by C. A. Harms
I notice Miguel waving me over toward the corner of the room. He was surrounded by a few of the teenage girls as they watched him in awe. Miguel was a bit of a charmer and he knew it, he played it off very well. He had that edge that most young girls fawned over. That, I know you’re there but I’m unaffected, edge. Which in turn only made the girls try harder to gain his attention.
I began moving in his direction and paused just as I reach the end of the sofa. “Did you need something?” I ask as I look over the small group around him.
“He bet us he could beat you in a game of bowling,” Fiona says as she leans back against the couch cushions.
“Come Ms. B,” Miguel shoots me that million dollar smile I’m sure makes all the younger girls swoon. He was definitely gonna break some hearts over the years I’m sure. “You and me,” he says holding out the Wii stick.
“Okay fine,” I say taking it from him. “But if I win you have gym duty during the younger kids’ time slot for the next two weeks.”
He thought about it for a minute. “Fine,” he agrees as he stands and slides over to make room for me.
Gym duty meant he would not only have to entertain the younger kids during their hour and a half, but he would to be responsible for cleaning up the equipment and putting it away.
As the game began, we started to form a crowd around us. Both younger and older kids moved in creating fan groups for each of us. Of course his consisted of all the girls that drooled over him and mine was formed by the remaining. Chants for each of us were mixed with laughter and words of encouragement. It was the first time all day I felt relaxed. It was also the moment I understood that I was spending the majority of my time maintaining the office instead of the things I loved. I wanted to interact with the kids, be there for them and form bonds. I wanted to be the person they came to when they needed a friend to talk to.
The entire point of taking on this job wasting able to reach the kids on a level that most had a hard time accomplishing.
Sometimes the kids used the youth center as a place to escape from the life they were forced to live at home. Loneliness of being an only child, or simply gaining freedom from parents that forgot they were there because they were too busy fighting and arguing. This was a place a solitude for these kids and I was missing out on the best part of my job.
“You are so going down,” I say with a laugh as I throw my hands up in the air celebrating yet another strike. “How does it feel losing to a girl?” I taunted Miguel causing him to chuckle.
“Games not over yet Ms. B.”
I watch as he holds out the controller, concentrating on the screen. When the pins are reset he positions himself just right and squints his eyes and he pulls back his arm and mimics the movements of throwing a bowling ball.
Silence settles in over the room as each person around us watches the screen. I swear you could have heard a pin drop. The ball makes contact and the pins split as the fall to the sides. The two outer ones begin to wobble and Miguel throws his hands up in the air, “Oh yeah,” he belts out. The cocky teenager begin to celebrate a strike but I remain in the same spot watching the television.
Those same two pins continue to wobble before suddenly righting themselves once more. Laughter spills out from the kids causing Miguel to spin around and face the TV. “No way,” he complains, “they were down.”
Disbelief covers his features as he looks from me to the screen once more.
“I would wear comfortable shoes,” I tell him with a smirk, “those little ones are crazy when gym time hits. You’ll be running around and those slip on’s aren't gonna cut it.”
He narrows his eyes and for a moment I thought he was gonna be one of those poor sports. The kind of guys that couldn't accept defeat, and I suddenly felt sorry for him. I’d always hated those type of guys growing up, the wussy type that pouted when things didn't go their way. Then he surprises me.
“You’re all right Ms. B,” he says with a smile. “No wonder that guy of yours likes you so much.”
“You’re all right too,” I tell him as I hold out the controller to him. “What do you say we share gym duty?”
“Works for me,” he says with a chuckle. “But I bet I can beat you in a game of one on one.”
I walk away shaking my head. When will the boy learn not to doubt me?
Chapter Nineteen
BEN
“Your brothers are Menaces,” my mother said with a laugh. “I figured by now they’d be out on their own living it up as two bachelors. You know the clubs, parties and women, but no, they choose to live here and drive me nuts.”
“Maybe you should pack their things and set them on the front porch,” I tell her. “Maybe they’ll get the hint.”
“I can't get that lucky.”
My mother was a pistol, always saying whatever it was always on her mind, regardless of who may hear it. She was barely five foot tall, but her attitude packed one hell of a punch.
“When is the son I raised right coming home for a visit?” She asks.
She brings my impending visit up every single time we talk and each time I feel guilty for staying away. It was always easier to avoid the anger of my past if I stayed away from Boston. Holly was a thing of the past and going home meant drudging up old wounds I’d prefer to forget.
“You can't stay away forever,” she adds as if she knows exactly what was running through my mind. “You’re better off without the likes of that girl anyway. I never thought she was worthy of my son.”
“Biased,” I say with a laugh.
“No, I just know my son’s worth, and it is so much more than what that girl ever had to offer.”
It wasn't so much that I felt as if seeing her would bring back old feelings, I knew those were gone. They were gone long ago. It was the anger, and the betrayal I dreaded. I had never truly faced that part of the situation.
“I’d like to meet this Liz person I’ve been hearing about from your father.” At the mention of Liz I couldn't help but feel slightly less irritable. “From the sounds of it you are smitten.”
I’ll admit I’ve shared my struggles to break down Liz numerous times with my father during our many conversations. He’d laughed each time as if he’d known firsthand the situation I faced. I’m sure my mother had given him a run for his money during their younger days. I know she challenges him now and he smiles each time, appearing to be unaffected by her efforts.
“She keeps me on my toes,” I tell her choosing to leave it at that.
“Talk to this girl of yours and tell her your mother wants to meet her. I think I could offer her some useful information, after all I know you best.”
“Yeah,” I said leaning forward and resting my elbows on the table as I hold the phone to my ear. “Not so sure I want you offering her any useful tips.” I chuckled picturing my mother sharing with Elizabeth all the ways she’d attempted to torture my father over the weekend. “She challenges me enough already,” I assure her which only seems to please her more.
“Well, good, that keeps things interesting,” I can hear the smile I know is written on her face. “But I’d still like to meet Liz.”
“I’ll see what I can do,” I tell her thinking that maybe having Liz by my side as I revisit old memories may make it easier to face.
A knock on the door gains my attention and for a moment I felt a rush of excitement run through me. Only it faded fast when I see the shadow on the other side is not small and petite but large and broad.
It was late in the afternoon and I had only been home for less than thirty minutes as I impatiently waiting for my girl to get down at work.
“I’m gonna let you go mom, I got someone knocking at my door.” I stand up from the table and begin moving toward that direction. “I’ll see what I can do though about setting up a visit.”
“You better,” she states, “or I’ll be forced to send your brothers to live with you for a month for punishment.” She laughs when I don’t respond. “Exactly, no o
ne wants that.”
We say our goodbyes and I open the front door just as another knock begins to find Ryker standing on the other side. Victoria stood next to him wearing one of those frilly dresses she always wears. Upon her head a sparkly crown and a matching wand in her hand.
“I need a favor,” Ryker said regaining my attention. “I need you to keep Tori for a couple hours while I take Nicole in for her appointment.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he assures me. “Just a regular visit, but someone has been getting a little too curious about how things work and asking a lot of questions.”
I give him a curious look.
“As in how things work, how,” he mouths the word babies, “are made and stuff.”
This makes me chuckle as I picture little Tori giving both Ryker and Nicole the third degree on how her little brother or sister got in her mommy’s tummy.
“Not cool dude,” Ryker says in a low tone, “she is too young for that conversation. Maybe when she’s eighteen.” He pauses for a minute as if deep in thought. “Nope not even then.”
I look down at Tori as she swings her wand from side to side, tapping it in the air as if granting some magical wish just before smiling brightly. I had to agree, a conversation about the birds and the bees would be hard as fuck with a young child. Especially if that child was your own and a girl. Maybe it was wrong but a son I’d think would be easier to have those types of conversations with. But this sweet little girl had not only Ryker on guard but me too. I felt sorry for any little punk that thought messing with Tori was a good idea.
“So can you keep Miss Curiosity for a couple hours?” Ryker asked again. “Keep both me and Nicole from having a panic attack when she starts the third degree.”
I chuckled as I knelt down in front of Victoria. “What do you say girl, wanna hang with Uncle Ben for a few hours?”
She didn't respond with words but they way she jumped into my arms and threshed arms around my neck was answer enough.
“Thanks man,” Ryker said with relief. “Last time we had to distract with sweets and a new doll to get out of an uncomfortable situation. This helps more than you know.”
I tried not to laugh as he hurried away looking lighter and less tense than he had only moments ago.
I stood up, taking the little lady with me and moved inside, closing the door behind me. “You like cookies, right?”
I couldn't keep a straight face when her eyes grew wide and she practically glowed with excitement. “Yes,” she squealed and prior to Tori a pitch that high would have gone right through me making cringe. This little princess had taken a guy that never truly had a clue on how to handle a little girl and taught me patience. It no longer fazed me when she screamed and squealed with a tone that you’d think would crack glass.
“I’m gonna teach you hoot bake,” I said.
“Nana May lets me help her bake.”
May Berfield was the only grandma figure Victoria had and I know she loved this little girl as if she truly was her own. I imagine for a moment how she would love to have some grandchildren of her own and in turn that made my heart race with the possibilities of a long ongoing future with Liz. It was something I wanted, the wife, kids and a big home we filled with havoc.
Elizabeth may pretend that she herself doesn't want any child, but I knew different. No woman that adores children the way Liz does, doesn't want to someday be a mother herself. She just had that fear inside of her that I’d continue diminishing until it disappeared.
Chapter Twenty
LIZ
“What’s all this?” I asked as I walked into Ben’s apartment to find Victoria and Ben in his kitchen. I had knocked various times before deciding to enter on my own. The aroma hit me instantly and my stomach growled as I followed the sweet scent.
Ben looked up with a smile on his face and offered me a wink, allowing Tori to answer me.
“Cookies,” she states proudly as she spooned a glob of dough and let it drop to the cookie sheet in front of her. “Lots, and lots of cookies,” she added her eyes growing wide with excitement.
She wasn't joking, there were lots and lots. As in dozens scattered throughout the countertop on cooling racks. There were even containers filled with those I’m assuming were cooled enough to pack away.
“I see that pumpkin, but why so many?” I ask as I round the counter and step in closer to the two of them.
“Uncle Ben said that we should make extra for the kids at your work,” she explains as she continues to add small balls of dough to the pan. “He said they would love them.”
Uncle Ben sounded so sweet coming from her. Tori had a way of making any adult feel awed. That smile of hers could brighten anyone’s day.
I look passed her and find Ben watching me close, and it made my heart beat rapidly. How one simple look from a man could make even reservation I have ever felt disappear almost instantly I will never truly understand.
“Uncle Ben is right,” I said not taking my eyes from his.
“I usually am,” he adds with a smirk only making me laugh.
“Is that so?”
“I was right about you,” he states moving around Tori and stepping up behind me. I turned slightly into his body and looked up just as he tilts his head downward. “I knew if I gave you time, you’d realize how good we are together. I knew you’d be worth the battle.”
I could feel the heat rising in my neck caused by the smoldering look he was offering me. I was also aware of the small person only inches away. Though she was occupied with the cookies, she was still there, which made it next to impossible for me to react the way my body wanted to.
“Still so sure,” I say instead of reacting. Thoughts of climbing him like a tree as he carries me off to the bedroom to perform a long list of naughty things racing through my mind. By the way his eyes still roamed over my face and the way he held me close, I knew he was most likely having a few dirty thoughts of his own.
“I know,” he whispered as his lips brush over mine. “Later I’ll remind you of just how good.”
When he pulled back without actually giving me a kiss and moved away toward the oven, a feeling of disappointment hit me. The man was a tease.
“Now, stop distracting me,” he adds playfully as he reaches in the oven to remove a fresh batch of baked chocolate chip cookies. “My little woman here and I have plans.”
“I see that,” I say ignoring the heat pooling low in my stomach. “What triggered this little bake off you two have going on anyway?”
“Mommy and daddy are at the hospital,” Tori responds nonchalantly making my eyes grow wide with worry.
“The doctor,” Ben corrects obviously aware of my growing concern. “A regular visit and Ryker says someone,” he holds his hand above Tori’s head where she can’t see, pointing toward her, “is asking too many questions.”
“Oh,” I mouthed. Unable to fight the smile I that was pulling at my lips imagining the questions little miss curious must be asking.
“My girl here would rather bake cookies then go off to some stuffy doctor’s office anyway,” Ben says quickly changing the subject.
“What amazes me is that you know how to bake cookies.”
“I’m full of surprises,” He adds with a wink as he moves around the small kitchen with ease.
Each day I got another little piece of this man, and each day he seemed to burrow his way into my heart a little deeper.
He wasn't what I had imagined from the beginning. The cocky soldier that swooped in, rocked my night and moved on. There was so much more to Ben, so much hidden beneath that strong rough exterior.
The guy that stood before me didn't hesitate to spend the afternoon baking with a little girl that wasn’t his own. He didn’t flinch when she offered him a pink frilly apron she obviously brought from home, but owned it and wore it proudly.
“Can I help?” I ask as I step up next to Tori and lean over on the counter getting closer to her.
“You can give the pan to Uncle Ben when I have it ready.”
It truly was adorable how grown up she was acting as she took extra care in adding the same amount of dough to each uncooked cookie. As I quietly watched I felt Ben’s hand glide over my lower back, just before he gripped my hip.
Standing up once more, I leaned my body against his and felt his chest against my back. He wasted no time allowing his hand to continue around me, coming to rest over my stomach. The way he held me firmly against him, kissing the skin exposed at the base of my neck. “Missed you,” he confessed hugging my body to his.
I never thought I’d want to hear those things from a man, but I was wrong.
“Missed you,” I say in return arching my neck to look back over my shoulder. The smile that covered his lips just before he presses them to mine sent chills through me. It was pointless to fight this attachment inside me, I needed this man, more and more each day. But more importantly I wanted him.
Ben had me breaking all the rules I had make for myself and that nervous energy I had felt inside each time has slowly began to fade. I was being reckless with my heart but nothing had ever felt so good.
Chapter Twenty One
BEN
I woke up to the sound of the shower running, and the soft hum of her voice as she sang the words of some random song. For a moment I lay still just listening as both soothe me. I’d noticed since we returned home after Luke’s funeral that something about her changed. She stopped fighting me when I said sweet things, or showed her affection and in turn gave it back without hesitation.