by Travis Tufo
"I...uhh, I have something for you," Charles said averting his attention from Eli's now clenched gut. It might have been his hunger creating a type of mirage, but Eli swore he could see steam coming off the donuts. His imagination took him back to the commercials he remembered seeing on TV; a happy family walks into Dunkin’ Donuts and is served the unrealistic, yet deliciously steaming batch of fresh hot pastries.
"Eli?" Charles’ voice brought Eli out of his mind before the droplets of drool started to roll down his face.
"Oh, sorry. I haven't eaten too much lately."
"Well I'm sorry. You know you get a healthy discount on the food here right?" Five percent is a healthy discount? Eli thought to himself. He was too fixated on the donuts to get mad over the statement or even throw a comeback at Charles.
"What is it you had for me?"
"Just some merchandise I need you to bring out of the back room and put out on the floor." Eli took the list of products. After looking it over, he realized that most of the things items were stored on larger pallets, meaning he would need to use the electric power jack to handle the extreme weights. Eli however, was not certified to do so.
"Uhh…Charles, you do know that these items..."
"I know Eli, I made the damn list. Could you just do this already?" Charles interrupted Eli mid-sentence and waddled his large body back over to the table to snag a pink frosted donut.
"You're the only one in the store who can use a power jack, you have to do it." Charles had already downed his first donut; it must have taken him no more than two bites. He seemed to have mastered the art of devouring the delicious pastries. Eli was almost too preoccupied watching Charles make donuts disappear to hear what his boss had to say.
"Look Eli, I know you're more than capable of handling that thing."
"So let me take the class to get certified, and all the other classes to do all the other stupid shit in this store." Eli's temper was getting the best of him.
"You know I can't do that."
"Why?"
"Because this store doesn't have the money."
"You mean because being certified comes with a mandatory raise?" Eli snapped back like lightning. Charles had nothing to say.
"That's right, that extra few, and I mean few hundred dollars I'd make a year would come out of your already probably ridiculous income, huh? Handle it yourself." Eli shoved the list back into his boss' chest. Sprinkles were falling from Charles' wide open mouth. Eli left the office, letting the door slam behind him. Within moments, he was back in the storeroom with Kevin with a surge of fresh energy.
"I hate that round bastard!" Eli roared, pushing through the two large metal doors into a warehouse filled with eight-foot high pallets everywhere.
"Wow. I guess we really don't get a whole lot done here.”
"What do you mean by that?" a voice came from somewhere unknown in the large, cluttered storage area.
"Kevin, where are you?" Eli started spinning around looking for him. The lights went out, leaving the room in complete darkness.
"Very funny, Kevin. Turn the damned lights back on." There was no reply. In the darkness, he heard loud footsteps coming towards him from behind and between the tall stacks of wrapped merchandise.
"This is how people get hurt by accident, man," Eli said as he reached for the first thing he could find, which was a hefty wrench. There was a low moan, much too low to sound like Kevin’s tone.
"Look man...it would be a damn shame if you pull this jump scare on me and I swing this wrench at your face out of fear. You’re ugly enough as it is without your nose bashed in," he joked, trying to hide his panic. Just as he finished speaking to the darkness, a group of heavy footsteps started directly for Eli, head on from across the room. Eli clenched his entire body, holding the wrench in both hands with a grip that even a tractor couldn't pull apart. He was certain that it was just Kevin pulling a prank, yet he felt real fear. Perhaps it was the darkness, the feeling of unknown, but with each step speeding towards him the terror grew.
"Stop!" Eli erupted, lifting the wrench to a swinging position over his shoulder.
"What the hell are you yelling about in here alone in the dark?" Kevin pushed through the large metal doors behind Eli and switched on the lights. Eli didn't even turn to look at Kevin. He was certain that just a moment ago there had been someone or something face to face with him.
Eli began to relax his stance, but stayed alert and still.
"Eli? Eli! Dude, you're starting to scare me, man." Eli didn't respond.
"Let’s just…just get to work man, I’m...I guess I’m exhausted. I can’t deal with stuff like this right now."
"Yeah, that's probably a good idea. Freak." Kevin laughed. For the next couple of hours they worked uninterrupted breaking down the pallets of freight and readying it for the next group of people to come in and help them put it on shelves. Every now and then Eli would peek around the corner of a pallet to make sure there wasn't someone hiding there. It was safe to say he was paranoid, but anyone would be if they’d heard what he had in a blacked out maze of pallets.
IT WAS A smooth two hours of straight working before a few loud buzzer rings echoed through the store and Eli and Kevin locked eyes. There was a bell for employees to push when they showed up before the store was open so that someone would let them in.
"You know that fat bastard isn't going to get it, so it's either you or me!" Eli yelled across the warehouse to Kevin.
"I guess there’s only one true way to settle something of this magnitude."
"So intense." Eli and Kevin simultaneously lifted both hands into the air straight out in front of them. They were just close enough to make out what each other’s hands were doing. They faced off. The buzzer rang again. The sound signaled them to quickly go through the motions of “rock paper scissors.” Kevin ended on paper. Of course Eli, with his marvelous luck, ended on rock.
"Seriously? We need a new way to settle these things!" Eli yelled as he ran for the door as whoever was outside was impatiently leaning on the bell now. Eli sprinted around the registers and opened the locked front doors for the assistant manager, Stacy.
"Nice of someone to open this damn thing."
"Nice to see you too, Stacy. Actually I’m quite surprised Charles didn’t scream at us to get the door over the intercom." Eli looked outside making sure she was the only one out there before he closed the doors behind her. As she walked away, Eli lingered. He enjoyed the sudden view of the sun rising; recently he found himself too caught up with everyday life to notice the beauty in the smaller things around him. Just before he could really soak in the moment, a high pitched shriek stole his attention. His neck nearly snapped looking for where the scream had come from; it must have been Stacy—he was sure it was a woman's vocals. He ran around the entrance; something upstairs must have startled her, or Charles had played a prank on her, Eli thought. He hurried to the office to make sure everything was okay. He could hear Kevin running up on him from behind, so he immediately knew it hadn’t been him messing around.
"What the hell was that?" Kevin yelled as he neared the front of the store.
"No idea," Eli said as he made it just one step up before Stacy came running down faster than she had ever moved in her entire life. Her face was pale, and she covered her mouth with both hands in disgust. "Stacy! What's wrong?" Eli didn't get an answer. She rushed past him like a rocket, nearly knocking him over. She made it to the service desk before she finally stopped to suck in some air; she was hyperventilating to an extreme. Kevin went to her and put his hand on her shoulder. Eli remained on the stairs listening to Kevin talk her down.
"Stacy. Take a breath. What’s going on?" At first she hesitated, but with a tear in her eye, she managed to mutter, “Ch...Charles.” Eli shivered as he heard her. He bolted up the stairs, skipping every other step, making it to the top in record time. He continued his stride down the hallway to the office. He slowed in time to grab the knob, but it was locked. He threw his shoul
der into it, but to no avail, this door was built to aid in protecting the deposit safe during a robbery, so it wasn't going down easy. Eli stepped back.
"Charles, can you hear me?" he yelled.
"I'm coming in, get away from the door." Eli lifted his right leg into the air, and with tremendous force, he kicked the door repeatedly. The intense pounding could be heard downstairs. Kevin reacted quickly, and instead of continuing to comfort Stacy, he rushed to see if Eli was alright. Two more kicks and Eli felt as if he was getting nowhere, the door just wouldn't budge. He stopped to gather his thoughts and consider his options. Could he pick the lock? Should he find some object to break the handle? He was too panicked to think of going down to grab Stacy’s key. His plan resorted back to brute force. He ran over to the end of the hallway; he made eye contact with Kevin who was just making it up the stairs.
"Is everything alright?" Kevin saw the look in Eli’s eyes.
"I'll tell you in a second," Eli replied. He cocked his head back towards the door and got into a running stance, much like a track sprinter.
"Oh shit..." Kevin had a good idea what was about to go down. Eli pushed his back leg hard into the ground, giving him a strong start. He pounded his feet into the floor making his way towards the door like a freight train. With great form, as if he’d been practicing his entire life for a moment like this one, which, in a way, he had been, he jumped into the air, twisting his left shoulder toward the ground and aligning his chest and back with the hallway walls. He pulled his legs into his gut in midair, and with all the might in his entire body, he thrust his legs towards the office door, perfectly executing the world's greatest drop kick. His gracefulness was unmatched. When his feet made contact with the door, the hinges practically exploded, releasing the door from its screws. Eli hit the ground hard, but on his way down he caught a grim sight. The air was knocked out of him, but that didn't stop him from getting back to his feet to see Charles lying dead on the floor. Kevin, who hadn't yet seen the lifeless body, ran up the hallway yelling:
"Goddamn, I hope the cameras caught that shit!" Eli didn't reply. By that time, Kevin had seen the body.
"Oh…My…God," Kevin and Eli said nearly in unison. Eli reached for his gut finally regaining some breath. They stared, open mouthed, at Charles. It was the first corpse the young men had ever seen. It was sickening; it was also entirely fascinating. After all, it was a man they both despised, and his death had not been peaceful. His face was dark purple, veins pushed to the skin; his eyes were bloodshot and rolled back into his head. It was undeniably a grotesque scene, yet as if a small cosmic joke, there was a small dab of pink frosting and three sprinkles still on his upper lip.
"That fat asshole died choking on a donut." Eli smirked, but it quickly left his face as the realization of death was finally catching up to him. Kevin wanted to laugh but he couldn't, he desperately wanted to, but just couldn't find it in him. They stepped away, and at that moment they heard sirens outside. Stacy must have called the cops.
WITHIN MOMENTS, THERE was loud banging on the store windows. Eli stumbled quickly downstairs, passing Kevin who took one step at a time. Stacy had already let the cops in. Three officers in blue made their way upstairs in a hasty manner. The whole while, Stacy remained downstairs by the service desk. She called her husband to let him know what happened. Then she made calls to everyone else who was scheduled to work. She informed them that the store would be closed today, and possibly even tomorrow. Eli overheard her say this and smiled. She caught his little grin before he could wipe it off his face.
"What, might I ask, could possibly be so funny at a time like this?" Stacy was clearly angered.
"Well, it's just I don't think I've ever seen this store close. I mean, I've had to come here in the middle of blizzards to sell nothing to no one.”
"This is not the time to be snide. Show some respect."
"Respect? That's a good one. Someone telling me to show respect to the most disrespectful man I've ever made acquaintance with."
"Eli, seriously. We should be grieving right now, or at least keep our thoughts to ourselves."
"The only people that should be grieving are the people at the KFC down the street and the entire Dunkin’ Donuts franchise. You know, they just lost their best customer." Eli wasn't trying to be funny; he wanted to come off as heartless. It was easier than dealing with what he’d just seen. And in any case, he felt it was right.
"I can't listen to this right now." Stacy stepped away and headed for the door. Eli didn't try to stop her, instead he went upstairs to see how things were going. Kevin, who finally let it sink in that his boss was a corpse, was just standing there speechless, ignoring the officer's questions.
"Is there anything I can help you with sir?" Eli interrupted the officer’s feeble attempts at reaching Kevin, he was pretty far gone at this point, perhaps in shock, or even just in deep denial.
"Well, if you're any more talkative than this one, then perhaps."
"I'm your man," Eli replied to the officer in charge.
"First of all, when did you first see the body?"
"Well, Stacy, the woman who called you guys, found him like this about ten minutes ago. She locked the door behind her and ran down to us, screaming."
"Who opened the store with this man?"
"Me and Mr. talkative over there. Kevin is his name."
“So you two were the last people with him while he was alive."
"That is true, as far as we know." The officer seemed to have more to jot down when Eli answered that particular question.
"What? Are we some kind of prime suspects in a choking related death?"
"I don't know what happened here. Until I figure it out, who knows what you really are? Why is the door busted off its hinges?"
"I broke the door down to get to him."
"Why not get a key?"
"Why not get a key? Hmm...I'm not sure, Officer. Maybe because I felt rushed to get in? Or maybe it was because I wanted to execute the world's most fabulous drop kick."
"You dropped kicked this door down?" An officer on his knee next to the body asked in amazement.
"I sure did."
"Hey, you stick to my questions,” the cop said to Eli, “and you stick to your job." The chief had no patience for his men bantering with witnesses. Eli, Kevin, and Stacy were questioned profusely for over an hour so that the officers could come to a reasonable conclusion about what had happened to Charles. After what seemed like a never ending trail of questions, their adrenaline rush from seeing a dead body died down. Eli and Kevin were told to go home as the store wouldn't be opening today. It sure as hell wasn't the company's idea; they would have kept Renfield’s open even if the entire staff were killed in a robbery. But the police ordered the store to be shut down for the day so that they could wrap up their investigation and rule out any possibility that Charles was murdered, but had in fact killed himself gorging on donuts, a seemingly appropriate way to go, really. Eli was more surprised at the store shutting down than he was at seeing Charles lying dead on the ground. As long as he had been there he'd never seen Renfield’s not open, the only exception being Christmas day. One day out of the whole year that store wouldn't open and it was only because they didn’t want to deal with angry Christians
Chapter Four
ELI TOOK NO time getting home. He saw this as a tiny vacation; after all, he was getting paid for the hours he was supposed to work that day.
"Why couldn't he have died at the beginning of my shift? That way I could have slept in or something." Eli laughed at his joke. Maybe to some it would have seemed like a "too early" bash on Charles, but he was being very serious. He reached for his radio to turn it up loud as he began to speed up towards home. Of course once his radio hit volume level twelve, it crapped out on him.
"You have got to be kidding me." Now, instead of jamming out to tunes on his way home, he was stuck in silence.
"Well, I guess this is better than Taylor Swift or Maroon 5." In what
seemed like just a few minutes, even without a radio, Eli was back in the parking lot of his hotel. He parked right next to the building and proceeded to get out. The squeaking of his door attracted the attention of the same drug dealing kid from the night before. Eli sarcastically waved to the kid. Naturally, his wave was met with a very forceful middle finger.
"You have a good day in kindergarten now!" Eli shouted out as he entered the building, just in time to avoid hearing the vulgar response. He made his normal route to his apartment, unlocked the door, gave a big sigh of relief, headed straight for the couch, and fell onto it. Eli, even as a child, wasn't big on watching TV, and his current financial status only made things worse since he couldn't afford cable. The free channels consisted of two news stations and a Spanish MTV type channel. Eli gave a big “what the hell” and switched on the news. After a few seconds of hearing about the weather and political bull, he stood up and headed for his kitchen. What a surprise, he thought when once again he found nothing in his fridge. He stood there for a few moments contemplating going to the store to get something to eat. Before he made up his mind, he heard the news anchor interrupt whatever it was he had been talking about to report on some little girl and a group of lumberjacks in Texas. He listened just long enough to hear that some serious, but unexplainable thing had happened to them and that they were all in critical condition.
"Ahh, great. Ebola is back already." Eli paid no real attention to the story; all he cared about was his stomach. The image of pink frosting on his boss’s blue lips flashed across his mind. He grabbed his keys and his very empty wallet and headed out the door. His first thought was to go to the grocery store to grab some real food to bring home and cook with, but all he wanted was instant relief, so he went where all struggling young people go...McDonald’s. The dollar menu, by this point, must have saved thousands of college students and poor families from eating ramen and Easy-Mac every single night. Eli wasn't crazy about eating unhealthy fast food, but his stomach was louder than his car, so he didn’t care, who really cared? He made his order and drove to the next window as he was instructed to do. When he pulled up, he was met with an acne covered young man surely working while in high school.