She waved me inside when I reached her porch.
She didn't have a wooden door. The open screen was her sole protection from the elements. Whenever I asked her about it she waved her hands and told me in a thick accent that she didn't need one in the summer. She grinned her toothless smile and lead me through her cluttered living room.
Her furniture was either all pink or had faded from red, and wore mismatched prints and woods in the chairs and tables. She had homemade afghans and quilts over the backs of all the furniture and her faded, tattered rugs covered her mildewed carpet.
I asked her to sit in one of the puffy chairs and watched her eyes fill with happy tears as I sat at her feet and pulled out a bottle of burgundy nail polish. She giggled like a little girl as I painted her nails and I listened hard, trying to understand her as she told me stories of her childhood and of her three children which were all laid to rest.
When I left her home she tried to give me an extra quarter but I wouldn't take it. She hugged me tightly.
As I stepped out of the house someone shouted vulgar words in my direction with a whistle. I looked up to see the brothers calling to me. One hit the other in the chest and pointed to our house.
William stood slowly. His hand looked like it itched to grab the gun in his waistband but he held steady. Dizzy and Reese looked at each other before quickly scrambling up, ready for a fight.
William never took his eyes from the brothers as he stalked to the street. I tried to keep my face calm and my legs steady as I went to meet him. He held out his hand and I took it. We walked back to the house and I glared at the two men. One nodded his head slightly, the other looked like he wanted to teach William a lesson.
William calmly sat back down on the porch with Dizzy and Reese even as his jaw flushed and tightened. I ignored the darkening of his eyes as I stomped into the house. I slammed the door behind me and fumed.
I dropped the pretty package from Granny on the bed and paced. I looked up as the door closed quietly behind me. William leaned against it. I spun on him, furious.
“I am not some object to defend,” I shouted at him.
“I know.” The patience in his voice pissed me off even more.
“Then what the hell were you doing?” I growled.
“Protecting you,” his shoulders shrugged. "I didn’t like the nasty things they were saying. You do simply not talk that way to a lady."
I took the nail polish out of my pocket and flung it across the room. I hadn’t meant to hit him, and he knew it, but I was used to people fearing me when I was angry. William didn't seem to be afraid of anything.
“You pissed them off. You couldn't sit pretty for even a second to let me deal with the situation myself?”
He pushed away from the door. “You would have gotten yourself killed.” His voice was low as worry glinted in his eyes. “Your temper is worse than mine. I know you don’t need to be handled but if I hadn't I would have had to shoot the both of them.”
I rolled my eyes. He was so pompous. I tried to turn out of his reach but he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him. He held me, kissing my hair. “I'm sorry if I overreacted.” He pulled back to look into my eyes, “I know guys like that though. Don't ever try to take them on.”
“Why? Were you a guy like that?” I was curious. I had seen bits of his reckless heart but didn't know how deep the streak ran.
“No, I was never like them.” His voice was troubled. “Promise to never be stupid, never let your temper fly at them.”
I nodded, seeing how worried he was and the severity of the danger. I had honestly thought William couldn't be afraid of anything if he wasn't afraid of my mother or the law. The realization blew out my flame of aggression.
He’s scared of losing me.
Chapter 20- Hyacinth
Everyone packed their bags for our trip to the lake in a flurry of excitement. It wasn't long before we were sitting in the living room, waiting for the sun to come up since none of us could sleep.
I had never been to a lake or an ocean before. I was used to purified pools. The thought of the stinky, natural, filthy water teeming with life made my stomach twist.
William settled beside me on the bed. “What’s bothering you?” he asked as he leaned in close.
“What if a fish bites my toes off?” I knew I sounded ridiculous but the worry was real.
Dizzy grinned into his beer as Reese cocked his head. “Are you serious?”
William’s face began to purple as he fought to hide his laughter. I shoved him and he fell off the bed, laughing harder.
He jumped to his feet and scooped me off the mattress.
“What are you doing?” I swatted at him as he moved toward the door.
“Sun’s coming up. Time to go.”
Dizzy and Reese leaped up, snatching our bags on their way out. William set me in the back seat. His eyes shimmered with wicked humor.
William drove without stopping but glanced back at me often to catch my glare. My annoyance made his sly grin spread wider. I ignored the corny ghost stories he and Reese shared in an attempt to scare me more.
As we pulled up to the main lodge Reese bolted out of the car. We waited with William humming under his breath, trying not to glance my way.
Dizzy tapped my knee. Keeping his hands low, he motioned at William and then at me. He made a movement like someone throwing a baby and then a splash.
So they were going to throw me in the lake? I didn't think so.
I kept my expression stoic as Reese climbed back into the car and pointed out the path to our cabin. It was small but beautiful and directly on the lake with a private dock. I kept my hand raised, prepared at any second.
As the car began to slow to a roll I threw open my door and jumped out. I landed on my feet but almost went down. I flew off into the trees toward the dock.
“Ruth!”
I laughed wildly as I disappeared from their sight.
I waited out of reach as Reese circled around the other side of the cabin. William strutted towards the dock while shaking his head. Even in the darkness, I could see his smile. He loved this game of cat and mouse.
I looked back to the car to see Dizzy leaned against his door, lighting a cigarette, and watching to see who would win.
William pondered the area for a while. He was so close to where I crouched in the brush that I could have grabbed him, but I waited, patient.
He called out for me a few more times before turning to shrug at Reese, leaning close Dizzy. They were patient too and shaking hands.
They were making bets.
I tried to hold my breath as William's attention was captured by the slow water sparkling with the reflection of the stars.
He stepped onto the dock. His hands were in his pocket. His back was to me.
I slid out of my shoes for extra stealth and crept my place of hiding, keeping low and throwing a warning look back at the guys. Reese’s hand shot up as his mouth opened to call for William but Dizzy grabbed him.
William was almost to the end of the dock when I stepped on. I tiptoed closer, holding my breath.
I glanced behind me one last time to see Reese giving up, and handing Dizzy a stack of bills. I grinned and turned back to my mouse.
Shit.
He smirked down at me. I staggered back as he reached. My feet lifted but I refused to be easy prey. I wrapped my legs around his chest. If I went down so would he.
He realized it too late as he tried to pull me toward the water. He was gentle as if he didn’t actually intend to throw me in. He had simply wanted to playfully torture me.
As I squirmed, trying to keep my hold, his foot slipped. I sucked in my breath and tried not to scream. We both went down, straight into the black water.
Plunged into the darkness, my paranoia of gnawing creatures inflated. I kicked as I kept my eyes squeezed tight.
My head broke the surface and spun, treading water. I scanned the ripples, searching for his grin.
&nbs
p; “William?” I tried not to panic. Had he hit his head on the dock?
I stilled my legs as much as I could while keeping me afloat. I watched the surface of the water, ready to pounce at the sign of bubbles. My breath quickened in the quiet.
Something touched my foot. A squeal ripped through my throat as I backed away. Fish don’t eat feet, fish don't eat feet. I thought the chant stayed in my head but my lips moved with the thought.
I screamed as something grabbed hold of my leg. It pulled me, trying to drag me down into the depths and eat me alive. I couldn’t save William if I was dead. I had to fight it.
I’m not exactly brave or strong, I simply have a temper and a mouth that got me into so many dangerous places long before it ever touched William's.
My temper flared.
I tucked myself down into the water, reaching for my foot. I tried to open my eyes but couldn’t see anything through the blackish-green fog. Whatever had me was strong but I was meaner.
I threw out a fist and felt the soft blow of skin. Water slows everything. I’m going to die.
Suddenly the horrible water beast let go. I backed away quickly, swimming toward the shore but spinning back around halfway. I had to find William.
I saw his face above the water adorned with an impish little grin. My brain quickly caught up.
I was going to kill him. I spun in the water and threw myself down, swimming hard until my chest scraped the bottom and air touched my back. I stood and watched him wade slowly toward me, guilt written all over his face.
“You were going to push me first,” he claimed when he was near enough.
I shook my head. “Lies. Dizzy told me how you were planning to throw me into the lake.” We stared at each other as our annoyances turned to confusion. His gaze slipped away to the guys who cowered on the other side of the car. I looked between William and them, “Reese told you I was going to push you in?”
He nodded, his eyes never straying from Reese and Dizzy. His mouth twisted in a wry smile. It was extraordinary to see half anger, half amusement play behind the bright brown eyes.
I laughed as I wondered who they claimed won.
We showered and took over the bedroom. Reese and Dizzy didn't try to fight for it. They were happy to have succeeded in their game. Who would have ever known that we were both mice?
I glared at the pesky cats as I closed the door to our room. William turned the air conditioning system all the way down, making it as cold as it could go so he could light a fire. The feeling of clean, filtered air blowing from the vents was blissful.
He wrapped his arms around me as we lay on the bed, gazing into the fire before drifting off.
I was so used to waking in the night and sleeping in the day that when I opened my eyes and saw sunlight I was blinded and shocked.
I forgot where I was and flailed out in the huge bed. My chest felt like it was going to cave in. Was I still in my old home? Was my life a dream?
“Shh, I'm here,” William’s soft, warm voice washed me in relief. I slumped back onto the pillow.
I saw his concern, love, and affection. He held me as I sobbed. I couldn’t handle one second of my new life not being my reality.
His kiss pressed to my shoulder, neck, hands, and face. His body wrapped around mine and the warmth of his being consoled me. He swept my hair behind my ear.
When I calmed I kissed his fingertips in gratitude. He reached up to pull the curtains closed, pulling me back farther into our perfect, black life. He was all the light I needed.
✷✴✷
We woke in the peaceful night to the sounds of Dizzy and Reese in the living room. We put on our clothes and snuck out the double doors onto a private veranda.
We relaxed on the wicker loveseat and whispered and laughed as the moon slid across the velvet water. I asked him about his childhood, besides his cruel father. He described how beautiful his mother had been, that she was a free spirit.
The ruby heart he once gave me was hers. She used to wear it around her neck on a silver chain. It was all the jewelry he knew her to wear aside from an engagement ring that had been her grandmother’s.
“My mother saw the ruby, she knew it was yours.” He agreed with a wince. “You miss her, don't you?” I asked. He reached for my hand. The memory of us sitting on the bench in my garden filled my mind, the first time his fingers touched mine. “Maybe if I had stayed, not run away with you, we could have still been together in secret and you wouldn't have to hide. Your relationship with my mother wouldn't be ruined.” The thought of that kind of life squeezed my heart mercilessly but I wondered if that's what he preferred. “I can go back,” I whispered. “I would go back for you. I wouldn't be the runaway on the news. You wouldn’t have to hide anymore.”
He balked at me, his expression angry and hurt. “You think it's that simple? That our faces are on the television because you ran away?”
I felt like he was yelling at me though he kept his volume low. I pulled away and glared down at him. He leaned back and tilted his head at me as if I couldn’t possibly come up with a good argument.
“Fuck you.”
His mouth dropped open as I turned and stomped away, my head filling with steam and rage.
My storming pace slowed as I walked along the water. Why was he being so rude? Did he think I was stupid or naive?
Maybe I am.
I stilled as I looked out onto the water. The stars reflected off of the ripples like shards of a glinting mirror.
William had lashed out in pain. He had sacrificed everything to be with me- his new home, his family, and his dreams. I was selfish. What had I done to him?
Shattered him like a mirror. I couldn’t remember how many years of bad luck one received when breaking a mirror.
I had sacrificed things too, but nothing I couldn’t live without. It wasn’t that I was unappreciative of my parents, but the love I had for William rose above everything else. I was willing to sacrifice even my life, but I had never meant for him to have to sacrifice his own.
I hadn’t been walking long but I turned around and headed back toward the cabin. As I neared I saw Dizzy and Reese sitting on the loveseat.
His figure was curled at the end of the long dock with his knees pulled up and his large black book on his legs. He scribbled fast, the tears streaming in what he thought was privacy.
I watched, miserable with myself. He closed his book and lifted his head in my direction, wiping at his face.
I wandered toward him, trying to find the words to apologize. I sat next to him on the dock and he pulled himself to sit behind me, pressing me back to lean on his chest.
His lips to my ear, “I'm sorry. It hurt to think of you leaving me. I don’t know how to tell you how much you mean to me, but I figured by now you know.”
“I know,” my throat squeezed.
“You gave up your life for me, why wouldn’t I do the same for you?” His whisper in my hair tainted my blood with his essence.
“I didn't have as much to give up.” The words came out rushed, escaping my tongue before I could stop them. “You were actually accomplishing your dreams. You were happy. You were freed from your father and I took all of that. I never deserved what I had, and I will never deserve you.” The pain crushed my composure. I was relieved to have my back to him. He couldn’t see the tears. He couldn’t see the guilt.
He held me tighter, kissing my hair. “I didn't need any of that anymore, not since the moment I saw you. You are my heart, Ruth, and you deserve so much more than what I can offer you, so much more than you ever had. But, we do this together,” the gentle reminder strengthened me.
We sat in silence on the dock, watching the breeze stir the water while listening to crickets and frogs call into the night in harmony.
“Hey!”
We turned to see Dizzy lighting the bonfire. Reese waved to us, blowing smoke-filled bubbles toward the sky.
We smiled at each other and walked back to the patio, my heart healin
g and praying for William’s to do the same.
Chapter 21- Thinning
Two nights later Dizzy and I stumbled out of the car. We had all exhausted ourselves over our three-day binge of drinking, sex, and smoking Granny’s best green.
William and Reese backed out of the driveway when Dizzy and I entered the house. Reese had repeatedly begged for orange juice during the ride home. I had a feeling he and Dizzy did a little more than William and me.
I helped Dizzy wobble to his bed. He fell face first, fully clothed, onto the mattress. A few springs broke audibly in protest under his huge frame. I watched him for a moment, wondering where Reese could find room to sleep.
I shrugged and turned to shower, amused.
When I stepped into the living room my skin was still red and my hair steamed as I ran a brush through it. I threw on a pair of panties and one of William’s t-shirts before turning off the light and sliding under the covers. I inhaled deeply having missed the smell.
Sleep was fickle and teasing. I had quickly gotten myself accustomed to the luxury of air conditioning again.
I sat up, irritated with myself. I pulled back the sheet that William had nailed to the wall as a curtain to open the window.
The menacing face an inch from the glass made me shoot backward and tumble to the floor.
I scurried away on my hands and knees in the dark. I didn't know what to do but to find a weapon. I tried to be as quiet as possible, groping in the dark and praying for a forgotten beer bottle, gun, anything.
I was ready to jump up and run to Dizzy. I knew he was blacked out but I needed help. My knees wouldn’t unbend.
I froze at the scraping sound coming from the kitchen. Panic washed over my being as the lock to the backdoor released.
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