“Then I’ll have to make sure I pay attention to every detail you teach me. I don’t want to miss something and disappoint you.”
“I don’t think you could ever disappoint me, wench.” Brett hesitated, suddenly uncertain. He hid it by pulling away to dispose of the condom.
Andie noticed his distress. “What are you thinking?”
“About Jesse.”
“You want to talk about Jesse now? We’re here like this and I can’t wait for you to get hard again and you seriously want to say something about him?”
“He told me how you kissed him, Andie.”
“Did he tell you why he let me?” Brett nodded, clearly not comfortable with the explanation. “I felt like I was dying inside. I was so crushed when he told me that you and Tish were getting married. It destroyed me and Jesse knew it. I reached out to the only person who knew how I felt and did the first thing that came to mind.”
“I know I have no right to be jealous, but…”
She giggled. “How can you even consider being jealous? Jesse was a lifeline so I would see that I really wasn’t dead. It was a good kiss but nothing like ours.”
“He said pretty much the same thing. For a while, I thought it would be good for you two to hook up. When I was bent on destroying my life, I thought he would be able to stop me from dragging you down with me. Yeah, I will admit it now. I wanted you then but I was fighting against it any way I could.”
“Sh.” Andie kissed him tenderly. “Jesse will always be our friend. He never gave up on getting us together and, for that, I will always treasure him. But you, Brett Hudson, my ferocious beast, are my life. I need you more than I need to breathe so don’t waste any more time thinking about something that never even existed.”
“You’re too good for me.”
“No, I’m perfect for you, just like you are for me. Roll to your back. Let me see if I can make us both happy.”
Brett did as she asked and watched her face as she sheathed him and then moved on top of him. “Go for it, wench. Tell me if you need me to do anything.”
Andie rode him, adjusting her angle and pace as her excitement grew. Soon, she was squirming wildly, out of control with passion. “Oh wow,” she exclaimed, slumping on his chest.
“Wow is right,” he agreed, caressing her back. “You are incredible.”
“But I didn’t make you come with me.” She frowned. “I didn’t take care of you.”
“Wait. Listen carefully.” He raised her chin. “Seeing you like that is the best thing in the world. Never apologize for feeling pleasure. In case you haven’t noticed, you have the ability to come unlimited times whereas I require some time to recuperate. I wouldn’t be much of a man if I denied you any opportunity to enjoy yourself. I could watch you come all day, wench. You’re so hot when you let go. Such a tremendous contrast to your usual calm demeanor. And I’m the only one who knows your secret. I’m the only one who can take you higher than you ever dreamed of. You’re the only one who makes me this hard and forceful. The more often I feel you come around my cock, the more I want to find new ways to take you. Do it again, wench. Let me see you work yourself into a frenzy while you ride me. I’m hard and ready to satisfy you.”
Brett’s words had the desired effect as they wound through her mind. When he shifted beneath her, Andie seemed about explode from that one tiny movement. She threw her head back, pushing her breasts forward. When his hands covered her, Andie clutched his arms for support. Feeling daring, she urged one hand lower until he found her clit. She guided his fingers to rub her, stimulating her beyond belief as he took her over the edge again.
“More,” Brett demanded, pumping upward. “I have to see that again.”
Andie’s hand found her breasts as Brett’s hands settled on her thighs. His thumbs opened her, brushing her hardened flesh each time she moved over him. He lifted her faster until Andie was thrashing on top of him. “I can’t,” she gasped.
“You can.” He demanded more, making her continue until she was sobbing with pleasure. When he knew she was beyond control, Brett slammed her against him and held her motionless. “Don’t move,” he commanded as her muscles clenched ceaselessly, squeezing his shaft intensely, forcing his body to climax with hers. When Brett finally remembered to breathe, Andie lay panting on his chest. Somehow, he managed to deal with the condom and cover their sweat-drenched bodies before they chilled completely.
Andie snuggled as she hugged Brett tightly. “I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
“Me either.” He never wanted to let her go. “My God, Andie, that was unbelievable.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“I told myself I was never going to bring it up but I know you’ve done this plenty of times. I was serious when I told you I don’t have much experience. If I don’t do something right, I want you to tell me so I do better next time.”
“Stop.” Brett tightened his arms even more. “Do you trust me?” She nodded. “Do you believe that I won’t lie to you just like I believe you?” Another nod. “You’re right, I am experienced. A few weeks ago I would have told you that I’ve had some great sex. I would have thought I was being truthful too. But I assure you, Andrea Sloan, you, in your uniquely wanton yet innocent way, have already taken me higher and given me more pleasure than I ever found with anyone else.
“I really thought that what I did was good before. I thought I was a considerate lover. I thought most of my partners would agree that I gave freely before I took for myself. But my God, wench, you give new meaning to the word pleasure. No one I was ever with is even close to your league and, as of the first time I touched you in my kitchen, all others ceased to exist for me. I thought we were better than good that night but adding love to the mix takes this to a new level. I know now that all my previous experiences were only meant to provide us with a starting point. I will draw on them to guide us until our bodies take over and lead us where we’re meant to be.”
“You’re not just saying that to make me feel adequate, are you? I know you won’t lie to me but I also think you’d try to keep from hurting my feelings if you can.”
“I would try to find a way to spare your feelings as much as possible but I won’t ever lie even to do that when something is as important as this is. Think about what we just did. I’ve never done exactly that before. I didn’t even know I could be perfectly still and reach completion like we just did.”
A tear slid down Andie’s cheek. “I was so scared you’d think I was boring because I don’t know much.”
“Somehow, I don’t think you, sex, and boring will ever be included in the same sentence. Follow your body and do what feels good. Take what feels good. Tell me if you want something, from either of us. That night, in the shower, you were curious and wanted to explore. It may have been the first time you touched anyone like that but you excited me. Tearing your clothes turned me on instantly. I never wanted a woman badly enough to do that before either. I can guarantee I’ll be doing that again so if there’s something you’re particularly attached to, make sure you tell me. I’m insatiable around you already and we’re just getting to know each other. I want to explore so many things with you that I don’t know where to start. I want to lock us away and indulge every fantasy we can imagine.”
“Me too.” She giggled.
“So you have fantasies other than having my hands on you?”
“Oh yeah.” She blushed.
“Don’t be shy with me, wench. We have a lifetime to play and I intend to play with you as often as you let me. Tell me one.”
“I can’t.” She squirmed but he held her where she was.
“Stay here. I won’t force you. Just remember that when you’re ready, all you have to do is say so. Until then, I have plenty of games to keep us entertained.”
“Will this always be a game?”
“Doesn’t have to be. I’m sure we’ll meet, naked, in our bed and make love like average
people do sometimes. After we have kids we’ll sneak off while they’re at ball practice and have lusty sex in the middle of the afternoon because we’ve both been too busy or too tired to find time for each other. We’ll come home at lunch for a quickie because we’re so hot that we won’t be able to resist. We’ll call in sick and spend the entire day in bed, fondling each other with lazy hands that keep our bodies humming with anticipation. But, my adventurous wench, we will always possess the ability to step into a role and experience new heights together. Even when we’re old and tired and our bodies are wrinkled and slow, we’ll still be able to ignite a fire in each other that only our shared passion can quench.”
“Oh man, are you good,” she sighed.
“That’s not just some line. I mean every word of it. Don’t you believe me?”
“I want to. With all my heart, I want that to be true.”
“But?”
“But I’m not sure happily ever after really exists.”
“I wasn’t either until you called Jordan’s tonight. He and Kiley seem to have found it. Same with Shane and Alyssa. I admit I had my doubts even after they got together. You make me believe that anything is possible. Are you going to marry me?”
“Wh-what did you just say?” Her eyes were huge. “You didn’t just ask me to marry you?”
“Actually, that’s exactly what I did. I love you. You love me. I can’t picture life without you anymore. It feels right when I think of you as my wife.
“Brett.” She slipped away from him when his arms loosened.
“You’re scaring me.” He watched her wrap a quilt around her body as she faced away from him. “Andie?”
“Um, I think I’ll get cleaned up and find us something to eat.” She pulled on the door, forgetting that it was locked.
“Andie.” Brett stood behind her and rested his hands on her shoulders. “I’m sorry if I’m moving too fast. I didn’t mean to rush you. I’d hoped you wanted the same thing. Talk to me.”
“I can’t open the door,” she sobbed, still tugging on it.
Brett snagged the key and reached around her to put it in the lock. He stepped back, sensing she needed space even though his first reaction was to keep her locked in until she explained why she was so upset that he’d asked her to marry him.
Chapter Thirty-One
Brett grabbed a quick shower in the guest bathroom, giving Andie privacy. He left a pair of sweats and a T-shirt on the bed where she would see them as soon as she opened the door and went to the kitchen.
Andie found him staring out the window with his back to the door. “Um, hi,” she said timidly.
“Hi,” Brett turned, taking note that she was wearing his well-worn, soft flannel shirt instead of what he’d left for her.
“I hope you don’t mind.” She glanced down.
“Not at all. I made some sandwiches. What would you like to drink?”
“Anything is fine.” She took half a sandwich and perched on the window seat instead of sitting at the table.
Brett joined her after pouring two glasses of juice. He ate silently, waiting for her to speak.
“I guess I should say something,” she began.
“If you want to.” He shrugged, trying to appear relaxed.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry about what? I’m a little confused here.”
“You really surprised me, bringing up marriage like that.”
“Obviously.”
“It’s all too much for me at the moment.” Andie finally met his eyes. “I had a dream the night I met you. In it, we were married and had a family and were very happy. It was so perfect. I thought it would always be just a dream. When you were talking about our kids being at ball practice and growing old together, my head started to spin. When you asked if I would marry you, I thought I’d wake up and this would all be just a dream again.”
“So you didn’t pull away from me because you don’t want me?”
“No! That’s not it at all. I heard you, making all my dreams come true and I almost ran because I was afraid to believe that you were serious. My life was always plain, uneventful. Since I came to stay with Sadie it’s become almost surreal. I feel like I’m a stranger, living in someone else’s body.
“Think about it. I don’t send anonymous emails, hoping to get someone to notice me. I don’t wake up in the middle of the night, hot and bothered from the dreams I started having about some man who wants nothing to do with me. I don’t turn to mush when anyone speaks to me. I don’t try to buy someone’s company so he’s forced to spend some time with me. I don’t pretend to be asleep so I can flash my panties at anyone especially when they’re just being nice. I don’t force my way into houses and beg for engaged men to use my body. Handsome men do not plan elaborate schemes to get me to talk to them. No one ever even considers giving me anything remotely valuable let alone an entire life’s work. I don’t have amazingly hot, wild sex with multiple orgasms. I don’t have incredible men proclaim to love me and say they want me in their lives permanently. None of this stuff happens to someone like me and I don’t think I can handle it.”
Brett fought back his laughter. She was so adorable and didn’t have a clue. She really believed that the things she’d listed shouldn’t be happening to her. “I’m afraid I don’t understand. Why shouldn’t your life include the things you just mentioned?”
“Because I’m not like that.”
“Like what?”
“Exciting. Interesting. Adventurous. Oh, I don’t know how to explain this to you,” she groaned in frustration.
“Let me see if I can help. You think you’re not someone who should have good things in her life. You don’t deserve to be truly happy and were willing to settle for whatever quasi-life you can find instead of really living. You don’t take chances and go after what you want because it’s such a long shot that it will work out that it’s better not to bother trying. You’re a sub-person who won’t ever have the best life can offer. Or, if you do manage to get the premium life, you won’t be able to hold on to it anyway. Am I getting close?”
Andie nodded, clearly miserable and embarrassed.
Brett raised her chin before he said any more. “Who made you believe this nonsense? Who made you feel like you’re less than other people?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I always thought like this.”
Brett could practically feel her drawing within herself. Something Sadie said to him once popped into his head. “Sadie was right. I didn’t believe her but damn if she wasn’t entirely correct.”
“What?” Andie was clearly confused.
“About a year after we met, we were having one of our usual disagreements, you know, you’ve heard us. She was expounding on my less than settled lifestyle and I was being defensive even though she was accurate and she made a comment that I didn’t quite get at the time.
“She said I should watch out for the way I perceive myself or I might actually start to believe the illusion I lived in. She mentioned that her husband’s family was a prime example of a mask that was so firmly in place, saying she doubted her dearest little grandniece would even recognize her true self if the girl smacked herself in the face. She said it was bad enough to be forced to stand by and watch her sister-in-law and niece do a number on her. If I was enough of a fool to forget who I truly was behind the pretty picture I painted for the world, she was going to be embarrassed to admit she knew me. She was going to lose faith in her ability to judge character and stop wasting her time with idiots who didn’t deserve the benefit of her wisdom.” Brett paused to study her face. “Andie, why did you come here?”
She didn’t respond for so long that Brett thought she wasn’t going to. “My mom blew up at me after the last time I refused to go to graduate school. She wanted me to focus on performing and I wanted to teach children. My grandmother came to talk some sense into me when mom couldn’t make me give in. I was ironing in the basement so I could hide from them for a few mi
nutes.
“I didn’t even know Dad was home when he opened the door to his workshop and waved me in. He said he was proud of me for finally standing up to them. He apologized for never being able to do it himself. Then he had me call Aunt Sadie and invite myself to stay with her until I had a chance to see what I wanted for my life without Mom looming over me. He’d made me call right away and then he went up and told them it was all settled.
“I’ve never seen them so furious. Grandmother said all sorts of awful things about how she’d always known it was a mistake for Mom to marry him and how much of a disappointment he’d finally proven himself to be. He just stood there and let both of them go on and on, without defending himself. But he refused to let them stop me. That’s the only time I remember Dad not doing what he was told or finding an excuse to go back to work to escape from one of their tirades.
“Mom harped on at me nonstop until I drove away. She said I’d be sorry for not following her advice. She told me I’d be back in no time once I realized what a thankless job it was, teaching sniveling brats who wouldn’t appreciate the talent I was throwing away on them. She hoped I came to my senses quickly, before she gave up on me entirely and withdrew her offer to help. She said I needed all the advantages my music could give me since I lacked the charisma to attract the right sort of people. She told me I was deluding myself if I thought I could get the finer things in life without her guidance.”
Andie was sobbing but didn’t quit. “She called me plain and boring and said if I was stupid enough to trap myself in the dull life I would find as a teacher I shouldn’t expect her to come to my rescue. She said if I defied her it would serve me right when I wound up married to a good-for-nothing, blue-collar moron who would never provide the kind of life she was offering to secure for me.”
Brett took the sandwich that she’d mashed while she spoke and pulled her into his arms, stroking her back and whispering soothing words. “First thing tomorrow I’m calling your father to thank him. Sadie too. Andie, you can’t believe her entirely or you wouldn’t have come here. I’m sure your mother means well but she is seriously misguided if she sees you as less than perfect.”
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