The shutters had been open today and Rose had seen their visitors. She had seen Marston’s reaction to those men and she had heard every word they had said to one another. She had seen Marston whispering to Langley after they had left and then had watched Marston slip away into the woods.
Rose wasn’t sure exactly how she felt about what had transpired outside today. All she knew for sure was that she needed to talk to Marston. Rose didn’t want to push the man away. She knew how scared he was both physically and emotionally but at the same time, she couldn’t allow these kinds of things to happen without at least speaking about them.
Langley went into the water closet and once the sound of running water reached her ears, Rose turned to Marston. “We need to talk.”
Marston nodded as he slid his knife across the sharpening stone. “About what?” he asked without looking at her.
“Those men who were here today and your reaction to them.”
Marston’s head snapped up and his golden eyes narrowed. “Did Langley tell you?”
“No, he obeyed your orders,” Rose snapped sharply. “And don’t do that again. Don’t tell my son to keep secrets from me.”
“I did that to protect you,” Marston insisted.
Rose pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders and shook her head. “Langley and I have a close relationship, Marston. He trusts me and I trust him. I don’t want there to be any secrets.”
Marston sighed and laid his sharpening stone on the table as he holstered his knife. “I’m sorry,” he finally muttered. “I’m new to all this family business and I made a bad decision.”
Rose’s eyes widened. “Family?”
Marston cleared his throat and removed his gray hat. He tossed it on the table and stretched out his legs. “Did I overstep by saying that?” he asked without meeting her gaze.
Rose smiled. “No, you didn’t overstep. I actually like the idea.”
Relief filled his eyes as he looked at her, but then he frowned. “How did you know those men were here?”
Rose listened to the ticking of the clock for several long moments before finally licking her lips and staring into the fire. “I heard you talking to them, Marston. I heard everything.”
Marston felt his heart tighten painfully. His hands were shaking so he busied himself by grabbing a coin from his pocket and tapping it on his thigh. “What exactly did you hear?” he asked tightly.
“All of it,” Rose whispered. “It’s hard to imagine you doing those things, Marston.”
Marston forced himself to meet her gaze. The fear of her rejection was strong, but Marston Jacob’s was no coward. “I did bad things, Rose. I told you as much. I’m a bad man, Rose.”
“You were,” she admitted. “You’re not any longer.”
Marston was about to reply when the water turned off in the washroom and Rose put her finger to her lips to silence him. Marston watched her as she rose to her feet and he was unable to keep his eyes from roaming over her soft full body. Rose was the single greatest temptation Marston had ever been faced with.
Marston offered Langley a small smile as the boy stepped out of the washroom in a pair of faded red long johns. “Goodnight Marston,” Langley said as he his hand over his damp red hair.
“Goodnight kid,” Marston replied. “Oh and Langley?”
“What?” Langley asked, pausing in his bedroom door.
“I was wrong earlier today. You shouldn’t keep stuff from your mama. I never had a mama so I didn’t know that rule, but it’s a good one.”
“Yessir,” Langley agreed with a nod before walking into his room. Rose gave Marston a grateful smile before following the boy.
Marston sat there alone, staring into the fire and rolling that coin between his fingers. Family. The idea was foreign to him, but he liked the thought. The closest he’d ever had to a real family had been Duke and Jeremiah and either one of them would sacrifice the others to save themselves.
Marston had to wonder if he could do the family thing or if he’d only end up letting Rose and Langley down. He shoved his hand through his thick brown hair and stared up at the rough planked ceiling. He wouldn’t let them down. He couldn’t change what he’d done in the past or who he had been, but there wasn’t anything stopping him from being something different now.
He was still staring at the ceiling when Rose returned several minutes later. She sat down on the sofa and curled her legs beneath her. “Rose I….” Marston began, but Rose cut him off by raising her hand when he turned his head to look at her.
“Let me talk, please,” she whispered. Marston nodded. “I understand that the skinny man was your brother?” Again Marston nodded. “Who was the other man to you?”
“He took me and my brother in after we left the orphanage,” Marston replied.
Rose chewed the inside of her lip. “Are they bad men?”
“No worse than me.”
Rose’s deep blue eyes narrowed as she studied him. “I heard what was said, Marston. That older man said you never enjoyed it as much as they did and I can see for myself that you aren’t the man you were then any longer.”
Marston didn’t want her to be fooled by her own hopes. “I’m still the same man, Rose, but I won’t do the same things.”
“I have faith in you, Marston,” Rose whispered, taking Marston’s hand gently in her own. “But do you believe you can change?”
Marston stared at her hand on his and nodded. “Yes. With you and with Langley I can. I was honest with you from day one about the man I was, Rose, but I would never do anything to hurt you or that boy. As a matter of fact, I’d give my life to keep you both safe. And for me, that’s saying something.”
“If you want me gone, Rose, I’ll go. I shouldn’t have made myself at home here the way I did. You’re too good a woman for a man like me…” he admitted, his gaze dropping to the floor.
Rose moved as quickly as her weak body would allow and went to him. She dropped to her knees beside his chair and he growled. “Get up…. I don’t like the thought of you getting dirty on the floor.”
Rose just smiled and laid her hand on his cheek. She could see the pain and fear in his golden eyes and it touched her heart that he would show her those emotions he generally kept hidden.
“Marston, I want you here,” Rose vowed. Marston studied her eyes for any sign of doubt but found none. Instead, what he saw there left him speechless. Never had he been gazed upon by the loving eyes of a woman. “I know that you have a past and that you’ve done bad things, but I also know deep in my heart that you are not a bad man and you will never hurt us. You left us one and it nearly did me in, but I never stopped wanting you to come back. You just had to go out and find whatever it was you were looking for.”
Marston swallowed hard. “I realized once I was gone that I had left everything I wanted right here in this cabin.”
Rose lowered her gaze to his chest and removed her hand from his cheek. “I do have to ask one question.”
Marston suddenly felt cold without the contact of her skin against him. “What?”
“Is your being here going to place Langley in danger?” When Marston’s eyes narrowed, Rose was quick to elaborate. “I mean from those men or others like him?”
Marston shook his head. “Duke and Jeremiah are no danger to you.”
“You sure acted like they were a danger when you were hitting and threatening to kill them just a few hours ago.”
Marston sighed. “I was only proving a point, that’s all,” he assured her. “And at first I wasn’t quite so sure they weren’t a danger but after the talk we had, I’m sure they don’t mean you any harm.”
“What point were you trying to prove exactly?” Rose asked.
Marston reached out and took a soft red curl between his fingers, unable to stand the lack of physical contact between them. “Duke seemed to think I’d gone soft and in our world soft is a weakness and a death sentence. I was proving to him that I wasn’t as gone as he thought I
was.”
“Do you hit all your friends, Marston?”
“Why?” Marston asked, grinning at the sight of the dramatic frown on her face.
“So I can be prepared to duck.”
Marston laughed lightly and then scooped her up from the floor and sat her down gently in his lap. Rose had always been a larger woman but Marston was a giant of a man and when he held her in his arms this way, she felt very close to dainty.
“You’re more than just a friend,” Marston assured her, burying his nose in her soft red curls and breathing her in.
Rose stiffened as memories of men before him threatened to steal the pleasure she had had a glimpse of when first wrapped in his arms. “Don’t be afraid of me, Rose,” Marston pleaded softly.
Rose’s legs relaxed over the side of the chair and she found her entire body sinking into him. This was Marston. This was the man who had cared for her and for her son, who had nursed her back to health when she’d been near death.
“I’m not afraid of you,” she vowed.
Marston smiled as he held her close. This was so different from anything Marston had ever done with any other woman—or person for that matter. This was tender and sweet. It was safe and warm. Why the devil had he ever left Rose and Langley?
Silence fell over the room as the two of them simply enjoyed the closeness and listened to the logs crackling in the fire. “What led you to that life?” Rose finally whispered.
Marston could think of a million things he would rather talk about, but he knew he wouldn’t deny Rose anything she wanted. “I grew up in an orphanage,” he replied. “My mama dropped Jeremiah and I off there when I was too little to remember. I have no memories of the woman but Jeremiah does and his memories make me glad I don’t have any. They figure I was somewhere between the age of one and three when she set me on that doorstep so I’m somewhere around thirty now."
“It’s still hard for me to believe that you don’t know your birthday,” Rose admitted. “That’s terrible.”
Marston chuckled. “Out of all the things that have happened in my life, not knowing by birthday is the least of the evils.”
He ran his fingertips down her arm and Rose felt a delicious shiver run throughout her body. “It’s still terrible,” she insisted, trying hard to push away the feelings he stirred within her. Rose knew she wasn’t ready to take that step with a man—not even Marston.
“Well if it makes you feel any better, Jeremiah seems to think I was born sometime in the spring,” Marston stated. “Anyway, the orphanage was rough. The headmaster was a cold-hearted bastard and he seemed to take pleasure in beating us over the smallest of things. As I got older I rebelled and that just led to the punishments getting worse. Whips, knives, isolation, starvation—whatever means he thought necessary to keep me in line and teach me a lesson.”
Rose shivered as she squeezed her eyes shut and fought back the images or Marston receiving that kind of treatment. She knew what those punishments felt like and Rose would not wish them on anyone.
“What about this?” Rose asked, opening her eyes once more. She gently touched the circular scar marring his cheek. “How did you get this?”
“There was a boy. He was younger than me and small and weak. He got sick and was real cold so I gave him my blankets. The headmaster got angry and hit me—I hit him back. The headmaster used my face as an ashtray and the boy died.”
Rose snuggled closer to him, wishing she could take away the pain of his past but knowing she couldn’t. “How did you meet Duke?”
Marston took her hand in his and entwined their fingers as he stared at the wall. “I was more man than boy and was bigger and meaner than anyone else at the orphanage. Jeremiah showed up one day, he’d been gone a while, and he had Duke with him. They packed me up and took me out.”
“So the orphanage taught you to be cold and Duke…?”
“Duke taught me that caring about anyone else would only get you killed. He taught me to live for myself and no one else. Being soft would end with you shot and falling in love was for fools.”
Rose absently picked at the button on his shirt. “Sometimes being a fool is awfully tempting…”
Marston smiled. “Yes, ma’am.” He kissed her hair. “It is.”
They fell into silence once again and Rose sighed. “I suppose that means it’s my turn now.”
“Your turn for what?” Marston asked, his voice heavy as if he’d been close to sleep.
“Don’t tell me you haven’t wondered what a young woman was doing married to a man as old as Langston.”
Marston shrugged and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. “I wondered. I judged you pretty damn harsh for it at first. But I know you better now and I know you must have had a damn good reason.”
“I did.” Rose nodded. “I don’t.. I don’t think I can talk about it though.. I…”
Marston heard the fear rising in her voice and he held her tighter. “You're safe now, Rose. Whatever happened in your past will never happen again. Not with me here.”
Rose stared up at him, in awe of the man he was. Marston grumbled. “Don’t look at me like that. It makes me feel awkward enough when the boy does it.”
“Sorry,” Rose replied with a smile. She rested her head back against his heart. “I was in a truly bad situation and would have died had Langston not come along. He felt sorry for me and he took me away from there, but we were never in love… He was simply a very good friend.”
“I’m guessing Langston Junior isn’t Langston’s blood?” Marston asked quietly, twisting a loose thread from her dress around his finger.
“No,” Rose whispered, feeling that familiar blanket of shame. “Three weeks after Langston rescued me, I realized I was with child. Do you know what that man did when I told him?” Marston shook his head. “He married me! He said the boy needed a father and he even went as far as to give Langston his name. Just after Langley was born, the law came and took Langston away from us.”
“You’re a strong woman and you’ve been through more than your share of heartache.”
“I vowed that I would give Langley a better life. That he would never know the pain and the fear I knew…”
“Who caused you that pain, Rose? Who gave you those scars?”
Marston cursed himself the moment those words left his mouth and he remembered he wasn’t supposed to know about those scars.
Rose scrambled from his arms and stared at him in shock. “How did you know?”
“I stole a peek yesterday when I put you in the shower,” he admitted sheepishly. Her eyes shone with tears and Marston wished that he had lied. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself and I just want you to know that…”
“You had no right to do that, Marston. No right at all!” she snapped as she wrapped that blanket tight around her.
Marston held up his hands. “I know but….”
Marston wanted to get his two cents in but Rose seemed determined not to hear him. She turned on her heel and stomped for her room. Marston could hear her breathing becoming more labored and he knew her lungs must be burning from the excretion of her temper.
“I’m tired,” she hissed before stepping into her room and slamming the door.
Marston slowly got to his feet and made his way to the closed door. He wanted to kick the damn thing in and force the woman to listen to him, but he knew that would only make matters worse.
“Rose, can you please open this door so we can talk?” he requested as calmly as he could manage. “I don’t feel like having a conversation with a closed door.”
“No,” Rose replied and Marston was certain that she was crying.
His heart ached in his chest. “Come on, Rose. Open the door.”
“Just go to sleep, Marston.”
Marston threw up his hands and stormed back to the sofa. He jerked his boots from his feet and tossed them across the cabin, letting them bounce off the wall and land with a thud on the floor. He unhooked his gun belt and laid it in the
armchair before flopping down on the sofa and putting his hands behind his head.
Langley’s bedroom door opened and the boy passed by him on the way to the water pitcher on the kitchen counter. He poured himself a glass and took a drink. “Has your mother always been so damn moody?” Marston growled.
Langley shrugged. “Only since she met you,” he replied before downing the rest of his water and returning to his room.
Marston snorted. “Glad to know I bring out the best in her.” Marston could swear he heard that brat of a boy laugh from behind his door.
Chapter Eighteen
Rose was awake with the sunrise the next morning. She had tossed and turned the entire night and had barely slept a wink.
She was ashamed at the way she had reacted to hearing of Marston’s betrayal last night. She should have discussed things with him rationally, but she had been so hurt to know that she had trusted him and he had looked at her body without her consent.
So many men had done things to her so many times even though she had begged them not to.
Rose was embarrassed to know that Marston knew what she looked like beneath her clothes. There was nothing beautiful about scars.
The scent of frying bacon reached her nose and Rose felt her stomach growl. Marston must already have breakfast cooking which meant he probably hadn’t slept well either. Rose groaned as she got to her feet.
She had to face him.
Rose changed into her black wool skirt and white long necked and long sleeved blouse. The only visible skin was her face and her hands. She also pulled all her hair up tight on her head so not a single long red curl dangled down her neck. Her lungs were burning by the time she finished and so she took a moment to rest.
Grease popped in the kitchen and Marston mumbled something just before a skillet slammed and Langley’s laughter filled the air. Rose knew she needed to get out there quick before Marston hog tied the boy.
Marston’s gaze instantly fell on her as she stepped from her room. “Good morning, Rose,” he greeted cautiously.
Rose gave him a tight smile. “Good morning, Marston.”
Give My Love to Rose Page 14