by Sarah Price
She shook her head and, despite the tears, she laughed. “Nothing Mamm. Just the opposite!”
Miriam frowned. “You have some explaining to do then, Dochder, standing here crying at your sister’s wedding meal.”
“It’s Elijah! He’s decided to take the treatment.” She covered her face with her hands, wiping the tears away as she laughed with relief. “He told me right after the service! Said he had to try to fight it. Couldn’t imagine me marrying another man!” Again, the laughter.
Lizzie and Leah both consoled her, rubbing Rachel’s arm and her back. Miriam understood what her dochder was feeling: relief that her husband was going to try to survive but fear that it wouldn’t work.
“You need to pull it together,” Miriam said softly. “People will wonder.”
“Oh let them!” she said, laughing through her tears. “There is hope now. A chance. Even if it is small, I just needed that shred of hope.”
“When will his treatment start?” Miriam asked.
There was no answer to that but Rachel knew that she would call straightaway in the morning, maybe even this very afternoon if she could excuse herself from the wedding festivities. “I’ll let you know when the doctors can arrange it,” she said. “I imagine it will be soon, ja?”
Collectively, they glanced at Elijah. He looked pale and weary as he rested in a chair that Menno had set out just for him. It was clear that he was struggling to stay awake. “You best be getting him home, Rachel. It sure was gut of him to make the effort, but now he needs his strength for a different fight,” Miriam suggested. “And when you go with him for treatment, I’ll come stay to tend the kinner. Can’t have you worrying about two ends of the candle burning.”
“Oh danke, Mamm,” Rachel said, reaching out to embrace her mother, a rare display of affection. “I’m going to need you so if we are to get through this and survive,” she whispered into her mamm’s ear.
“If it’s God’s will,” Miriam replied. “We will all survive.”
It was late afternoon when everyone had started to leave. Even during wedding season, cows needed to be milked and all of the farm animals needed to be fed. After the last family had departed, Menno excused himself and went upstairs to change out of his Sunday suit. He, too, had chores that couldn’t wait until the morning. With the sun setting earlier, there was no sense delaying and start chores in the dark.
Mary Ruth wasn’t quite sure what to do. The benches had been put away, stored in the large grey wooden wagon in the backyard. But the rest of the furniture was still stored in the barn. The women had been kind enough to clean most of the dishes so that the kitchen was orderly. And the kinner had quietly disappeared, Melvin taking charge so that Menno and Mary Ruth had some time alone. She suspected that they had gone back to Leah’s after visiting the Miller farm to see the pony.
Hesitating, she walked up the stairs, hating the way that they creaked. She could hear Menno moving about the bedroom. A dresser drawer opened. A shoe fell to the floor. The door was not shut all of the way and, her hand on the doorframe, she cleared her throat to make her presence known.
“Mary Ruth?”
She peeked around the corner then quickly looked away when she saw him sitting on the edge of the bed. “I…I didn’t want to disturb you but I thought I’d see if you needed any help in the barn?”
He had been getting changed. His work shirt was unbuttoned at the throat and the suspenders from his black pants hung down by his sides. Standing up, he slid his arms into each strap and took a step toward her. In the small bedroom, he seemed taller, his presence filling the room.
Sensing her trepidation, Menno smiled gently and reached for her hand. He pulled her into the room and stood close to her, staring down into her face. He reached up and caressed her cheek with his thumb. “You were lovely today, Mary Ruth,” he said, his blue eyes staring into hers. “And now you are my wife.”
“Your wife,” she repeated. The words sounded foreign and surreal. She barely knew this man and she had promised to be his wife for eternity, until death separated them. Yet, she knew so little about him. “Menno?” Her voice sounded small in the silence of the room.
“Yes?”
She turned her eyes away, staring at anything but him. She wanted one thing very much but she was afraid to ask. Still, she knew that she needed it in order to move past feeling so afraid and timid in his presence. The words, however, would not form on her lips.
He tilted her chin up so that she had to look at him. “What is it, Mary Ruth?”
“I…” She stumbled over the words, trying to gather the courage to ask. What would he think?
“Go on,” he urged.
Taking a deep breath, she looked him square in the eye and found the strength to tell him what was on her mind. “I should like to know what it’s like to kiss you.” She paused. “To kiss my husband.”
His lips twitched and she thought he was going to smile. Had her question amused him? After fighting so hard to tell him what she wanted, was he going to laugh? Yet, she knew it was better than if he thought she was too forward or brazen. That would not have gotten the marriage off on the right foot.
To her relief, he leaned down and gently brushed his lips against hers. The kiss was light and soft, tender and sweet, his whiskers tickling her chin. There was no urgency or compromise in the kiss. It spoke of new beginnings with no hurry to end. Then, he pulled her into his arms and hugged her, her body pressed against his. For a long moment, he held her like that and she felt herself relax. She felt safe and warm in his arms. He would protect her and take care of her.
When he stepped backward, he looked down at her and she was surprised to see tears in his eyes. At first, she wondered if they were of sorrow or regret. She reached her hand out to wipe one away but he grabbed her hand and pressed his lips against her palm.
“Don’t,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. “Those are happy tears. Happy tears for God bringing you into our lives. I don’t claim to understand His ways or why He took Martha when He did. But you have truly saved us and I know that God has His reasons.” He leaned down one more time to kiss her, this time on the forehead before he held her facing him and, looking deep into her eyes he heard himself say: “Danke, Mary Ruth. And danke God.”
Abruptly, he released her and took a step backward as if trying to compose himself. He seemed embarrassed by his own emotion and Mary Ruth found herself fascinated. There were so many sides to this man, so much to learn.
“Now,” he said, clearing his throat. “You asked if you could help in the barn. That’s awful kind of you, Mary Ruth, but I won’t have my fraa helping with chores on her wedding day. You spend your time unpacking your things,” he said, gesturing toward the corner where two small bags were waiting. “I’ll bring your hope chest in from the back room tomorrow. I’ll be anxious to see what you have inside,” he asked. “And if you need anything else to make the house feel like home, we can discuss it and plan accordingly, ja?”
He started to walk out of the room but Mary Ruth called out, “Menno?”
He stopped and turned back. “Ja?”
“I…I love you,” she said shyly.
Her words caught him off guard and he seemed to think about them for a moment. Then, with a hint of a smile and a wink, he replied, “Mayhaps. But if not, you will.” And he was gone, his heavy shoes thumping on the stairs, each one creaking under his weight, as he hurried down to the kitchen for a glass of water before heading outside to the barn.
She stood at the bedroom window, watching her new husband as he crossed the barnyard. From inside the barn, the kinner saw him and ran to greet him, young Emma tripping over her own feet. Menno paused and helped her up, brushing the dust from her dress before giving her a hug. He pointed to the house and said something before Emma ran toward it. He glanced up and saw Mary Ruth at the window, her eyes taking in the scene.
A warm smile flashed across his face and he lifted his hand to her. She pressed her own hand ag
ainst the window, just as she heard the kitchen door open and a small voice call out, “Mamm! I need a Band-Aid please!”
Miriam sat at her kitchen table, the package of letters scattered over the table. Her fingers touched each one and her eyes skimmed over them.
Each letter, written by a different family, was written in different penmanship about their very different lives. When Miriam had started the circle letters, she had no idea how far the family would come in such a short period of time. Mary Ruth was married and wouldn’t be returning. Steve was to marry next week and, although he would not be leaving for his own farm right away, Mimi would be coming to visit on the weekends and, Miriam suspected, would most likely stay before long. John David and Ella were waiting to married in December and would move into their new farm in the spring.
Life would settle down on the Fisher farm for a while until new babies were born and older children began their rumschpringe. Before long, the next cycle of marriages would begin.
For the first time in a very long time, Miriam felt tired. It was not the kind of tired one would inevitably experience after a long day of household chores, or working in the fields only to come home and tend to the dairy barn. No, it definitely wasn’t that. It was more like a mental fatigue; the outcome of an inner struggle filled with dilemmas, difficult decisions to ponder and unavoidable acceptance of what could not be undone. But perhaps the “undoing” was not quite hers to judge or to decide, after all?
Indeed, together with Elias, she had been at the helm of their family for so long, now. A pillar of moral support. She had been a good wife to Elias and a good mother to their children. A matriarch of sorts. Yet, together with that mental fatigue came a peaceful sensation; a sensation of having rightly stood by her beliefs, of having done her very best to raise her children right gut, the way she herself had been raised and her parents before her, true to her faith in the Creator, true to her Amish heritage.
And, looking at all those letters with these very different yet so familiar handwritings, some of which that she had herself helped forge and strengthen throughout the years, Miriam Fisher came to realize that this circle that she had started just a few months ago, this circle of letters was, actually, her own circle of life.
The Sequel
Click here to order the Second Round of Letters.
Recipes
Amish Meadow Tea
Recipe from Miriam Fisher
Boil one gallon of water.
When bubbling, put in a healthy handful of mint tea leaves from garden (about two huge fistful of cuttings).
Take off of the heat and let sit for 7 minutes.
Remove tea leaves from water.
Add 1.5 cups of sugar (more or less to suit your taste).
Put pot of water in a sink of cooler water (to cool down).
Refrigerate before serving.
Might need to be adjusted to accommodate your needs.
HINT: Growing tea plants in your garden is a wonderful adventure but be careful. Tea can take over your garden. You also need to cut the stalks BEFORE they flower. If they get spindly looking, cut them down and they will grow back. Most tea gardens can get 2-3 batches each season.
Amish Corn Flake Sugar Cookies
Recipe from Rachel Fisher Zook
Ingredients
• 1 cup shortening
• 1 ¾ cups brown sugar
• 2 eggs
• 2 cups flour
• ½ teaspoon salt
• 3 teaspoons baking powder
• ½ cup whole milk
• 2 cups corn flakes
• 1 teaspoon vanilla
Directions
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
After creaming the shortening and sugar together, add the eggs and vanilla. Beat until mixture is light and fluffy.
In a separate bowl, mix together all of the dry ingredients (except corn flakes). Sifting is recommended.
Add corn flakes to the dry ingredients and mix by hand.
Add dry ingredients and milk to the cream mixture. Stir until smooth.
Use a soupspoon or melon ball maker to drop the mixture onto a greased baking sheet. Leave space between each, as they will spread when cooking.
Bake for 10-12 minutes and let cool before serving.
Shoofly Pie
Recipe from Leah Fisher Miller
Ingredients
• 2 cups molasses
• 2 cups hot water
• 3 cup light brown sugar
• 1.5 teaspoon soda
• 5 cups flour
• 1 cup shortening
• .5 teaspoon cream of tartar
• 3-4 unbaked pie shells
Directions
Preheat oven to 450 degrees.
Mix molasses, hot water, 1 cup light brown syrup, and 1 teaspoon soda together. This is the syrup for the bottom of the pie.
Mix the rest of the ingredients. This is the crumb topping.
Pour the syrup into unbaked pie shells.
Divide crumbs on top.
Bake for 10 minutes then lower heat to 350 and bake for an hour.
Apple Crunch[5]
Recipe from Anna Fisher
Ingredients
• 5 to 6 apples, pared and sliced
• 1 cup flour
• 1 1/2 cups sugar
• 1 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 tsp salt
• 1 egg
• 1/3 cup butter or margarine, melted and cooled
• 1 tsp cinnamon
Directions
Place apples in a 9X13 inch baking dish.
Mix next 5 ingredients with a fork until crumbly.
Sprinkle over apples.
Pour melted butter or margarine over mixture.
Sprinkle with cinnamon.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes.
Cinnamon Minis[6]
Recipe from Lizzie Fisher Stoltzfus
Ingredients
• 2 cups flour
• 2/3 cup & 2 tbsp. Crisco
• 6 tbsp. water
• 1 stick butter- softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 1-2 tbsp. cinnamon
Directions
In a large bowl, add flour and cut in Crisco. When flour and Crisco are combined well, add in water and form into dough ball. Lightly flour the working surface.
Roll dough into a ¼” thick rectangle shape.
Spread butter over entire surface (more butter can be added if desired).
Mix together sugar and cinnamon. Coat the entire rectangle with the sugar mixture.
Tightly roll your dough and then cut into slices about a half-inch thick.
Bake at 350 degrees for 30 minutes or until golden brown.
Lima Bean and Corn Salad
Recipe from Sylvia Fisher Esh
Ingredients
• 1 cup butter, divided
• 2 cups fresh (or previously frozen) lima beans
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¼ teaspoon pepper
• 4 fresh tomatoes, peeled and chopped
• 2 teaspoons white sugar
• 2 cups fresh (or previously frozen) corn kernels, cut from the cob
Directions
Melt 1/2 cup butter in a large saucepan over medium heat. Stir in lima beans, salt, and pepper. Cook for approximately 20 minutes, testing the lima beans to make certain they are tender. In a separate saucepan, heat tomatoes, sugar and remaining 1/2 cup butter. Cook until tomatoes are tender (approximately 15-20 minutes). Combine the tomatoes into lima beans and add corn. Cook 10 minutes more. Serve hot or at room temperature.
Pennsylvania Dutch Potato Filling[7]
Recipe from Lovina Fisher Weaver
Ingredients
• 6-8 med. Potatoes
• 1 med/large onion
• 1 stick butter for sauté and 1/2 stick for pats on top before putting in oven
• 1 c. milk
• 2 slices white bread, torn in sm.
pieces and soak in 2/3 cup milk
• 1 lg. egg
• 1 bunch curly parsley
• Salt & pepper
Directions
Boil potatoes in salted water until done. Sauté chopped onion and cut up parsley in butter until soft and yellow.
Drain potatoes and mash using about 1/3 cup milk. Mix in sautéed onion parsley and butter, bread, egg and parsley.
Season to taste with salt and pepper. Thin to desired consistency with the rest of the milk. Beat thoroughly for a minute or two.
Pile in buttered baking dish. Dot with butter. Bake in 350 degree oven for approximately 1 hour.
Serve with gravy and any kind of meat and vegetables. Serves 8, to make enough for more, double the recipe.
Amish Chow-Chow
Recipe from Ella Riehl
Ingredients:
• 1 cup of the following: lima beans, cauliflower, onions cucumber, green beans, yellow beans, and carrots
• 1/4 c. salt
• 2 tsp. mustard seed
• 2 tsp. celery seed
• 2 c. vinegar
• 2 c. sugar
Directions
1. Cook all of the vegetable ingredients until tender.
2. Drain and let cool.
3. Chop them until they are same size.
4. Mix all ingredients.
5. Heat to a boil.
6. Best served cold.
7. To store, pack in jars and seal by boiling jars in water for at least ten minutes.
Amish Apple Crisp
Recipe from Mimi Hostetler
Ingredients:
• 6 large apples
• ¾ cup sugar