by Robin Roseau
I didn't know if I should stop her. I didn't know if I dared stop her. I realized I was a little afraid of her, but I was far, far more fascinated than afraid.
"Your heart is pounding," she said. "Do I frighten you?"
"You're a little intimidating," I admitted. "And a lot exciting."
She bent her neck, and I thought she was going to kiss me, but instead she shifted and brushed her cheek with mine. She inhaled deeply, her nose near my neck. "You smell good," she said throatily.
My heart pounded harder at her words. She straightened. "You're safe, Zoe. Am I going too fast?"
In answer, I reached up to the back of her head and pulled. She smiled, and then a moment later, our lips met.
She was gentle at first. Not tentative, but gentle and soft, almost as if she was judging how to treat me. But then her kiss grew firmer, more insistent.
Hungry.
I parted my lips, and she accepted my invitation, her tongue slipping into my mouth to explore for a moment.
I moaned and found myself clutching at her.
She reacted to that, and her hunger was nearly palpable.
She was hungry for me.
Finally she broke the kiss, and her eyes were just a little wild. Then she settled down. She smiled and brushed my lips with her thumb. I stared up at her, my thoughts scrambled beyond recognition.
"I've thought about kissing you from the moment I first saw you," I said. Oops. I hadn't intended to sound like a stalker. Even if I was one.
She sat back on the bench next to me, her arm still around me, but she took on a self-satisfied air. "I know."
"Arrogant brat!" I called her. I slapped her shoulder with the back of my hand. When she chuckled at me, I wound up to hit her again.
Instead, she caught my hand, hers moving faster than I could even see. "Don't do that," she said in a very low tone.
I blanched. "I'm sorry," I said quickly. "Did I hurt you?"
"No." Her grip loosened. "But I am likely to consider it permission to play rough. I don't think that's your preference."
"No, it's not," I said. "I'm sorry. It won't happen again."
She released my hand and caressed my cheek again. "No harm done. I wanted to be clear from the beginning. My family plays a little rough. You are perfectly safe with me, but if you get physical like that, then it's permission. If you ever want to say 'no' to me, use your words. If you need to chastise me, use your words. Do you understand?"
I nodded. I didn't, not entirely, but I understood as much as she was telling me.
We sat quietly for a few minutes before I said, "It was a really nice kiss."
"I thought so, too?"
"Will there be more?"
"Yes. But there won't be more than kisses tonight."
"What if I want more?"
"Then I suppose you'll need to ask me out again."
"And you'll decline, and invite me instead?"
"Now you understand how this will work," she said with a grin. But then it faded. "I frighten you. You need to decide how you feel about that."
"You don't frighten me," I objected.
"Yes, I do," she countered. "It may be that your interest outweighs your fear. But I just told you I like to play rough, and I'm big enough to enforce that. You also have gotten a taste of how dominant I am."
"You also told me you wouldn't hurt me. Did you lie?"
"I told you if you fight me physically, you might not care for the results."
"And if I don't fight you physically? If I fight your dominance only with words?"
"Then I will treat you as gently as a piece of china."
"And you don't go crazy for a few days a month?"
She chuckled. "PMS has never been a significant problem for me."
We were facing east, and I glanced at the moon, just above the eastern horizon and not quite full. "The full moon is three days from now."
"Are you asking me if I howl at the full moon?"
I chuckled. "Do you?"
"I've been known to out of pure joy. Perhaps you would care to join me."
"Oh? Are you asking me on a second date? I thought I was supposed to ask you first."
"I decided to bypass the middleman."
"And I'm the middleman?"
"Perhaps don't carry that analogy too far."
"I'd love to see you again," I declared.
"Tuesday at six."
With that, she leaned back against the bench, and I leaned against her, her arm still around me. We sat like that for a minute until I said, "I liked your hand on my knee."
"Did you?" she asked. A moment later, her fingers were under the hem of my skirt again.
It felt nice.
* * * *
We sat quietly for a while, looking out over the lake. Behind us, the sun set. I was dressed lightly, but it was growing cool. Still, Elisabeth was warm, amazingly warm, the heat radiating from her. I pressed myself more tightly against her.
"We should go," she said. "I won't be able to keep you as warm when we walk."
"I'll be fine," I said. "But perhaps you're right."
And so we stood, but she pulled me against her, still sharing her heat, and slowly we headed back to her car.
* * * *
She walked me to the door of my apartment, frowning at the lack of security. "I warned you it's not much."
"I would prefer you lived in a safer building."
"This is what I can afford. Would you like to come in?"
"I would, but I want to discuss this situation with you." Then she took my keys from my hand and opened my apartment door, holding the door wide then stepping in behind me. She closed the door, thumbed the locks, and handed the key back to me. "Lara was serious about considering a donation to your organization."
"Is this related to my apartment?"
"Yes. She gives generously but cautiously at the same time. You can be sure she's already asked Michaela for her opinion. She's going to ask mine as well."
"All right," I said slowly. I set my purse down and kicked my shoes off. "Are you staying long?"
"Not long," she said.
"Long enough for a pot of tea?"
She smiled. "Sure."
I moved into the kitchenette area and busied myself putting on water. "Tea is there," I said, pointing. "Do you know what kind you prefer?"
"Whatever you like," she said.
"Herbal?"
She smiled. "Sure."
While I prepared the tea, Elisabeth prowled around my little apartment. I felt very self-conscious, but I didn't get a sense of judgment from her, other than about the security. It took a few minutes for the water to be ready, then I poured it over the leaves into the teapot, grabbed a couple of cups, and carried everything to the futon. I had a coffee table, and I set everything down, then sat down on the futon, watching her.
A moment later, she was seated next to me.
"You were saying?"
"I want to know what happens to the money we might give you. Specifically, who gets it? You? Some national organization?"
"It can be either way," I replied. "GreEN of Wisconsin is registered as a charitable organization. Or you can donate to GreEN itself, the national organization."
"So if Lara gives to GreEN of Wisconsin, it goes to you?"
"It goes to the local organization of which I am the manager."
"So you determine what happens with the money."
"Yes, although National audits me, and I have to justify what I spend."
"And so, if Lara made a donation, but applied strings, would those strings be honored?"
"What strings?" I asked.
"To begin with, movement of your headquarters into a more secure building."
"We can't afford it."
"I believe if Lara were to make a donation, you could afford it."
"The money needs to go where it will do the most good," I said firmly. "Fancier digs aren't a priority. I am perfectly safe here."
"I won't quest
ion your sense of priorities when it comes to saving the environment," she replied firmly, "but I would hope you would recognize that one of us is perhaps just a tiny bit more qualified to address matters of security."
I looked away. "That's heavy handed."
"So you would rather stay here than accept Lara's generous donation?"
I turned back to her. "Are you trying to buy me?"
Her eyes flashed. "Is that what you think?" she asked. "Is that what you think of me?"
She stood up. "I had a lovely evening." She turned towards the door, and I was out of my seat a half second later, running ahead of her to place my back against the door.
"Wait! Elisabeth."
She stopped a few feet away from me. Her gaze wasn't quite a glare. "What did I tell you about fighting physically with me?"
"But... No, it's not what I think of you. But I'm out of my depth. You're trying to push me around."
"I asked questions. That's it. You're the one who turned insulting both to yourself and to me."
"You sneered at my home."
"I sneered at the lack of security. Consider it a professional hazard. I won't apologize for wanting you safe. Yes, it's heavy handed. Michaela gets mad at me over it, but it's whom I am. Take it or leave it."
She continued to glare at me. My emotions were in turmoil, but I knew if I let her leave like this, I wouldn't see her again.
"Please, Elisabeth, can we talk calmly? I'm sorry for my question earlier. I wasn't accusing. I'm in waters that are uncharted for me. This is the best apartment I can afford, and even this place is more expensive than I'd like. You grew up with money, it sounds like. I bet you can't even imagine skipping meals because you're broke."
Her gaze softened. "You're right. We might need Michaela to translate."
"Why Michaela?"
"Michaela has been dirt poor, but that's her story to tell," Elisabeth replied. "All right. We can talk calmly." She stepped backwards, retreating to the futon and sat back down. She picked up her tea and sipped at it. A moment later, once I was sure she wasn't going to flee, I followed her.
"Lara's investments include real estate," Elisabeth said. "Mine did, too, but I sold my interests. I wish she'd sell hers, too, as they're a pain in the ass, even with professional managers." She paused. "I digress. If Lara offers more than a relatively small donation to GreEN -- which is not guaranteed -- then it will almost certainly come with strings about your headquarters."
"You're so sure of this?"
"I would insist. I don't insist with my sister very often, but when I do, she listens."
"So you're telling me if we accept her money, I have to move, presumably spending quite a bit more money every month."
"Actually, I suspect any donation would include a five-year agreement on a modest apartment in one of Lara's buildings and a demand that yes, you move into it. We would provide moving services."
"I have a lease."
"And Lara has a lawyer. You won't have a lease for very long." She paused. "I wonder how many housing violations we could find around here if we put our minds to it."
"The landlord has been okay. I don't want him threatened."
"He'll get two months rent in exchange for cancelling the lease. He'll have someone else moving in a week later."
She sipped from her tea. "So."
"I won't be kept."
Her eyes narrowed.
"I'm not your mistress!"
"I didn't say you were. I don't recall tying any of this to our personal relationship. And I don't need my sister to provide a home for my harem of mistresses." Her gaze softened. "What is so wrong with wanting you safe?"
"There are a lot of women in this city whose situations are a lot more tenuous than mine. What are you doing about them?"
"I didn't kiss any of them tonight."
"And if that were to become our last kiss? Would you drop this?"
"I can't force you to move, Zoe. I can't force you to accept my protection. But I can ask Lara to put strings on any money she gives you. You don't have to accept her money, but if you do, you'll also accept her strings. Those strings don't have anything to do with whether we ever kiss again."
She got up again. "Your safety is more important to me than kissing you. If you're so hung up on this because you think I'm trying to buy you, then I guess I need to remove that from the equation. I don't know if Lara intends a donation, but if she does, and if it's sizeable, you know what strings will be attached. Decide what you're going to do about it." She turned for the door.
"Wait!" I said. Elisabeth stopped with her hand on the knob. Remembering what she said about only using my words, I didn't hurry after her this time.
"What choices do I have?" I asked.
She turned around and leaned against the door. "If you don't take the money, you have all the choices you currently have. If you take the money, then I imagine Lara would offer a choice of locations based on what is currently available. She owns twelve apartment buildings throughout Madison, and there are always a few openings or pending openings. There would be a five-year guarantee or until you no longer required the space."
"And you can offer this on her behalf."
"She won't have a problem with it. I can imagine you could do quite a lot with another five hundred a month by not having this place to pay for."
Five hundred would about double my budget.
"Are you angry at me?" I asked.
"No."
"You're awfully heavy handed for someone I just met today."
"About this, yes, I am. As I said, it's an occupational hazard coupled with an exceedingly protective personality on top. Michaela hates it. Lara's the same way, only worse, so Michaela gets it from both of us."
"Is everything going to be like this?"
"No. Just your safety."
"So, getting ahead of ourselves, if we were in a relationship, would you try to interfere with my ... um..."
"Trespassing?"
"Yes."
"No promises."
"Not good enough."
"If we were in a relationship where I felt the right to interfere with your likelihood of being hurt, then I suspect I am also in a position to help you a great deal to make up for my interference."
I thought about it. "I bet you're right," I agreed. "Elisabeth, this is the most I can afford, but if there is a donation to GreEN of Wisconsin that includes a safer apartment, I would happily accept it. Now, please don't leave."
She watched me for a minute. "Are you sure? I do not ever want to again be accused of trying to buy you."
"I'm sorry about that. I wasn't trying to accuse you. I was trying to understand and perhaps doing so poorly." I paused. "Elisabeth, I have pride. I spend a good share of my life begging for money, but it's for GreEN. I don't like asking for money when I know some of it covers my personal expenses, like this apartment. And I can't ask people who barely earn more than I do to support my efforts if I'm living in better conditions they are."
"Apology accepted," she said. "But in this case, you're not asking. I certainly understand pride." She smiled but didn't move. So I patted the futon next to me and leaned back, closing my eyes. I heard the floor creak and then her weight settled down next to me. I moved closer and leaned against her, and a moment later, her arm was around my shoulder. I curled into her, pulling my legs up so one knee was partially over her nearest leg.
"You are very fierce," I observed. She didn't respond, but a moment later, she was caressing my legs, and this time she let the skirt slide up a little.
But not too far.
"I'm not seducing you tonight," she told me.
"What if I decide to seduce you?"
"We both know that's not how it's going to work."
I opened my eyes and looked up at her through my lashes. She lifted her hand to my cheek and caressed me, and then she shifted her grip. Without warning, I felt myself pulled over her so I was straddling her lap.
I squeaked in surprise, but s
he pulled me to her, and our mouths met.
If the kiss in the park had been amazing, I don't know how to describe this kiss.
In some ways it was raw, feral. Her hunger was obvious, but so was mine. And I've never been held so firmly but so gently at the same time. I was right where she wanted me, and we both knew it.
I didn't mind at all.
Finally she broke the kiss, and I collapsed against her.
"Wow."
She chuckled.
"You don't have to be so satisfied about it."
"My heart is pounding as hard as yours is, Zoe."
I slipped a hand between us and placed it over her chest.
"Hey," she complained. "No escalating."
"Sorry," I said with my own chuckle. It had only been a little tiny boob graze, not an all out mauling. I could feel her heart though. It was strong and sure.
We stayed like that for several minutes. Then she shifted forward on the sofa. I found myself sitting on her knees, our bodies still pressed together and my legs wrapped around her. "Hang on," she said.
I squeaked as she stood up, clutching at her tightly with both my legs around her waist and my arms around her neck. She, in turn, had her hands around my waist awfully close to clutching my ass.
Then she turned around and deposited me gently on the sofa. "I had a nice time," she whispered into my ear. "I'll pick you up Tuesday at six. Dress to be outside. We'll have a picnic and wait for the moon to rise."
"We're going to howl?"
"Yes."
She released me and moved away.
"Elisabeth?"
She turned back to me.
"Promise me I'm safe."
"You're safe, Zoe. I promise."
I believed her. I wasn't sure why.
She headed for the door but then turned around again. "I am waiting outside this door until I hear the locks click."
I smiled and climbed to my feet, following after her. I moved straight into her arms, closed my eyes, and lifted my face towards her.
She accepted the offer, although the kiss was soft and gentle.
"Good night, Zoe."
I didn't hear her walk away until after I locked the door behind her.
Then I stood there, leaning against the door.
"Wow."
I shook my head, slowly pushing off the door. I grabbed my laptop on the way back to the futon. I plopped down, grabbed a gulp of the tea, then opened the laptop. A moment later, I was watching the video I had of her.