by Sarah Price
He glared at her. “Don’t sass me! I know it’s a drawer. But what did you do with it?”
Mary Ruth exhaled sharply. He was trying her patience, that was for sure and certain. “I organized it. It was a jumble of things and there was no way to find anything.”
“That’s not the way she left it!” he shouted, his voice booming through the house.
“No,” she said slowly, turning around. She put her hands on his hips as she faced him. “No Menno, it’s not how Martha left it. But Martha is no longer here and you have to start accepting the help of the community, the people who care about you.”
He stopped in mid-step and glared at her. “I don’t want their help and don’t want them caring about me.”
Reaching for the dishtowel, she dried her hand on it. She was acting calmer than she felt. She wasn’t certain where that strength was coming from, truth be told. His behavior scared her. “Well, you keep behaving this way and that will be sure and certain to happen!” Her words came out sharper than she intended but she masked her own surprise.
For a moment, she saw a glimmer. She wasn’t certain what it meant but she saw him pause and take a deep breath.
“Look Menno,” Mary Ruth said, trying to soften her tone. “You have four kinner that need you and your tirades against me sure aren’t helping them.” She glanced at them and, for the briefest moment, her eyes caught Melvin’s. Her heart swelled at the sight of him. My special project, she thought.
“I didn’t invite you,” he stated firmly but without the previous anger in his tone.
“No,” she agreed. “No, you surely didn’t. And you have make it quite clear how much I am welcomed here.”
“Then go!”
She shook her head, forcing herself to show a strength that she didn’t necessarily feel. “And face the wrath of my sister, Rachel? Danke, but no,” she said. “Besides, your children need me. Who will feed them? Who will clean up this kitchen? Wash their clothing?” She saw him tense and tried to calm him down by lowering her voice. “Your g’may cares about you and your kinner, Menno Yoder. Let us help you.” She paused before she added, “Don’t you think it’s what Martha would have wanted? If not for you, then for her kinner?”
There was a long pause. Neither Menno nor Mary Ruth spoke. She stared at him, wondering if she had pushed him just too far this time. His face seemed to tense up and the color drained from it. She saw him clench his jaw as he pressed his lips together, tight and angry. But he said nothing.
For the past two weeks, she had been fulfilling her duty and walking to the Yoder farm every day in order to get the children fed, the house cleaned, the laundry washed, and the kitchen organized. Each day, she had been confronted with angry glares from Menno who, on most mornings, stormed out of the house and never returned. That had been fine with Mary Ruth. The children had begun to open up to her and, despite her own reluctance to allow them close to her heart, she found herself becoming fond of them in a way she had never known possible.
The two older girls were clingy, afraid to let Mary Ruth out of their sight while the younger girl was more of the shy sort. She would watch her from a distance, a thumb stuck into her mouth. Mary Ruth ignored her curious gaze and silence by continuing to include her in the discussion, even if she didn’t reply. But it was Melvin who caused her the most angst. He often disappeared and, when Mary Ruth would look for him, she’d find him sitting somewhere alone, staring at the wall. He showed little to no interest in anything but he was never disrespectful. Mary Ruth would reach for his hand and help him to his feet, leading him back into the kitchen and assigning him a task to keep him busy and within her eyesight.
The previous evening, his behavior bothered her so much that Mary Ruth wandered over to Rachel’s to ask for advice. To her surprise, Elijah was downstairs, sleeping in a chair. Placing a finger on her lips, Rachel motioned that they should move into the other room so as not to disturb him.
“He’s still fighting that cold,” Rachel explained in a hushed whisper. “I thought he was over it but it came back.” She wore a concerned look on her face. “I want him to sleep as much as he can. That cough just keeps him up all night.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Mary Ruth said and she meant it. The past two weeks had provided Mary Ruth with a new perspective on life and relationships. “I won’t stay long, sister, but I need your advice about Melvin Yoder. He’s still so reclusive and sad.”
Rachel frowned. “Of course he is! He lost his mamm!”
“I understand that,” Mary Ruth quickly replied. “But I don’t know what to do to help him.” When she heard Elijah cough, she lowered her voice. “Given that you volunteered me to help them through this rough patch, mayhaps you can guide me a bit, ja?”
Her eldest sister sighed and shook her head. Clearly this was new territory for her, too. “I just don’t know, Mary Ruth. Being there, being consistent, and being kind but firm…that’s what children need,” she offered. “Keep doing what you are doing and try to get that Menno to see past his grief.” They both heard Elijah cough again. This time, he had gotten up from his chair and shuffled up the stairs. “I need to go check on him. Get him some tea to soothe his throat and help him sleep,” Rachel said. “I’ll pray on your situation, Mary Ruth.”
Now, as Mary Ruth stood in the kitchen, facing Menno Yoder, she wondered if he would ever get past his grief so that she could return home.
“I’m making a nice dinner today for your kinner,” Mary Ruth said, breaking the silence. “Mayhaps it would be nice if you joined them. It has been three weeks, Menno, and I know that seems fresh in your mind. But your mourning the dead doesn’t help those who are living.” She held his angry gaze as she gently added, “They need you.”
Without a word, he turned around and stormed out of the kitchen. When the door slammed shut, the kinner stared at her, their eyes wide and frightened. Mary Ruth leaned against the counter and tried to still her pounding heart. She was angry. Angry at Rachel for having volunteered her for this horrible task. Angry at Menno for ignoring those children. And angry with herself for not being stronger in standing up to him.
Shutting her eyes, she repeated her favorite Proverbs verse for when she was upset: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not onto thy own understanding - in all the ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.[2] A wave of guilt fled through her as she realized that, by being angry, she was doubting the Lord and His infinite wisdom. After all, she reminded herself, He is our Father and He cares for His children. If only she knew what path He was directing her toward.
“Let’s get to our chores, shall we?” she said, breaking the silence and forcing a smile.
Anna looked up when Steve walked into the kitchen. He wasn’t wearing his typical work clothes. Rather, he had on a clean shirt and pants. She noticed that he even wore his nice boots, not the ones that he typically wore in the barnyard.
“Heading out. Isaac said you have some plates to take over to Rachel and Leah?”
Anna peered at him, studying his face for a quick moment. There was something about him, a glow. “Ja, I heard you were riding over that direction.” She paused. She wasn’t certain how much she could push her brother-in-law. “Borrowing the buggy again, ain’t so?”
He mumbled something under his breath.
“I didn’t hear you,” she said.
“Ja, the buggy. Nice weather for a ride. Need some time to think, I reckon,” he said.
“Um hum,” Anna commented, a hand on her hip. “Something is up with you, Steve Fisher !”
“The apple crunch pie? Where is it?”
“You are avoiding the question.”
“You didn’t ask no question,” he scoffed. Clearly, he didn’t want to talk. “If you want me delivering them, you best hurry along, sister.”
Hiding a smile, Anna hurried into the back room where she had put the apple crunch pies into large plastic containers for protection on the journey. She glanced through th
e open door at Steve, watching as he drummed his fingers on the counter and tapped his foot. He was impatient and anxious. Something is up with him, indeed, she told herself.
“Don’t forget to return the containers, Steve,” Anna said as she started to hand them over to him. “Will be needing them for church Sunday at Leah’s.”
“Ja, ja,” he said gruffly.
“You sure do look nice for just taking a buggy ride to think,” Anna added, watching his face for a reaction. It was true. He was dressed in clean black pants and a fresh white shirt. Normally, Steve wore his regular work clothes all day and saved the good clothing for church Sunday. She couldn’t remember the last time he had changed during the week.
Steve frowned at her, took the containers, and walked out of the kitchen without another word. She turned to watch him from the kitchen window but he disappeared quickly around the side of the barn. A few minutes later, she heard the familiar rattle of the buggy wheels as the horse pulled out of the driveway and down the road.
Anna hurried over to Miriam’s side of the house. She found her mother-in-law crocheting in her favorite chair by the window. The sun was high and bright, shining into the room and basking everything in a lovely summer glow.
“Mamm!” Anna said, sitting down on the sofa next to her. “Steve borrowed the buggy again.”
Miriam looked up, her fingers still moving as she continued making her placemat. “Did he, now?”
“You don’t think…?”
Miriam laughed. “Oh Anna,” she set her work down on her lap. “At his age?” She smiled at her daughter-in-law. They had always had a good relationship. Anna was different than her own daughters, much more open and friendly, eager to be a part of the family from day one. In fact, Miriam often felt closer to her than her own natural daughters. It was just like Anna to hope that Steve was interested in someone. “You do have the most fanciful ideas,” she said gently. She certainly didn’t want to hurt Anna’s feelings. “But I think his time has come and gone. Where would he meet someone anyway? It’s not as if he goes running around with the younger ones and he works from before sunrise to well after sunset.”
Slumping onto the sofa, Anna sighed. She was so hopeful that Steve would find someone to share his life with. He was such a kind man who honored God in every aspect of his daily life. It was a shame to not share it with another godly woman. “I reckon you’re right,” she conceded. “Of course, I still wonder about the buggy…”
Picking up her work from her lap, Miriam returned to crocheting. Anna watched her mother-in-law’s fingers move, a fluid motion of wrapping the yarn around the crochet hook and pulling it through the loop in the chain. It was almost musical in nature. Her hands moved so quickly, feeding the yarn to the crochet hook as if she were a machine. It was beautiful to watch. And, while doing this, her mother-in-law was obviously involved in deep thoughts. “Mayhaps he just wants more freedom than he gets when he hires those Englische drivers.”
“I suppose,” Anna said. But she wasn’t really convinced.
Steve pulled the buggy alongside Mary Ruth. He had spotted her on the road, walking back to Leah’s house from the Yoder’s farm. He hadn’t been certain that it was his sister at first but he remembered that she was helping the widower during his transition. He didn’t envy his sister and said a silent prayer of gratitude to God that he had been born a man and a farmer. Women seemed to get moved around a lot before marriage, working at markets, stores, or houses while a man who farmed had a steady routine.
When he stopped the buggy, Mary Ruth looked up at him in complete surprise. “Steve! What on earth…?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “Felt like taking a ride. Plus Anna asked me to drop off these apple crunch pies.” He motioned for Mary Ruth to climb into the buggy. It jiggled under her weight as she settled next to him on the blue velour seat. “How you making out over here?” he asked.
“Don’t ask,” she said glumly. “That Yoder man is miserable. And I feel like I’m just cleaning up after everyone, Menno’s house in the morning and Leah’s in the afternoon! I just want to come home.”
He nodded his head as if he understood what she meant. It didn’t sound like fun having to help a fresh widow pick up the pieces to his life, especially one that was known for being a bit on the stubborn side. Slapping the reins on the horse’s back and clucking his tongue, Steve directed the horse down the road. The buggy lurched forward as it began to roll along.
“What’s new at home anyway?” she asked, her heart heavy with longing for her own bed and Mamm’s good home cooking. If Leah was a poor housekeeper, she was an even poorer cook.
“Not much,” he said. Then, as if an after-thought, he added, “Isaac is going to let Katie tend to that Eleanor woman’s pony at Gideon’s place.”
“A pony?” Mary Ruth repeated and raised an eyebrow. “What’s that about?”
Steve slowed the horse down as a car sped past on his left. “That Eleanor is boarding some ponies at Gideon’s farm for a while and Katie wants to care for one. Isaac and Anna think it will help calm her spirit a bit to take on that responsibility. If it works, they will keep the pony at our farm.”
“Gideon’s farm is just on the other side of the Yoders’ place, ain’t so?” The wheels in her mind were turning, an idea forming that gave her hope on how to get the Yoder family in shape so that she could finally return home.
Steve nodded. “Ja,” he said. “Oh and that Shep…crazy dog! Seems to like sleeping in the buggy. Isaac keeps finding him curled up in the back. The other day, he was halfway to the market when the dog woke up and jumped onto the seat next to him. Scared Isaac half to death!”
They both laughed.
It was half an hour before he managed to escape Leah’s chaotic house. It always amazed him how Leah could be so very different from his other sisters. Unorganized, frantic and more than a little self-absorbed. He just shook his head thinking about how Mary Ruth had been forced to stay there. He knew that they had she had her work cut out for her at Leah’s. He wondered how her husband, Jonah, could put up with the chaos and mess in the house.
As the horse drove down the road, he began to think about Mimi. He couldn’t imagine her being like Leah. No, he thought. Mimi was certainly a tidy housekeeper and hard-worker. If he had learned anything about her, he had learned that.
Today, he was picking her up for a nice long buggy ride and a stroll in the park. It would be the third time that they had spent time together. He smiled to himself, remembering their picnic last week. She had been delightful company. In fact, he couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled and laughed so much. She had a funny way of looking at things and saying what she meant. And her energy! She was full of it.
When he pulled up to the Hostetler’s farm, he was glad that she was already outside. He wasn’t ready to have to talk to her parents or deal with the suspicions from the community. Ideal minds meant overactive tongues, his mamm had always said. For that reason, he was especially grateful that she lived in a different church district. That would help keep the questions at bay. But it sure was difficult dealing with the questions at home whenever he needed to borrow a buggy.
“Well hello there, Steve Fisher ,” she said jovially as she slid open the door to the buggy and peered inside. Her eyes flashed and she smiled brightly at him. “What brings you here, today?”
For a moment, he looked confused and quickly reached into his memory. Today was the day that he had mentioned going for a buggy ride, wasn’t it? “I..I thought that…”
Mimi laughed and climbed into the buggy, settling down next to him. “I’m teasing you,” she said, nudging him gently with her elbow. “Did you think I forgot?”
His heart swelled. She was so very different from other girls, full of surprises and joy. He liked that very much. Other girls were not as confident and tended to be quiet and shy. He had always dreaded those types of girls and avoided them when he was younger. On the few occasions that he had taken a girl ho
me from a singing, the rides had been quiet and subdued. It was as if the girls were afraid to open their mouths and speak.
Not Mimi Hostetler.
“Where shall we go today, then?” he asked.
Pursing her lips, she appeared deep in thought. Then, smiling, she said, “How about some ice cream? It’s a nice day for it, ja?”
The horse walked slowly down the road. Steve made certain to purposefully keep some tension in the reins, willing the horse to keep the slow and steady pace. He listened to her tell him about her week at the store. She laughed about the Englischer customers who pretended to peruse the aisles when all they really wanted was to talk with an Amish person. She told him that another barn had been vandalized on the other side of town. And she mentioned that she was looking forward to church Sunday at Leah’s house in the upcoming week.
“Will you be there?” she asked curiously.
“Ja, I imagine,” he said. “Whole family is likely to attend. I know my mamm and sisters are planning to come up to help with the cooking and to clean the house.”
Mimi nodded but didn’t respond. Leah’s poor housekeeping was common knowledge and Steve was appreciative that Mimi was respectful enough not to comment.
“I don’t recall seeing you there before,” she said casually.
“Nee,” he admitted. “Never went before. Stuck to my own district.”
“Really?” She stared up at him with large, bright eyes. “So why are you coming this year?”
He glanced at her and felt his heart jump when he saw her eyes. So sparkling and full of life. Her entire face seemed to glow and he felt himself feeling weak. For the past two weeks, he had been praying to God, asking for guidance. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, hopes that someone as marvelously godly and wonderful as Mimi Hostetler might actually be interested in him, but seeing her hopeful eyes gazing at him, he knew.
“I…” He wasn’t certain how to respond, but clearly she was waiting. “I guess that…”