Nobody's Lady

by Annabelle Anders

****

  After Glenda had breathlessly accepted Mr. Spencer’s marriage proposal, over the next couple of weeks, the mood in Lady Eleanor’s household turned decidedly festive. Lady Eleanor had, in fact, invited her personal solicitor to explain the contracts to the two women. The Ravensdales had included a generous competence for Lilly of one thousand pounds per year! Lilly had been about to object, saying it was too much, but Lady Eleanor’s scowl deterred her. Upon later consideration, Lilly decided, if she was carrying, it would be best to have additional funds to provide for her child. Lilly’s heart jumped at the thought. She expected her courses any day now and awoke each morning with dread.

  As of yet nothing had occurred.

  A part of her was terrified at the thought of going through confinement, childbirth, and motherhood alone. Another part of her embraced the possibility wholeheartedly. Not knowing either way, at this point, was excruciating.

  Despite the numerous events the ladies had been attending, Lilly had found no opportunity to see, let alone, speak with Michael. He’d made very short appearances socially, if at all.

  But tonight, she knew, he would be present.

  Tonight, the Earl of Ravensdale had insisted upon holding a ball so he could announce the betrothal of his youngest son to Miss Glenda Beauchamp. The family had been longtime friends with Aunt Eleanor and were quite pleased with the match. Glenda was, after all, the daughter of a baron. She was also a very pleasant young lady with whom their son had found love.

  Michael would most certainly be in attendance. He was practically one of the family, after all.

  ****

  Michael had been busy himself.

  Throughout the fortnight, he’d successfully obtained promises for two of the three votes needed. He’d also met with an American industrialist promoting machinery which could decrease the labor required for both planting and reaping. Interchangeable parts for the machinery allowed for the advancements to become more practical for common use. Michael was considering investing in factories which would build some of the tools. He could then provide for more productive harvests, more jobs for his tenants, and more income for the duchy to reinvest on other properties.

  The idea required a great deal more examination, but upon initial review, serious consideration was merited.

  Keeping busy during his waking hours had prevented him from dwelling upon his situation with Lilly.

  They were yet short one vote.

  The third vote, Danbury had surmised, might well be more difficult than all of the others before. For they had only two possibilities, lords Oliver and Newbold. Both of whom professed to be staunch supporters of the present language and requirements of the Corn Laws. If not for a conversation they had both had with Ravensdale over the wintertime where each had admitted to some reservations, Michael would not have considered them at all. As it was, they were holding their positions stubbornly.

  Michael had, of course, been privy to the details of Joseph’s betrothal to Miss Glenda Beauchamp. And at the last dinner he’d attended at the Ravensdales, Lady Natalie reminded him that he must be on hand for the engagement ball.

  Following it, all preparations henceforth would be focused upon Michael and Natalie’s prewedding ball and the wedding ceremony which was to be held at St. George’s Cathedral.

  It had been ages since he’d spoken privately with Lilly.

  She and Danforth had upheld the charade of a romance between the two of them, and it seemed as though they’d eliminated any threat from Hawthorn.

  But Michael needed to see that she was well. He would not reveal his plans though. He would surprise her. He would promise himself to her only when he’d become free to do so.

  But now that he been with her again, his entire being yearned for her. He wanted to be near her. At the younger couple’s engagement ball, he could dance with her once. In fact, it would likely be expected of him. He would hold her in his arms for the duration of a set. He would be certain his dance with her was a waltz.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Last Dance

  The Spencers were, indeed, a family of considerable wealth.

  The mere fact that London Hills had been considered one of the family’s smaller holdings should have demonstrated that fact to Lilly.

  And their London home, Burtis Hall, provided further evidence of this fact. Located directly across the park behind tall iron gates, it was one of the largest in Mayfair.

  It resembled a park in its own right.

  The ballroom stole one’s breath. Three giant chandeliers dangled from the ornate ceiling, each lit with literally hundreds of candles. No less than three stories tall, the walls boasted gilded molding divided by pillars holding up decorative archways. The parquet floor was polished to a high sheen, giving the incredibly large space a feeling of golden warmth. Heavy red drapes were pulled back from the numerous french doors leading outside to the decorated terrace, and spaced along the opposing wall were colorful tapestries.

  The terrace doors had been thrown open, beckoning guests to view the fountain statues standing in circular pools spouting streams of water from various points. Within the fountains floated candles on wax lily pads.

  At the far end of the room, a balcony perched level with the glistening chandeliers. It seated a full orchestra. Smaller balconies were spaced evenly around the room. It was the most impressive venue of any event Lilly had attended all season.

  Lady Ravensdale had personally invited Lilly and Lady Eleanor to arrive early with Glenda so they could participate in the receiving line. Glenda’s future mother-in-law, whom Lilly had planned on being in awe of, was warm, kind, and very handsome for a woman with five grown children. Lady Natalie had gotten her fine looks from her mother. She was slim and graceful, with blond hair that had a touch of white in it. Lilly felt she could have been a delightful friend.

  The receiving line consisted of the earl and his countess, Lady Natalie and Lord Cortland, Glenda and her betrothed, and then Lilly and her aunt. As the very large entry doors swung open, Lilly felt out of place. It took over an hour to greet the arrivals before the majordomo signaled to enter the ballroom where the earl and his wife would commence the dancing.

  The setting was majestic, the music divine, and champagne and wine flowed freely. Lilly stood next to her aunt and observed as Glenda’s betrothed took her in his arms and waltzed with her alongside his parents.

  Lilly had been limited in the amount of influence over her stepdaughter, but a lump of pride formed in her throat nonetheless. What must her sister have felt at this moment had she lived? Glenda held herself, beautiful and poised, following Mr. Spencer’s lead gracefully.

  “They make a charming couple.” A familiar voice interrupted her musings. Michael had managed to slip behind her unnoticed. She wished she could lean back—into his arms.

  “I am so happy for her.” Lilly tamped down the emotions which had been threatening since the first moment she’d seen Glenda in the new gown they had purchased for the event.

  Michael bent forward again. So close she felt his breath on her nape and behind her ear. “A place on your dance card, Lilly. A waltz, please.”

  Lilly turned then, to look into his eyes.

  Did only she notice the fire behind the blue depths? She lifted her wrist upon which she wore her dance card and offered it to him. “I’d be honored, Your Grace.” Lilly spoke formally, remembering how they had been overheard once before.

  Pulling a pencil from one of his pockets, Michael took hold of her arm. His fingers covered her pulse, which she knew must be racing. He adjusted the card so he could read the names already upon it.

  Lilly knew Danbury had already signed for both of the waltzes. Michael scratched out Danbury’s name and wrote his own. Lilly expressed no complaint. She then glanced around at the spectacle surrounding them.

  “The Spencers are an extraordinary family.” She could find no fault in his choice of fiancée. “They ought to be the sort who consider themselves abo
ve everybody else, but they do not. In fact, they are pleasantly open and likeable people. I am very happy for Glenda. Have I said this already? Not for the magnificence of the family she is marrying into, but rather that they seem to love her already. I understand they have several family traditions. They are already making arrangements for the winter holidays. She will have warmth, and she will be able to raise her own children the same…I am rambling.” By now, her eyes glistened with tears. “It is exactly what I would have wished for her.”

  “She is lucky to have you,” Michael said.

  Lilly smiled at him. It was a nice compliment. She wished she’d been able to be more of a mother for her. She wished she’d found a way to overcome Lord Beauchamp’s insults and objections. If wishes were horses…and all that.

  The music was loud. There was no one else nearby to overhear Michael’s words. His brows drew together. “Have you…are you…?”

  Lilly cut him off with a nod of her head. “I have, and I am not.” She didn’t trust herself to say anything more. She didn’t trust herself to look at him again. She continued watching the couples dancing. She forced another polite smile.

  Michael stood discreetly behind her.

  “So, there is no…”

  “There is no,” Lilly repeated firmly.

  Michael cleared his throat. “Very well, then.”

  His voice sounded husky, as though…he were…disappointed? She hadn’t expected that.

  And then the dancing came to a halt, and the earl and his wife and Glenda and Joseph all crossed the room to join them. Wherever was Lady Natalie? Joseph’s parents were graciously thanking her and Aunt Eleanor for joining them in the reception line. The earl quite charmingly claimed a dance later on in the evening with Lilly. They were kind people.

  Lady Ravensdale took Lilly by the arm and whisked her away to introduce her once again (because one simply cannot remember everyone one meets in a reception line) to her very best of friends. She hoped Lilly would work with her on some of her favorite charities.

  Lilly considered inventing a dear friend of her own, one whom she could go visit for the rest of the summer somewhere south.

  Her menses were seven days late. She had never been late before. Lilly did not feel any symptoms, however, as she remembered Rose had, so she continued to tamp down both her alternating terror and excitement. She had heard nerves could cause a woman to be late, and she had plenty of those.

  After dancing the supper dance with Danbury, he escorted her into the dining room and seated them with the two engaged couples. Hawthorn had steered clear of them for nearly a month now, and they were hopeful they’d heard the last from him. Danbury graciously pulled out her seat and then excused himself to procure their plates. By this point, he knew all of her favorites and most of her aversions.

  Lilly smiled at Lady Natalie. “You see,” she said, “Lord Danbury isn’t nearly the rake he is reputed to be. It’s like we’re an old married couple. He is an excellent escort on any excursion. He fetches me drinks, he carries my shopping bags, buys me ices, and lends me his coat.”

  Lady Natalie merely shook her head. For some reason, she had decided Danbury was a reprobate and that Lilly was a fool to allow him near her.

  Lilly took a sip of her champagne and listened as Lady Natalie and Glenda discussed wedding arrangements. It seemed Glenda and Joseph were considering a July wedding at the earl’s country seat near Bath. The Ravensdale children had spent most of their youth at Ravens Park, and Joseph considered it home. They would visit after Lady Natalie and the duke’s nuptials and make a final decision then. Although Natalie’s wedding was to be a grand affair, Glenda and Joseph were both in agreement on a simple ceremony followed by a tour of the continent during the fall. This suited Lilly perfectly, but it was difficult to hear about plans surrounding Michael’s wedding to another. It was beginning to look as though she was not going to be able to avoid attending. Perhaps she might be ill…?

  Watching Michael, Lilly found, was bittersweet.

  He was so close and yet, so very far away. These days his features were grim and serious, as though he were working out a problem.

  He had grown into and become a very fine duke.

  She knew he doubted himself and compared his efforts to what his brother might have done. As they’d walked around the lake, he’d admitted as much to her. But watching him and knowing the lengths he’d go to for the good of his tenants, for the good of the country, for that matter, she was certain his older brother and father would have been proud.

  He exuded energy and a quiet power.

  Michael was a good man.

  He’d lived an honorable life. He didn’t live life on the edge as Danbury had. This was part of what she loved about him. He was kind to old ladies, wallflowers, and small animals. He would be a wonderful husband. He was going to make an excellent father someday. At this thought, she nearly gasped in pain. She experienced an urge to weep often these days. There would come a great relief after Glenda’s wedding. Lilly would be more than ready for the peace and solitude of that small cottage in her imagination. She had already contacted a land agent who was researching some options for her.

  The last waltz of the evening was the one Michael had reserved. None of the guests had left early, for a Ravensdale ball was likely to be one of the highlights of the season. Nobody wished to miss a moment of it.

  Her eyes followed his dark and commanding figure as he made his way across the room. His stride was relaxed and confident. Their eyes held as he stood before her. “I believe this is my dance?” He winged his arm toward her. And then he added, “My lady.”

  “I told you—”

  “You’re nobody’s lady, I remember. Humor me.”

  Shaking her head, Lilly reached her hand through the crook of his arm and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor. Once they stopped, he turned her to face him and placed one hand on her waist. He lifted her other hand to his lips before grasping it firmly. And then the music began.

  The orchestra was one of the best in all of London, and the waltz they played was a slow and haunting tune. Michael led her confidently as the music rose and fell. She found it odd that it matched her emotions.

  This dance would be her last.

  It would be the last time he would hold her.

  Staring into her eyes, he took long steps and guided her effortlessly around the other couples. She’d forgotten this feeling, of floating as he led her. His warm hand held hers with just the right amount of strength. Through the broadcloth of his jacket, his shoulders were firm.

  Her eyes, in turn, drank him in. She watched his chin, his jaw, the way his hair was pushed behind his ears. Thick and straight, it had no tendency to curl, whatsoever. His valet attempted to control it with pomade, slicking it back while it was wet. But it would never stay that way. Like Michael, it had a will of its own.

  When he dipped his head down, he inhaled deeply. She knew he was memorizing her scent—just as she was his.

  And in his arms, she felt like a secret princess. She floated on air, feeling like an angel, as he twirled her around. They danced in perfect unison, as though two people could really become one. When she tilted her head back slightly, she remembered the sensation of his lips tracing the line of her throat.

  They were in a world of their own. What a beautiful dance the waltz was. It must have been created for lovers. To be able to touch and move together, in public with no shame, was a gift.

  The music continued, but the strings played more softly allowing the pianist to take the melody. It was as though the keys cried for the two of them. What should have been.

  And then it ended.

  Lilly curtsied, and Michael bowed.

  He escorted her back to Lady Eleanor and walked away from Lilly, toward his fiancée. He leaned into the younger girl and whispered something near her ear. Lady Natalie nodded and then, taking Michael’s arm, the two of them disappeared together onto the terrace.

  ****


  Michael could wait no longer. The vote was scheduled for the day after tomorrow. He and his allies were not certain, but they had good reason to believe they would defeat their opponents.

  “Is something the matter, Your Grace?” Lady Natalie took his arm and allowed him to lead her outside.

  “You might say that.”

  She must have seen the determination on his face, for once outside, she led him along the french doors to a walkway he’d been unaware of.

  “We can enter one of the drawing rooms through here,” she whispered. “We will not be interrupted.”

  For a moment, he wondered if she thought he might be wanting to be alone with her for less than honorable reasons. But only for a moment. As soon as they entered the room, his fiancée released his arm, located a flint, and lit several candles. Once she’d turned around and faced him, he could hold back his words no longer.

  “I cannot go through with this.” He’d not meant to blurt it out like that, but the time was right. He already felt horrible for letting it go this long.

  “Oh, thank God!”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Scandal (Also Known as Really Bad Gossip)

  Scandals don’t always begin in the drawing rooms of the ton. They don’t always begin by ladies eager to share their rival’s latest mishap. In London, the best of scandals became public knowledge on the society pages of the London Gazette. The ton, it was believed, had a mole. A person within its ranks who consistently shared all of the latest on-dits with K. Carmichael, gossip columnist at large.

  The morning after the Ravensdale ball, the paper flaunted plenty of fodder. The most scandalous of which read as follows:

  A young Mr. J—S—, who celebrated his betrothal just last evening, has aligned himself with a family who is hiding more than one skeleton. The prospective bride’s stepmamma has acted both lawlessly and scandalously. The apparently sweet Lady B is not nearly as innocent and sweet as she has appeared all season. This reporter has discovered that the lady was not the first sister to marry Miss G—B—’s esteemed father. Not only is Lady B the stepmamma to the young miss, but she is her auntie as well, which makes the marriage not only illegal but practically incestuous! And if the marriage was illegal, then Lady B is not really Lady B at all, is she?