by Sarah Monte
“I will,” said David.
“Promise me,” said Mike. “Promise me that if you need me, you will call me.”
David looked at Mike, an expression of surprise on his face. “I didn’t realize that what I was going through had such an impact on you. If I’m not mistaken, that’s the first sign of real emotion that Michael Sinclair has shown in years!”
Mike laughed and said, “Well, I guess that tells you that I may not say it, but I do feel it. I am always here.”
“Thanks, Mike,” said David. As he got up and left, Mike watched his cousin’s figure recede with a deep sense of longing. He missed the days when things were simpler. He missed being happy.
Not long after David left, Mike got up and made his way out of the warehouse district. When he got to his car he could think of only one thing, and that was Jennifer. He needed to talk to her. He needed her to ground him and make him feel like everything was going to be okay. He needed her to talk to him about jazz and philosophy and how she was allergic to peanuts. He needed normalcy, and Jennifer was the only person in the world who could give him this right now.
Chapter Six
Jennifer had just gotten off work and she was heading down to her car when she got a call. She checked her phone and saw that it was Mike. She felt a surge of pleasure at the fact that he was calling her. Over the past month she had started to really like Mike, and she had started to get settled into her job as well. Her adventures with Mike helped to balance out the high pressure lifestyle that she was experiencing because of her career, and she really appreciated that everything was working out for her now.
“Hey you,” said Jennifer, answering the call. “How are you?”
“I’m pretty good,” said Mike. “Do you think you can meet me? I’ll buy you dinner.”
“Sure,” said Jennifer, “I’d love to. I’ll just head home, take a quick shower and get dressed. Pick me up in an hour?”
“No,” said Mike, “I mean… I really want to see you as soon as possible.”
“Well I’m kind of gross right now,” said Jennifer. “I was at work for twelve hours, you know.”
“I don’t care,” said Mike. “I just… really want to see you and I can’t wait.”
“Well alright,” said Jennifer, “but don’t say I didn’t warn you. I look like a mess! Are you going to pick me up from my place or from work?”
“I can get to the office in about ten minutes,” said Mike. “Wait for me.”
“Alright,” said Jennifer. She cut the call and sat down in the lobby. Mike took less than ten minutes to get to her, so before she knew it he was calling her and telling her to come outside.
She went out and saw him on his bike. She loved the sight of the thing, powerful machine that it was. It turned her on to no end to see Mike on it, looking all macho and rough. He looked like a real man and he also looked dangerous, as if at any moment he might end up doing something that Jennifer would never expect. She loved the thought that he might be able to surprise her at any given moment.
“So, are we going to be travelling on your bike?” said Jennifer with a smile.
“Yes,” said Mike. “I had a feeling that you would like the idea of going on this thing. It’s the sort of thing you would enjoy, after all. Fast, dangerous, exciting. Just the type of thing you need after a long, hard day at work.”
“You know me way too well,” said Jennifer. She got on the back and wrapped her arms around Mike as they set off. She loved the feel of his rock hard abdomen under her arms, the way his smell seemed to permeate her entire being.
Mike had a very specific scent to him. It was extremely powerful and sexy, it was the sort of musky, dark scent she had always associated with him without even realizing it. She enjoyed his smell and the feel of his body as they travelled across time and got to a rather shady looking restaurant. This was not a part of town that Jennifer had ever visited before, but she felt safe with Mike around. After all, he always seemed like he knew exactly what he was doing. He always seemed like he had everything under control.
“I hope this place is okay,” said Mike. “I wanted to go somewhere outside the normal parts of town that we tend to visit. I just… I want tonight to be about getting away from it all.”
“I don’t mind,” said Jennifer. “I am not all that fussy about where we go. I feel like no matter where I go with you, it would be a good time because we just click so well.”
Mike looked at Jennifer with an odd expression upon his face. His eyes were glinting but they did so somewhat differently this time. They seemed to be glinting with pleasure rather than anything else. Jennifer noticed that the corners of his lips were curling up slightly as well. She realized with a start that Mike was smiling!
They entered the restaurant and the owner of the place seemed to know Mike. He took them to a table at the very back where they could enjoy some privacy and they ended up ordering chicken fried steaks and beers. While they waited for their orders they munched on French fries that the cook had brought to them as an appetizer of sorts and talked.
“So,” said Jennifer, “what made you want to meet me so badly? What’s the occasion?”
“There is no occasion,” said Mike, “I just feel safe around you.”
“Really?” asked Jennifer. “I thought you didn’t need anyone to make you feel safe.”
Mike gave her that same intense expression and said, “Well, we all need someone to make us feel safe. Not to say that it’s your responsibility to make me feel this way, of course. Nothing of the sort. I just tend to feel this way around you, and this is why I often gravitate towards you when I need to unwind.”
“Well I’m glad that you do,” said Jennifer, “I feel pretty safe around you too, even though everything about you seems to spell danger and I know that this would end up going somewhere I would end up regretting.”
“Well, we’re not going to know until we get there, are we?” said Mike.
“I guess not,” said Jennifer, “but why did you need to feel safe now? Did something happen? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” said Mike, “let’s just talk about something else.”
“Mike,” said Jennifer, “you know, we don’t have to treat this like a way to distract ourselves. We can be a little more open with each other too. We can be a little vulnerable. If you want to talk about something that’s bothering you, you can do that too. I am here to listen.”
Mike sighed and said, “No, I don’t need to talk about anything at all.”
“Clearly you do,” said Jennifer. “You have been pretty intense from the moment we met today. I can tell that something’s on your mind. If you don’t want to talk about it I understand completely, but I just want you to know that you don’t have to hide it if you are feeling it strongly. You can just talk about it, that’s a very normal thing to do.”
“I know,” said Mike. He seemed to think about it for a moment and then said, “It’s just something that’s happening in my personal life, something that I feel like I might not be able to handle. I am not used to going through things that I am not able to handle, it makes me feel… uneasy.”
“Okay,” said Jennifer. She felt like the fact that he had said this much was a pretty impressive breakthrough, as Mike was clearly not the sort of person that would allow people to get this deep into what he was feeling at all.
“Thanks for not… prying,” said Mike. “I mean, it’s well within your right’s to ask for a little more information. You are here with me and I obviously have something on my mind. To top it all off, you are the person that I have been meeting outside of work lately, the only person. And I know that it’s the same for you with me.”
“Don’t worry about it,” said Jennifer. “I just want to make sure that you’re okay.”
“That’s a little odd, to be honest,” said Mike. “It’s been a while since someone has felt that way about me. My parents died a few years ago and ever since then no one has really been all that concerned f
or my wellbeing. Honestly, I need to show people that I can handle myself and that I don’t need anyone to care about me in any way, but at the same time it’s nice to know that someone cares.”
Jennifer laughed and said, “You know, for some this stoic you can be pretty damn dramatic.”
“Much like you, I am full of surprises,” said Mike, that same mischievous glint in his eye.
“So, how did you find this place?” asked Jennifer. “The owner seems to know you, so you’ve clearly been coming here a while. Was this a place you came to often as a child?”
Mike seemed to realize something and went very quiet.
“Did I say something wrong?” asked Jennifer.
Mike let out a bitter laugh and said, “No, not at all. It’s just that… well there is someone that I am worried about, that is the source of my stress right now. And this place… well I discovered it with him. We used to come here a lot. I didn’t even realize. I mean, I’ve always come to this place, you know? I didn’t even remember that I had come here for the first time with him.”
“Who is this person you are worried about?” asked Jennifer. “You don’t have to tell me why you are worried about him, I just want to know a little more about your first time coming here. It seems like an interesting topic to discuss.”
After a few moments of silence, Mike said, “My cousin, David. We came here for the first time when we were ten. We used to live go to school near here and one day when we were heading home we decided to take a different route and stumbled on this place. We weren’t able to drink back then of course so we only had milkshakes but they were some of the best milkshakes we had ever had! It was a good day, and the owner of this restaurant, Dan is his name, he was and is a great guy. We started coming here pretty much every day until we graduated high school. It was sort of our home away from home, the place we came to and dreamed of making it big one day.”
“That sounds wonderful,” said Jennifer. She was curious about this cousin now, but she knew better than to ask Mike about him. She knew that this would only end up agitating him because it would remind him of the very thing he was trying to forget. She decided that instead, she would allow him to open up a little and talk about all of the things he loved about this place, and all of the memories he had here with David.
She ended up learning that David was basically Mike’s brother. They had grown up together and had always assumed that they would go into business together. However, Mike had gotten into Harvard and David, not being as smart or good at school as Mike, had ended up going to a state university. They had lost contact, with Mike getting focused on his new enterprise that would eventually turn into the company Jennifer was working at now and David leading a life of relative mediocrity.
Mike got as far into the story as the point where he and David reconnected a little over a year ago, but at that point he got quiet and Jennifer realized that this was as far as she was going to get in the story. She wanted to know more, but she had a feeling that when David had reconnected with Mike he had done so because he was in some kind of trouble and he needed Mike’s help. She had a feeling that it was money related, and she wondered if Mike resented that his childhood best friend had only reconnected with him because he needed money.
There were a lot of questions she had but she kept all of them to herself. Instead, she and Mike talked and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company, and in doing so got closer to one another than ever before.
By the time Mike dropped Jennifer home, something beautiful had started to grow between them.
Chapter Seven
The dinner she had enjoyed with Mike had been a lovely experience for Jennifer all in all, and she was starting to feel like things were getting a little different between them. Whereas before they had pretty much just been trying to have a good time with each other and trying to enjoy each other’s company, now there was an emotional connection there that was pretty much undeniable. Jennifer did not know how she was going to deal with this emotional connection. She had not been expecting to get emotionally involved with her boss, after all, and this complicated matters greatly.
On the one hand, Mike was a good person that was genuine. He was not just trying to sleep with her and Jennifer really, really appreciated that. He made her feel like she was an actual person with something valuable to contribute rather than just being a piece of meat that he could devour as soon as she was tender enough. He was also an interesting person, he was not just some guy that put on airs in order to seem less shallow than he actually was. He did not try to pretend to be someone he was not, and this more than anything else convinced Jennifer that getting emotionally involved with him might not be such a bad thing after all. He was also extremely sexy, and this didn’t hurt. He was muscular and tattooed and even though this was not the kind of look that Jennifer would have gone for, she couldn’t deny that at this moment she was more than a little attracted to it, and that it turned her on a great deal.
On the other hand, Mike was the owner of the company she was working at. This meant that no matter what, it was going to cause problems for her if she got involved with him. Every promotion she ever got would end up being looked at with disdain. People would assume that she was only getting ahead because of the fact that she was involved with her boss, and not because she was actually good at her job. Hence, she felt like doing anything serious with Mike would be a huge blow for career, a career that she had spent a huge chunk of her life trying to work towards and attain.
She was very confused, so she decided to call Mike the night after they had dinner at his childhood restaurant.
“Hey,” she said when Mike picked up, “are you busy?”
“Not at the moment, no,” said Mike. “Why, what’s up?”
“Well I just… I kind of wanted to talk about something,” said Jennifer. Her heart was pounding. In her experience, guys really did not respond all that well to serious talks.
“Talk about what?” asked Mike.
“Last night,” said Jennifer, taking a deep breath before continuing, “last night was pretty amazing. I mean, we talked and laughed and had a good time, but we also got to know each other I think. We learned a few things about each other, and we ended up showing each other a side to our personalities that neither of us reveal all that easily. And this is the sort of thing that I had been trying to avoid because of obvious reasons, but now that it’s happened don’t you think we should address it?”
Mike was silent for a moment before saying, “I honestly have no idea what you’re talking about.”
Jennifer was taken aback, struck dumb with shock. “What do you mean you have no idea? We kind of connected last night, we have been connecting for over a month now. We are heading towards something neither of us fully understand, and I think we should talk about it before we get there.”
“Jennifer,” said Mike, “look, I don’t know what you think last night was, but it was just me trying to get outside of my head. I needed a way to enjoy my life a little and you gave me that. I am really grateful, but that’s honestly all it was. I am sorry if I lead you to believe that it was anything more than that. It really wasn’t I was just trying to have a good time.”
“Are you serious right now?” said Jennifer, almost apoplectic by this point. “You are the one that has been directing the course of our relationship. You took me out last night and opened up to me, and now you are saying that it didn’t mean anything? You never open up to anyone, I know that much, and it’s not like I am desperate for anything with you. I just felt like there was something there and I wanted to discuss it, whether we should put a stop to it or keep going with it and see what happens. I didn’t expect you to completely deny there being anything at all when we clearly have a connection that goes beyond being friends.”
Mike sighed and said, “I don’t know what to tell you, Jennifer. I own the company you work at, don’t you think this is a little awkward? I mean, do you expect us to start dating or something just beca
use we went out to dinner once?”
“Okay,” said Jennifer, shaking with anger. “Okay. You know what? Fuck you. I didn’t ask you to date me, I was just acknowledging the fact that we are started to connect at an emotional level. You were the one that said that I make you feel safe. That is not the sort of thing you say to someone you just consider a friend. You took me out because you needed me, and I was fine with that. But at the end of the day, you can’t just fucking devalue that by claiming that it didn’t mean anything.”
“It didn’t mean anything,” said Mike. “There, I said it now. Are you happy?”
“Oh fuck off!” said Jennifer. She cut the call and tossed her phone onto the bed. She couldn’t believe how he was behaving right now. What a selfish, arrogant person! She had been following his lead this whole time, never contacting him on her own, instead allowing him to contact her whenever he felt like it. He was the one that called her and talked to her, the one that took her out and spilled his guts and acted vulnerable. He was the one that had said that she was the only person that could get him outside his head. And now he had the nerve to actually say that she was the one taking this the wrong way! He was gaslighting her, making her feel like she was crazy just because she was following the way that their interactions were going.
She honestly couldn’t believe what an asshole this guy was. She couldn’t believe that she had actually considered doing something with him. When she thought about it, it was the fact that he had so scornfully asked her if she wanted him to date her. He was the one that wanted her to be emotionally available for him all the time, and now here he was being so condescending towards her for wanting to discuss things like a proper adult.
Her phone started to ring, and she picked it up to see that it was Mike. She scoffed. The nerve of him, pretending like this was okay! Did he actually think that she would want to talk to him after what he had just said to her?
She let the call drop on its own, but then he called her again. This time she rejected the call, only for him to text her. She opened the text and said that it said, “Please pick up. I’m sorry.”