“What? No, come on, guys,” she said, sheepishly. And then she watched as his shoulders sunk. She stood up, sticking her hand out to him.
“Alright, Johnny Castle,” she said, “let’s do this.”
He looked at her for a moment, before smiling and taking her hand.
She followed him to the dance floor, a little warily at first. But as he slid his fingertips down her arm and she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise, she knew it was go-time. Seriously, nobody puts Baby in a corner.
He reached around her body and took her hand, flinging her out and back into him. Each time she brushed against his chest, she felt her breath catch in her throat. He smelled so damn good. He was warm, and his smile made her a bit wobbly on her dancin’ feet.
He pulled her in for the last spin, his chest to her back, and suddenly, neither of them were smiling. Instead, it felt like they were fighting something off. Some sort of pull.
“Ready?” he whispered in her ear, and she felt those damn hairs rise again. She breathed him in, not wanting the moment to end quite yet. But they had an audience. And she was an engaged woman, after all. No time for soaking it in. She nodded, and he swung her back out and away from him, letting go of her hand.
“Let’s do it,” he said, holding his hands out to her. She cocked her neck in play, and pretended to stretch briefly before running full-speed ahead. He caught her, and they held the lift for about three seconds, the longest they had ever done. And as the rest of the group clapped and cheered, she couldn’t help but notice how tightly he held onto her as he spun her back into him each time. And how much she liked it.
But as he pulled her back in and she put her arms around his neck, she realized just how tightly she was holding on to him, too. And she realized just how dangerous this was getting.
A few songs later as the crowd slowly dwindled, Bria realized she better call it a night. Thanksgiving was the next day, and she shouldn’t really be out this late, drinking, with Knox. As she stood to grab her purse and say her goodbyes, she felt a little unsteady.
“Hang on there, killer,” Knox said, reaching for his own coat. “You’d better let me take you home.” Before she could protest, a massive headache was already starting to form in her temples. She nodded.
“Man, that was fun,” he said after a few minutes of silence. “We haven’t done that in so long.”
“Yeah,” she smiled, her head rested back against the seat. “I can’t believe we still remembered it all.”
When he pulled into her parents’ driveway, he put the car in park. She paused for a moment before unbuckling herself.
She turned to him, her body completely facing his.
“It was really nice to see everyone tonight,” she said.
“Yeah, that was cool.”
“And I’m really glad we got to catch up more. Me and you, I mean.”
“Me, too,” he said.
“I’ve missed you, Knox,” she said, looking down at her hands.
“I missed you, too,” he said, shifting in his seat so that he was facing her, too. And she felt herself slide across her seat, closer to him. She leaned over, covering his hand with hers for a moment. She knew she was a little tipsy still, but this wasn’t the alcohol making the moves. This was all Bria. His whole car smelled good, like that musky, manly, delicious scent that Knox always seemed to carry, whether he was dressed in a suit, or finishing up a pick-up basketball game. His bright green eyes shone even in the dark, and she stared at his long lashes, the ones she’d always been jealous of. She watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. She pulled herself a little bit closer, stretching across the center console. She reached a hand up slowly, and he swallowed again. She gently stroked his perfectly-pointed chin, pulling herself even closer, their noses inches apart. She leaned her head in, letting her forehead rest on his. She closed her eyes, soaking in what she couldn’t at the Café.
But then she sighed, opened the door, and got out.
TWENTY-THREE
Now
Three days passed, and the only communication between Bria and Drew were a few text messages here and there, letting each other know that they got everywhere safely, checking to see if the cable bill had been paid. He worked on Thanksgiving, so it was easy to explain to her parents why he wasn’t coming to dinner.
One of the things they had in common was that they were both insanely stubborn. Fights, even smaller, petty ones, took days to clear up because neither of them could be the first one to apologize. But this time, it felt a little different. There wasn’t that reassurance that was usually on the other side, that confidence that told her they would get over it and be fine. Instead, the future was a little blurry for her.
She felt herself growing a little groggy, like she was just going through the motions of her daily life, but it wasn’t because she couldn’t sleep without Drew, or that it broke her heart not to talk to him. It wasn’t because she missed him. It was because she didn’t.
“What’s up with you?” Sam asked, handing her a cup of soda as she sat next to her on the couch. Her parents were off with Katie at her appointment, and probably wouldn’t be back for hours.
“Ah. . . I don’t know. Just a lot of stuff.” Bria sometimes had trouble opening up to her sisters. Since she was the oldest, she felt like she needed to be their go-to for advice, their secret-keeper, but that they shouldn’t have to bear the weight of hers in return.
“Uh-huh,” Sam said. “Trouble in paradise?” Bria shot her a look. There it was again, that overwhelming feeling that Sam wasn’t particularly fond of Drew. But she wouldn't dare ask her about it. She didn’t really want to know.
“We’re. . . fine.” Now, Sam shot her a look.
“Ya know, I’m not a kid anymore. You can actually talk to me, if you want,” she said, picking through a bowl of Chex Mix for the chocolate pieces. Bria smiled at her. Honestly, she’d been feeling sort of alone the last few days. She guessed she could give her sister a shot.
“We got into a fight, and we haven’t talked for a few days,” Bria told her, reaching across the couch to snag a chocolate piece before Sam could grab it.
“Oh. Is the wedding still on?” Sam asked, matter-of-factly. Bria laughed and shook her head.
“Of course. We will be fine,” she said, but the words were actually hard to say.
“Well, what was it about?” Sam asked. But before Bria could speak, Sam asked, “Was it about Knox?”
Bria almost choked on the Chex Mix. That’s what she got for eating only the chocolate. “Why would you ask me that?” she asked.
Sam shrugged. “I don’t know.”
“Well, what made you think of Knox?”
“I don’t know,” Sam said.
“Sam, something had to make you think of him.”
“I guess it’s just. . . I don’t know, you’ve been, like, a different person since you’ve been home. Since you’ve been hanging with him. And mom said you guys were going on a double-date, and I just put two and two together. Drew seems like he could be the jealous type.”
“Well, he’s . . .I . . . I don’t know. Knox definitely bothers him. He doesn’t get that we’re just friends.” Sam accidentally snorted, then quickly covered her nose. “What?”
“You and Knox have not been ‘just friends’ since before you had boobs. Anyone can see that there was something a little more goin’ on there. The sexual tension between you two is intense.”
“Sam! Ew! He’s like my—“
“Don’t say he’s like your brother. We both know that’s not true. And sisters don’t get all googley-eyed over their brothers shirtless like you used to do with Knox when you were in high school.”
“I did not!” Bria said, grabbing the pillow from behind her and whacking Sam in the face with it, until they were both on the floor in a fit of laughter.
“But seriously, dude,” Sam said, “I know you probably don’t want to hear this, because it’s confusing as hell. You and Kn
ox, you’re not just friends.”
Bria sat back, resting her head against the arm of the couch. Jesus, she knew that that was a possibility, but having someone else say it out loud made it so much more terrifying.
A few hours later, they heard the door open, Katie running through the front room and leaping onto the couch, laying on top of Sam and Bria.
“Hey, Kates,” Bria said.
“Get off me, brat,” Sam said, playfully shoving her off.
“How was your appointment?” Bria asked. Her parents made their way into the living room, both with huge smiles on their faces.
“Tell them, Kates,” her dad said.
“Well, they think everything looks good. They think I’ll be done with treatment in just a few weeks!” she said, standing up on the couch and jumping around it like a lunatic.
“What? How can that be? It’s only been a few months!” Bria said, so excited she felt like she might cry.
“They said my treatment worked faster than they thought!”
“Well, we still have to go back in a few weeks so they can just do a few more scans and some final bloodwork. But if all of that is clear, the doc thinks she’s good to go,” her mother said, stroking Katie’s long, golden locks.
Sam and Bria clapped their hands as Katie jumped off the couch and onto the floor, dancing around in happy circles.
“I can go back to a normal schedule next semester!” Katie said, squeezing her mom’s hand.
“That’s right. And Bria, you can finally move back to D.C. And back to your wonderful life,” Louise said. Sam shot Bria a look. “But I don’t want you to ever forget how grateful we are for everything you’ve done for your family. We are so lucky to have you,” her mother added, pulling her oldest daughter in for a long hug.
Louise had tears running down her cheeks, and Bria felt them welling in her own eyes, but for a totally different reason. She felt’s Sam’s eyes on her, as if she thought Bria might make some sort of drastic life declaration.
“But, mom, are you guys sure you’re okay with money?” she whispered to her mother.
“Yes, honey, we are totally fine.”
“God Bless the Knoxvilles!” her dad called out, then cowered, quickly realizing what he’d said.
“Joe!” her mother scolded him.
“What?” Bria asked, turning to her father. “What about the Knoxvilles?”
“Dammit, Joe. You know he didn’t want her to know,” she heard her mother whisper.
“Know what? What about the Knoxvilles?” Bria pressed. Her mother sighed.
“Well, I guess we have to tell you now,” Louise said, glaring at Joe.
“It’s been so long anyway,” he mumbled, consoling himself for his slip-up.
“When your sister was really bad off the first time, we were in really bad shape, financially. Really bad. You know that,” Louise started. Bria nodded. “Well, after you went to see Ben that night before you left, he talked to his parents. You know they have some money. Well, Ben called up his dad and told him what was going on. That day, they called us up and gave us enough to pay of all of her medical bills so we could keep the house. But he made us swear,” she said, “that we wouldn’t tell you. Ben didn’t want you to know.”
Bria jumped back to that day, that moment when her father burst out of the house with the news that they wouldn’t be losing it. There were only a few moments in her life when she felt as purely happy, as relieved as she did then. And Knox had given it to her. The tears in the back of her eyes were now surging toward the front.
“Why didn’t he want me to know?” she asked, wiping them before they could roll down her cheeks.
“Well, when the Knoxville boys were each born, their parents set up trust funds for them. The money came out of Ben’s,” she said. “And he thought if you knew, that you’d refuse to take it and you wouldn’t go to school. He was probably right. Such a sweetie. So, we’ve been paying him back ever since. That is, until Kates got sick again. Ben called up your dad after you told him and he told us that we were square. We still owed him over ten thousand dollars.”
Bria nodded, but she didn’t speak. She knew her voice would crack. She stood back against the doorway, resting her head against it. She breathed in and out, but it felt labored. Her sweet Knox.
That night, she offered to run to the store for her mother, knowing she would be making a pitstop on the way. When he opened the door, he smiled.
“Hey,” he said. “I’d ask if you wanted Jimmie Cone, but a thirty-degree night might not be the best night for ice cream.”
She nodded, but when she tried to smile, she was overcome by the emotion she was feeling. She leapt onto him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck.
“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” he asked, rubbing her back, holding her a few inches off the ground.
“I can’t believe you gave them the money,” she whispered.
“Oh, they told you?” he asked, lowering her back down to her feet. She nodded. He sighed and looked down at the ground. He sat down on the top stoop step, and she sat down next to him. “Bria, I would have. . .I would have done anything for you,” he said. “Still would.”
Oh, God. He still would.
“I want to pay you back what my parents still owe you,” she said. He shook his head and held up his hand.
“Stop, B,” he said. “Don’t.”
“No, please, I’m serious.”
“Bria, I didn’t do it so that you’d owe me. I never wanted you to find out because I knew you’d lose your mind over it. Please, just let it go. Just let me hold on to the fact that I was able to help you. Please.”
She looked over at him, and a warm smile came over her face. For half a second, she let her head rest on his shoulder.
“So, since we’re not getting ice cream, how about some hot chocolate?" he asked, standing up and offering her his hand. She grabbed it tight and followed him to his car.
The weekend rolled around, and Bria, Sam, and Katie had decided to have a girls’ day, watching a chick flick and eating chocolate ice cream right from the tub. Their parents had gone away for the weekend, finally taking a much-needed breather after Katie’s good news. Bria and Drew had been talking a little bit more; he’d finally called a few days before and they talked for an hour, Drew catching her up on all his stories from the hospital. Bria had sounded cheery and asked all the questions she knew he so badly wanted to answer, but her heart wasn’t in it.
And while he spoke, she felt herself drifting in and out of focus. He was on-call this weekend, so she’d stayed back in Dalesville. She told him she loved him when she hung up, but something about the conversations lately felt rehearsed, stale. And she couldn’t quite put her finger on it.
Bria watched as the couple on the screen ran to each other, in a simultaneous, unrealistic realization that they were perfect for each other, and simply could not make it without the other. She made a mocking puke sound, but in reality, her heart was beating just as fast as any other girl’s would. Just then, Katie piped up.
“I’m not gonna lie,” she said, “I’m a little sad you won’t be living here anymore.”
Bria swallowed. So was she, kid. So was she.
“Me too, Kates. But I’m not far away. And soon, you’ll be away at school again. You won’t even be here to miss me. But, I don’t know if I’ll be leaving just yet.” Sam looked up at her.
“Why?” she asked.
“Yeah, doesn’t Drew want you to move back in? I mean the wedding is only a few months away,” Katie said. Bria swallowed nervously. They were set to have an April wedding. Drew really wanted to get married after his residency ended in July, but Bria hated the idea of being a sweaty bride. The only other option was to wait until fall, but Bria couldn’t bear the thought of putting off marrying Drew any longer. Now, though, the thought of a fall wedding seemed better, smarter. And there was a small part of her that wished they’d agreed to push it off a little longer.
/> “Yeah, but Kates, you just got the news and we still have to wait for the results. . .” Bria said, knowing that her hesitation had nothing to do with Katie.
“Bria, I’m fine,” Katie said. “Don’t use me as your crutch. And don’t worry yourself sick about us. You have your own life.” Then, Katie looked up at her big sister with a mischievous look in her eye. “Unless there’s another reason you want to stay.”
Sam stared at Bria, waiting for a response. But as they sat in silence, Bria realized that she hadn’t seen Drew in almost three weeks. And she hardly missed him.
As if he heard her thoughts, there was a knock on the front door.
“I’ll get it,” Katie said, hopping up from the couch.
“No, you won’t.” Katie may have been an adult, but she was still Bria’s baby sister, and Bria took every opportunity she could to keep her safe. When she opened the front door, her stomach dropped.
“Hi, baby,” Drew said, his sad eyes looking down at her. She let him dramatically wrap his arms around her, holding her tight, just like the nauseating couple in the movie. She wrapped her arms around him, but didn’t bury her face in his neck. “I wanted to surprise you,” he said. “I got the night off. I missed you so much,” he whispered.
“Shhh,” she said, squeezing him tight, letting him kiss her face all over.
“I’m so sorry I couldn’t come sooner. And I’m sorry about all that shit before, with Knox. I know I was being overdramatic. And I was acting like an ass, and you didn’t deserve it, and I’m just. . . I’m so sorry,” he said. Her eyebrows shot up. This was so out of character for Drew. Stubborn, steadfast Drew, who was almost never in the wrong.
“It’s okay, babe. I’m sorry, too.” He leaned down again, kissing her hard. She closed her eyes, trying desperately to feel like she couldn’t go on without him.
“Look,” he said, pulling himself back, “can I. . . can I take you somewhere?” She looked back at him, lifting an eyebrow.
“Okay,” she said, taking his hand.
She got in his car hesitantly, a little afraid of where they were going. Not because she thought it would turn into some sort of slasher, killer-fiancé scenario; she was actually afraid it would turn into the exact opposite. Something sweet and endearing. Something that would make it harder for her to blow their fight out of proportion and drag out the anger she was feeling toward him a little more. And she hated herself for that. Why did she want to be mad at him? Why did she want him to be wrong? They drove for twenty minutes or so, then Drew pulled into a neighborhood. Where the hell was he taking her?
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