“He was rude to us,” Rachel added, trying to free her heel from Deke’s mouth as he dragged her back.
“Definitely a crime punishable by death. I see no reason why we can’t keep Deke on the down low during our stay. I’ll walk him twice a day. Mr. Bingham seems properly motivated to make our stay hassle free with Deke. I bet you two were wandering around that huge lobby, gawking like a couple of rubes from Parma with poor Deke trying to be inconspicuous, weren’t you?”
Rachel turned away with arms folded. “Maybe.”
“Okay then, Deke’s walked now. I’ll give him one of his beef bone treats, and he’ll be good for the rest of the day. I’m meeting my confederates in Grizzly Rob’s Bar for a business meeting, so I’ll see you two in a little while.”
“Don’t you get tanked before the water park, Muerto!”
“I am not going to get tanked, Dear. A relaxing beverage after saving Western Civilization is not too much to ask. Add in saving my drinking buddy any further hassles with the local hotel management, and I’d say at least two relaxing beverages would be a small but pleasant reward.”
“Go ahead, but remember we’re heading for the water park at 1 pm.”
“Bring your harpoon though, Dad. There might be a whale sighting in-”
Jean ran for it with Rachel in hot pursuit. Nick sighed contentedly, and brought Deke his beef bone treat. “Don’t let this conflagration go on too long, Deke.”
Nick grabbed his wallet while listening to the sounds of chaos in Jean’s bedroom. Deke took his bone with him and ambled into Jean’s room too. Nick took the opportunity to make good his escape. It was only a brief journey to Grizzly Rob’s Bar, which he could see had only just opened. John, Dan, and Gus were already seated inside at a large table. Nick walked over to join them, trading the usual greetings. Nick sat down, seeing beers and shots in front of Gus and John, but iced tea for Dan. The waitress came over right away.
“I’d like a Long Island Iced Tea,” Nick ordered.
“Sure. Be right back.”
“Going heavy on the celebration, huh Nick?”
“It was one of those after assault stressful mornings. I had to handle numbskulls like Clyde, who will be lucky to live out the year, and then hotel management because it is official lodge policy that pets aren’t allowed. Robyn fixed it for our reservations, but a manager didn’t like the way my ladies were flaunting the Dekester around in the lobby.”
Gus covered his face as the waitress left off the Long Island Iced Tea for Nick. He peeked out at the amused Nick. “Please tell me we don’t have a body to dispose of, Muerto.”
“I’m hurt you would even think that, Payaso. I bet that unkind thought never even passed through the minds of Kabong and Geezer, right guys?”
Silence. Nick took a gulp of his drink. “No one died.”
“What happened then,” Dan asked. “Is he in a hospital somewhere with his memory wiped?”
“Oh… very funny, OG. I worked the logical and common sense solution to the problem. I paid him off. Man, we hit the jackpot this morning, guys. Toast.”
Dan held back while the others toasted. “Don’t you have to give over anything taken in a raid to the government?”
“You bet I do,” Nick said, lowering his voice. “As soon as it’s the government that infiltrates a terrorist underground training center filled with soldiers, weapons and biological plagues, I’ll be the first to drop off the booty on their doorstep. Since it was only the Unholy Trio, I don’t see the government connection for the payoff.”
“Agreed,” Gus said.
“I was hung on a hook for a couple hours, left to fend for myself,” John added. “I get an extra cut for my new lady love, right Muerto?”
“Excellent points, Kabong,” Nick replied. “You shall indeed. As matchmaker supreme, Muerto must provide an ample dowry for his sidekick Kabong.”
“Matchmaker, dowry, lady loves? Boy, I missed out on a lot not being bait this time.”
“We’re saving you for the ‘Ripper’ operation. Thanks to Kabong’s quick infiltration, we had to move fast, especially since he screwed up and got put on a hook like a big guppy.”
John, who had been taking a gulp of beer when Nick made the guppy remark, nearly shot it back out through his nose. Gus pounded on his partner’s back while John coughed his way into control. “Not… funny!”
“That did sound serious about a matchmaking. What the heck did I miss there,” Dan asked. “Did you meet someone while infiltrating the training center, John?”
John shook his head no. “Muerto is trying to choke me out, but also introduce me to Dimah Kader’s cousin, who is escaping from her murderous family back East. Kabong will be the hero who makes her safe, and later weds her so as to have a huge family of loyal American Kabongs.”
“Have you seen your soon to be bride, Kabong?”
“No one has yet, but I am certain she is most beautiful.”
“I’m not very trusting of Muerto, but I hope it works out for you, John,” Dan said.
“What is this about not being very trusting of Muerto? El Muerto is completely trustworthy, Geezer. How dare you call into question El Muerto’s ulterior motives?”
“Now you’ve done it, OG,” Gus said. “You’ve launched him into third person El Muerto. Snap him out of it or we’ll have third person El Muerto for the rest of the day.”
“I have been watching the news since early this morning,” Dan said. “They only played small bits of the video you characters put together. That was impressive. It caught the media assholes by surprise. They tried to frame it as a brutal murderous rampage by insane men no better than the terrorists. The people laughed in their faces, saying stuff like it was a great start, and they can’t wait for the next El Muerto attack. How did your boss like it?”
“He loved it. He knows there will always be fallout over an action like that, but he’s in for the long haul. I trust him with my life. Paul will back any play we make to get the ‘Ripper’ too. I’m sorry we didn’t get to Seattle before he got the fourteen year old runaway, but we didn’t have a choice. This is how I think we can use OG. We’re going to get our own harem of prostitutes, and OG is going to be their pimp.”
“Oh…my…God… you are nuts, Nick,” Dan replied. “Who in hell would ever buy me as a pimp?”
“Damn, Nick,” Gus said. “That’s not bad. We’ll have to recruit some tough ladies to pull this off though. You’ll be great as a pimp, Dan. We’ll dress you to the nines. You’ll have three or four very high class ladies of the night, and we’ll back your play. I’ve read the ‘Ripper’ has cleared the streets of prostitutes, just as you told us you joked with the Marshals about, Nick. The ‘Ripper’ will be ripe for finding a new victim. He won’t be getting anymore runaways. The police are doing roundups of all indigent girls on the streets that have nowhere to go, and no means of support. It’s too bad they don’t do it everywhere, and it’s a shame it takes a murdering monster to fix aspects of social problems no one wants to deal with.”
“I agree with you on that,” Dan said. “How tough would it be for the cops to have the security people at the bus and train stations collect these kids that scrape together enough to get a ticket into town. They already know the kids will eventually commit crimes to survive, end up junkies, or dead. Pimps protect their meal tickets, so how would I fit in? I’d scare off the Ripper.”
“We have studied the victims,” John said. “After his first attacks, it forced the prostitutes who were plying their trade on their own to seek out a pimp. The Ripper stepped up his game. Although they don’t get the same treatment either by the Ripper or the news media, three of the pimps had their throats slashed. No one cares about a pimp, and because the pimps weren’t eviscerated like the women, the cops can’t say for sure it’s the Ripper doing it. Nick predicted the less than compassionate populace’s reaction. Regular folks read about prostitutes and pimps getting killed, and they shrug their shoulders. The fourteen year old runawa
y changed that perspective, hence the police round up of indigent girls.”
“I don’t want to make this seem like a crusade,” Nick added. “I realize this guy is taking not so innocent lives. I’ve seen and met pimps and prostitutes in our big cities, and in many places around the world. The prostitutes don’t have hearts of gold, and their pimps aren’t knights in shining armor protecting them. We’re going after the Ripper because I’m slightly nuts, and I liked the idea of going after him as El Muerto. That said, we did El Muerto and the Unholy Trio here on a large scale. I may be satisfied with taking on the Ripper in a different guise.”
Gus chuckled. “Believe me, Nick. We didn’t think you were going after him out of the goodness of your heart. You made that clear when you told us about what you said to the Marshals. Admit it. You love screwing around with the task forces with their text books and profiles like a… wait a minute! Oh no… you are not doing the ‘Mentalist’ in the Ripper case. If you try that all seeing oracle crap, you’ll get everyone but the Unholy Trio in trouble.”
“You mean like he did in Charleston? I thought that was funny when you told me about his doing the Mentalist in the middle of a police station,” John said.
“Yeah, but this is an FBI task force,” Gus replied. “Muerto already pissed off the FBI in our hometown.”
“I did not. I called both those FBI/HS guys, and let them know the Rashidis and the fake FBI dupes I killed in front of my house were indeed connected, but it was an ongoing investigation taken over by DC authorities. I’ll have you know Agents Rogers and Agnew were very appreciative. When I arrive in league with my US Marshal pals, this FBI task force leader, Kaitlin Anderson, will be pissed as hell. Grace hates her, so I’ll be able to play those two off against each other like in Charleston with Grace and the police lieutenant. When she tries to screw up our plan, I’ll get a recommendation from Rogers and Agnew.”
“I have to hand it to you, Nick,” Dan said. “That is the most convoluted caper I’ve ever heard of. Carol and I used to watch that ‘Mentalist’ show until it ended. You’ve really decided to bring in this Ripper guy alive?”
“I would have to if my scenario works out the way I plan. That’s the only downside, but it shelves El Muerto while we’re doing the book signings in the same city, and still appeases my refined, compassionate, criminologist side.”
Nick’s three companions began making gagging noises all at the same time.
* * *
Rachel examined the smiling Nick closely. “I don’t know, Jean. He’s awfully good at hiding whether he’s tanked or not. I definitely smell booze though.”
“I didn’t go to Grizzly Rob’s for orange juice, Dear. We accomplished quite a bit at our business meeting too. I revealed my plan to catch the ‘Seattle Ripper’.”
“He sounds sober to me, Mom. Get on your bathing suit, Dad. I have to say, Mom looks pretty cute in her Princess Bump suit.”
Rachel jetted her right hand with thumb and forefinger in a pinched position only a centimeter apart in front of Jean’s face. “You’re this close to not reaching double digit age!”
“I want you two in neutral corners until I get my suit on. You come with me Princess Bump.”
“No,” Jean said, pushing Nick toward the bedroom. “If you two go in there alone, I’ll never get to the water park.”
“Brat!”
“Momster!”
Nick was out with bathing suit, sandals, and t-shirt in only a few minutes. He found Rachel and Jean having a staring contest with Deke refereeing. “Who’s winning, Deke?”
“It’s a tie so far, but I have her on the ropes,” Jean said.
Rachel then crossed her eyes, and vanquished the Daughter of Darkness in a split second of devastating eyeball comedy.
“No fair!”
“Oh waaaahhhh…” Rachel intoned, with fists up in victory. “Let that be a lesson to you young muffin.”
“Let’s go, I have the beach bag. Watch the room, Deke. I’ll walk you when we get back if I survive the clash of the titans at the water park. Luckily, it’s right by Grizzly Rob’s.”
* * *
“This is nice with the cabana, Nick,” Rachel said. “Jean went right for the slides. I’ll bet she’s on that for a while. Are you going in? You’re not really thinking of drinking all day, are you?”
I was. “Of course not. Take off the robe, and let me see how you look in the new Princess Bump suit.”
“Don’t start picking up every cast off dig the Daughter of Darkness slams me with.” Rachel took off her robe, turning coyly to the side while Nick watched with interest.
“Very nice. I like you in black with the strapped top, and low cut cleavage look.”
“Do you think the top covers Quinn attractively?”
Nick came over to embrace her from the back. “It does indeed. The creator of the ‘Princess Bump’ term will be here shortly with Tina. He’s a bad influence on me though. Payaso claims he’s going to sit here and drink beer all day… the cad!”
Rachel slapped Nick’s wandering hand. “Stop that! Yeah, I bet that was his idea. It sounds more like something that cad Muerto would do. Is John and Dan joining us too?”
“It’s possible. I think John said something about lying around in his room today, drinking and snoozing after his ordeal. Dan said something about communing with nature on his own. Here’s that cad, Payaso already. Uh oh. Look what he’s brought with him. He didn’t even ask or get a waitress. He raided Grizzly Rob’s on his own… the cad!”
Gus had a tray with beers, shots, two wines, and a soda.
Rachel sighed. “Fine. I’ll sip a wine, but I am going in the water today, and you’re coming with me, Muerto.”
“Of course, my love. Hi partner. Hello Cousin Itt.”
“Gomez… Princess Bump.”
“Not you too, Tina.”
“You look great, girlfriend. Sit back down with me, sip your wine, and we’ll talk about the horrendous plot against America on every news program, foiled by a bunch of masked cartoons.”
“Uh oh. I think Cousin Itt may have had a wine or two before arriving here at the cabana,” Nick observed. “It sure has seemed like that kind of a day though. Thanks for the refills, partner.”
“I figured you’d be ready for another round.” Gus sat down opposite Nick at the cabana table, while Tina and Rachel sat on the lounge chairs. “I’m sorry I tagged you with the Princess Bump label, Rach.”
“Don’t worry about it, Gus. I slip myself and use it. Quinn will be joining us pretty soon, and then I’ll be hiking down to the beach every day, throwing down shooters, and carousing like the rest of you pirates.”
“No. You’ll put a guilt trip on yourself, and be back working at the Café with Quinn riding your back,” Nick said. “What you should be doing is hiking to the beach and throwing down shooters with us carousing pirates.”
“Gomez has a point,” Tina said. “I saw it in your eyes at the mention of the Café. You’re already contemplating a return to waitressing.”
“Joe needs me, unlike Muerto. He appreciates my steadfast code of honor and hard work. I am not taken for granted at the Monte Café as is the case at the Muerto homestead.”
“Oh, you poor thing!” Nick ran around to massage Rachel’s shoulders and neck, slipping his hands accidentally on purpose under her top until Rachel was squealing, and slapping his hands to the enjoyment of their companions.
Nick took off his t-shirt. “I’m going in with Dagger, and see how she’s doing. I’ll come back to get you in a little bit, Princess.”
“Damn, girl,” Tina said, watching Nick walk around hunting for Jean. “Gomez is looking good. He’s getting checked out by all the female lurkers.”
“He works out like a gladiator every day,” Rachel said, smiling as Nick found Jean, and the two headed for the top of the slide together.
“I’ve worked out with him,” Gus said. “Rachel’s right. He works the heavy bag, weights, and cardio stuff until you
think he’d drop from sheer boredom. Then he does the punching bag with forearm and elbow shots mixed with punches so fast you can’t follow what he’s doing. I can’t do that crap more than a couple times a week with him. I’d burn out like an old lightbulb. And then of course he walks Deke and Jean all over creation. I doubt those calories from the Irish coffees even touch him.”
“You look good, baby,” Tina said, reaching from her lounger to pat Gus’s leg. “Gomez looks like he’s cut. His damn six pack looks like one of those Batman costume tops. Spill it, Rach. He’s doing steroids isn’t he? Inquiring minds want to know. I thought his head looked bigger lately. It’s swelling like a ripe melon. Is his dick shrinking like the steroid warnings say? Does he stay cranky all day, and want to smack you around. C’mon… we’re your friends. We’ll help. You don’t have to go through this alone.”
By the time Tina finished with her ‘Steroid Nick’ routine, complete with gesturing hands, Gus and Rachel were enjoying the show loudly. It took more than a few moments before Rachel could respond in coherent form.
“He…he’s not on anything. I’ll tell you something else. He’s so damn calm, it’s freaky. I don’t have to tell Gus that. I watched the fake FBI guys meet their maker on our HD porch cam. They never had a chance. They reached first, and none of them cleared a holster. We have a wide angle cam on the front sidewalk too. Nick’s expression never changed. I couldn’t tell for sure, but I think he smiled.”
“There’s a reason a guy like Paul Gilbrech backs someone like Nick all the way,” Gus added, “and it has nothing to do with any kind of employee/employer agreement. Paul knows what happened to Frank Richert. Paul and Nick have an understanding. Nick says he trusts him with his life, and other than we minions of Muerto, there aren’t any people listed in that small group.”
“Was that his plan to do everything under the radar this morning, Gus?”
“Nick didn’t hear from John, and that was it. He hit the place. As usual, he was right as rain. They had John chained on a hook getting ready to toast him. Instead they got Muerto. He has some funny plans for John. Did he tell you he’s going to play matchmaker for John with Dimah Kader’s cousin who will be fleeing the East Coast soon?”
Bloody Shadows Page 26