by J. A. Dennam
He sounded so accusatory. Tears began to pool in her eyes and the black muscle car blurred before her. “It wasn’t like that. After I watched Danny get beat up by someone I brought to her, I... I simply forgot. My period had just ended and I was so messed up over that ordeal I just plain forgot to start taking them again.”
“So, we’re blaming it on emotional trauma.”
Her hands fell to her sides and her teeth set. She spun around, jabbed at the tears with the back of her hand before they could fall. “I’m not blaming it on anything. Not even the fact that you failed to use protection yourself. What happened... happened. I didn’t expect it, but I sure as hell thanked God for it, especially since you were gone.”
“Really, Mel? You sure you weren’t just a little freaked out knowing you’d be raising this little ‘surprise’ alone?”
This conversation was getting worse with each breath. “I was never alone. Danny, Austin, Mac, my granddad... They were there for us in spades. It wouldn’t have been easy without them, but I would have still been grateful for what I have always considered the best thing that ever happened to me. Even better than you.”
And then she saw it. Though he was fully clothed and rigid as steel, Derek was shaking. Was he really that furious with her? Melanie made a sound of disbelief and turned away from his anger, crossed her arms. “I’m sorry I wasn’t honest with you sooner,” she said tightly. “Guess I was worried you’d react this way. But, it’s okay. I get your position and I won’t expect anything from you. Ever.”
After a lengthy silence... “Maybe that’s the way it should be,” he replied woodenly. “As far as I’m concerned, the boy doesn’t ever have to know who I am.”
“He already does know!” she snarled, facing him once again. “He’s been completely raised on your pictures, those damned rock climbing videos, stories of you told every frickin’ night before bed! Did you really think your sister or I would allow him to grow up without knowing you?”
“It’s not like I was there to control that, was I?” Derek began to pace as he growled out each word. “I was in a fucking holding cell while IGP controlled my choices. I left that place... hoping for a chance to take them back! But here I am, in the same goddamned position and I’m beginning to wonder if I’ll ever have control again!”
It didn’t take a genius to see the man was terrified. But hearing him discount his son’s life that way tore something fragile inside her.
Just breathe. The air moved through her flared nostrils as they glared at each other. His eyes weren’t so steady now.
In fact, as she watched, she noticed even more subtle changes in his carefully controlled countenance. His brow was coated in a thin sheen of sweat. Breathing erratic, focus unsteady.
He looked away. “I have to get out of here,” he mumbled. “I can’t do this.”
Melanie blanched as he turned from her. “You can’t do what?”
Instead of answering, he flattened his hands on the back door, leaned heavily against it as if he were struggling with some monumental, internal battle.
“Derek.” Melanie cleared her throat. “We can talk about this some other time. There’s just too much going on...”
His hand curled around the knob and his knuckles whitened. “I can’t do this,” he repeated almost to himself. “I can’t do this...”
It became clearer with each utterance that he was struggling with more than just his newfound paternity. Should she dare hope that his misgivings were a product of withdrawal? She looked at the wet handprint he’d left on the door, walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Why don’t you--”
He jerked from her touch and drew up even tighter. “Don’t!”
Her hand fell to her side. She took a step back. “Are you alright?”
“No. Nothing is right. It’s all... out of place. Unfamiliar.”
“You need to take a breath and calm down.”
“I have to get out of here.”
She grabbed his arm before he could turn the knob. “And where will you go? Back to IGP?” Silence. “Your symptoms are getting worse. Until we can get our hands on another injection, you just need to try and relax.”
Something inside him exploded. He turned to her and bore down with fury. “The next person who comes at me with a needle will take it up the ass.”
It was then she realized the severity of his condition. The anxiety had come on so fast; it caught them equally off guard leaving him with the caged animal look she’d witnessed before.
“Let me go get Rena,” she muttered.
His fingers clamped around her arm as she turned to do just that. “I don’t need Rena,” he hissed, forcing her against the wall, caging her in with his body. “I don’t need you, I don’t need him, and I won’t let you control me, do you understand?”
The full-body contact, complete with his growing erection, sent an electric current through her, awakening every cell.
He was furious, but also fiercely aroused. “Maybe its time you understand what it’s like to have your choices stripped away.” His free hand pushed up inside her shirt. With skilled fingers, he unhooked her bra, roughly palmed a bare breast. His touch felt amazingly good in stark contrast to the fucked up reason for it.
“I’m not trying to control you,” she breathed, “but you can’t let this get worse!”
With a growl, he threaded his fingers through her hair, squeezed his eyes shut tight. Then, his hand fisted and he yanked her toward the Challenger. Her scalp and breast tingled from the assault, but something dangerous began to grow within her. An old carnal need that required more than a gentle touch. A need only Derek could ever fulfill, but one that may compromise her carefully structured lifestyle.
He forced her over the hood. His erection grew even harder against her backside. “Isn’t this where all the magic happened before?”
“It’s not the place, Derek,” she panted, licking parched lips. “Someone could come in and see us.”
“You didn’t mind it when your bare ass was exposed on the side of a highway.” Ignoring her weak-hearted attempts to shake him off, he yanked her pants down. “You loved every second of it.”
“I’m not that person anymore!” she cried, desperately clinging to the responsible parent she’d become.
“Aren’t you?”
He reached between her legs, parted her swollen labia with a finger and ran it right up the cut. The contact completely unhinged her. His finger, liberally coated with her juices, appeared before her eyes.
“Who are you lying to?”
Melanie knew he wasn’t himself. Derek was no longer operating with constraint. Whether his withdrawals had un-caged something dark and violent that could possibly harm her wasn’t her main fear. It was the fact he was in fear of it, too.
The prospect was thrilling and frightening at the same time. Here was a man she knew, trusted, and loved beyond measure... yet it wasn’t quite him.
And, damn it, her body was about to explode.
With a burst of strength, she shoved him backward and gained enough freedom to turn around. The ferocity darkening his eyes was so intense, her resistance incinerated under the heat. Not since he’d disappeared from her life had she felt like this, like swallowing someone whole while he fucked the living hell out of her. And she’d missed it. Missed him. So much.
This time when he came at her, Melanie met him with equal fervor. But when she tried to kiss him, he held her back by the hair. As he glowered inches from her face, he yanked her pants down to her knees and freed himself from the confines of his clothing. They folded over the Challenger’s hood as a unit. Her hands delved beneath the ominous hoodie, felt the hot moisture of his firm skin.
Derek captured her roaming hands, threw them upward and ripped her shirt and bra overhead, carelessly discarding them out of reach.
“Wait!”
To prevent further disrobing, she made a grab for her pants and underwear, but he threw her back down and swiftly r
elieved her of them. Her shoes went flying. She was completely naked beneath him with no chance of covering herself in a hurry. Her eyes darted to the connecting door.
“That’s right,” he rumbled, wedging the head of his erection between her aching lips. “Wide open and at my mercy.” And then he plunged deep inside her.
Her neglected inner walls stretched tightly around his length. He released a fierce growl, captured her shoulders and positioned himself for deeper penetration. He slammed into her once again.
Her eyes rolled back into her head and she gasped at the utter fullness, the almost-pain of his incredible length colliding with her cervix. Suddenly, he stopped, closed his eyes and seemed to relish in the feel of being fully sheathed by her. His pelvis was pressed firmly against hers; resurrecting the complete connection they’d craved from each other in the past.
When he withdrew, she felt almost deflated. She held her breath, waited for the next thrust. It came with so much ferocity the breath was pushed from her lungs. His fingers dug into her flesh and he slammed into her again. And again. Each time was more aggressive than the last. Melanie’s eyes grew wider as passion and pain drove her to the edge of a complete orgasmic meltdown.
As he bore into her, Derek glared beneath lowered brows, his message clearly written in fierce brown eyes.
I. Will. Own. You.
Holy God. He’d owned her from the start, but now he was punishing her, bending her to his will in order to hang on to the last thread of control he still possessed. She drew her knees in tighter and let him. Gave herself completely over to him as he used her body to sate his needs.
The friction was even more incredible, more commanding than she remembered. Her pleasure mounted and, just as the pain from his death-grip on her shoulders reached an unbearable level, her inner muscles drew in from all directions to tighten unmercifully around his member. Her mouth opened and she arched up to ride the cataclysmic orgasm in choked silence.
“That’s it, baby,” he growled through clenched teeth. “Who’s in control now?”
Words failed her as her body remained captive to the lingering climax.
“Say it!” he commanded. His hands left her shoulders, found her nipples and he rolled them tightly between his fingers.
“Ah!” The gasp slipped out of her before she could stop it. “Oh, Derek!” His fingers rolled and tugged. “Please, I can’t take any more!”
“You will. Until I’m through with you, you’ll take it all.”
He lifted her bottom up, set a knee on top of the hood and pistonned into her from a different angle. For the love of God, the ebbing tidal wave of pleasure was building yet again. The torturous rhythm compelled her to scream out a plea for mercy, but his mouth covered hers just in time and he devoured it. The kiss must have sent him over the edge because he straightened, grimaced with the impact of his own climax as she began to come down from her second.
The veins in his body popped as he strained, power flowing through him like rivers of fire. He emptied himself inside her, flooding her with his warmth. She stared at him in wonderment. In his quest for control, he failed to consider his number one fear. Impregnation.
It was testament to how thoroughly he’d lost it.
Derek collapsed on top of her. Her tender breasts flattened beneath his sweat-soaked hoodie, but she held him between her legs as he panted, completely spent. He was still almost fully clothed while she lay beneath him naked and bruised. It was yet another power play that conveyed his dominance over her. Five minutes ago, such exposure was unthinkable. Now, she had no choice but to remain that way until he was good and ready to let her up.
The door behind them softly closed. Melanie’s eyes widened on the ceiling. Someone had indeed walked in on them, if not watched them altogether. Holy. Crap.
Derek had heard it, too. Sapped of energy, he slowly lifted from her and caught her brief expression of horror. “Oh, shit,” he mumbled, his brows coming together.
“Let me up,” she gasped, pushing at his chest. But instead of doing so, he continued to frown at her as his eyes perused her body. “Dammit, at least let me get dressed!”
With a shake of his head, he lifted completely off of her, slowly pulled out. Even spent, he was so long, the sensation of him sliding out of her body sent a parting thrill from her groin to her chest.
“God,” he whispered as he tucked himself away, watching her throw her clothes back on with haste.
When her head broke through the neck of her t-shirt, he was gone and the outside door was flung wide. For a brief moment, she panicked, ran to the door afraid he’d disappeared again. But then she saw him breaking for the tall grass that separated the asphalt from the vast acres of soybean field beyond it. She chased after him, relieved when he lowered himself to his heels and ran fingers through his hair. He squatted in the tall grass for a while, collecting himself.
Melanie circled around him and instantly pushed him back on his butt. He rocked, taken by surprise and she used that time to sit and straddle him between her knees. She gathered him tightly to her, held on.
Without words, his arms slowly came up and wrapped around her. He buried his face in her hair. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I hurt you.”
“I’m okay,” she whispered back. “I don’t want you to worry about it.”
He sighed heavily against her skin. “You’re a hell of a woman, Melanie. You don’t deserve what I just did to you.”
She took his face in her hands. Her gaze bore into his. “How do you feel?”
“Like shit.”
“I mean physically.”
He paused. “Actually, pretty good.”
“Then, if that’s what it takes to keep you from crashing, I’ll be your personal sex slave until this is all over.”
His gaze was steady now. “That’ll certainly help, but my other symptoms will only get worse. If I can’t control it, I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”
Her heart melted at the melancholy in his expression. “I love you, Derek,” she answered softly. “I’m still in shock that I have you back and I don’t want to lose you again, not to IGP. No matter what happens... to me it’s worth it.”
But whether it was worth it to him was still in question.
They were well hidden behind layers of thick grass and he lifted her shirt for a thorough inspection. “I marked you up pretty bad,” he said, running a hand over the angry red blotches above the lining of her bra.
She let him touch, explore. “It’s not the first time we’ve been rough with each other.”
“But, you aren’t that person anymore,” he reminded her with a pained look. “I know you aren’t, I’ve sensed it since I first saw you last night.”
“If you want the truth...” she hesitated, wondering if he’d want to hear it. “I haven’t been with anyone else since you.”
His lips parted, but he was silent as he absorbed her confession. Then, “Is it too much to hope you’re on birth control now?”
Her smile was sad. “I didn’t see the need. My desire was buried as deep as your coffin.” Derek put his forehead to her breastbone and she held him as she talked. “I didn’t realize how much you drove me until you were gone. And afterward it was all about DJ. He keeps me grounded. Responsible. The example I wished I’d had growing up. And if you don’t want him in your life, we’ll part ways when this is over.”
He stiffened in her arms, but she continued to hold him.
“I can’t let you disappoint us, Derek. I’d rather end it before it begins. It’ll be enough for me knowing you still walk this earth.”
Instead of answering, he took in a deep breath, held it for a moment. When he released it, he lifted his head and threaded his hands through her hair. “Then it may be irrelevant. This will only get worse until I can get my hands on that drug.”
“You really think it will kill you?”
“Eventually,” he said without pause. “When I came down from it before, there was no relief. I
t got so bad, Mel...” he swallowed largely. “If they had left me with anything. Clothes, food, water, mobility... I would have found a way to kill myself with it.”
The thought of him alone, bound, naked, suffering for days with nothing to eat or drink while he slowly went out of his mind broke her heart. “Maybe... if you have some sort of release for it it’ll be better this time.”
“I have no way of knowing. I won’t risk your welfare in the process of finding out. If it gets too bad, I’ll go back to IGP with or without that bullet.”
And nothing would stop him. It was easy to see. “You were really freaked out,” she said with a worried frown. “But you were also extremely erect. Is that a part of the enhancement you were talking about?”
It was a slow, pained response. “Yeah.”
“Then as long as you can still fuck it out of your system, I’m not letting you out of my sight. Because it’ll be with me, not Rena.” As an afterthought, “Or Ty.”
Derek hesitated, cracked a smile. “Ty will at least want me to shower first.” Her answering laugh was short, sad. He moved a flyaway wisp of hair from her face. “Did you see who opened the door?”
She shook her head. “No. But I’ll be ten shades of scarlet when we go back in there.”
“I’m so sorry, babe. I was deplorable.”
Somehow she sensed there was a deeper reason for his dominant behavior. Something he wasn’t telling her. “You’re better now. That’s where my focus will be.”
His back straightened and his eyes drifted a little before they closed. “Wait a minute...”
“What?”
“It’s Chewie, he’s growling.” When his eyes opened again, they were steely with determination. “We’ve got company again.”
Chapter 12
Derek heard it before she did and he knew without a doubt they were being stalked.
“Stay down!” he hissed, rolling her onto her back. Why did this have to happen every time he experienced one of his “episodes”? He still wasn’t completely right, that ever present sense of doom still looming just behind the lines. Now that he’d finally been sated in the way he’d craved for years, it certainly helped. He focused on it, drew a deep breath and thought of the cleansing wave of peace that washed through him when he released himself inside Melanie’s heavenly warmth. His mind instantly cleared.