“We eat early tonight, I leave at five thirty.”
Knox’s feet are heavy as he walks away. “Okay,” I call out as he thumps down the stairs.
“I still don’t know why you’re so angry at me for attacking that other poster,” he yells up from the bottom of the stairs.
“I’m not,” I yell on reflex, and the door bangs shut. How could I be? I still can’t believe he’s Ox Man, and that he cared enough to attack Hung like a Donkey for me.
I’m speechless. And still jelly. I flop back on the bed, hoping I’ll be able to walk straight by dinner.
Why do I have to live next to such a great guy when I can never be anything more but a neighbor with benefits?
Knox
Every Monday, I stop working at five, have a quick shower, and heat up the leftovers of the one-pot wonder I make on Sundays for supper. I don’t have much time, the classic car ride starts at six, and it’s a thirty-minute drive.
Today, like every day after school, Piper is in her room doing homework. She likes to get it out of the way so she can watch Law & Order in the evening. She only shows her face after I call her for dinner. Though maybe she’s avoiding helping to get dinner ready.
At one minute to five, the doorbell rings. I expected Piper to get it, but she doesn’t so I make my way to the door and open it. Avery stands on the step, a silky scarf wrapped around her neck, a half smile on her face.
Damn her. I don’t know what I was thinking when I invited Avery for dinner tonight.
“Hey,” she says.
“Come in.” I turn and walk back to the kitchen.
“Where’s Piper?”
“Upstairs, doing her homework.”
Avery stands close to me, too close. She stands on her tiptoes and whispers, “Don’t worry, not even a hint.”
Before she can move away, I grab her tight and breathe her in. My lips brush against hers and her mouth parts.
This isn’t good she shouldn’t be here. This goes against all my rules. The rules I’ve followed for thirteen years.
The problem is, I want her here.
“I need to hurry,” I say, backing away from her before my dick wakes up.
“Of course.”
Avery passes me the plates from the cupboard, and I load them up with my chili. When they’re full, Avery puts them on the table and gets the cutlery while I get the sour cream.
“Supper,” I yell.
Piper thumps out of her bedroom and comes bounding down the stairs.
“Avery!” she says when she enters the kitchen.
“Hey Piper. I thought I’d come hang out with you tonight, keep you company.”
“Cool.”
“I won’t be late, Piper. Home by seven thirty on the dot.” The ride ends at seven, I can leave any new clients to Marcus and get the hell out of there and back to my girl.
“Don’t worry about us,” Avery says. “We can amuse ourselves.”
Taking my eyes off my plate, I glance up at her and our eyes meet. A shudder runs through me, and I quickly fix my eyes back on my food.
“Guess what?” Piper says to Avery. “I’m finished middle school in less than two weeks.”
“That’s exciting. Big plans for the summer?”
“Nope. Only preparing for high school.”
“It’ll be a big change, that’s for sure,” Avery says.
I can’t believe she’s starting high school. How will I react when she starts bringing boys home? Other than to scare the shit out of them.
“Avery, can you come to my eighth grade graduation? It would be so awesome if you could come.”
“I don’t know, what are your dad’s plans?” Avery asks.
I don’t have any, I think. Just turn up and see my baby officially finish grade school.
“I have big plans, it’s so exciting, and I want you to be there for it,” Piper says.
“What plans?” I ask. I don’t know anything about any big plans.
“It’s a surprise. For you too, Dad.”
“I don’t like surprises.”
“Well too bad, it’s my graduation, my surprise.”
There’s no point in arguing with her right now. I shake my head and shovel the rest of the food in my mouth while the two of them talk. Listening to them relaxes me.
“Gotta run,” I say.
Like always, I leave my plate on the table. I’ll clean it up when I get home, after Piper goes to bed. I grab my wallet, phone, and keys, and walk out the door.
After sliding into my Thunderbird, I turn the key and listen to the engine purr. As I drive to the car show, I consider what just happened. I sat and had dinner with Avery and Piper. And afterwards, I left the two of them together and walked out the door to go to work. As if we were a family.
It’s not something I’ve ever wanted. And it’s dangerous. So why did I invite Avery into my house?
As much as I don’t want to admit it, I like hanging out with Avery, even when she’s fully clothed.
The realization pisses me off. I spend the entire time at the event leaning on the side of my car with my arms crossed, angry. The hood is up, people can look if they want, but I’m in no mood to talk to anyone.
Why the fuck did I let Avery get into my head? I broke the rules. No fucking the same chick more than once a month. No fucking anyone Piper knows. No relationships.
I couldn’t keep my cock in my pants, and now everything is fucked up.
“What the fuck is your problem tonight?” Marcus says, on his walk up and down the street.
He calls it mingling. I call it trolling for pussy. At least that’s what I called it when I did it. Marcus has a harder time than I ever did. The blond man-bun doesn’t help, but his real problem is his clothes. The chicks here aren’t interested in suits, they want muscles on display.
“Nothing.”
He leans on the car beside me. “I’ve known you a long time, buddy, this ain’t nothing. You are fucking pissed. Look at you, your face is so hard, you’re scaring people away.”
“Good.”
“Is it that new pussy you were telling me about?”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“Is that a no?”
I exhale sharply. I can’t even figure out what it is. Or if this is about Piper or not. Sure, she’s great, but now I’ve got all these fucking feelings for Avery that I never wanted to have, and I don’t know how I can have both of them.
I swore up and down when Piper was put in my arms that first day that I wouldn’t expose her to a string of relationships. That I wouldn’t be like my mother. I had a different daddy every month. Sometimes every week. None of them lasted. None of them gave a damn about me.
I wasn’t going to repeat that with a string of women. At least not in my house. My pussy and my child would be kept far apart.
But before now, I could never see myself with anything but a string of women. How could any man be happy with just one? As far as I was concerned, all I wanted to do was bend them over my car and have a little fun for the night.
“You going to say anything?” Marcus asks.
“Nope.”
“Whatever is going on, you need to lighten up.”
“Lighten up?” I repeat, my lip snarled.
“Yeah man, you always take life so seriously. Stop denying yourself for once. Loosen up and enjoy things.”
“I have a kid, I can’t.”
Marcus laughs, “Piper’d probably thank you for not being such an uptight bastard. And so would I.”
I grunt, my back muscles tense with the situation.
“I thought you were fucking her today. Did it fall through?”
Against my will, a smile forms on my face.
“You dog. Was she as good as you thought she’d be? Did you get your cock down the bitch’s throat?”
Just as fast, the smile vanishes.
“Shut your fucking mouth,” I snap, unwilling to hear him talk about Avery like that.
“Touchy. So
unds like it’s more than a little fuck to me.”
“I’m going home.”
Without waiting for Marcus to leave, I shut my hood, open my car door, get in and start the engine.
I have a thirty-minute drive to figure out what to say to Avery when I get home.
Avery
“Like I said, one Law & Order is enough. We’re watching something else.”
“But the deal was I help with the dishes and we can watch it,” Piper says, pouting.
After Knox left, we finished our supper at a slower pace, chatting about all sorts of things. But I was too chicken to go anywhere near the subject of her mother. Piper didn’t bring it up, so I left it alone.
When we finished eating, Piper left the room. My mother would’ve killed me if I did that. I hauled her back and told her we were watching the news channel all night unless she helped me clean everything up. And I may have lectured her on helping her father out more.
“We did watch Law & Order, it just finished. Now we’re going to watch something else. How about Community?”
“Fine,” she grumbles. Sometimes I see a lot of Knox in her.
“You can pick the episode,” I say as a peace offering.
Piper takes the remote and scrolls through Hulu until she finds the episode she wants. It’s the first paintball fight, one of my favorites. And apparently one of Knox’s. Figures we’d have the same favorite TV show of all time. And favorite band. I wonder what else there is.
We just watched the paintball episode when I was here on Thursday. That night was easy, too. Being in this house is too comfortable. With both Knox and Piper.
Forget comfortable, who am I kidding? I like being here. I like them. I want to hang out with them both.
But like I’ve been telling myself all day, I have to remember this is about sex.
I don’t know how to make it only about sex when Knox does things like invite me over for dinner and defend me against internet trolls. How? This isn’t fair. And it’s never going to work.
Because the more time I spend with him, naked or not, the more time I want to spend with him.
Why did I get myself into this situation. The more I sit here, rolling it around in my mind, the more upset I become. Tears prick my eyes, and I pretend to laugh so I can wipe them away without Piper noticing.
I’m not cut out for a fuck-buddy arrangement. I can’t keep my feelings separate. It’s never going to be enough for me, and it’s better I end it now, before my feelings get even stronger.
It will hurt far less.
Shutting my door on the most amazing sex ever is going to be difficult and require every ounce of my willpower, but I have no choice. I can’t let my heart get involved any more than it already is, because I know I would be crushed. Knox made it clear, no relationship. And here I am, not even a week later, wanting more from him than just his body.
I have no choice.
Piper put the next Community episode on, the conclusion to the paintball episode. I glance at my watch, it’s almost seven thirty, Knox should be home any minute. I’m not sure I can face him now.
“Wow, I just had this crazy brainstorm of ideas for my book,” I say without looking at Piper. Does she still think I’m writing a book? “I need to get going so I can write them all down before I forget. Your dad will be home in a minute, are you all right if I go now?” I force as much enthusiasm into my voice as possible.
“Of course. I’m almost in high school. Remember?” Piper says.
I don’t know if it’s wrong to leave her, but it’s only for a few minutes. Knox will be home soon. And if I’m here when he gets home, I know there’s no way in hell I’ll be able to hide my feelings. Piper would get a full display, and I can’t do that. It’s too important to him.
“Great, thanks,” I say, and stand to leave.
“Avery?”
“Yeah?”
“How important is it to follow your dreams?”
I turn back to face her, and say, “It’s the most important thing a thirteen-year-old girl can do.”
“Really? So I should do whatever I can to make my dreams come true?”
“Absolutely.”
“Thanks. Good night.”
“See you later,” I say, and leave.
As soon as I shut my door, the rumble of Knox’s car comes down the street. My heart pounding, I go upstairs without turning the lights on.
It’s only seven thirty, so I hide away in my fake bedroom. At my desk, I scroll through all my new comments. There are a few new ones, fans telling me how much they appreciate my advice. One is from someone saying how much they like the unbreakable feather. One is under the annoying your partner video I made about Nathan’s stupid noises.
Hung like a Unicorn: u were more annoying than that, stupid bitch
I stare at the comment. It’s stupid and childish and I don’t feel threatened by it. But it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize Hung like a Donkey has taken the new name Hung like a Unicorn. If he makes any more, I’ll report him again.
I can’t bring myself to do any real work, instead I mess around on social media. Darla is also online and when she notices I’m online, she FaceTimes me.
“Hey, babe. Knox come around today?”
For a second I warm at the memory of this morning, but I quickly recover. I have to steel myself against him. Knowing Darla, she’d tell me to toughen up and embrace the fuck-buddy lifestyle.
“Let’s not talk about him right now,” I say.
“Fine, because guess what? I’ve got gossip for you. Nathan’s fiancée left him.”
“Really? That was quick. Smart cookie.”
“But get this, word on the street is she left because he’s shit in bed. A friend of a friend told me she said, and I quote, ‘How did you live with an internet sex advisor for so many years and not learn a goddamn thing about a woman’s body?’ End quote. Can you believe it?” Darla says, and dissolves into a fit of laughter.
I laugh as well, a great belly laugh that relieves all of the tension I’ve built up over Knox. I’m in tears, and we both laugh and laugh.
Grabbing a Kleenex, I wipe my eyes and blow my nose. “Shut up,” I manage to say.
“And the now ex-fiancée is telling everyone she knows.”
“I can’t say I disagree with her. If she needs someone to back her up, send her to my Facebook page.”
“How were you with him so long?”
“I know, I know. Okay? I’m an idiot.”
“Oh well, it’s in the past. Now you’ve got that sex machine to keep you happy.”
“Yep,” I say, trying to keep the laughter going. I’m not ready to talk to her about Knox.
We spend the next twenty minutes making fun of Nathan before Darla’s boy toy arrives and we end the call.
My mind is clear enough now that I can focus on work, and I throw myself into the endless task of editing, planning and keeping track of finances. I debate taking the unicorn video down, but it’s had over a quarter million shares already and is one of my fastest videos to ever get to that many shares. I’m making a killing on ad revenue in it, so I leave it up.
No matter how stupid I now realize it is. I have to be more disciplined. No more hurried, unplanned videos.
In the morning, I wake up early and sleepwalk to the kitchen for some coffee. The doorbell rings. Tying my housecoat belt around me, I make my way to the door on shaky legs, knowing full well it’s Knox.
I take a deep breath, open the door, and say the words I practiced over and over in my head while lying in bed earlier, “This arrangement isn’t working for me. We have to stop. The…”
Knox’s hands are on my hips, and he backs me into the house as I try to speak. His mouth covers mine, swallowing my words. His kiss is charged, and sends a jolt of electricity through me, grounding me to the floor.
He pulls his lips away, and says, “It’s not working for me either.”
Knox
“What?” Avery asks,
her voice barely audible.
“The whole drive home last night, I was looking forward to seeing you. To find you in my living room, waiting for me. When you weren’t there, I knew I couldn’t ignore this any longer.”
“This?”
“Yes, this,” I say, hating saying what I’m feeling out loud. “Whatever it is that’s between us.”
Avery closes her eyes and swallows. I nudge her deeper into the house and close the front door. She hasn’t said anything yet, nothing that lets me know what she’s thinking.
Maybe I’m making too many assumptions. I drop my arms from her, and walk towards the kitchen.
“Coffee,” I say, it isn’t a question.
Avery still doesn’t say anything as she follows me into her kitchen. Since when was she ever quiet? I don’t like it.
I go through her cupboards and make two cups of coffee. Her kitchen is hideously ugly and out of date. Instead of setting them on the kitchen table, I carry them into her living room and set them on the coffee table.
On autopilot, she follows me back to the living room.
“Sit,” I say, gesturing to the couch.
Avery sits on the leather armchair.
“Why aren’t you saying anything?” I ask.
“I... you surprised me. I had to tell you this morning that I can’t do our arrangement.”
“I already told you I don’t want that either.”
“I’m not sure what you want. A relationship? What about Piper?”
Piper. It’s true, I don’t know what to do about her.
“I really wish you’d sit with me on the couch.”
I let my words hang in the air. With a tense jaw, Avery moves from her chair to the couch, our shoulders grazing.
“You really want a relationship?” she asks, staring at the blank TV screen.
“Yeah, I do. I want you in my bed every morning and at my table every night.”
“Would it be a secret from Piper?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Since Piper was born, I’ve never had a relationship. A girlfriend.”
I let the word girlfriend sink in. I’ve spent my whole adult life avoiding having one. And not once have I ever been tempted to have one. But with Avery, I can’t help myself. I need this woman. In all of my life, not just my bed.
Pierce Me: Satisfied by the Bad Boy Page 47