But she wanted it.
It took all her power not to scream out. Torres would stop, or maybe he wouldn’t. She didn’t want to find out either way. She needed this.
Her mind was blank: no thoughts, no feelings, only sensations. Everything was heightened, the feel of the cool wood on her cheek, the burning between thighs.
Torres’ hand stroked her clit. She knew from before what a gentle lover he could be, the way his tongue stroked her and his mouth made love to her. But this wasn’t like that. This wasn’t sweet or tender this was hard and fast. Before he had coaxed an orgasm from her, this time he was ripping it from her.
Pain and pleasure collided in her, confused her senses, she didn’t know where one started and the other ended, but she didn’t care. She closed her eyes and allowed her body to be claimed, her reason to be overwhelmed. She didn’t need control; she needed him.
Bright colours flashed behind her closed lids. Her thighs shook, she couldn’t stop the involuntary action or the way her hips bucked against him. An exquisite pressure built inside her, pushed higher by every thrust. Her breaths came in pants.
Somehow she was present enough not to moan or cry out as her climax built. Every time she needed to thrash and call his name, she concentrated on focusing the energy down but that made it feel even better and made her need to scream even greater. It was a vicious cycle, like a holding pattern of pleasure, taking her higher and higher. It was torture: a sweet unyielding torture.
And then she couldn’t keep it in any longer, a moan tore through her as her body shook and contracted around him.
With a final thrust, Torres climaxed, hot against her inner walls.
Beth’s hands were slick, her face burned, her body ached but she was completely satisfied. She was only vaguely aware of her panties being pulled up or her skirt being brought down. She wasn’t ready to move.
Torres pulled her down on his lap. He kissed her forehead. “Next time I’ll be gentle,” he promised, and no doubt he would be. She smiled at the thought of another time. Her sweet Torres was back, reappearing as quickly as he disappeared. She loved her sweet Torres; he was the one she ran to when the chips were down. He was the one who knew how she took her coffee and left her notes. But the other Torres made her lose herself, he challenged her and pushed her and fucked her until she screamed.
Lucky for her, she had had them both.
“You never let me get to the important part,” Torres said.
She shook her head. “If you add one more thing to the list of reasons I annoy you, I will crush your larynx like a Dixie cup. Black belt, remember?” To prove her point she laid both of her hands on his clavicles ready to strike.
Torres chucked. “How did I end up with such a feisty Gringa?”
“Its Karma for shooting people in the face.”
“That’s my kind of Karma.” He leaned down and kissed her. “Do you want to know the most annoying thing about you, the thing I really hate, the thing that made me drive hundreds of miles both directions?”
“Nope.” Beth shook her head.
“I knew you would.” He kissed her again. She loved the feel of his coarse beard against her face. “Ask me.”
“No, I’m not going to ask you. I can live my whole life quite happily not knowing what else bothers you about me. Trust me, the not pretty was enough.”
He held her face in his hand. “Beautiful. Don’t forget that part. You’re the most beautiful woman I have ever met and I will break the legs of anyone who says differently.”
Beth smiled. She knew she wasn’t beautiful but she felt beautiful when she was with him. She felt it in the way he looked at her and how he touched her. There was no doubt she was beautiful to him.
“Fine,” she sighed in exasperation. “Tell me.”
“Te amo, Gatita.” I love you. Torres kissed her cheek again.
Beth pushed away from him. She shook her head. “No. You don’t need to say that.”
Torres shrugged his shoulders. “Suit yourself. But I do. You are a complete pain in the ass but I love you.”
“Really?” She couldn’t even let herself begin to hope it.
“Yes really. You’re a big pain in the ass. Huge.” Torres stretched out his arms to demonstrate his point.
Beth slapped his chest with the back of her hand. “You know what I’m talking about.”
He grabbed her hand and pressed a kiss to the back of her knuckles. “I love you. Let’s not mention it too much because it’s still kind of a sore point. It still pisses me off. Life would be so much simpler if I didn’t. But I love you, Beth, completely.”
“Really?” Beth asked again.
“Woman, which part aren’t you getting?”
She raised her shoulders. “The whole thing is too much to process. It’s been a hard day.” God it had been a hard day. And then a weird day. And then an incredibly erotic day. No wonder she was struggling…
“Take your time to figure it out. I’ll be here, just loving you and being annoyed about it.”
She shook her head. “What is there to be annoyed about? I love you, and I have for a while and I am not annoyed about it. I’m a little scared,” she admitted. “No, I’m a lot scared, but I’m not annoyed.”
Torres gathered her against his chest. His strong heartbeat tapped against her. “Let’s not fight it. You be scared and I will be annoyed, as long as we still have great sex, I can work with that.”
Beth sighed. “OK.” She tried to relax but doubt niggled at her. “What are you saying, Torres? Are we dating now like officially? I should tell Patterson; he is my partner and in his mind that means getting to know who I’m sleeping with. And—”
Torres cut her off with a searing kiss. “I love your lists. So neurotic, my crazy, messy, scared woman.”
“Yes, yes, we have established that I annoy you.”
“Again with you missing the important point. I love your crazy. I missed your crazy. It is the reason I turned back today.”
“And here I was thinking, it was because I am amazing in bed.”
Torres smiled. “Oh you are, but that would only bring me back temporarily. Your crazy is what is keeping me here.”
Beth’s stomach did a flip. Was he saying what she thought he was saying? “Are you staying in Texas?”
Torres nodded. “Or, I might try California. That is where my very neurotic woman comes from. I’m thinking we should try that for a while.”
Beth smiled her heart was so full it ached. “Really, Torres? You want to go to Sacramento? Don’t get your hopes up. It’s not a pretty place. It is flat and smoggy.”
“I don’t care. If that’s where you are, that is where I am going to be. I love you, Beth. But it’s more than that. I don’t want to live without you. I can’t. I’m happy when I’m with you. I didn’t even realise how angry and bitter I was until I met you and I remembered how to feel again. I need you.”
Hot pressure built between her eyes. “I love you, Torres.”
He laughed. “I hope you learn to call me by my first name before we have kids, because that would just be weird. For them, not me, I love your crazy.”
Beth’s nose scrunched at the thought. “You want kids?”
“Turns out I do. What about you?”
Beth shifted so she could face him properly. He already knew she was crazy so she may as well lay it all out there. “Yes and no. In theory I would love a baby or four, but reality is a different beast. I don’t want to do it on my own. Not that I couldn’t. My mom did it and she was amazing. But that’s not what I want. I don’t want my kids to miss having a dad. I don’t want some guy making promises to them and then leaving.” She stopped. She felt so close to Torres now and she didn’t want to ruin it by showing the depths of her crazy.
Torres nodded. “I see. You don’t know if you can ever trust anyone enough to have children. You don’t trust me.”
Beth tensed, that is exactly what she was saying. She wished she wasn’t, but that wa
s exactly what she was saying. “I’m sorry.”
Torres kissed the top of her head. “Don’t be sorry. Trust is earned. I’m here for the long hall, Gatita. I hope that one day you can trust me enough to know I am not going to leave or screw up like your dad, but if you don’t, that’s OK too, I will just keep loving you and being slightly annoyed about it.”
“Only slightly?” she asked optimistically. She could work with slightly annoyed.
“Great sex really takes the edge off it, good thing you’re good in bed.”
Beth smiled. “And on desks apparently.”
“I look forward to discovering all the other places you’re good. How much time do we have until Patterson gets worried and breaks down the door?”
She sighed as he kissed her neck. “That reminds me. What time is it? I need to go pick up my family from the airport. Do you want to meet them?” she asked without thinking. Maybe it was too soon for a family meet and greet. Torres had only just decided that he wanted to be part of her life.
“Of course I want to meet your family.”
Beth smiled. She wanted her family to meet Torres and she wanted him to be able to get to know her mom before she was completely destroyed by Alzheimer’s. She pushed the thought away. There would be a time to be sad about her mom’s future later. Today she was just going to be happy and loved. “I have to warn you my mom isn’t great at night. That is when her symptoms get worse. I wish you could see her in the morning.”
“Beth, I am going to wake up by your side every day for the rest of my life. I am sure I will get the opportunity to see your mom when she is on top form.”
“Really?” she asked just to be sure.
“You’re really going to have to stop checking I really mean everything I say. We got a lot of years ahead of us and that will get old quick.”
Beth took a deep cleansing breath. “You’re right. OK, this is me dialling back the crazy.”
“Don’t dial it back too far. I love your crazy.”
Beth smiled. “That’s good. ’Cause I’m having a hard time keeping the crazy in.”
“Just let it out,” he laughed.
Chapter Twenty
“Mom!” Beth squealed and waved frantically when she spotted her family in the arrivals lounge. She balanced Alejandra on her hip. The baby waved her own set of plastic keys.
Paige ran towards them. “Oh my God, that is the cutest baby I have ever seen. Oh Beth, I love her. Ooh want one.”
Beth laughed. “I know, I love her too. She is the sweetest baby ever. She never stops smiling, even in her sleep.”
Her mom reached out and kissed Beth’s cheek. Her mom’s hair was cut shorter than it had been at Christmas. It now barely reached her shoulders, but she still looked beautiful and youthful. “You watch her sleeping, you know what this means don’t you? That is the universe calling to you. She wants you to have a baby. There is a spirit waiting for you.”
Beth smiled. “Tell the universe, she got the wrong number.”
“OK Pretty Girl, only you know what is best for you. Well you and your higher self. Have you had your chakras cleansed?”
“Not lately, Mom. Maybe you could do that for me.” Beth didn’t believe in chakras or the universal life force but she believed in her mom. If her mom’s meditations and healings could make Beth half as wonderful as her mom, she would try them.
“How was your flight?”
Paige rolled her eyes. “Great. We nearly missed our flight. Mom couldn’t find her passport.”
Beth eyes narrowed. “Mom, you don’t need a passport to fly to Texas.”
“Exactly,” Paige said.
Ruth sighed. “And I don’t even have a passport. I just got a little confused.”
Beth touched her mom’s arm. “That’s OK, Mom. We all get a little confused sometimes. Tonight I couldn’t find my car keys. Turns out I had put them in the freezer. I don’t even know what I was doing in the freezer in the first place.”
“Getting ice cream,” her mom and sister said in unison.
“Yeah probably,” Beth admitted. “Did you check any luggage?”
Paige shook her head.
“OK great. I’m so glad you guys are here.” Beth could hardly contain her excitement. Neither of them had seen her house. And of course neither of them had met Torres.
Beth strapped Alejandra in her car seat. “So,” she began. “I have some news.”
“You’re answering the call of the universe and having a baby?” her mom guessed. There was a mischievous glint in her eye.
“No. I am on the pill so tell the universe to go ahead and call someone else.” Beth turned on her blinker.
“I was on the pill when I got pregnant with you.”
Beth’s head snapped in her mom’s direction. She nearly missed her exit. “Seriously, how did I not know that?”
“Because I never told you. I never wanted you to think you were unwanted. But you, Pretty Girl, were a surprise gift from the universe. Best present I ever got, once I decided not to give it back.”
Beth’s mouth dropped open. “Seriously, Mom. You didn’t want me?”
“As soon as I saw you I wanted you more than I had ever wanted anything in my life. You were the best friend that I never knew I wanted. The point I am making, Pretty Girl, is if you really don’t want the universe gifting you a child, use condoms too.”
Beth shook her head and smiled. “OK, I will keep that in mind.”
Paige leaned forward in her seat. “Does your hot Mexican guy use condoms? And what size are we talking?”
“Paige! There is a baby in the car.” Beth shot her sister an exasperated glance.
She could see Paige wink at her in the rear-view mirror. “Yes so this conversation would be entirely inappropriate if she understood anything we were saying. But she doesn’t, so is that a yes or a no to the condoms?”
“Seriously stop it. Or that will be her first word. My God can you imagine?”
Paige laughed. “Fine. What sort of prophylactics are you using?” Paige tickled the baby’s tummy. “You won’t be repeating that word will you? Oh no you won’t. Too many syllables, huh.”
Her family was certifiably insane. She adored them, but they were crazy. “Tonight we are having dinner with Torres. Please no talk of condom sizes or the history of vibrators or prophylactics of any description. And no trying to cleanse his chakras.” Beth shuddered at the thought.
“Now why do you think he needs his chakras cleansed? Do you feel there is a blockage?” her mother asked.
Beth shrugged her shoulders. “I have no idea. But let’s leave them blocked if they are. He doesn’t need any more universal life force running through him.”
“I bet he doesn’t,” Paige said. “Not after what you told me.”
“Ooh what did she tell you?” her mom asked.
Beth held up her hand. “Y’all can talk about my sex life when I’m not around. But not in front of Torres. Or the baby!”
“Is he repressed?” Paige said sympathetically.
Beth rolled her eyes. “No he is not repressed. He’s…he’s…” Beth struggled to find the right word. ‘Complicated’ sprang to mind, but that would only invite questions from her family. “He is just Torres.”
“Ahh,” Paige said. “You love him. You do, admit it. You want us on our best behaviour so we don’t scare him off because you love him.”
Beth nodded. “I do. I really do. He is amazing. I hope you guys like him. I’m sure you will. Alejandra loves him.”
“That is a good sign,” Ruth interjected. “Cats and babies have a special intuition. But you know Beth it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of him. It is your relationship, your life.”
Beth smiled. Her mom was speaking allegorically; the comment was about her dad. Normally Beth would be annoyed, but her mom was right. People had to decide for themselves what they wanted from life. Her mom, for whatever reason, wanted her dad. And Beth wanted Torres. Simple as that.
&n
bsp; She couldn’t help smiling when she thought about Torres. He’d gone home this afternoon to shave and change his clothes. He had promised not to shave his head. He looked less scary with a bit of hair. But the new scar wasn’t doing him any favours in that department.
“We’re meeting him at seven at the Golden Dragon. Don’t worry, Mom, they don’t use MSG, I’ve checked.”
When they arrived at the restaurant, a table was ready for them near the front window. The waiter gave them tea while they waited for Torres.
“You did tell him seven, right?” Paige asked.
Beth nodded. She pulled out her phone to check he hadn’t messaged her since this afternoon when he texted that he loved her. She read the message for the nineteenth time and smiled. She already knew she would never delete the message.
It was already 8:15. Alejandra was snoring softly on her shoulder. “Let’s just order. He probably got held up at work.” It was a lie. He was going home and then straight here. He wasn’t going back to Mexico so there was no work to be holding him up. Beth wouldn’t let herself think the worst this time. She needed to break that cycle. Sometimes people were just late. There wasn’t necessarily anything sinister about being late.
Beth dialled his number but it went to voice mail. Her eyes narrowed.
“Don’t do that thing with your eyes, Beth, it wrinkles your forehead and you don’t make enough for botox.” Paige smiled sweetly.
Beth rubbed the deep ridge between her eyes. “Lucky my baby sister is going to be a wildly successful veterinarian. She will pay for all my fillers and botox.” Beth tried to smile but she was too distracted thinking about Torres.
The rest of the night Beth sat mainly in silence, listening to her sister talk, and periodically checking to make sure her phone was still switched on.
Blurring the Line Page 24