He gives me the same I think you might be slow or crazy smile from the hospital. “I said, I talked to Ryan today and he sounded better. Are you going to see him after school?”
“Yes. You?"
“Well, we have practice, but coach is going to let us out early so we can make it before visiting hours are over. I know a lot of the team wants to head down to see him.”
“Cool. Then, I’ll see you there.” I have to get out of here before I turn an even brighter shade of red. It’s starting to feel really awkward; it’s never been awkward with Todd before, what is going on? I quickly turn to walk away. I still need to go to my locker and I am going to be so late for class. I start to run and, as I get close, I can see Sid waiting for me.
“Where have you been?” Sidney is clearly irritated.
“Sorry. I kind of got sucked into listening to this conversation these girls were having and lost track of time.” I decide to leave out my sort of odd encounter with Todd. I’m still trying to figure out what I am feeling, so I’m certainly not going to share my feelings with his sister.
“You are late because you were eavesdropping?” She shakes her head and rolls her eyes in her classic Sid move. If she has a signature move, that is it; the simultaneous headshake and eye roll.
“Yes. You have no idea. I overheard these girls talking about Ryan, so it caught my attention, and then they started saying how bad they felt for Gretchen!” I do my best over-exaggerated imitation, “Oh, poor Gretchen. She was crying in homeroom.”
“POOR GRETCHEN?” Now she is just as angry as me. As my best friend, she—of course—completely shares my dislike and disapproval of Gretchen. “Okay, I get why you were late, but if I get detention because we’re late to Spanish, you owe me big time.”
“We still have a few minutes. Give me a break. My brother did just have surgery,” I say with a smile.
Sid laughs. She totally gets me. There is never a need to explain what we mean; we know each other inside and out. “But maybe we should run, just in case.” I mentally groan because I know she isn’t joking.
I slam my locker shut and we start sprinting to class. We are still a full hallway away when the late bell rings, which means a guaranteed detention. I can’t even look in her direction. “Sorry, Sid."
She stops running and tries to catch her breath. “Well, now that we’re late, we should make the most of it!” Just as she says that, Brian is walking toward us without a care in the world. When you are the school quarterback it’s almost as if the rules for the rest of the school don’t apply to you and he knows it.
“Hey, Ladies! You’re late.”
“What are you, the hall monitor?” Sid quickly retorts.
Sid and Brian have this love-hate relationship and it’s always been that way. She has grown up with him exactly like I have, but I think she sees past his “cool status” more than most. You see, Brian is a little bit of an ass when it comes to girls. I think—deep down—he's got a big heart because he’s really good to his friends. However, when it comes to girls, well, let’s just say he’s not very monogamous. The good part is that he’s at least honest about it; it isn’t like he claims to be good boyfriend material. In fact, he’s pretty upfront about not wanting a girlfriend, yet for some reason, girls still want to be with him. I would say it’s his quarterback status, but I think it’s more than that. Of course, being the quarterback of a winning team doesn’t hurt, but he also has this thing about him—this confidence—that people are drawn to.
“Nice one, Sid, but only one of us is going to get a detention today.” He smiles as he adjusts his letterman jacket. “Who’s laughing now?”
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not just his confidence; Brian is a good-looking guy. He’s your typical jock, which is exactly what he wants to be. He has short, sandy blonde hair that he’s worn with a little bit of a gelled spike in the front for as long as I can remember. To top it off, he has really kind, brown eyes. If he wanted to, he could be great boyfriend material to any one of the girls he’s dated; he just has no interest.
“We’ll see,” Sid responds.
Unfortunately, Brian is right. Well, at least about us getting a detention. We are less than five minutes late, but Senora Gonzales is having none of the excuses. I even try pulling a page from Gretchen’s book and use Ryan’s surgery; it should be good for something! Once again, Gretchen is not helpful. I only have one class with Sid, and I’m sure—right now—she is wishing she didn’t have any with me since this is all my fault. Shane is in this class, too, and he gives us this look of great joy as soon as we walk in; he is never going to let this go. Shane is always the one getting in trouble so it gives him tremendous pleasure to have something to hold over Sid and me. Luckily, Spanish is our last class of the day. As we walk toward our lockers, Shane can’t stop laughing.
“So I guess we know what you’ll both be doing tomorrow afternoon.”
“Well, at least we’ll be together. What will you be doing? I mean without us, you have no life.” I‘m already upset and completely not in the mood for Shane’s sarcasm.
“Now who wishes they had detention!” Sid jumps in.
“Actually, I have plans anyway." Shane is full of unusual confidence.
Once I knew Ryan was going to be fine last night, I texted Shane to tell him what happened. Normally he’s the first person I’d go to with something like that; I love Sid, but she tends to overreact. Shane has always been incredibly strong, he can handle anything. Since Roger’s accident, though, he’s been dealing with enough; I didn’t want to burden him with anything else to worry about.
“What plans?” Sid and I ask at the same time.
“I can’t tell you.”
“Ooooohhh, do these plans involve a girl?” I ask. It is probably a long shot because Shane has never really been interested in girls, other than Sid and me, which has always been strictly as friends.
“NO. But thanks for that, Ash!”
“Do you really think we’re going to give up that easily?” I quickly push back, but just as we are getting into it, Gretchen walks up; I didn’t even see her coming. Her timing is perfect, as usual.
“Hi, Ashley!” Gretchen smiles her typical, huge, cheerleader smile.
I’m pretty sure she knows I’m not a fan, but she is always so nice and bubbly; it’s hard not to be sort of nice back. “Hi, Gretchen.”
“Do you need a ride to the hospital? I'm going to head over there now and thought maybe we could go together.”
This sounds like the worst idea in the history of ideas. “Don’t you have cheerleading practice?”
“Yeah, well, I told Coach Jones that I couldn’t go today. There’s no way I can concentrate and I don’t want to miss a second of visiting hours.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Sid’s headshake and eye roll, and I try not to laugh. I have no idea what exactly you need to “concentrate” on for cheerleading practice, but whatever, I have to get out of this. I can’t think of an excuse… and then, out of nowhere, Todd appears; just like a knight in shining armor. Well, in this case, shining gold pants. WOW! Boys look so cute in their football gear.
“Hey, guys. Coach is cutting practice really short so the guys can make visiting hours, I can take you home if you want, Sid?”
Sid quickly glances over at me. She knows I’d pick anything in the world over riding to the hospital with Gretchen. “Actually, remember we were all going to ride to the hospital with you when you’re done with practice.” Sid widens her eyes as if she is continuing the conversation with her brother nonverbally.
He knits his eyebrows with confusion, but he catches on fast. “Okay, cool.” He looks at Sid for reassurance that he is going in the right direction. “Maybe you guys can check out practice while you wait?”
We all answer at the same time; I say “yes” while both Sid and Shane say “no“. As soon as the words have left our mouths, their heads whip over and they glare at me.
Gretchen jumps in, “O
kay, if you have a ride, then I’m going to go over now. I really want to make the most of visiting hours, especially if the team is heading over after practice. See you guys there.” She pivots on her heel and adjusts her Louis Vuitton tote as she walks down the hall.
As soon as she is out of ear shot, I can’t help but grin, “Thank you, you saved me a long, awkward car ride. I totally owe you guys!”
“You’re right; and that’s twice now.” Sid gives me a mocking smile.
“Twice?” Todd asks with a laugh.
“Yeah, thanks to Ash, we got detention for being late to Spanish.”
“Oh, man, Mom and Dad are going to love that one.” He is oozing with sarcasm. “Speaking of late, I gotta go or Coach is gonna kill me. See you guys over there,” he says with a wink as he runs off.
For the first time ever, I notice how cute Todd’s butt looks in his tight, gold football pants. I know I should look away, but I can’t seem to find the will to do it.
“Um, hello, earth to Ashley,” Shane interrupts. Damn him. “Are you okay? You seem distracted.”
“Uh, yeah, I’m fine.” Luckily, he doesn’t notice I’m staring at Todd’s cute, round butt. It’s official, I definitely agree with the “God Todd” title. Sid is so lucky that she gets to live with him.
“You must really be taking this Ryan thing hard,” Shane says, justifying my behavior as he wraps his arm around me and squeezes my shoulder.
This is the third time in the last twenty-four hours that I have been caught off guard while staring at Todd. This has to stop! “Um, yeah, I think I am,” I say, thankful for the excuse. There’s got to be some sort of bad karma for pretending you are more upset than you really are after your one and only brother has emergency surgery. I’ve already been given detention so that’s something. Hopefully, whatever else is coming isn’t much worse.
Sid and Shane win so we don’t go over to the field to watch football practice. Instead, I have to go to The Quad and listen to Shane drone on and on about my detention. At least it’s making him happy. He’s had it pretty rough lately.
After Roger’s accident, his parents separated and now they’re going through a nasty divorce. Yet, for some reason, they thought it was a good idea to still live in the same house.
Shane is all alone and he’s caught in the middle of their drama. So if a small thing like Sid and I being sentenced to a horrible afternoon tomorrow makes him happy, I guess I can go with it. Out of the three of us, Shane is usually the one getting detention. He’s always been a good student, but I think this past year has hit him harder than he’ll ever admit and he’ll do anything to avoid going home.
All my life I’ve been forced to watch Ryan play sports, while Todd and Brian are always there, I never really noticed or cared. It’s just my brother and his friends doing something I have zero interest in. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been forced to go? My parents feel like sports time is family time. I’d prefer to keep sports time separate from family time, very separate. However, today—more than anything—I want to go to football practice.
Yesterday, anything would have been better than going to the hot, sticky field to watch football practice, yet today, everything has changed. When I think about Todd—who has to be the only human on earth who could look cute in those gold spandex pants—my heart starts to pound harder and my stomach starts doing summersaults, however, I can’t say anything to Sid or Shane. Instead, I have to pretend that everything is the same as yesterday and I am perfectly happy killing time at The Quad, which is the central, social gathering place for the élite juniors and seniors. It's a long, narrow, brick hallway with arch cutouts down the length of the entire hall. After school, it's totally open to anyone; during school, you need to be of a certain social status of which we are not members. My brother, Todd and Brian are definitely members. Even Gretchen has a permanent pass to The Quad. They are all popular juniors, but as freshman, it is pretty much forbidden. You can go, but it is like social suicide no matter who you are related to. It is the unspoken rule; freshman are not allowed and we are definitely freshman.
Chapter 3: Visit
Riding over to the hospital with Todd in his old, beat up, beige Volvo is both incredible and horrible. It is incredible because I am actually in his car. With him. Alone. Ok, Sid and Shane are there, too, but it feels like we are alone in my mind. And it is horrible because I have to try my best to act like nothing is different. Todd is just my best friend’s brother and my brother's best friend. Nothing else. I try my best to remember how I acted around him yesterday, before my stomach started doing flips every time I see him. Did I usually sit in the back seat? Because I really want to sit in the front. Did I laugh at his stupid jokes? Would I have told him he sort of smells because he skipped the shower after practice so we can get to the hospital before the rest of the team? Instead, I find myself deeply inhaling because the smell of Todd’s sweaty skin mixed with the scent of fresh cut grass from practice is amazing!
Walking through the hospital's electric doors, and seeing the familiar speckled linoleum floor and stark white walls of the waiting room, is a completely different experience today than yesterday. Today, I know Ryan is going to be fine and coming home soon. As long as he’s fine I’ll be ok if he stays here for a few more days so I don’t have to share the TV and watch Sports Center. I mean, if you watch the game live, why do you need to hear people talk about it again? That I’ll never understand. However, if he comes home, he will have to go back to school, so there is an upside. If I have to go, so should he. My parents are strict about missing school; you pretty much have to have emergency surgery to get out of it.
As we approach my brother’s room, we hear Gretchen talking and we all instinctively stop and step back. She is sitting in the chair next to his bed and I can see they are holding hands.
"I know, but you really scared me last night. I missed you so much today at school. I walked by your locker between every period. I couldn’t wait to see you.” Gretchen's voice sounds shaky.
"Thanks, Gretch. You didn’t need to worry. Come on, I'm tough. I can take on a measly little appendix. I mean it's an organ you don't even need. Now, if it was a lung or something—." He laughs and then winces in pain.
"Ryan,” she says in a disapproving tone. This clearly isn't the first time this has happened during her visit.
"What? I can't help it if I'm funny."
"And cute." Gretchen giggles and leans in to kiss him.
Seriously? I've heard just about enough. "I can't take any more of this," I whisper to the rest of them. "I'm going in." I push through the doorway to make an exaggerated entrance. "Hi!" I try to interrupt. "Oh Gretchen, you're still here?"
She looks up at me in shock; her face an instant question of why wouldn't she be here. Ryan tries to sit up a little straighter in bed, but I can tell he is still in pain. "Hi, guys. What a great surprise; I didn't realize you were all going to come. I mean, Ash is obligated, but..."
It’s good to see him not hooked up to any extra tubes or machines. "Ha. Ha. Very funny. I was obligated to be here yesterday because I thought you were dying. I had plenty of other things I could be doing today."
Ryan doesn’t miss a beat, “Thanks so much, Ash Bug, I’ll remember that.” UGH. Why did he call me "Ash Bug" in front of Todd? How embarrassing. I feel my face start to flush red again. Why does this keep happening?
Todd fist bumps Ryan in their usual greeting; boys are so odd. “Ryan you’re looking a lot better than yesterday. It’s good to see you, man. All the guys on the team are heading over. Coach let us out early to make visiting hours, so everyone is very grateful to your appendix.”
Ryan laughs and then winces. He tries to cover it, but we all notice and promptly ignore it, which is exactly what he would want us to do; my brother has never been one for attention or doting. “Glad my appendix could help.” He says with a smile, then he looks over at Shane who is standing in the corner of the room. I‘ve been so caught up in Todd I didn’
t even think about how hard this might be for Shane.
The last time Shane was in a hospital was when he had to fly to Colorado with his parents to identify Roger’s body. Luckily Shane didn’t actually have to go in to see him but this still had to bring up a lot of bad memories.
“How’s it going, Shane? Long time, no see.” My brother has always really liked Shane. Since Roger’s accident, he has kind of taken it upon himself to take Shane under his wing.
“I’m good. Little Ash Bug here really helped make my day.” Leave it to Shane to not let that one go. There are so many reasons I want to kill him:
1.) "Ash Bug"—AGAIN. Really?
2.) Does he have to bring up my detention? I know that’s where he’s going with his comment and now my parents are definitely going to find out.
“Oh really? What happened?” My brother asks, suddenly more interested. Even Gretchen sits up straighter to listen.
"Well let’s just say Ash and Sid won’t be coming to visiting hours tomorrow afternoon."
Suddenly it sounds like there is a parade of feet in the hallway. Over twenty guys from the football team walk through Ryan's hospital room door right in time to distract him from Shane's confessional. This is perfect timing for once in my life.
The room is overflowing with people, and if I have to hear Ryan's stupid "glad my appendix could help you out" joke one more time, I am going to kill myself. My brother seems to have single-handedly helped people get out of pop quizzes, missing homework and football practice while I still got stuck with detention! At one point, my eyes connect with Ryan's and he mouths, "I didn't forget.”
How is that possible? Shouldn't he have a foggy, drug-induced memory? Just then, a nurse walks into his room, her attention is glued to her clipboard. When she finally looks up, her eyes grow to twice their size. I'm not sure she's ever seen this many visitors in one room at the same time.
Accidental Crush Page 2