by M. J. Austin
"That's not what I mean." I pinch the bridge of my nose. They are right. "OK, but you have to promise that if anything goes wrong, we bolt and come up with a new plan."
"I agree, Alec." Cass looks at him. "Your safety is just as important as hers."
"Fine." He stalks into the other room.
I am shocked by his sudden exit. "What is his problem?"
"I don't think he can handle rejection." Lyla snickers.
"What? I didn’t…" But I did, didn't I?
"He'll get over it."
"Yeah, maybe I should go talk to him."
"I don't think that would be wise tonight. You both need rest. Lyla, I think it's best if you go home and get some rest too."
She puffs out her lower lip. "OK. See you tomorrow."
Cass turns to me. "As for you, go on upstairs and get some rest."
I don't feel like sleeping after my nap in the car, but I agree.
~~~~
I lay in my bed, and I'm overwhelmed with every emotion known to man all at once. It's all I can do not to get sick. That's always my problem. When I feel, I really feel. The emotion winning at the moment is guilt. Guilt for not saving my parents, guilt for rejecting Alec, it seems every time I turn around I'm hurting someone I care about.
I need to look at this logically. The guilt about my parents, I can't fix. So I shove that aside. The guilt for Alec, well, that I can fix, but I don't know how. I don't even know how he feels about me. I can guess, but I've been wrong before. The way he looks at me sometimes like he only sees me, then it's gone like I'm just a job is confusing.
I want to talk to him about it, but I don't know how. What am I supposed to say? ‘Hey, by the way, when you get all dreamy eyed does it mean you like me?’ Not likely. I flop over onto my back and let out a frustrated sigh. I just want to turn my brain off.
"You're supposed to be resting." I am glad to see he’s not still mad at me.
My hand flies to my mouth to stifle a scream. Alec is smirking at me from my doorway. "What are you doing here? If Cass sees you, she's gonna freak."
"I can't sleep and figured I'd check up on you."
Dang, why did he have to be so charming sometimes? Sorting my feelings would be easier if he were a jerk. "Oh."
He strides right in as if that was an invitation and plops on my bed. I sit here for a minute running my fingers along the swirly pattern of the bedspread. The silence is almost tangible, and I can't stand it. We need to talk, but I don't know what to say.
He decides to start first. "So, what was up with you earlier?"
I wish he could have picked an easier question. I hesitate and then the dam inside me breaks. Everything comes spilling out. "Seriously?" I yell and work to keep my voice low, so I don't wake Cass. "You can't possibly be that naïve. You are all over the place. One minute you're making dreamy eyes at me the next you’re cold. I can't keep up, and it's frustrating because I can't tell how you feel about me or how I feel about you. I mean I think I like you but I can't be sure it's not the whole savior thing. On top of that, I don't want to like you, but every time you get remotely close to me my hands get sweaty, and my stomach does that stupid fluttery thing. Do you have any idea how hard it is to focus on what you're doing when your heart is tries beating its way out of your chest?"
"Yes." He says it like he's confessing a sin.
"Wait, what?"
"Yes I know how that feels. You can't possibly be that naïve." He grins, stealing my line. "From the moment I first saw you I've had that problem."
I let out a slow breath and try to calm my nerves before I speak. "Ok… Well, I'm not sure it's a good idea to go there. I mean, isn't that like a conflict of interest?"
"Not really, destiny can't be a conflict of interest."
"What?"
"Destiny. You know that thing that's supposed to control your future."
Wow, Lyla is right, he is self-aggrandizing. "I know what destiny is thank you very much. My question is directed at the fact that you assume we are destined to be together."
"I don't assume, I know. Think about it, I'm your guardian for life. How do you think another man would feel with you always having me around? Guardians get matched with their soulmates."
"That's not true, my father married my mother and she was mortal."
"And?"
"And he had no reason to be her guardian. So there is a hole in your theory."
"I hate to break it to you, but your dad did start off being your mother's guardian, you were assigned to him after that. He was the only guardian to have two charges." He speaks of my father as if he is his idol.
"Why was he assigned to her?"
"That I can't tell you, my guess is she knew something or performed a service for someone. Either way your father was her guardian as well as yours. Although I didn't envy the fact that he would outlive his soulmate. It's rare for a guardian to be assigned to a mortal, for obvious reasons."
"Wow, so you are immortal?"
"Yes, it’s kind of in the protect you your whole life clause."
"You said you were full-blooded human."
"I am, but immortality is given to those who become Terentia."
Knowing this doesn't help at all. In fact, it's the opposite. Sure now I know why I feel the way about him, but it means I don't have a choice.
"Stop over analyzing this, I would not have told you if you hadn't told me how you felt. I would've let you come to it in your own time." His smile is soft and sweet. Not a smirk but genuine caring.
"It doesn't change the fact that my feelings are decided by someone else." I flop backward and lay on my pillow staring at the ceiling.
"It's not quite like that. Yes, we are destined to be together, no destiny doesn't force you to feel the way you do. It's complicated but trust me, our feelings are our own."
"This is just too much."
"Which part?"
"All of it. I feel like my life went from normal to jacked up in the blink of an eye. I’m only human, yah know?"
"Actually…"
"Don’t even say it. It’s a figure of speech." I elbow him in the ribs, which makes him crack up.
"See you can’t even keep your hands off me." He waggles his eyebrows.
My face turns beet red, so there isn’t much for me to say.
"Come here." He spreads his arms out, and I just stare at him. "I’m not going to bite you, jeez, I just want to help you relax. I have honorable intentions, I promise." He crosses his heart. I roll my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder. "Shhh, just try to sleep, let your mind sort through everything." He rubs my hair on my temple like my mother would when I was sick. It’s comforting and within minutes, I fall asleep.
Chapter
27
"What is going on in here!" I jerk awake to see Cass’s furious face. I pull off of Alec, who is still snoring away. It’s bright outside my window. Crap why didn’t I think about Cass? She strides over and smacks him so hard across the face he falls off the bed.
"What the… Cass why did you smack me? What is it with you women and smacking me?" He rubs his red cheek.
"Because you deserve it! Why are you in her bed?"
"Woah, Woah, wait a minute. Nothing happened, I swear, Dell back me up here." He looks at me and for the first time I see fear in his eyes.
I bust out laughing so hard I double over.
"This isn’t funny young lady." I look at Cass’s serious face and enter a whole new round of laughing fits.
"I think she might be cracking up. Should we call a doctor or something?" Alec’s worried expression isn’t helping matters.
I work on taking deep breaths, In. Out. In. Out. "Alec, you should have seen your face. It was hysterical. You looked petrified."
"Do you mind explaining what is going on here?" Cass doesn’t look as serious as she did before, but I know she means business.
"It’s not what you think. I wasn’t able to sleep, and Alec came to check up on me."
"And?
"
"And what?"
"And how did he end up in your bed with you?"
"Oh that, well, we were just talking about," I hesitate. Does she know about our situation?
Alec steps in. "We were talking about our destiny and why she should stop beating herself up for finding me so wildly handsome." His cockiness is returning.
Cass shoots him a sharp look I didn’t think she was capable of making.
"Seriously Cass, nothing happened, I promise. We were really just talking and yes he explained the whole guardian soulmate thing. I didn’t take it so well so he tried to comfort me, and I fell asleep."
She relaxes and before she walks out she states calmly, "Just so the both of you know, that will never happen again."
"What. Just. Happened?" Alec’s shock returns after she closes the door.
"I’m pretty sure she just forbade us to sleep together." I start giggling again. What’s happening to me?
His face turns into a wide smile. "For now."
The statement shocks me into reality. "We should go down there; we have work to do."
Still grinning from ear to ear he agrees.
~~~~
Downstairs Cass is cooking breakfast. She isn’t scowling anymore, but her usual glow is gone. I wave Alec away into the front of the store so I can talk to Cass alone. She doesn’t look up, but she knows I’m here. "Cass?" No response. "Cass, don’t shut me out, will you tell me what is wrong?"
She lets out a long breath and her shoulders hunch. "I swore to your dad that I would protect you, and I can't even keep a boy out of your bed. What does that say about my abilities as your godparent?"
I did not see this coming. The woman of pure confidence and poise has self-doubt. I feel like I stepped into an alternate universe. "Cass it wasn’t like that."
"I know, I know."
"Besides, it’s not like I had just any boy in my bed. Apparently I had my soulmate with me. Did you know?"
It isn’t an accusation, but she’s wary as she answers me. "Yes, but Alec and I felt that if we told you it would persuade your emotions rather than you coming to them yourself."
"What should I do?"
"About Alec, nothing, he cares about you and you care about him. Don’t try to deny it, I have eyes, even if my extra senses didn’t help me out."
"You saw this happening?"
"Not exactly, I can sense emotions in the air. When you two are in the same room together I almost have to walk out when they get too heavy." She turns to me and points the spatula at my chest. "Just because you two are destined to be together does not give you the right to go gallivanting off into the sunset before you turn eighteen you know."
"Cass, I love you." It’s the first time I say it to her, and I honestly mean it. This woman took me into her home, looks out for me, and cares about me just as much as my parents did. She helps make all the craziness around me bearable. I pull her in for a tight hug.
She clears her throat. "You still can’t sleep with your boyfriend."
"He’s not my boyfriend."
"Yet."
I pull back, give her a mock glare and then smile. "I’m going to head up front and see what he has planned. Let me know when breakfast is done."
Once I hit the hallway, Cass says, "I love you too."
Chapter
28
The drive to the mountains is beautiful. All the trees changing colors from green to red to brown is breathtaking. If I wasn't riding in a car for ours and on my way to go steal a magical musical instrument from a mythological creature, this would be the perfect date. Not that Alec and I are on a date, just if we ever did go on a date this is what I would want it to be like. Something changed last night. I'm not sure what but ever since Alec was honest with me about this whole destiny stuff he seems at ease.
Reading my mind, he asks, "What are you thinking about?"
I decide that honesty is probably the best bet. "Your change in attitude since last night."
"Is that good or bad?"
"Why do ask that?"
He rubs his hand on the back of his neck. "I don’t know, I have zero experience with the female species and what little I have had recently, I seem to be getting slapped every time I turn around. I just need to know if that's like a regular thing or if I did something wrong."
"Oh, no girls always slap boys. It's a sign of affection." I smile wryly.
"I don't want that kind of affection."
I chuckle. "Mostly it's shock factor. When I woke up with you laying next to me, and I barely knew you, and you drugged me. It was a bit much. Same with Cass, I'm pretty sure she's never had children, and then she gets stuck with a sixteen-year-old who had a boy in her bed."
"Oh, guess I didn't think of it that way. But she knew this would happen."
This is too hard to explain to him, he's not a girl he just doesn't get it. "Anyways back to my original response, your attitude towards and around me has changed. You aren't as guarded, no pun intended, and you seem … relaxed."
"It felt nice to be honest with someone. When you are raised the way I was, you don't have people to talk to. Feelings are kept inside. It's nice to be able to let that all out."
I feel bad now, I know that isn't his intention, but I do. I’m upset with my dad for not preparing me, and Alec has been going through nothing but preparations. "Do you miss it?"
"Yes and no, I miss the same everyday routine, but I don't miss the seclusion. Out here I get to have things that are my own. I get to use my skills and be useful."
"Did you ever think about doing anything else when you grew up?"
"Not really, they instill your duties at such a young age you really don't get the chance. But I remember at some point I was considering being fireman so I can get on one of those fancy calendars." He waggles his eyebrows.
I can feel the blood try to rush to my face and I will it away. I can only imagine what he would look like dressed as a sexy fireman. "I wanted to be a princess when I was little. Guess you should be careful what you wish for, huh?"
I am still struggling with the fact that my parents are gods, I'm immortal, and I have this entire destiny mapped out for me. I don't even have time to think about what it is that I want out of life. Part of me still wants to run and hide away, even if it is for eternity. I went from worrying about not having a license at sixteen like all the other teenagers to having my life thrown in an upheaval overnight. What if I fail?
He senses my feeling of doom as he reassures me, "everything is going to work out, you'll see."
"How do you know?"
"I just do. We are almost there, let's go over the plan again."
We spend the next half hour going over possible strategies for dealing with the sirens. Strategic battle expert, I am not; so the conversation is mostly one sided.
Alec pulls off to the side of the road and pulls out a map. "Lyla and Cass think the sirens are located at this spring. It's about a quarter of a mile northeast of here. We should go on foot from here so we don’t give them advanced warning."
I nod and hop out of the car, grabbing the dart gun from the trunk. "I hope you are a good navigator because I have no idea where northeast is from here."
He grabs the blade Endeis gave him. "I thought woman didn't trust men with directions?"
"Shut up."
He stands there staring at me.
It's making me self-conscious. "What?"
"Well, I was gonna say, come on it's this way; but you told me to shut up, so I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do."
I slap his arm.
"Is that more affection?"
I wave my hand for him to lead the way. We leave the road and head to the group of trees to the left. There is only the crunching of leaves as we walk deeper and deeper into the forest.
~~~~
Alec is the first to speak, "Do you hear that?"
"No."
"Exactly, we are in a forest and it's dead silent. Not even birds, we must be getting clos
e."
Incredulous, I ask, "The lack of birds tells you that?"
"Animals are attuned to danger. They will steer clear of the sirens out of instinct."
"Oh, I guess that…"
"Help, somebody help me, please!" The voice comes out of nowhere.
"Is it a trap?"
Alec stiffens beside me. "I'm not sure."
"Please help me, somebody, my husband, oh god my husband."
Alec takes off in the direction of the voice. I sprint to catch up. Through the trees, is small clearing. A woman, not much older than eighteen, is holding her head in her hands. She is sobbing uncontrollably. She hears our approach and looks up. "Oh, thank god I thought I heard someone but I wasn't sure. My husband and I were camping for our honeymoon and he wandered off to use the bathroom. That was two hours ago. I can't find him."
Alec goes straight into warrior mode, "OK, OK, calm down. Which direction did he go?"
Hang on, something doesn't feel right. I can't see this woman, who looks like she walked out of a magazine, camping out here. I look around, and I realize what's bugging me. There's no camping gear. The clearing is empty. I turn to Alec. "She's lying." Shock crosses her face.
"Excuse me!"
"Dell, her husband could have gotten lured by.. Yah know… So we have to go find him and help him."
I pull him to the side and whisper, "Alec, trust me, please, something is not right here. If they were camping, where is there gear?"
He looks around. "I dunno, maybe they weren't camping here, she just went to look for him and ended up here." Out of the corner of my eye I see her twirling her hair. Definitely something off about her demeanor. "Look I'm going to help her, either follow me and help or go back to the car."
He looks at me with disgust, and I step back. "Listen to me she is a siren, I know it."
"Whatever. You're just jealous I want to help another girl. I'm not your lap dog you know." He loops his arm through the woman's and strides off deeper into the woods. I run to him and try pulling on his arms to keep him from going any further. He easily shrugs out of my grip. "Just get over it, I don’t want you anymore."
I try to grab him again, but he dodges it, leaving me standing there in the wake of his hurtful comments. The woman looks over her shoulder, flicks two fingers and I go flying. My head hits a boulder with a painful crack, and everything goes blank.