by Cara North
"What?” Her temper and something else was barely leashed.
"Hmm?” He didn't look at her.
"You big—jerk!” She stood up. “I worked my ass off today, and I came home to spend time with you, and here you are ... after running out on me, scratching my bike...” Oh the thought of him kicking her bike really pulled emotion to the surface. “That's right. You did that to my bike, didn't you?"
A look of satisfaction crossed his features. Was he enjoying this?
"Why? Why the hell did you do that to my bike?” She picked up the remote and turned the television off.
"Hey."
"Don't you even. I will throw this thing right into the screen.” She pulled the remote back like a football. He held up his hands and sat back.
"I thought you left me.” He looked up at her. “I was so mad at you I couldn't see straight. I kicked the bike on my way out."
"You still don't trust me, do you? You don't trust that if I leave, I will come back. My mother died, Heath!” she shouted it at him, and the reality of her situation sank in.
"And you left without me. You don't trust me either.” He stood to tower over her. “I should have been the first to know, and I should have been with you. Whenever you face a challenge, you put everyone ahead of me. Your sister needed you. Okay, I get that, but did you have to go right then? I would have went with you!"
"I know!” she screamed. Of course, he would have gone with her. Somewhere between Star insisting they leave right away and her own admittance to needing him she became aware of the truth.
"So, why did you go?” He planted his hands on his hips. “Why did you leave without me unless you were testing me?"
"And you failed, didn't you?” She covered her mouth after the words came out.
"No. I gave up. There is a difference.” He sat back down and looked at her. “I was afraid of you leaving me when I went out to Bobby John's. Each day I went to work, I told myself I was ready if you weren't here when I got home. When it happened, I just lost it. I wanted to rip this house apart, but somewhere I think I knew. I honestly think I was running from myself now, not you."
"Why would you do that?” She lowered her hand from her mouth.
"When you have everything you want, your only fear is losing it. For so long, all I wanted was you. I stopped wanting anything for me. When I told you that day by the lake, I was right where I wanted to be. I didn't lie.” He looked up at her. “This is all I want. The ranch, you, a couple kids, to live and die on this land. What do you want?"
"This is about you running out. Don't turn it around on me.” She stood there angry. “You know damn good and well what I want. I don't want this baby to grow up without a father. I don't want to fight all the time. I don't want to end up like my mother!"
There it was.
"Oh God. Heath, I don't want to end up like her. It's scary. She was normal, and then out of nowhere, everything changed.” She began to cry. “I hated her, but I loved her. And now she's dead. I can't go back. I can't fix it. I told her never to call me again. She didn't. And now she can't."
"Are you afraid of being happy?” he asked.
"I don't know,” she answered truthfully.
"I am.” He held out a hand to her.
"Why?” She took his hand, and he pulled her into his lap. Cradling her like a child, she sobbed against his neck.
"If I have nothing, I have nothing to lose. I have you. I have everything. When this baby comes along, I have more. The fear of losing you, this child, I never realized what a chicken shit I was till I thought you left me.” He lifted her chin and leaned back to look at her. “You scare me sometimes."
"Yeah, well, same goes for you.” She sniffed. “What are two emotionally unstable people to do?"
He laughed. “Not give up. I can learn to trust you. Hell, I don't know if I ever trusted anyone, including you. You can learn to trust me. We have nine months to get it together, so we don't screw this kid up like our folks did us."
She smiled, sniffed. “It's more than just loving someone, isn't it?"
"Apparently so.” He placed his forehead against hers. “I want more than love."
"Me, too.” For the first time in her life, she realized love was one layer. Trust, faith, and effort made a good relationship. Heath loved her. She loved him, but they both carried so much baggage. Neither of them wanted to unload those fears and doubts on a new life, one they created. The responsibilities they faced were greater than the lust or passion they shared. They were officially grown-ups.
* * * *
"I thought last weekend was the big weekend.” Chance looked at Rafe.
"Soon.” He held up his hands. “Don't tell anyone all right?"
"My lips are sealed.” Chance handed him a plate covered in foil and closed the refrigerator. “You sure you don't want anything else? I'm finished for a few hours; then I'll be back to start dinner."
"No, this is great. You should come see the baby. He's trotting around like he owns the place.” The new horse brought a great deal of attention to the stables. The mother and her colt shared a private fenced in area that allowed them to go into their stable or out anytime they chose. The young male was a show horse by nature, prancing around when people came to look at them.
"I need a nap first.” Her body was tired.
"Okay. Take it easy.” He waved then headed out.
Chance headed toward the house when a loud rumbling caught her attention. She stopped and turned to see Heath pulling out of the barn on the big John Deere. The nap could wait.
"Come on up, little lady.” Heath held out his hand, and she climbed on board.
* * *
Visit www.teasepublishingllc.com for information on additional titles by this and other authors.