She really wasn’t a bad looking girl. A bit nerdy, perhaps, but it was alright. Olivia, Olivia… was that name on my hookup list? I thought so. That was another little silver lining. I was going to be able to do Payton a favor and check a name of my list at the same time. Not too bad.
I pulled the paint tubes out of my pocket and handed them to her. “Maybe if you just paint a white line over the red it’ll look better,” I suggested.
Olivia nodded and took the tubes. She squirted some white paint into the palm of her hand and then studied my abs. Carefully, she reached out and touched them. My abs tensed instinctively at her touch. I kept them tensed and tried to breathe lightly as she rubbed the paint in.
“Are you okay?” I asked in a quiet voice as Olivia sniffled.
“What? Oh, yes,” she said. “Sorry. I just broke up with my boyfriend.”
“Oh,” I said. “I’m sorry. That must really suck.”
“Yeah,” Olivia said. A tear formed in the corner of her eye. “I knew that keeping a long-distance relationship going would be tough. I just thought… he’s just so perfect. He’s sweet and sensitive and smart and artistic. I don’t want to not have him in my life.”
Olivia took her hand away and the tears started to flow more freely now. I reached out to give her a hug – it was my instinctual response when confronted by crying girls – but then I realized I would get paint all over her clothes. I stopped and stood there uselessly as Olivia began to sob.
There was only one other thing I could think of to do. I reached up and touched Olivia’s chin with my fingers. I gently lifted her head up until she was staring at me.
“I don’t know anything about long distance relationships and I don’t know your boyfriend,” I said. “All I know is that you’re a beautiful girl and that you’re his loss. There is no doubt in my mind that you’ll find another amazing guy. How could you not? You’re beautiful and, from what Sadie tells me, brilliant.”
For the first time Olivia cracked a smile. Then it disappeared as she continued to look into my eyes. Slowly, she closed her eyelids and lifted her mouth to mine.
We kissed. I was distantly aware of the roar of the crowd as the football team ran back onto the field. That was unimportant, however. What was important was the feel of Olivia’s soft lips against mine and the way her body seemed to cave into mine, leaning on me for support and strength. We made out tenderly at first and then passionately, forgetting about the paint and the ex boyfriend and everything else. There is something so tantalizing and satisfying about kissing a beautiful girl… it’s like all my other problems vanished. For at least that moment, all was right in the world.
The worst part of the night was not when Lakeville lost the game. It was the walk of shame back to our seats in the stands. Olivia’s clothes were covered in red and white paint and the letter on my chest was smeared to the point that it was unrecognizable. The guys laughed heartily and pounded me on the back. When Olivia and I parted ways, however, I noticed a little smile on her lips and a gleam in her eye. That was all that mattered.
Chapter 39 – Homecoming Dance
“Now. Let’s go dance now,” Payton said.
“Oh, is Jamal watching?” I asked.
“Shut up,” Payton said. “For the last time, I’m not using you to get back at my ex. Even if I was, so what? You said you were fine with that.”
I stood up from my plastic folding chair at the lunchroom table and let Payton lead me to the open area in the cafeteria, which had been repurposed as a dance floor. Despite what Payton had said, I saw Jamal staring balefully at me over Trinity’s shoulder. Payton had obviously noticed him watching and decided that it was time for us to dance again.
From the moment we arrived at the homecoming dance, Payton seemed to have one and only one goal in mind: making Jamal jealous. That didn’t bother me. What did bother me was that every time Jamal looked away Payton would drop me like a hot potato and say that she wanted to rest her feet. Why did we have to stop having fun just because Jamal wasn’t looking?
I shook it off and reminded myself that’s what I had signed up for. The upside was that Trinity would get to see me dancing with Payton a lot and hopefully that would make her jealous as well.
We joined a group of Payton’s friends on the dance floor. Soon we were jumping up and down and laughing and having a good time. It was impossible not to feel happy while surrounded by so many energetic people. We were all buoyed by a powerful mixture of hormones, gorgeously attired people, and the spirit of a party.
I forgot about Jamal as I danced with Payton, eyed all the other pretty girls, and exchanged grins and fist bumps with the soccer guys. It turned out that Jamal, however, had not forgotten about me. After about 15 minutes of dancing I caught sight of Jamal striding angrily towards us, pushing people aside as he made his way through the crowd. He came to a stop directly in front of us.
Payton pretended not to notice him. Instead, she started laughing happily and grinding against me.
“Payton… Payton!” Jamal said loudly.
Payton finally looked over at him. “Oh, hey Jamal, how’re ya doing?” she asked nonchalantly. “Enjoying the dance?”
“Payton, I want you back,” Jamal said.
“Hey, we’re dancing here,” I said, ready for a fight. Payton, however, bumped me aside and planted herself directly in front of Jamal, hands firmly on her hips.
“Is that so?” she said. “And what happened to your other girl? Did she dump you? Is that why you’re here?”
“No, I just realized how much you mean to me,” Jamal said.
From the way Payton was staring at Jamal with mixed consternation and infatuation, it looked like it was game over for me. “Payton, do you want me to get lost?” I asked.
Payton looked back at me. “I’m sorry Nate,” she said. “We just have a lot we need to work out. I’m really sorry. Do you mind?”
“Not at all,” I said. In fact, there was one other girl who had just become free and I was dying to talk to her.
I wandered around the dance floor looking for Trinity but didn’t see her. She hadn’t left the dance, had she? Starting to panic, I went into the hallway to look for her.
There were crowds of people wandering around in the hallway talking and going back and forth from the bathroom to the dance floor. At first I didn’t see Trinity and I feared that she was gone. Just as I was about to give up the search, however, I spotted a figure leaning against the wall and staring out a window into the dark school courtyard. It was Trinity.
I approached slowly. Then, when I was a few feet away, I said “Hi. How’s it going?”
Trinity turned to look and me and I struggled to maintain my cool, confident demeanor. It was the first time all night I had seen her from head to toe and I was unprepared for just how stunning she would look. She was wearing a beautiful blue dress that perfectly matched her brilliant eyes. Her striking blond hair was pinned up, accenting her smooth skin and feminine, graceful neck. She wore high-heels that made her seem even taller so that she appeared to be a model or perhaps some sort of princess.
“Hi Nate,” she said. “Sorry, I’m just a bit down at the moment.”
“Well you can’t be any worse off than me,” I said. “I think I just got dumped.”
“Of course, I’m sorry about that,” Trinity said kindly. “I guess Jamal and Payton are just made for each other.”
“Maybe,” I said. “Or maybe Jamal is an A-hole.”
Trinity cracked a smile. Her teeth were so white they seemed to light up the entire hallway. “Thanks Nate,” she said. “You’re a really nice guy.”
“There are plenty of girls that would disagree with you,” I said. I folded my arms across my chest and leaned back against the window. Now why had I said that? It was unlike me. I should have been bragging myself up to her. For some reason, though, I couldn’t stand the idea of presenting a false front to Trinity. Maybe it was that I didn’t want her to fall for something I was n
ot. I wanted her to like the real me.
Trinity asked me about soccer and then we started talking. I got lost in the conversation. The topic changed from sports to life goals and aspirations. That’s when I discovered that Trinity wasn’t just beautiful and kind; she was also brilliant. She talked about how she wanted to become a doctor and spend time treating people in third-world countries. She explained how she had investigated programs she could be a part of during her undergraduate studies that would take her to South America and Africa and give her the opportunity to assist aid workers. Her life aspirations were so much more exciting than mine that I could do was listen attentively and ask questions. I was completely enthralled.
I would have gladly spent the entire evening listening to Trinity. I would have listened to her well into tomorrow and for as long as she would have let me. Unfortunately, at that moment I saw Alyssa walk into the hallway and she had tears streaming down her face.
Trinity followed my gaze. “Oh my,” she said with concern. “It looks like this dance is turning into a real disaster. Do you know her?”
“Yeah.” I had never been so reluctant to say that word in my life before.
“Go talk to her,” Trinity urged sympathetically. “I’ll be fine. Really. I told my girlfriends I would only be a few minutes anyway. I need to get back to them.”
I said goodbye to Trinity, cursed my luck, and then went to see how Alyssa was doing. I was turning into an emergency boyfriend problem fixer.
Alyssa saw me coming. She wiped a tear from her eye and cleared her throat. “Does this mean I’m going to get the famous Nate Caldwell treatment?” she asked wryly, managing a small smile. “I saw how much Olivia enjoyed that.”
“Only if you want it,” I joked. I went up to her and put my arm around her. “What’s going on?”
More boyfriend issues. It turned out that Alyssa and her boyfriend were still together but she was missing him and, since he was in Venezuela, it wasn’t a simple matter of getting a hold of a car to drive and visit him. She felt lonely having to come to the dance without him and her sadness had finally bubbled over when a slow dance came along and everyone else partnered up. I gave her what comfort I could and, by the time the dance was over, she seemed much better. She gave me a peck on the cheek as a reward but when I walked out of the school at the end of the night I was by myself. Worst of all, Payton had given me a ride to the dance because Sadie still had Aaron’s car. Now she was nowhere in sight. I looked around for my soccer teammates or any of my few friends but the only ones I saw were talking animatedly to their dates. I knew that interrupting to ask for a ride home would earn me their everlasting enmity. I sighed and resigned myself to my fate – trudging home along in my fancy suit.
I had taken about 10 steps when I suddenly heard someone say, “Nate. You look lost.” I looked over my shoulder and saw Matt Reagan driving down the road behind me, his passenger side window rolled down.
“Oh, hey,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
“I was one of the chaperones,” Matt said. “I had parking lot duty. You know, making sure no one tries to sneak alcohol in or crash the party. Are you, uh, walking to your car?”
I was walking away from the parking lots. There was no faking it now. “No,” I said. “I actually sort of got dumped and my date has the car.”
“Say no more,” Matt said. “I’ve been there. Hop in. I promise I won’t try to talk to you.”
I hesitated but no better option presented itself. “Okay. Thanks,” I said.
I got in the car and leaned back against the seat. I rubbed my forehead tiredly. “Have you?” I asked.
“Have I what?”
“Have you been there? Getting dumped by your date and having to walk home, I mean?” I asked him.
“Oh, that. No. I was actually a cool guy in high school,” Matt said.
I looked at him in surprise. Had he just slammed me? When I say his sly smile I shook my head. He was yanking my chain. “I see where David gets his annoying sense of humor from,” I said.
Matt laughed and we rolled out of the parking lot.
Matt was true to his word. He did not try to talk to me. He didn’t have the radio in the car on either and the silence was deafening. I wasn’t good with awkward silences. I started tapping my foot nervously and then decided I couldn’t take it anymore. “David was showing me a few wrestling moves,” I said. “He mentioned that you were a big wrestler back in the day.”
Matt nodded but didn’t say anything.
“I went out for ice cream with Faith the other day,” I said, trying again. “That was good.”
Matt nodded but still didn’t say anything.
I couldn’t figure it out. First he wanted to talk to me and now he wouldn’t even engage in a cursory conversation? Fine. Two could play at that game. I closed my mouth and resolved not to say another word until Matt spoke first.
That intention lasted all of about three minutes before my indignation overcame it. “You’re pretty quiet,” I said accusingly.
Matt looked at me with an arched eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t want to get into an in-depth conversation,” he said.
“I don’t,” I muttered. I was immediately annoyed by how petulant I sounded. “I just didn’t figure you would give up so easily.”
“Is that what you want?” Matt asked. “You want me to beg you to talk to me? I do want you to talk to me, Nate, but I’m not going to plead with you. You were right. You’re old enough now that you can decide whether you want to talk to me or not.”
Good. Except, it didn’t feel good at all. Deep down I didn’t really want the world to acknowledge my independence. What I wanted were people who loved me. I could manage on my own, though. In a way, I always had. I nodded to myself and stared into the distance.
“Can I just offer you one piece of advice?” Matt asked.
I hesitated and then said, “What?”
“Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want in life,” Matt said. “It’s easy at times to feel like it’s the world against you. You can even get to start thinking that you’re going to teach the world and everyone in it a lesson by being sad. That’s defeatist thinking and it’ll never help you turn your life around. Instead, figure out what you want and chase after it. Heck, if you do nothing else, at least ask for it. Sometimes you’ll get what you want and sometimes you won’t. You’ll never get it if you don’t ask for it, however. I don’t know what you want if you don’t ask me for it. You’re almost a grown man and heaven knows I have made some major mistakes by not being in your life. You don’t owe me anything. So it’s all up to you. If you tell me what you want is to be left alone, I’ll oblige you. If you want something else, just tell me. Do you know what I’m saying?”
I was quiet for a few seconds. “Yeah,” I said.
“Okay, good, that’s it, I’ll be quiet now if that’s what you want,” Matt said.
The hum of the engine filled the uncomfortable silence. A minute and then two and three passed as I wrestled with the question of what I really wanted. It wasn’t until we reached the last street before my house that I made up my mind.
I cleared my throat. “Hey,” I said. “I think McDonald’s is open all night. You don’t want to stop in and grab an ice cream cone, do you? It’s not far. I’ll buy.”
The glow of the instrument panel gave off just enough light for me to see a broad smile spread across Matt’s face. “Deal,” he said. “Except this round is on me.”
Chapter 40 – State Tournament
It's funny how fast time passes. It seems like just yesterday that I had been dumped at the homecoming dance and was wondering how to get home. Things got better after that. I was on good terms with both Jerry and my mom and for the first time in my life I felt like I had a real relationship with my father, Matt. He and I would go out for dinner or ice cream or even just sit and talk. I never dreamed of having a dad I could do that with. I was finally beginning to feel at peace in Lakeville.
Then the state soccer tournament arrived. My team had been doing fantastically well all year and we whooped Rosedale to earn a spot in the tournament. Coach Hayworth praised us and told us how we were the best team he had coached in a decade. I was convinced that we had a real shot at a championship. This was my moment to shine. Nothing could spoil it. Nothing, that was, except for El Diablo.
I was suddenly struck by an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was the kind of feeling that makes one want to gather a blanket tightly around oneself and find a place to hide. I didn’t know why I instinctively felt so threatened until I heard a sweet little voice behind me say, “Hi Nate.”
An icy knot formed in my chest. Reluctantly, I turned around to face El Diablo.
The little demon looked as deceptively harmless as ever. As I stared at her I felt that usual sense of arousal I got when I looked at her… or at almost any girl, really. I struggled to quell it. A guy could get really, really hurt by treating El Diablo as anything but the ruthless evildoer that she was.
“Big game today,” El Diablo said. Her smile didn’t waver, almost as though it were frozen in place.
“Yeah,” I said uncomfortably. “They’re just gonna get bigger as we advance, though. Look, I gotta go…”
“Oh, I don’t think you’re going to be advancing,” El Diablo said lightly. She reached up and fiddled with one of the buttons on my suit jacket. Coach Hayworth had insisted we wear suits on playoff days. He claimed that guys wearing suits tended to be on their best behavior, and he didn’t want us goofing around on a game day.
“Then you haven’t seen me play,” I retorted. “I’ll take the team all the way to the state championship. I’ll…”
“No, you won’t,” El Diablo said, interrupting me. “You haven’t been listening very well to me, Nate. It’s almost like you forgot that I own you. So, it seems that I am going to have to give you a little reminder. I’m ordering you to throw the game.”
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