Tammy was having meetings with the network again when she ran into the man she'd met right before the holidays, the one who was going to St. Bart's with his family, and never called her when he got back. She hadn't thought he would, so she hadn't been disappointed. He introduced himself to her again after the network meetings. He said his name was John Sperry, and said he was sorry he hadn't called her.
“I've been out with the flu for two weeks,” he said when he saw her. It was a lame excuse, but as good as any other. Tammy looked at him and smiled. If he'd been a freak, he would have called. “You think I'm lying, don't you? I swear, I've been sick as a dog. I nearly had pneumonia.”
She almost laughed at him. She'd heard it all before. “I lost your number. That always works for me too.” Although he could have called her at the show.
“I didn't have your number,” he reminded her, looking embarrassed. “But come to think of it, why don't you give it to me now?” She felt silly giving it to him. She didn't have time to go out with him anyway. They were having a million problems on the show. Their host's contract was up and he wanted double the money. He'd been shot once and assaulted twice. He felt he deserved combat pay for being on the show, and he wasn't wrong. The trouble was the audience loved him, which gave him a choke hold on them now. She had been discussing the problem with Irving Solomon and the network people all morning. Tammy was tempted to let him go, but she was afraid their ratings would show it, and the sponsors wouldn't like it.
She went back to her office and forgot about John Sperry again. Something crossed her desk about a special Valentine's show, and when she saw it, she thought of her father. He was getting married on Valentine's Day, and none of them had spoken to him since the day after Christmas when he told them. She wasn't sure what to do. They couldn't ignore him forever, but she wasn't ready to deal with Leslie and his marriage yet either. None of them was.
She brought it up that night at dinner at the house. She threw the question out to her sisters. “What are we going to do about Dad?” He hadn't called them either. He was obviously hurt by their reaction, and they were horrified by what he was doing. They all felt he was betraying their mother. It had been five weeks since any of them had spoken to him, which had never happened before.
“Maybe one of us should call him,” Sabrina suggested, but no one volunteered.
“I don't want to go to the wedding,” Candy said quickly.
“None of us do,” Tammy said with a sigh. “How could we? It would be such a disrespect to Mom.”
“But he is our dad,” Candy said hesitantly.
“Why don't we take him to lunch and talk, or invite him here?” Annie said softly. She had been thinking about it for weeks too. And the fact was they all missed him. They just didn't want Leslie in their lives, at least not yet, and maybe never, depending on how she behaved. None of them was ready to include her in their family. It was a terrible dilemma, but they didn't want to lose their father either.
“Do you realize they might have a baby?” Sabrina mentioned, and Tammy groaned audibly.
“Please. You're making me sick,” Tammy said miserably.
In the end, after hours of discussion, they decided to invite him to the house for a drink. It was less stressful than sitting through a meal in a restaurant, with strangers all around them. As the oldest, they appointed Sabrina to call him. She was hesitant and nervous when she called the house in Connecticut. What if Leslie answered?
He answered on the second ring, and he sounded so thrilled to hear her, that she felt sorry for him. He obviously didn't want to lose them either. And he agreed to come to the city the next day. He never mentioned Leslie once. For a brief moment, Sabrina hoped he had changed his mind. But she knew that if he had, he would have called.
They all came home early from work to meet with him. And they noticed that he looked nervous when he arrived. They walked into the living room as a group and sat down.
“We assume you're still getting married on Valentine's Day,” Tammy began, with hope in her eyes that was quickly dashed.
“Yes, I am. We're actually flying to Las Vegas to do it, which sounds a little silly. But I knew none of you would want to be there, and it's too soon to make a big fuss.”
“It's too soon to be getting married,” Tammy said, and her father looked her in the eye.
“You're not going to talk me out of it, if that's what you asked me here for. I know it seems early to you, but at my age, you don't have a lot of time. There's no reason for us to wait.”
“You could have waited for us,” Sabrina pointed out to him, “and for Mom.”
“Would six months make that much difference to you?” he asked them. “Would you really be happier about Leslie then? I don't think you would. And this is our life, not yours. I don't interfere with what you do. I don't tell Sabrina that she should be married, that Chris is a great guy, and she should be doing something about it, if she wants kids. I don't tell Tammy that she should stop working on all these crazy shows and find a decent guy. Or Candy that she needs to go back to school. Or Annie that she needs to find a job even if she's blind. Your mother and I always respected you. We didn't always agree with what you did, but we gave you room to make your own mistakes and decisions. Now you need to give me the space to make mine. Maybe what I'm doing really is insane. Maybe Leslie will walk out on me in six months and find a younger guy, or maybe we'll be happy for the rest of our lives, and she'll treat me well in my old age. But I need to find out. This is what I want. It's not what you want, for yourselves or for me, but it's what I want to do, and what I think I need. She's a good woman and we love each other. And whatever I do, or don't do, no matter what, your mother isn't coming back. And she was the love of my life. But she's gone, and the truth is, I don't want to be alone. I can't. I'm too unhappy by myself. And Leslie is good company. We love each other, although differently than I loved your mother. But why shouldn't I have a second chance?” They listened to him without interrupting him, and some of what he said made sense. Collectively they took a breath, and without saying anything, Candy put her arms around him and hugged him. She was thinking about what Paul had said on the plane, about giving Leslie another chance. Time would tell. For her father's sake, she hoped Leslie was a decent woman, whether they liked her or not. It was just too soon for them.
“We love you, Dad,” Tammy said. “We just don't want you to make a mistake, or get hurt.”
“Why not? You do. We all do. Mistakes are part of life. If it's a big mistake, I'll call Sabrina and do something about it.” He and his oldest daughter exchanged a smile.
“I hope it works out for you, Dad,” she said softly. It was so nice to see him again. They had all missed him so much.
“So do I. All I can do is try. And I'm sorry you're all upset. I know this is hard for you. It's a big change for me too.” And it was so much too soon for them.
“Do we have to see her, Dad?” Annie was the one who asked. None of them wanted to see her, but they assumed that he'd expect them to. He was more reasonable than they thought. He was still the father that they all loved so much.
“Let's go easy for a while,” he said sensibly. “Let's get us back on track first. I thought I was never going to hear from any of you again.” He had been sick over it for a month.
“We missed you a lot,” Candy said.
“I missed you too,” he admitted, as Sabrina opened a bottle of wine. They each had a drink with him, they all hugged each other and promised to get together again soon. And a short while later, he left. The meeting had gone better than any of them had hoped. He was marrying her, but at least he and his children were talking again, and he wasn't expecting them to embrace her with open arms, or even see her for a while. He was hoping they'd get used to the idea in time. And he had told them that there would be no Fourth of July party this year. It would be too hard for all of them, and now it was the anniversary of their mother's death, not just a party. He said that he and Leslie were goi
ng to Europe in July, and they were free to make other plans. It was a relief for all of them. None of them could have faced that party ever again, and even less with Leslie around.
“What are we going to do for the Fourth of July?” Candy asked.
“Let's not worry about that now,” Sabrina said wisely. At least they were speaking to their father again. And they collectively agreed to send them flowers and champagne in Las Vegas on Valentine's Day. It was a gesture of truce that they knew would please him. There was no question though, it was more than odd to realize that they would now have a stepmother younger than their oldest sister. This was not what any of them expected when their mother died. But then again, neither had their father. Leslie had just dropped by, and love had happened.
They were still talking about it when Tammy's cell phone rang. She couldn't imagine who it was at that hour. It was John Sperry asking her to lunch the next day. She was stunned to hear him.
“I can't believe you called me,” she said, sounding amazed.
“I told you I would. Why do you seem so surprised?” She wanted to answer, “Because normal guys never call me. I'm a magnet for freaks and weirdos.” Maybe he was, and only appeared to be normal. Who could tell anymore? She wasn't sure she'd know a regular guy if he bit her on the nose.
“I don't know why I'm surprised. I guess because most people don't do what they say. How was St. Bart's, by the way?”
“Fun. I go there with my family every Christmas. I have three brothers, and they all bring their wives and kids.”
“I have three sisters,” she said, smiling. The picture he painted of his family was appealing, and similar to hers, except that none of her sisters was married and had kids.
“I know. You said you quit your job to come here and take care of your sister. I was impressed by that.” Very impressed, in fact. “What happened to her?” Tammy had walked out of the living room with her cell phone to talk to him.
“It's a long story, but she's doing really well.” As she said it, she suddenly realized they were halfway through their lease, and she felt sad. She loved living with them. Maybe when their current lease expired, they'd find another house. None of them seemed to be going anywhere. Maybe they would live together forever. Four spinsters in a house. The only one finding true love these days was their father. And Annie seemed to be doing well with Brad. And she liked the boy Candy had met on the plane. Her love life and Sabrina's were in the tank. Her own had been for years. She had a reality show instead.
“You said your sister had an accident. What happened?” He seemed to be interested. Maybe he was only curious, but talking to him was pleasant. He seemed like a nice guy. He was intelligent, good looking, and had a relatively important job.
“She lost her sight. It was very dramatic for her. She's an artist, or was. She's doing special training at the Parker School for the Blind.”
“How strange,” John said, sounding pensive. “One of my brothers is deaf, and we all sign. He was born that way. It must be a huge adjustment for her to lose her sight.”
“It is. She's been amazing. And very brave.”
“Does she use a guide dog?” he asked with interest.
“No.” Tammy smiled. “She hates dogs. We have three here, the rest of us all have one each, but they're little, or two of them are. My older sister has a basset named Beulah. She suffers from chronic depression.” He laughed at the vision.
“Maybe she needs a shrink,” he said, joking with her.
“We have several of those too.”
“That reminds me. Now tell me the truth about Désirée Lafayette. Did she used to be a guy?” Tammy laughed out loud.
“I've always wondered that myself.”
“She sounds like a stripper.”
“She'd probably love that. She wants me to get her a wardrobe, designed specially for her by Oscar de la Renta. I haven't had the guts to ask him yet. Or the budget.”
“I'm sure it could be arranged.”
“I hope not.”
They laughed about the show for a few minutes, and he repeated his invitation for lunch. He suggested a restaurant that she liked. It sounded appealing, and it was nice to get out of the office for a change. She didn't do it often, she was usually too busy putting out fires to stop and eat. They made a date for one o'clock the next day.
The others asked her who it was when she hung up and came back into the room.
“Someone from the network I keep running into at meetings. He invited me to lunch,” she said noncommittally.
“That sounds like fun,” Sabrina said with a sad smile. She hadn't gone out since she and Chris broke up a month before. All she did was work and come straight home. She didn't have the heart to do anything else. All she'd done was think about him since he left. She missed him horribly. And she hadn't heard a word from him. She kept thinking about the beautiful ring. And the proposal that had terrified her. She wasn't as brave as her dad. Or as foolish. She didn't see how his marriage to Leslie could ever work. But she wished him well. Even though she thought the way he had gone about it was a huge disrespect to their mom. But she loved him nonetheless, and she was relieved that they had talked. At least the lines of communication were open again. That was something at least. But like the others, she was worried about how his marriage to Leslie would impact them, and their relationship with their dad.
Tammy met John Sperry for lunch the next day. He was intelligent, interesting, and she liked him. He had a million projects in the works, lots of interests, played a lot of sports, loved the theater, was ambitious about his job. He was extremely close to his family, and thirty-four years old. It appeared to both of them by the end of lunch that they had a lot in common.
“So what do we do next?” he asked her as they left the restaurant. “Dinner or another lunch?” Then he had a different idea. “How about tennis at my club on Saturday morning?”
“I'm a lousy player,” she warned. But it sounded like fun.
“So am I,” he admitted. “But I enjoy it anyway. We can have lunch at the club afterward, or somewhere else, if you have time.” He was starting slow, and she liked that too. She didn't like men who took her out to dinner once and tried to rush her into bed. And she would be perfectly content if they just wound up friends. She didn't have many friends in New York. All of her friends were in L.A., and she never had time to see them anyway.
She was in good spirits when she went back to the office and he called her the next day just to say hello. He sent her an interoffice memo with a joke in it, and she laughed out loud at her desk. He was a nice addition to her life. Not a bolt of lightning, which she didn't want. It was more like a quiet entrance of someone solid into the room. She felt his presence, but it didn't shake her up or unnerve her, which felt much more comfortable to her. And he wasn't on any unusual diets, and didn't belong to any cults. That in itself was a marvel.
She said very little about him to her sisters. Their contact didn't warrant it yet. She came home happy and relaxed on Saturday, tired after a game of tennis, which he had won easily. He played much better than he said, but she had held her own. And afterward they'd had lunch and gone for a walk in the park. It was still cold, but not too much to enjoy a walk. She ran into Brad and Annie on their way out as she got home. Brad was taking her to some sort of tactile conceptual art exhibit he had read about that he thought she'd enjoy, and they were chatting animatedly. He wanted her to do another lecture at the school. He thought she should do a museum series, or one about the art in each city in Italy she had visited. Her memory was excellent, and there was much she could share with her fellow students.
“Where've you been?” Annie asked her. She looked happy with Brad, and Tammy was pleased to see it. Candy was at Brown for the weekend again, visiting Paul. It was the second weekend in a row.
“I played tennis with a friend,” Tammy said easily. “Is Sabrina home?”
“She's upstairs. I think she's getting sick. She sounds awful.”
Tammy nodded. Sabrina had looked sick since New Year's Eve.
“Have a good time, you two. See you later.”
“We won't be back till late. We're having dinner after the exhibit.”
“Good. Have fun.” Tammy was smiling to herself as she walked into the house. Annie looked so radiant with Brad, and they looked so comfortable together. Everything about it seemed right. She was happy Sabrina had won the bet.
She walked upstairs to check on Sabrina, and found her lying on her bed in the dark. She suspected she wasn't sick, but depressed. Tammy hated to see things end with Chris. He was such a good man, and had been so good to Sabrina for so long. It was a shame she had such an aversion to marriage. If ever she had been inclined to get married, Chris would have been the right man. But apparently she just couldn't. Sabrina seemed to prefer losing him to marrying him.
“How're you doing?” she asked Sabrina gently, and her older sister shrugged. She looked pale and tired and worn out, with dark circles under her eyes. The breakup hadn't been a liberation, as some were. It had been a major loss, and still was. She had been mourning him for a month.
“Not so great,” Sabrina said, and rolled over to look up at the ceiling. “Maybe Dad is right. Maybe you have to take chances in life, and risks. But I just can't see myself married to anyone, ever. Or having kids. It's so much goddamn responsibility, and way too scary.”
“You take care of all of us,” Tammy reminded her. “You mother all three of us, especially Annie and Candy. What's the difference if it's your sisters or your kids?”
“I can tell you guys to take a hike.” She smiled ruefully. “You can't do that to your kids. And if you screw it up, you fuck them up for life. I see it all the time at work.”
“You should have been a wedding planner instead of a divorce lawyer. It would have been better for your future.” Sabrina smiled in answer.
“Yeah. Maybe so. Chris must absolutely hate me. He was so sweet with the ring that night, but I just couldn't do it. Not even for him. And God knows I love the man. I wouldn't mind living with him at some point. I just don't want the paperwork. It's too big a mess to undo it if you have to. This way, if you want out, you say goodbye and that's it. You don't need a buzz saw to pull your lives apart.”
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