by Nola Marie
Finally, though, we are all loaded in the SUV to head back to the hotel. Except we’re short two people, and we are pulling out of the station’s studio.
“Where are we going?” I asked Maddox quietly. “Aren’t we forgetting someone?”
“Angel wanted to go back to the hotel,” he tells me without meeting my eyes. It doesn’t stop me from noticing the smirk that plays on his lips.
"We’re not going back to the hotel?” I‘m curious even though I have a sinking feeling I don’t want to know the answer.
He looks over to me with those brilliant eyes playfully. “No, Sweetheart. We are celebrating your birthday.”
“I told you guys I don’t want to do that,” I groan.
“You were outvoted, Love. Five to one,” Ryder reaches over and flicks my nose like I’m a contrary child.
“Five?” my head tilts in question.
Maddox stretches his long arm across the back of the seat and leans over to me. “Just because he’s not here, doesn’t mean he didn’t agree.”
I nod in understanding because I do understand. He remembered my birthday and wants me to know. That doesn’t mean he wants to be around me. Or me around him.
“So where are you taking me. Against my will I might add. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t that a felony? One that wouldn’t look so great on up-and-coming rock stars?”
“Har har,” Dane quips with sarcasm. “You’ll know when we get there.”
I can’t begin to guess where they think a good place for a twenty-eight-year-old birthday celebration might be. At noon no less. All I can do is sit back and enjoy the ride.
Or at least try. It’s not easy when my stomach gets tied in knots every birthday. Especially when it involves celebrating in some way. It never fails for something to go epically wrong.
When we pull into the parking lot, my jaw nearly hits the floor. I don’t know what I was expecting but it was definitely not this. “What part of ‘no money’ do you imbeciles not understand?” I growl though gritted teeth.
“That is no way to say thank you,” Maddox chastises.
“Thank you to what? That you brought me to a place that I definitely can’t afford,” I ask in exasperation.
“This isn’t costing you a thing,” Camilla tells me.
“I’ll pay you back when we return to New York,” I snap at her.
“Don’t look at me,” she snaps back, shaking her head. “Maddox and Ryder rented out the park for the afternoon.”
I whip around to glare at both of them. “That is way too much.”
“Maybe so, Love, but we wanted in on the fun. We may not be Dirty Minds famous, but places like this can be difficult for us.”
I look out the window again. The fountain with the huge globe sits in front of the red-carpeted main entrance. My inner child is excited and sad all at once. I’ve always wanted to go here. Since I was a little girl, this was the place for me. Not Disney World like the rest. My parents never really took the time for vacations though and when I got older, I found myself following the same pattern.
“All right,” I finally relent with a tiny smile. “Diagon Alley here we come.”
After hours of riding every ride the park had to offer and then some, we are being led to the VIP area of some club. I’m feeling super guilty because these are Angel’s friends, but I’m here instead of him.
I follow closely behind Maddox with Ryder flanking me while Cami stays close to Dane. We are being led to an upstairs area that looks below to the main dance floor and bar where people are dancing to the thumping bass of the music. A server appears, telling us they will be exclusive to us for the night, and takes our orders. Ryder orders double tequila shots for all of us and then we each order whatever else we want.
I laugh as I watch Camilla drag a scowling Dane to the dance floor. I turn to see Maddox pouring white powder onto the table and dividing it into separate lines. He looks at me a bit nervously for a second before asking, “you don’t mind, do you? Just a pick me up from all the excitement.”
He’s lying to me. This is not a one-off thing. I’ve noticed he’s high more often than he’s not, but he’s also highly functioning. I don’t know if anyone else notices and I don’t know him well enough to say something. Not to mention he’s not the only one. Ryder and Angel are right there with him. Although, I don’t think Angel is quite as often as the other two who seem to be flying every minute of the day.
I also don’t know what his reasons are, but I know after the last few months I’ve had, I wouldn’t mind a little something to numb it all for a bit myself.
“I don’t mind if you plan on sharing,” I tell him.
He leans back with raised brows of shock. “I didn’t think this would be your thing.”
“And you know me so well because?” I retort.
“We don’t mean it in a bad way, Beautiful,” Ryder explains. “Angel just told us -.”
“Let me stop you right there,” I tell them both sternly. “Angel doesn’t know a thing about me. Whatever he told you was about the naïve girl he used to know. That girl has been gone a very long time.”
They give each other wary glances. They’re debating on something. I get tired of waiting on them to decide. I walk over, grab a straw, and inhale one of the lines.
They both stare at me slack jawed. Worry creases their foreheads. I reach over and lift their mouths back in place then smooth out the worry. “You’re going to catch flies and get wrinkles,” I tell them both with a smirk.
“No one finds out about this,” Ryder whispers.
“No one, Josie,” Maddox repeats with the same tone he uses on the guys when they argue. Or Angel and me. “We don’t need the problems this will cause.”
I give them both a puzzled look. They’re serious, but I have no idea what they are talking about. I’m also starting not to care.
The server comes back with our shots and drinks. I take two as all reservations about today become a distant memory. I relish the burn of the liquid going down like I did the burn in my nose. I lean over to the very sexy men, planting a kiss on each of their luscious mouths, all the while enjoying the looks of mortification on their faces. Looks that say they’ve unleashed a monster.
They’re not entirely wrong. High and drunk Josie has a lot less emotional baggage. And she also has a whole lot less give a fuck in her.
“I’m going to dance and get laid,” I tell them both. “Maybe not in that order.”
“Angel is going to fucking kill us,” I hear Maddox groan making me spin on my heels.
“Why the hell do you keep bringing him into this?” I hiss.
“Because he cares about you, Josephine,” Ryder tells me pointedly while taking an elbow from Maddox. “Ow. What was that for?”
I don’t give Maddox a chance to answer him. I move so that I am, once again, standing directly in front of the two men. With my arms crossed I stare down at them waiting on an answer.
They look up from their seated positions. Tequila and cocaine run rampant through my system making my already loose filter where Angel is concerned fall away completely. “Let me tell you two something,” I blast, causing them both to look around nervously. “Angel Martin hasn’t given a fuck about me since the day he decided to set me up to witness Erica riding his dick. He doesn’t get to have an opinion about me or anything I do. Not after what he did. Not after he continued to fuck the bitch that made it her mission in life to make mine hell. I don’t care if we were kids. If he cared, he would’ve been there for me.”
“If he didn’t care, why’d he set all this up?” Ryder demands, standing to look me in the eyes. Or actually to look down at me, making it my turn to flinch. “Why would he pay an ungodly amount of bloody money to have the park shut down on short notice or arrange our seats here?”
“You said you paid for it,” I argue weakly because why. Why would Angel do all of this?
The only explanation I can come up with is guilt.
�
�We lied,” Ryder growls at me, his blue eyes flashing with anger.
Maddox looks at me sympathetically. “He didn’t want you to know, Josephine.”
“You know what?” I challenge them both. “It doesn’t even matter. Whether this was done out of guilt or pity or whatever, it’s too little too fucking late.”
“What the hell is going on here?” Dane demands behind me.
“Not a thing,” I seethe. “Not a goddamn thing. Now if you’ll excuse me. Like I said before, I am going to dance and get laid.”
I walk past Dane quickly before any of them see my tears fall.
Angel
Song
Black
We exit the stage to a crowd demanding another encore even though we’ve already given them two because Florida definitely loves us. Someone hands us each a towel to wipe our sweat drenched faces.
Miami has been our best show so far. The crowd went absolutely insane for us. We were all perfect with playing and Maddox’s voice reached places I’m not sure he knew he could reach.
Backstage is where things aren’t so great. The tension between Josie and all of us – not just me this time – has been nearly suffocating. I still don’t know the whole story about the other night, but I know it was not what I intended for her.
I do know that a little after 3 AM, my phone brought me out of a nice little buzz I had going after a couple lines. Maddox was demanding I get to Josie’s room sounding worried and pissed all at once. It only took me a couple of minutes to make my way down the hallway of the tenth floor to her room.
When I got in there, Maddox looked well beyond his limits to handle much more which is saying a lot. His hair was standing nearly straight up. His glassy eyes looked like he was on the verge of a breakdown. Something had definitely triggered him and that made me start worrying.
“What’s going on?” I demanded as soon as I closed the door behind me.
“Bathroom,” he told me simply without offering a hint of more explanation.
I crossed the room into the tiny bathroom to find her sitting on the floor in her underwear, head hanging over the toilet with Ryder holding her hair back.
“What the fuck?” I bellowed.
“Don’t just stand there,” he told me. “Help me get her into the shower.”
I started stripping out of my clothes then walked to pick her up from the floor while Ryder started the shower that I knew was probably like ice. She hung limply in my arms, unable to even lift her own arm.
I stepped into the shower with a hiss. I tried setting her to her feet, but she couldn’t hold herself up. “How much did you let her fucking drink?” I demanded with a scathing glare cast toward Ryder.
“This isn’t just alcohol mate,” he told me with his own glare.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” I demanded again.
“She did a line of coke when we got to the club,” he answered me simply.
“Where did she get coke from?” I questioned because there is no way that Josie could get that on her own.
“From me and Maddox, and before you throw more bullshit our way, no, we did not let her do it. We turned away for a split second and when we turned back, she was finishing up. Then she proceeded to toss back a few shots and disappeared to the dancefloor to, and I quote ‘dance and get laid’.”
My grip on her tightened and I clenched my teeth at the thought that anyone had their hands – or anything else – on her. “And you just let her walk off?” I accused.
“Of course, we didn’t. We watched her from the second level. Some guy started dancing with her then handed her something else to take. Molly I’m assuming. We got to her as he was trying to get her to go with him. By the time we reached her, I guess the combination of everything was getting to her because she was swaying on her feet. Maddox carried her in here then called you.”
“Why wasn’t he in here helping?” I demanded still holding Josie up.
“That’s a long story and not his fault. Focus on her right now. I’m sending Mads for some water and coffee.”
“Are you sure she doesn’t need a hospital?” I asked, worried about the way I could feel her heartbeat against her chest.
“She should be fine. Stay here with her to get her body temperature back down. Try to keep her awake.”
He walked out of the bathroom, leaving me with her. I lowered us to the floor and pulled her into my lap. “Josie, Baby, wake up. Okay? Wake up for me.”
Her eyes fluttered for a minute. Those bright lagoon eyes, red and glassy stared at me completely unfocused. “Angel,” she muttered making me breathe out in relief that she at least recognized me. “I miss you so much,” she continued to mutter, and my own heart picked up speed at the comment. “You hurt me so much. Seeing you everyday hurts. Right here,” she pointed to her heart.
Fuck. I did not bet on this happening. I figured she’d go to Universal Studios and live her childhood dream then have a few drinks and little fun.
All this time I’ve been focused on how much seeing her was hurting me. I didn’t really care just how much she was hurting too.
I may not have understood what happened to us, but I’ve always known whatever it was, she was hurt too. I brushed her wet hair from her face and placed a kiss to her forehead. “I know, Baby,” I told her honestly. “Seeing you everyday rips my goddamned heart out.”
I stayed with her all night. I fell asleep beside her. It was the best sleep I’d had in years. Around noon, when I woke, I quietly slipped out.
I have no idea what she does and doesn’t remember. I do know she remembers I was there because she woke up a few times. Once she even moved my hair as she thought I slept, whispering how beautiful I was and how hurt she was. That was hard to hear for the second time in as many hours.
Other than that, I have no idea. I just know that seeing her like that and hearing that from her was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a while.
I shake the thoughts from my head as I begin to strip out of the clothes that she and Camilla gave to us for the show. We all put our own clothes back on and begin to head out.
“Who’s up for a party?” Jamie from Dirty Minds asks us.
I wave them off. I plan on sleeping until the flight tomorrow. We have several signings and interviews in River City day after tomorrow afternoon. The bus can’t possibly make it since it has to stop for eight hours after driving ten.
We leave together as security clears a path. I watch with a mixture of anger, frustration, and hurt as Josie climbs into the car with Jamie. I notice Camilla following as well as Dane.
“You can go too, you know?” Maddox tells me.
“I’m not going anywhere near Blaze,” I remark. “I’m going to rip that douche bag’s head off one day. Why aren’t you two going?”
“We have a private party going on,” Ryder tells me with a grin. “Want to join in on the fun?”
I shake my head with a laugh I’m not really feeling. “I think I’m good.”
“You won’t be until you handle your business,” Maddox tells me.
I think about what he’s saying and the fact that Josie just went to a party with Erikson. I think about the other night, holding her and praying to God she’d be okay.
“Hang on,” I call out to Jamie.
“Change your mind?” he grins.
“Yeah.” I climb into the car with him. I watch as Erikson throws a few daggers my way. Josie blatantly ignores me. She ignores all of us but Jamie and Tyler.
Dane gives me an approving nod while Cami watches Josie with worry.
Josie’s birthday really fucked them both. Ryder, Maddox, and I took care of Josie. Dane took care of Cami who spent most of the night hugging the toilet thanks to a dozen shots of tequila.
Like I said, things have been tense since that night.
It seems Dane and Cami have formed some sort of friendship over the whole mess. They’ve been spending time together backstage talking and laughing. And now he’s
off to a Dirty Minds party which is very out of character for him. He hates Erickson as much as I do.
I lean over and nod to Cami. “Something going on there?” I ask to distract myself from Josie flirting with Jamie and Tyler.
“Just friends,” he shrugs. “She’s cool. We get along. Got a few things in common. What about you? You hate Erikson.”
“Just changed my mind,” I tell him while I turn my eyes back to Josie. I know she can feel me watching her. I can tell by the way she squirms.
Dane’s eyes move to her for a minute. He chuckles with a shake of his head. “Sure, you did. And I’m running for president.”
“Just don’t trust Erikson around her,” I tell him.
“Or any other guy.”
“I can’t stop her if it’s what she wants,” I tell him though it kills me to say it. “But I can make sure she knows what the fuck she’s doing.”
“The other night shouldn’t have happened,” he grunts. He gives me a very pointed look. “It wouldn’t have happened if you three could keep your fucking noses clean.”
“Damn nose is clean now,” I tell him. When he gives me a doubtful look I smile with upturned hands. “Swear. Not since the other night. Scared the fuck out of me.”
“You weren’t as bad as the other two anyway,” he tells me with a sigh. “But saying something to them won’t work. They’re going to have to realize it on their own.”
“At least they still hide it well enough,” I tell him.
“That’s what makes it so bad,” he tells me. “Maddox won’t slow down as long as he can keep going as he is. That guy worries the hell out of me.”
The car stops in front a hotel different from the one we’re staying at. We all climb out and make our way to the top floor.
This party is off to a fantastic start with all sorts of self-indulgence and debauchery flowing like wine as soon as we step off the elevator. Most of the people are half-dressed. A few not dressed at all. Booze is literally flowing from a fountain. Drugs litter nearly every surface.
When a person looks up sex, drugs, and rock and roll, this scene is exactly what they’ll find.
Josie and Cami are instantly pulled by Jamie to some corner. My teeth grind as I watch. “We’re going to be spending this entire party watching out for them,” I tell Dane.