by Drew Avera
“A P.E.?” he asked, making a sour face as if she had said something that bordered on strange.
“Prior enlisted.”
“Oh,” he said with a grin. “We usually go by the moniker Mustang. It’s an old term from Earth having to do with a horse or something. I don’t imagine anyone in this system has even seen pictures of a horse, much less seen one with their own eyes, but the name stuck.”
“I’ve seen pictures,” Calibri replied.
“Really?” His eyebrows shot up.
She smiled, holding in laughter. “No, and I have no clue what one even looks like.”
Luke grinned and sat back in his seat, running his hand in his hair. “You know, you’re cute when you laugh.”
His words hit her dead in the stomach, making it hard for her to breathe. It wasn’t the first time a man had complimented her looks, but it was the first time in a long while, and especially considering the man was also military. “I—”
“Hey, I didn’t mean to catch you off guard. I’m sorry,” he said, leaning forward and taking her hand in his. She pulled back, confused. She forced a smile, but felt awkward by the fact he touched her. Not that it was unwelcome, but for some reason she was unsure.
“It’s fine, really,” she said finally. “I just don’t typically have conversations like this with people I work with.” Or ones I think are attractive, she thought out of nowhere.
“I understand,” Luke said. “I’m sorry if you feel I’m being too forward. It wasn’t my intention—and I am a professional.”
She smirked at the way he said “professional” as if he was boasting. “Really, it’s totally fine. I think the real issue I have is getting used to ship life and not having my normal group of friends. Fifteen years on Ukrainias is a long time to get settled in. I think my career took a hit because of it, but I loved my time there. This just isn’t the same, you know what I mean?”
“Absolutely,” Luke replied. “This ship is my fourth and I haven’t had a shore tour yet. Even being used to ship life can make transitioning to a new one difficult. The only thing about the Krylex that is familiar is Captain Tyrone. This is my third time serving under him. He likes me and I have no fucking idea why.”
His bold announcement made both of them laugh. Calibri thought she knew why the captain would ask for Luke to be stationed with him just by holding a conversation with Luke. He was interesting, intelligent, and easy to talk to. All of those were reasons to appreciate having him on board. The fact he was handsome wasn’t lost on her either.
“Captain Tyrone seems kind of intense,” she said as the laughter died down.
“He is, but I think it’s because he’s passionate. Maybe I’m wrong, but I have a feeling that is one man who truly gives a shit about his people. A lot of sailors gravitate towards those kinds of leaders. I think it’s why I agreed to come here, because I knew who I was going to be working for, and that makes all the difference for someone like me.”
Calibri smiled and tapped her fingers lightly on the table in front of her. “I imagine so. Hopefully the crew feels the same way about me over time.”
‘I’m sure they will. You just have to be visible. Anyways, I need to get back to work. It was nice speaking with you,” Luke said, standing to leave.
Calibri rose and extended her hand to him. His grip was strong but not overly tight. “I appreciate your taking the time to tell me about yourself and the ship,” she said.
Luke nodded. “The pleasure was all mine. Feel free to ask me anything at any time. I think you’ll find your time on this ship a good one.”
“Thank you, and I will most definitely take you up on the offer of asking a lot of questions. There’s only so much I can learn about how this ship operates from a few manuals.”
He laughed and she noticed the dimples in his cheeks. “Absolutely. You have a good day, XO.”
“You too,” she replied as he stepped past her and out of the wardroom.
Calibri stood there for a moment and looked around. The wardroom was half-filled with senior enlisted crew members and officers, hardly any of whom she recognized, much less knew their names. I’ve really got my work cut out for me, she thought as she stepped away from the table and began her walk to find the bridge. But only if I don’t get lost and die on this ship. She was only partially joking.
Chapter 5
Calibri found nights on the Krylex to be more than just lonely, but depressing as well. Even with a few weeks on board to get used to living on the ship, she had trouble getting to sleep. It was either too noisy or too quiet most nights for her mind to shut off and get adequate rest. Tonight was the former. Each sound on the ship could be traced back to something mechanical and she felt far away from any other humans despite the fact the ship had a crew of over one-hundred men and women. That sense of isolation often made her think of Ukrainias. For fifteen years she enjoyed the company of friends and could hear the bustling activity of the city’s night life from outside of her apartment. Even twenty stories up, the shrieks and calls of night life reverberated off the walls of her bedroom. Now, all she had were ambient noises echoing through the steel corridors of the passageways.
I miss home, she thought, even though home for her was Ukrainias and not Purst, where her family once lived. Her brother no longer lived in the city of their birth and, with her parents dead, she had no other tie to that past part of her life. Ukrainias was home and that was all there was to it in her mind. The Krylex? That was just an inconvenient necessity in her career. It’s only temporary.
Calibri rolled over in her bed and looked at the time. It was zero-one-thirty in the morning and she was expected to be on the bridge in four hours to meet with the Officer of the Deck to receive a pass down of the night’s activity. It was all part of her role as Executive Officer, but it was more hassle than it was worth. Nothing ever happens on this ship.
She lay back, eyes open to the dimly lit overhead. Her eyes played tricks on her and she tried to sort the details of the pattern on the ceiling, but with so little light it seemed the pattern kept changing every time she blinked. After a few minutes an image appeared, and she knew it was just her imagination, but that wasn’t the startling part. What worried her was of who the image resembled.
Well I’ll be—why am I thinking of him?
Luke was the closest person she had to a friend on the Krylex and that meant she saw more of him and spoke more to him than most of the other people she was around daily. Even the captain kept his distance from other members of the crew most days, being around only during training evolutions and daily meetings with the department heads. That was just how life was on a warship, but Luke was different. He was friendlier. The way he led his department showed that he truly cared about his people. It was that openness and compassion that drew Calibri to him. Maybe that’s why I’m thinking about him now. Being lonely and needing human interaction.
His life was much different from hers. He grew up on Jhont, which was a slum by many standards in the Chancerian Sector. Her family was better off, but not without their own problems. Luke told her that his parents were foster parents to many unfortunate kids. Luke was one of four kids taken in by the Lorenzo’s, who were paid by the government to take the kids in and raise them. That was how they were able to build their family after discovering Mrs. Lorenzo was not able to have children. Luke was the only one whose biological family was dead, but his foster siblings had no relationship with their real families either. It was something that made Calibri sad to think about, even though she cut herself off from her parents when she was forced into the Academy. That’s because I felt betrayed by them, she thought, not because they were not allowed to communicate with me legally. The more she thought about his life and how far he had come as a man, the more she admired him. He overcame a life filled with setbacks, but he did not take any of the past out on other people. Most in his situation would have grown bitter and distant, but Luke seemed more alive and happy for having gone through suc
h hardships.
But that wasn’t where her thoughts stopped. Each time she closed her eyes she saw his face, and each time how she felt by seeing him in her mind’s eye shifted. Loneliness and a need for compassion was a recipe for feelings she hadn’t felt since she was a teenager. Oh my god, she thought as realization kicked her in the gut. I’m attracted to him!
Chapter 6
It was awkward for Calibri to sit next to Luke, his head in his hands and his shoulders slumped. She tried patting him on the back, but touching him almost felt as if it was the last thing to help make things better for him. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how devastating this is for you.” Just looking into his eyes is enough to know that there’s a void in his heart now that may never be filled, she thought.
“Thank you for that. I really appreciate your letting me talk to you about it, and I’m sorry to burden you with this.”
“There’s no need to apologize,” Calibri retorted. “We’re friends and this is what friends do.”
He sat up and looked at her. She could tell he was forcing the smile that slowly crept onto his face. “I think you’re pulling double duty for this one, friend. I really do appreciate it. You’re good to talk to.”
She smiled back at him. “It’s easy when you care about the other person,” she said, immediately regretting how those words sounded as they fell from her lips. She did care for him, and her thoughts often drifted to him as she lay in bed at night, but that was her secret and not one she wanted to make known, especially to him. She struggled to come up with a follow-up statement, one that didn’t insinuate there was anything between them unbecoming of officers in the Chancerian Navy, but she had nothing.
“Oh, thank you for that,” he said, a nervous chuckle under his breath. “I was afraid you were only listening because you’re my XO, not because you cared.” His chuckle grew more genuine as he sat and looked at one another. A part of her was glad he didn’t seem to take what she said seriously, but “seem” was the operative word.
Not wanting to dwell on something neither of them could truly come back from, she returned the conversation to Luke’s unfortunate news. “What was his name?”
Luke leaned back, resting his chin on his hand. She saw a trembling of his lip before he answered. “His name was Bryan and he was adopted like me,” he answered. Luke closed his eyes and Calibri knew it was because he was fighting back a sob.
She had never seen Luke this way. When he called her quarters, he sounded upset, but Calibri mistakenly thought it was sadness she detected in his voice; not sad devastation. “How did it happen?” she asked, hoping the question would not send him into another tearful breakdown. She hated seeing him this way, the smile gone from his lips and the light faded from his eyes. She knew what he was going through. She experienced the same thing when her parents passed away, but seeing it etched on someone else’s face was harder than dealing with her own loss. Maybe that’s because resentment clouded my feelings for my family, she thought.
“It was a turf war with the Krell; that’s one of the latest gang affiliations creeping into my family’s neighborhood. He was shot dead in the streets just for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.”
It was evident to Calibri that growing up on Jhont was far different from what she experienced on Purst. There was violence on Purst, sure, but not at the magnitude of how Luke described it. “That’s terrible,” she said, having a hard time finding something new to say that would be comforting while not dwelling on the death. Calibri was uncomfortable with death, never crying at funerals or at the news of someone’s passing. Instead, she always retreated mentally. It was her way of coping, no matter what other people thought about it. Not crying at her parent’s funeral caused a lot of the attendees to stare at her in judgment. Fuck them, she thought, as she stood overlooking the funeral pyres. Her brother was only ten-years-old at the time, but he was taken in by a government school to teach him to be an engineer, versus being sent to the Academy for military service like her. It was something she always envied about him.
“He was going to be a doctor,” Luke said. “He had one more year of medical school before going to Kero to serve the poor and starving people there. He had a good heart and was compassionate, far more than anyone else I’ve ever known.”
“He sounds like he was a good man, and I know the settlers on Kero would have benefited by his going.”
“He was,” Luke replied, wiping away something from his eye.
“Have you contacted your family?”
He shrugged. “I sent a video message, but with the lag time I doubt they’ve received it yet.”
“I’m sure they will be happy to hear from you,” she said, hoping it was the right thing to say and not something that would make him feel more guilty for not returning home. Things were not easy when you were traveling farther away from home every second, exploring past star systems in search of habitable planets. Each outpost was several days’ travel, even under normal conditions and near light speed travel. The Krylex did not carry transport ships with that kind of range or capability, and the next resupply was weeks away. There was nothing they could do to send Luke to his family for the funeral. It was a damnable reality of military life and one that made her heart ache. I’m sure he feels infinitely worse than I do about this.
"I don't know what to do. He was my brother, blood relations or not, and I can't go home to see him laid to rest," Luke said. His eyes were red from crying, but it seemed to Calibri that he had shed all the tears he was capable of for the time being.
She didn't know what to do or say to help him cope. What would make me feel better?
Calibri took his hand in hers, feeling the warmth of his palms with her fingertips despite how cold the room felt. "I'm sure he knew how much you loved him, and I'm sure your family understands that being so far away makes it impossible for you to go home." Her words felt shallow and she bit back the rest of the awkward rhetoric she heard through countless years of seeing other people trying to comfort their friends. Awkward wasn't a severe enough word to describe how it felt to try and pick up the pieces of someone's broken heart.
Luke nodded, wiping his eyes with his free hand. "Thank you," he said quietly.
She felt him squeeze her hand, rubbing the top of it with his thumb. His touch reminded her of the thoughts coursing through her mind over the past several nights. Part of her felt ashamed to think about that while Luke sat feeling as though his life outside of the Chancerian Navy was crumbling. The other part of her romanticized the moment because she just wanted to be close to him. What does that say about me?
"I'm always here for you," she said, but her words were cut off by Luke pressing his lips against hers. Caught off guard, she pulled away, her eyes wide as she stared at him.
"I'm sorry," he started, but she returned his kiss, pulling herself towards him. It felt like a dream. It felt like the way her imagination thought it would be.
He pulled on her, cupping parts of her body in his hands, rubbing every curve and squeezing it as their tongues danced passionately. Her fingers found the zipper of his coveralls, but when she went to unzip it when he stopped her, taking her hand in his.
"Wait," he said. "Not here."
He rose from the couch in his office and took her hand, leading her from his office and down a series of passageways leading to a dim section of the ship. She knew he owned the spaces and knew which ones would be unoccupied. Calibri followed, her heart pounding with anticipation. She felt like a kid getting away with something, sneaking around to not be caught. She couldn't deny it was sexy as hell.
Luke turned another corner and led her into a space she didn't know existed. Closing the door behind them, Luke pressed her against the bulkhead, his lips returning to hers. Exactly where they belong. It might be reality, but for Calibri it felt like a dream.
The dim lights of the fan room cast ominous shadows along the bulkhead Luke's hands tugged on Calibr
i's coveralls, pulling them down from her shoulders. Her hands caught in the cuffs as she struggled to bring them to his face. She kissed him with longing, his bottom lip with a delicate touch before sucking on it, tasting the hint of alcohol on his breath. Any other day and this would not happen, but somewhere in the void between being homesick and lonely, they found one another. The loss of his step-brother brought them together. His reminiscing showed Calibri the strength of his love for his family and something about that turned her on in a way she could never have imagined.
Is this right?
It was not an easy question to answer, but it was easy to give in to the impulse.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Luke asked. The question felt like an accusation to Calibri. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to, she thought, but bit back the words. Instead, she settled for, "Shut up and take off your clothes."
Luke’s mischievous grin turned her knees to liquid. He gripped his coveralls and pulled them down with a quick pull at the collar. The zipper glided downward effortlessly. "Yes, ma'am," he said, his uniform falling to the deck and he pulled her close to him, their lips locking once again as the cool air hummed in the fan room, muffling the sounds coming from them as they moaned with lust.
His lips tickled her neck as she wrapped her arms around him. She often imagined what this moment would feel like, but actually experiencing it felt different in all the right ways. Calibri stifled a laugh as he sucked on the sensitive skin where her neck and shoulder met, and she was thankful it would be covered by the collar of her uniform later. She closed her eyes, forcing away the thought of how wrong they were to be violating the law. Does the government not know how amazing this feels? Her concentration was interrupted by his hands grabbing her ass and pulling her up onto his hips, where she wrapped her bare legs around him, finally feeling the culmination of sexual tension being met by two lustful bodies. It was an experience she never knew before, but the taste of it was enough to let her know that she wanted more.