by Marta Perry
Several times she’d heard the story of how Nate came to fall through the steps at the shop, and each time it made her shudder. It could so easily have been Susanna. Not, of course, that she wanted Nate or anyone else to be injured, but Susanna—she’d already been injured so badly.
Nate’s broken ankle might well change the situation in regard to the shop. She’d had no opportunity to talk to Susanna about it, but it seemed to her this might push Nate further in the direction of getting rid of the building. If so, what would become of Susanna?
Susanna had asked her to get a message to Lydia, so she’d know what had happened. Chloe could have called Seth and asked him to tell Lydia, but her last couple of conversations with him had been so strained that she hadn’t especially wanted to repeat the experience. If she went to see Lydia, she could deliver the news herself and find out how Jessie was doing after that . . . episode.
Chloe wasn’t sure what else to call it. Jessie’s outburst had been totally unexpected, and the look on Seth’s face when he’d shut Chloe out . . . well, she kept seeing it every time she closed her eyes.
She loved Seth. She didn’t have any doubts about her feelings, but she had plenty of doubts about his. And even if he felt the same, what good would it do?
Chloe’s cell phone chimed, cutting off that futile line of thought. She stole a quick glance. Her grandmother. She’d better take it. Luckily she had almost reached the lane to Lydia and Adam’s place. She pulled in, stopped the car, and grabbed the phone.
“Gran, how are you?” Her grandmother had been calling her more frequently in the past few days. A person might almost think Gran was interested in how her other granddaughters were faring.
“I nearly gave up on calling you. Why did it take you so long to answer?” Gran sounded almost plaintive. That was so opposed to her usual calm assumption of command that it startled Chloe.
“I’m in the car on my way to Lydia’s. I had to pull over first.”
“I see.” There was a momentary pause. “She and the children are well?”
“Just fine.” Chloe tried to keep any hint of triumph out of her voice. That was the first time Gran had taken the initiative in asking about them. “Susanna had a difficult experience today, though.”
“She’s not hurt?” The question came quickly.
“No, but her partner’s son was injured. He and Susanna were checking out the mold situation in the basement of the shop, and the stairs collapsed under him.”
“Susanna shouldn’t have been doing such a thing.” Gran clearly didn’t care what had happened to an unknown-to-her Amish man. “Not with her disability.”
“I suppose so, but the shop is her livelihood. Like a lot of people here, she’s fighting to save it.”
“It seems to me it might be advisable for Susanna simply to buy or rent another place and set up the shop on her own.”
“Probably so.” Chloe smiled as one of the buggy horses came to the fence next to her and put its head over inquiringly. “But Susanna doesn’t have the money to do anything of the kind. I suggested she apply for a business loan, but in the aftermath of the flooding, the banks will probably be overwhelmed with applications.”
Again there was a moment’s silence. Then her grandmother cleared her throat as if she were about to address a group. “I’ve been giving this some consideration. I’ll put up the money she needs for a new shop. You can let me know the specifics.”
Chloe couldn’t catch her breath. This was Gran, who’d spent the last thirty years denying the existence of her grandchildren.
“I’m not saying I want a relationship with either of them,” her grandmother continued. “But I can’t let Diane’s daughter lose everything. Now, that’s taken care of, and I don’t wish to discuss it further. Are you still working with the flood relief?”
Chloe bit back the words of thanks that her grandmother didn’t seem to want. “Yes, I am. Recovery is an enormous job. It’s going to take a long time to get people back to a normal life.”
“I’m gratified that you’re doing what you can to help the less fortunate.” The words were stilted, but her voice had warmed.
Chloe found she was smiling. For Gran, that was the equivalent of saying she was proud of Chloe.
“Thank you, Gran. I miss you.”
“I miss you, as well. I hope you’ll come home soon.” Her voice seemed to tremble slightly on the final words.
Chloe’s throat tightened. “As soon as I can.”
“Goodbye.” Gran ended the call abruptly, perhaps afraid she might show weakness.
Chloe sat motionless, gazing across the pasture to the orchard and beyond it to the Miller place. Seth’s car was parked by the small barn. Seth might not recognize it, but he wasn’t the only person torn by family needing him. Putting the car in gear, she drove on down the lane toward Lydia’s.
The two boys came running pell-mell from the chicken coop when they saw her, and she hoped they weren’t carrying any eggs.
“Daniel, David.” She hugged them, loving the way they wrapped their arms around her. “How was school today?”
“We learned about writing letters today,” Daniel said importantly. “Teacher said people really like to get letters.”
“They certainly do. I know I’d love to get a letter from you.”
Daniel grinned. “But we see you often, so I can tell you things.”
“I want to tell something.” David grabbed her hand, asserting his right to his aunt’s attention.
“Sure thing.” She swung their hands as they walked toward the kitchen door. “What?”
“I . . . um . . . I forget.” His small face fell.
“That’s okay. You can tell me when you remember, right?”
“Right.” His grin was restored.
Lydia, probably hearing the commotion, had come out onto the back porch. “It’s wonderful gut to see you. You’ll stay for supper. There’s plenty.”
“I thought there might be.” Chloe hugged her sister. She’d never yet arrived at an Amish home to discover that there wasn’t enough to feed a crowd.
Lydia pressed her cheek against Chloe’s and then drew back, studying her face. She turned to her sons.
“You two go and finish your chores now. You’ll have time to visit with Aunt Chloe later.”
Without the noisy protest some of her friends’ children would have put up, the two boys nodded and darted off toward the chicken coop again.
“Komm.” Lydia opened the door, her arm around Chloe’s waist. “Something is wrong, ain’t so?”
“Nothing too terrible.” The kitchen was filled with the scent of cinnamon, and several coffee cakes were lined up on the countertop. “Smells good in here. It looks as if you’re preparing for a party.”
“It’s just some cakes to send along to the shelter tomorrow.” Lydia dismissed them with a wave of her hand. “Tell me.”
“Susanna is fine. But she and Nate were going into the cellar at the shop to check on the mold, and the steps collapsed.”
Lydia paled. “Susanna—”
“No, no, she wasn’t hurt. But Nate fell and broke his ankle. She went to the hospital with him, and she called and asked me to share the news with Dora and drive her.”
“Poor Dora.” Lydia’s eyes mirrored empathy. “It’s bad to hear your child is hurt, even when he’s a grown man. And Nate . . . he’s not the kind to make a gut patient, I think.”
“No, that’s for sure. He won’t be able to do anything at the shop for weeks, maybe longer. I didn’t get a chance to talk to Susanna about it, but I’m sure she’s discouraged.”
“She must be. But we can bring folks from here to work on it. Everyone wants to help.”
Chloe had known that would be Lydia’s response. “Maybe it’s best to wait until we know more. Apparently there’s some issue about a mold
inspection before they can do much else.”
Should she mention Gran’s offer? Maybe not before she’d talked to Susanna about it.
Lydia nodded. “Always regulations, I guess. Well, in the meantime, we’re planning a special auction to raise money for the families in Oyersburg, and vans will go every day taking anyone who is free to work.”
It struck Chloe again how selfless people were being when faced with a crisis. “People are so kind.” Her voice choked a little.
“That’s why we’re here, ja? To carry each other’s burdens.” Lydia glanced out the window, and amusement lit her face. “It didn’t take Seth very long to notice your car. He’s coming through the orchard now.”
Chloe’s heart gave a little thump. She had to see him—had to find out for herself what was going on with him.
“I’ll walk out and meet him.” Chloe made an effort to sound natural, which she suspected didn’t fool her sister in the least.
“Take your time,” Lydia said. “Supper won’t be ready for another half hour or so.”
Chloe made an effort to organize her jumbled thoughts as she walked toward the orchard. If she told Seth how she felt . . . but did she really want to do so? It might bring things between them to a head just when he was struggling with his sister’s illness and his own future.
A fallen apple crunched underfoot, releasing its scent. Despite all the apples that had already been picked, the trees still seemed laden with fruit. Even though she knew nothing about orchards, it looked like a bountiful crop. Nature seemed to give with a lavish hand and take away equally.
Seth waited for her by the seat in the center of the orchard, not bothering to pretend he was coming for any reason except to see her. Even in his well-worn jeans and his flannel work shirt, Seth still carried the indefinable air of an urban professional. Was he really prepared to trade everything he’d earned to return to being Plain?
“I didn’t expect to see you today,” he said.
She met his gaze. “Didn’t expect to or didn’t want to?”
“Chloe, you know that’s not true.” He took an impetuous step toward her and stopped short, as if he’d run into something. “It’s just that everything is so complicated right now.”
“How is Jessie?” She couldn’t pretend not to know what troubled him.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Better, I guess. Mamm thinks she’s regaining control more quickly now, but I don’t know. There’s no point in talking about it.” He started to turn away.
She grabbed his arm. “Come on, Seth. Aren’t we past the point of pretending?” She tugged him toward the seat. “Sit down and tell me what happened after Jessie had those hysterics at seeing us together.”
He sat, reluctantly, and she took a seat next to him. She studied his profile, stern and determined in the afternoon sun filtering through the apple trees.
“Come on,” she said again. “If I caused that—”
“You didn’t. I don’t know what did.” He drove his fingers through his hair. “That’s what’s so frustrating. I thought she was getting used to the idea of . . . well, of you and me together. That she liked it, even. And then she exploded with no rhyme or reason.”
“Does that happen often?” She’d known Seth’s sister had emotional problems, but knowing and seeing were two different things.
“Not recently.” Seth blew out a breath, as if trying to ease his tension. “That’s what makes it so frustrating. The doctors say she’s bipolar, but that doesn’t really explain these fits of losing control.”
Chloe groped her way, trying to find something she could hang on to. “I had a friend in college who was bipolar. When she was in the up phase nobody could stop her. She ripped through assignments, accomplishing more in a day than I did in a week. But then she’d be unable to sleep, and eventually she’d crash, sinking like a stone into depression.”
“That’s the pattern her doctor told us to watch for, and the medication does seem to be helping with it. But when she flies off the handle . . .” He lifted his hands in a gesture of helplessness. “Well, you saw. Nobody’s been able to explain that to us. They keep saying it takes time.”
Her heart ached for him. It must be maddening to be faced with something he couldn’t get a grip on. “I guess we start relying on the idea that there’s a pill or a treatment that will cure everything. It’s a shock to find out it doesn’t work that way.”
Seth nodded, but she had the feeling he was listening to her with only half his attention.
“You see how it is. I can’t leave my mother to deal with Jessie’s problems alone. If I have to quit my job . . .” His voice ran out, as if he didn’t really want to verbalize the possibility.
“Can’t you go on the way you are? Working from here, going on business trips when you’re needed?”
“The company wants more.” His smile had a touch of bitterness. “In this business, you’re either out ahead of the curve or you’re out of the race. I have to make a choice.”
“If you talked to your employer—”
“Don’t, Chloe.” He cut her off short, shooting to his feet. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to be rude. I know you’re trying to help, but I have to figure this out for myself.”
What about me, Seth? What about the feelings I have for you? What would you do if I came right out and said I love you?
She couldn’t. Not now. It would be putting another burden on his back. Lydia’s words about carrying one another’s burdens came into her mind.
The trouble was that the other person had to be willing to let you share their burden. And Seth, it seemed, wasn’t.
* * *
Nate
pulled the crutches toward himself, careful not to make any noise. The slightest sound would bring either his mother or Susanna rushing to see what he wanted, and if they caught him, he’d never get over to the store today.
Good, he had the crutches without alarming anyone. He wasn’t sure which one was on duty at the moment, but between them, his mother and Susanna had kept him penned in this chair as if he were a babe in a cradle.
Foolishness. A broken ankle wasn’t a big deal. The doctor wouldn’t have given him crutches if he hadn’t been intended to use them. There was no reason on earth why he couldn’t get himself over to the store.
Just to make sure everything was running properly, mind. He wouldn’t actually try to do anything, not until he could move around a bit more easily. But Mamm didn’t see it that way. She hadn’t even let him count the money last night, snatching the cash box away and saying he’d give himself a headache. He’d had worse lumps on his head playing eck ball than this one.
Getting the crutches properly positioned, he began to lever himself to his feet. But the chair rocked at his slightest movement, throwing him off balance, and he sat back down suddenly.
It seemed he’d underestimated how much he’d needed the help when Susanna had steadied the chair and given him a shoulder to lean on each time he’d gotten up. Well, Susanna wasn’t here, and if she were, she’d figure out some way to stop him.
He couldn’t help smiling. In the trials and upsets of the past week, Susanna had lost all her shyness where he was concerned. She’d revealed a strong, take-charge streak that startled him all the more because it was cloaked in such a soft, caring tone.
He managed to wedge the rocker against the table. Planting the tips of the crutches firmly, he tried again, and felt a wave of triumph when he actually stood upright by himself.
Turning carefully toward the door, he maneuvered the crutches. It had been one thing managing them in the hospital corridor. It was quite another, he found, to make his way around a room that suddenly seemed overly crowded with chairs and lamp tables and a braided rug that wanted to trip him up.
He took another step, then another, pausing after each to be sure he didn’t hear anyone coming. May
be they’d all gone over to the store.
The next couple of steps came with more assurance. He moved a bit more quickly. Almost to the door, and—
The crutch caught on the small table at the end of the sofa. It teetered, the books Mamm had stacked on it toppling to the floor. He tried to grab the table, lost his balance, struggled to get the crutch back under him . . .
“What are you doing?” Susanna’s voice, and it was Susanna who rushed to him, grabbing him before he could fall. She braced her shoulder under his arm, supporting him better than any crutch could.
“What kind of foolishness is this?” She steered him back toward the rocking chair. “You should have called me if you needed something.” She eased him into the chair and moved back a step, focusing on his face, her blue eyes dark with worry.
“I just thought I’d try it myself, that’s all. A man’s got to stretch once in a while.”
Susanna’s eyebrows lifted. “I don’t believe that’s it at all. You were trying to get to the store, weren’t you?”
How was it she could see into his thoughts? “What if I was? I’ve just got a broken ankle. At least I can check on things. I’m not going to try and do any heavy work.”
“And how did you plan to get down the steps? You haven’t even tried steps yet, and you’re not supposed to for another day.”
“There’s no reason why I can’t do it today.”
“And no reason why you should,” she snapped back. “Your mother and sister are both minding the store right now, and they have plenty of help.”
“Mamm shouldn’t tire herself,” he said, seizing on the first good reason he spotted.
“She’s not. We’re all looking out for her.” The scolding look slid from Susanna’s face, replaced by the smile that showed her dimple. “Besides, she’s just as stubborn as you are. How could we keep her from helping?”
He didn’t have an answer for that question, and it annoyed him. “Well, you should have,” he said, knowing it was irrational.
Susanna shook her head slightly, apparently at his foolishness. “I’m going over to relieve her in half an hour. Then I’ll send her back here, and since you’re so good at getting her to do what you want, you can persuade her to take a rest.”