by T L Gray
“Why didn’t he go with him?” I asked, trying to sound annoyed by his presence instead of thrilled.
My father let out a sigh and rubbed his chin, realizing I had successfully changed the subject on him. “He’s a junior in high school and didn’t want to go. He’s got his father’s entrepreneurial mind and offered to work for free if I would let him stay here and finish out high school. I’ve been having some difficulty finding an appropriate replacement for Anna, so it worked out well. The kid’s a lot smarter than he looks.” His voice cracked a little when said the word “appropriate,” and I scowled. I hated Anna. She was a witch, a home wrecker, and the trashy blond who had seduced my dad. Good riddance is all I could say on that one.
“Listen, Kaitlyn, I have some really important phone calls to make today, and my day has been completely shot. Make yourself at home here, and I’ll see you at dinner tonight. We still have a lot to discuss.” He leaned down and kissed my cheek, slightly squeezing my shoulder before he walked out the door.
I stared at him in disbelief. He had just chalked the entire day up to an inconvenience. My mom had bled out in her bathroom, and he was worried about a phone call! The tears started to flow as I looked around the room that was decorated just for me. He didn’t know me at all, and the reality of it was plastered all over the room. I burst out of the door and down the stairs. I had to get out of here.
My breathing was labored and shallow by the time I flew out the back door and down the pier leading to the lake. I took the side steps two at a time and finally collapsed on the sand that ran the length of the property. I watched my dad’s shiny red ski boat bouncing in the water at the edge of the pier and could taste the bile in the back of my throat. Tears stung at my eyes, and I missed my mom so bad in that moment I wanted to scream.
I heard footsteps on the pier and turned my head towards the water. If my dad thought he wasn’t going to get an earful when he came down here, he had another thing coming. It was my birthday, and he was worried about phone calls! I felt him take up the space next to me on the sand, but I refused to look at him. I didn’t want him to see me crying.
“Kind of beautiful out here, isn’t it?” The voice didn’t belong to my father. Instead, it was the same sweet honey tone I had heard in the driveway. I quickly wiped my eyes and turned to see Grant in all his glory next to me with his elbows relaxing easily on his knees. He turned to look at me and shot me a kind smile, one that reached all the way to his perfect caramel colored eyes. “I’m Grant. You must be the illustrious Kaitlyn I’ve heard so much about.”
I had never been lost for words, but as I looked at him, I could only nod.
He tucked his arm around my shoulder and squeezed it slightly, sending waves of excitement down the length of my body. “Hang in there, kiddo. I know it’s a lot to take in at first, but your dad really loves you. You’re the only thing that seems to chip at that gruff exterior of his.”
He called me “kiddo.” Not what I wanted to hear, but he also hadn’t moved his arm, so I looked up at him and smiled. We stayed like that for at least ten minutes in silence until Grant’s phone beeped at him.
“Duty calls,” he stated, jumping up and brushing off his pants. “You gonna be ok?”
“I’ll be fine,” I whispered, my eyes refusing to break away from his. “Thanks for sitting with me.”
“Any time,” he said with a wink and then took off in a sprint up the stairs and down the pier.
My arm burned where his hand had been, and I smiled, appreciating the fact that he didn’t try and force me to talk. Everyone was always trying to make me talk about my feelings lately. The counselor I went to after “the incident” was always asking me questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “How has it been with your dad gone?” Blah, blah, blah! It made me feel like crap. I hated my dad being gone, but I wasn’t going to tell a perfect stranger that, one who would undoubtedly report all my feelings right back to my parents.
I took off my new shoes, running my hands lovingly over them in the process, and walked down to the water’s edge. Maybe I could sleep out here tonight instead of in that room. I shivered as the cold water streamed over my toes. Maybe not.
I touched the spot on my arm where Grant’s hand had rested. He was a junior and I was in the eighth grade. That was only four years difference between us. He may see me like a kid now, but with a little makeup and some better clothes, who knows? I smiled as I glanced back at the house, Tucker who?
Dinner started precisely at seven, just as my father had said it would this morning. I met him in the large dining room after meticulously primping, just in case Grant was to join us. My father made his entrance and enveloped me in a bear hug. He was in a good mood, and I loved it when my father had that relaxed look. It warmed up his usually hard face and made my insides feel fuzzy and warm.
“Before we eat, let’s go talk in the living room,” he said after releasing me. I followed him to the purple couches and sat down. He took a seat on the love seat opposite of me and cleared his throat. I watched as he made a waving motion with his hand and turned to see who he was looking at.
I felt the ringing in my ears the minute I saw her. Flashes of lightning shot before my eyes as anger boiled through every part of my body. Anna was walking timidly towards my dad, her hands fidgeting with each step. I glared as she approached, refusing to hide any of my hatred for her. She sat next to my father, and he wrapped his arm protectively around her. My eyes immediately darted to his hand which was now rubbing the fabric covering her protruding belly.
“Kaitlyn, you remember Anna, my old assistant?” he asked as he turned his attention back to me. Do I remember her? You mean the girl who was naked on your desk when Mom and I walked in your office a year ago? Um yes…I remember her.
My father must have been reading my thoughts because he cleared his throat and continued, “As you can see, Anna and I are going to have a baby. We are getting married in a couple of months and then your new brother will be born this summer.” I stared in disbelief, fighting every instinct I had to rip every piece of hair out of her platinum blond head. “Kaitlyn, this is a good thing. Think of it like this, you will get to have two families now instead of one.”
My hands were shaking with rage as I watched Anna’s hand rub my father’s leg. “Does Mom know?” I hissed, trying to get my emotions under control.
“Yes, she knows. I told her a week ago and we talked about it again this morning when I told her that I was telling you tonight,” he explained, completely unaware of how close I was teetering on the edge of sanity.
I stood in rage, my whole body shaking with the fury I couldn’t control. “This morning? It was your fault!” I screamed, making my father jump. “She did this because of YOU. You cruel, heartless monster…how could you?” I took off running, ignoring my father’s screams behind me. I ran and ran until the sand ended, and I hit the edge of the property line where a brick wall blocked my path. I slammed into it hoping it would move out of my way and let me escape my crushing reality. It stood solid, leaving me only to collapse in front of it with my sobs raking every inch of my body. I curled in the fetal position, tasting the sand as it mixed with my tears.
A soft hand began to caress my hair, but I could only make out the knees of my visitor. It wasn’t my father, so I didn’t recoil from the touch, and let him pull me into his arms while I cried.
“Just let it out, little one,” Grant whispered as he held me. “It only gets easier from here.” He was rocking me back and forth like a child, and I let him comfort me the way my father never could. When I had finally cried the last of the tears I had been holding onto that day, I sat up and looked at my prince charming. The moonlight only made his features softer and his eyes brighter. He was looking at me like a worried big brother, but I just wanted him to kiss me.
I reached up to touch his cheek, struck by the smoothness of his skin. I felt him hold his breath and then turn away from my piercing stare.
&nb
sp; “Lets get you back, kiddo, before your dad starts to hunt you down.” He pulled us both up off the sand and kept his arm around me protectively as we walked back to the house. I leaned into him, savoring the way he moved and smelled next to my cheek.
My father was waiting on the pier when we walked up, and Grant pushed me towards him despite my attempts to flee again. He grabbed my wrist and then dismissed Grant, thanking him for finding me. I jerked my hand away and folded them across my chest, staring him down with the same stern look he was giving me.
“What?” I asked rudely as we continued to stare.
“First, young lady, you will never again speak to me that way in my house. Do you understand?” I nodded, still matching his glare. “Second, you will apologize to Anna for your behavior and sit down for dinner with us.”
“Never.” It was a statement that echoed in the darkness and bounced between us before he finally pulled his eyes off of mine.
“Kaitlyn, Anna lives here. She’s going to be my wife, and you are going to have a brother. Those facts are not going to change because you’ve decided to have a temper tantrum.”
“Is that what you told the doctor Mom had this morning? A ‘temper tantrum?’ God forbid you’d actually take responsibility for what you’ve done!”
My father turned his steely eyes back to mine, but I didn’t flinch. “Go. To. Your. Room,” he hissed, fighting to control the anger I saw flash in his blue eyes.
“Gladly,” I retorted and stomped off to my room, slamming the door as hard as I could before throwing myself on the hideous pink comforter that signified exactly how dysfunctional my life had become.
It had been three weeks since my birthday and I still hadn’t spoken to my dad. I had found that avoiding him in that big house was easy especially with his busy schedule. Anna was gone most of the time with a million appointments to get ready for their wedding—a wedding I had no intention of attending. The school dance had come and gone, and Tucker did finally ask me to go. We had fun, but it was nothing spectacular. Tucker had lost all his charm the minute I saw Grant, who I was convinced was my knight in shining armor.
I would seek him out every day to talk and tease him about his day. When he wasn’t swamped with homework or tasks for my dad, we would go out on the boat or play Frisbee in the sand. Grant loved to be outside, so he was easily enticed when I would offer an escape from Daddy’s stuffy office.
“You’re going to get me fired, kiddo,” he had accused one day while we were slicing the boat through the crystal clear lake water.
“Whatever, Grant. My dad knows your dad, and if there’s one thing he doesn’t take for granted, it’s strong business relationships. You would practically have to commit a felony for him to fire you,” I assured him.
He laughed and shook his head, sending a stream of warmth down my spine. “You’re something else, you know that?”
“That’s what they tell me,” I replied playfully, trying my best to flirt with him. It was an act I practiced a lot, but never with any headway. Grant saw me as a kid…nothing else. I was determined to change that!
He turned to look out at the water as he drove. He seemed lost in thought and I couldn’t help but stare at the way his profile accentuated his strong jaw. I moved to stand next to him, placing my small hand on his back. “Will you teach me to drive this?” I asked, motioning towards the steering wheel in the boat.
He tensed, but moved aside so I could stand in front of him. He showed me the controls and let me take over the steering once I was comfortable with it. At one point, I didn’t turn quick enough, and he placed his hand over mine to steer the boat easily to the left. I felt his breath in my ear as he talked me through the turn and actually felt my knees go weak.
The boat had straightened out, but Grant hadn’t removed his hand from mine, and I leaned back slightly to put my head on his hard chest. Grant stiffened and moved away from me. “I think you’ve got the hang of it, Kaitlyn. Let’s get back. I still have some things I need to finish up for your father.”
That was four days ago, and I had seen very little of him since. He always seemed to have some task from my dad that he had to do. It was the weekend, though, and my dad and Anna were off to New York for a few days. I noticed she never let him out of her sight for long, always tagging along when he went for business trips. That’s what happens when you marry a cheater…a life of questions and trust issues. Serves her right.
I hadn’t seen Grant since I got home from school, and it was now pushing ten o’clock. I wanted to talk to him. I had decided that I would tell him how I felt about him tonight. I would be going back to my mom’s soon, and I didn’t want to leave without him knowing how much he meant to me. I couldn’t have gotten through these last few weeks without him, and every moment we spent together just reaffirmed that I had fallen hard as a rock for him. I had dreamed of how he would respond. Maybe, just maybe, I would get my first kiss.
I tiptoed to his room and knocked lightly on the door as I opened it up. “Grant?” I asked through the darkness. I heard sheets ruffling as a lamp suddenly switched on revealing all that Grant had been up to.
“Kaitlyn! What are you doing in here?” he yelled, trying to pull up the covers to hide his “friend’s” naked body. I gasped at the sight of her, all flushed and disheveled under his sheets and jealousy flamed red hot through my soul. I turned and fled from the scene trying to catch my breath in the process. I was a fool! A complete and utter fool!
I had become just like my mother, reliant on some guy to fill all the holes and hurts in my heart. “Never!” I screamed at the lake, my voice echoing in the darkness.
I wiped my eyes in disgust. There would be no more tears, no more hurting, and no more naive Kaitlyn. Let someone else have the fairytale. I would be no one’s Cinderella!
I heard footsteps behind me and Grant’s breathless voice. “Kaitlyn,” he said apologetically.
I turned to look at him, my face hardened by the hurt radiating through my entire being. I took note of him, bare chested, wearing nothing but a pair of running shorts I’m sure he threw on in haste.
“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” I said coldly, making sure my eyes hid everything my heart was feeling.
Grant looked miserable as he stared at me. “We’ve been together a long time, Kaitlyn.”
I raised my hand to stop him and started back towards the house. “You don’t owe me an explanation. My father’s out of town and you’re a guy. I should have knocked,” I simply stated as I walked past him.
He reached out and caught my hand before I was out of reach. We stared at each other for what felt like a lifetime—my eyes blank, his full of regret. I pulled my hand out of his and walked away, never looking back.
2. AWAKENING
Present day…
The water was still surrounding me as I watched my thirteen-year-old self fade into the darkness. I was sad to see her go; she represented all the innocence that had been lost that year. The darkness of the water started to feel cold until I could see those caramel eyes everywhere I looked. They displayed every emotion I ever witnessed, sadness, anger, regret, and compassion, always so much compassion. His eyes were penetrating me and I trembled wanting them to go away. I had buried them…why were they back?
The water suddenly began to drain taking his eyes with it. I was falling. I tried to reach out and grab onto anything that would stop the free fall, but the water was gone, and heaviness hurled me down into the darkness. I felt panicked and threw open my eyes right before impact. Fear had labored my breathing making the bright lights that seared into my irises even more painful.
“Kaitlyn? Can you hear me?” a strange voice asked.
I couldn’t see anything, just light…too much light. I blinked, trying to make it go away.
My father’s voice came next. “Kaitlyn, can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can.”
I finally registered his hand in mine and attempted to squeeze it, finding the motion more difficult
than I would have expected.
“I felt it,” he beamed. “Kaitlyn, can you see me?”
I tried to turn my head, to get my eyes to focus. I could see his shadow, and as I stared at it longer, his features started to come into focus.
“Daddy?” I rasped when I could finally see his blue eyes. They were tired and wet with tears, making him appear softer than I ever remember him being.
“I’m here, baby. I’m here,” he assured me. “Can we get her some water?”
Within seconds, I felt a straw in my mouth and drank down the cool liquid that began to ease my scorched throat. Recollection slowly came to me. It was New Year’s. Why was my dad here? Where was Jake?
“Why are you here?” I asked hoarsely after taking one more drink of the glorious liquid. “Where am I?”
“You had an accident. You are in the hospital.”
Hospital? How? I just went to bed…I remembered it clearly. Jake wouldn’t talk to me; he was angry because of Avery, and we had fought harder than ever in our life.
“Where’s Jake?” I asked, concerned. Had we driven somewhere?
I watched my father’s expression turn into a scowl. “Jake’s fine. He’s still at school. Kaitlyn, you are at Duke Medical Center. You’ve been unconscious for days.”
I shook my head. This wasn’t possible. It was New Year’s. “Why?”
“You had alcohol poisoning, which caused you to pass out. Then you aspirated, and your lung collapsed. Kaitlyn, it’s a miracle you are alive, sweetheart.”
My head started swimming with the information, and I closed my eyes, unwilling to listen anymore.
“Mr. Summers, that’s probably enough talking. She may not be able to handle all this right away. Kaitlyn, do you need anything?” the strange voice asked me.
“Not my name...” was all I could say.