I was crying and heard his zipper come down. I was terrified but couldn’t make a sound, I couldn’t move. I was frozen in fear.
“What the fuck dude, that’s my sister,” Colton’s voice came from behind us. He must have heard a commotion and come through the shared bathroom.
“She was begging for it,” Curtis yelped. I heard a slapping sound, rolled over and sat up, covering myself. Curtis was on the floor with blood streaming from his nose. It looked broken.
“I was not, he tried to force me,” I wailed and pointed at Curtis.
“The little slut was begging for it, I swear,” Curtis said and stood up.
Colton towered over him and pulled his fist back. “Get the fuck out of here and if I catch you so much as looking in her direction, I’ll fucking kill you. Got that?”
Curtis nodded and sniveled his apologies as he backed out of my room.
I was so grateful that my anger from earlier had dissipated. I started to sob and Colton stood in front of me. His face was an unreadable mask.
“What were you thinking, bringing that fucking asshole back with you? Were you so hungry for cock you decided to take whatever you could get?” Colton raged at me.
I was so taken aback that I couldn’t speak; I shrunk in front of him and didn’t say a word.
“Cat got your tongue? I turn my back for a minute and you’re dragging my buddy home with you?” he sneered.
“It wasn’t like that,” I whispered, unable to find my voice, the fire I needed to defend myself.
“Tell it to your new boyfriend,” he said and stomped out of my room.
I sat on the bed and felt another wave of nausea wash over me. I made it to the bathroom and heaved over the toilet.
I started to cry; fat hot tears that rolled soundlessly down my cheeks.
How could he have spent the whole time at the party with Renee and then blame me for needing a ride home?
How could he punch Curtis in the face and not realize I’d almost been raped?
As I sat there, hunched on the cold marble floor next to the toilet, something occurred to me.
The nausea had been going on for a week now, and we’d been back from vacation for about three. My period should have started right after getting back.
I sat back on the floor like the wind had been knocked out of me.
Could I be pregnant? I wasn’t on the pill, and I didn’t know what I’d been thinking, but we’d been having sex unprotected the entire time.
I started to cry again, soundless and heartbroken. How would I be able to have his baby now that he thought I was some shameless slut chasing after Curtis? How could I bring a child into this world with my own brother?
And how could I ever be sure Colton would stick around?
I sobbed and made it to my bed, curled up and vowed to buy a pregnancy test the next morning.
Would I ever be able to tell him if I was pregnant?
I started to sniffle and formulate a plan. There was no way I was going to raise this baby on my own, and there was no way I was going to let him off the hook.
Come hell or high water, I was going to grab the lighting that was Colton’s heart and hang on for dear life.
And pray I survived the ride.
Chapter Eleven
“Will that be everything?” the drug store cashier asked me. I was so zoned out though it didn’t quite register. “Miss? Is this all you’re buying?” she repeated.
I shook my head, focused on the task at hand and said, “Yeah, that’s it.”
She bagged my items, an iced tea, a pack of gum, a pack of pencils and a pregnancy test. I was so embarrassed buying the pregnancy test that I’d loaded up on other items as if I could camouflage it from the clerk. It was silly really, she was probably used to seeing freaked out college kids buying these things, why would I be any different?
I paid for my items and headed home. Along the way I realized it was only different to me, nobody else knew that my stepbrother was the father of the baby.
And that father hadn’t spoken to me in days, not since his friend attacked me and he accused me of trying to sleep with Curtis. I hadn’t tried to speak to him though, after he’d stormed out I figured it was up to him to come to me. Even though I’d resolved to reel him in and make him see how much I loved him, the first move was his.
I set the bag down on my desk and pulled out the pregnancy test. I was rocked by a jolt of longing, a need to have Colton there with me. Somebody to hold my hand and tell me everything was going to be okay, no matter what happened.
I took the test to the bathroom, followed the directions and waited anxiously on my bed, glancing from time to time at the bathroom. I’d heard Colton leaving for his Economics class earlier, so I knew I was safe to do it now.
After a couple minutes that felt like a few hours, I walked back into the bathroom on shaky legs. I took a deep breath and picked up the test.
There were two little pink lines. I grabbed the box and read the directions again just to be sure, but the evidence was there right in front of me.
I was pregnant.
I felt like the earth shifted and I didn’t know if I could keep myself standing. I grabbed at the counter to steady myself and forced my lungs to fill with air before I passed out.
Tears sprang to my eyes and I felt dizzy and like I was going to throw up. The idea of a baby flooded my brain and a thousand things took over at that moment. From how was I going to tell my parents, to how would I ever finish school?
I heard somebody rattle the door handle and I said, “I’m in here!”
“Shit, who’s in your bathroom, Colt?” I heard a girl’s voice ask.
“Just my sister. Give her a couple minutes,” Colton said on the other side of the door.
As if being in my little cocoon of misery wasn’t enough, Colton had a girl in his room? He was supposed to be in class, how could he skip it to bring some girl back here?
I tossed the pregnancy test in the trash and covered it with some toilet paper. I unlocked his side of the bathroom and rushed through to my room. I slammed it shut and pulled my headphones on to block out the sounds coming from his room.
I must have fallen asleep, and when I woke the headphones were off and the place was silent. I looked at my phone; I’d napped for two hours. Luckily I didn’t have anything that afternoon, so nobody missed me while I tried to catch up on sleep.
I slipped on some comfy clothes and headed out to grab something to eat. It was strange, just a few weeks ago and my life was completely separate from Colton’s. Now it felt linked, even though he’d turned his back on me, I felt like I was aware of his presence in the world. He’d become part of my mind, and now part of my body with his baby growing inside of me.
I never felt this alone before, it wasn’t just the baby, but it was the absence of Colton. I hated it; I hated how moody and sad it all made me.
And I hated that it was happening when I just got the best news of my life. I was going to be a mom; I should have somebody here by my side to celebrate it with.
I found my favorite little café and settled in for a soup and salad. I didn’t think I could hold much down just then, but the food took the edge off my nerves.
Walking back I tried to imagine how my life would be with Colton in it permanently, doing things together and sharing our time together.
I decided I definitely needed him, but not just because of the baby. I resolved not to tell him just yet, but I would work harder on making him see me again. Making him love me again.
I got back to my room close to nine and finished up a paper that was due the next day. I went to bed at midnight and tossed and turned, hoping Colton would come in and crawl under the covers with me.
The door between our rooms stayed closed though, and I had no idea how he spent his night.
I just hoped it wasn’t in the arms of another. In spite of his baby, I didn’t think I could handle that.
I finally drifted off pretending he was
sleeping behind me with his hand held protectively on my belly. I would get what I wanted; I knew it then. I was determined and I was in love. He would just have to find that out.
Chapter Twelve
The next day I woke up feeling refreshed and renewed in my decision to fight for Colton’s love. I decided not to take no for an answer from him, I couldn’t afford to take no.
There was a baby involved now, and he would have to be a father. But once again, I decided to win him over with just me, not by tricking him by my pregnancy. I wanted to know his love was genuine.
And today was the first day of the rest of our lives together.
I headed off to an afternoon class and managed to avoid anybody I knew, I wasn’t in the mood to make small talk. I sat through a ninety-minute lecture on the origins of western literature and almost fell asleep.
I normally loved that course, but today I could barely keep my eyes open. I left class in a daze and had to decide between going for something to eat or going back to my room and napping.
My stomach was winning out though, so I decided to make a quick trip to the campus cafeteria on the way home. Kill two birds with one stone.
I picked up a couple sandwiches and some fruit salad. I was craving tuna fish all of a sudden, which was strange; I usually didn’t like it. Must be the start of pregnancy cravings.
I was paying for my stuff when Colton came in with two girls. They were younger than him, my age I thought, and gorgeous and laughing. One was a brunette and one had blonde hair. He had his arm draped casually around the brunette’s shoulder and I felt a hot spike of rage pierce my heart.
I’d never been an overly jealous type, but the stakes had never been this high before. I knew Colton was being an ass mostly because he was running scared, but I was sick of him playing games. If he wanted to play games, I would join him and I would show him that I was better at it than he ever imagined.
I hung back and watched them order drinks and take a table in a secluded section of the cafeteria. I didn’t even really have a plan in mind while I watched; I just knew I had to do something.
After a few minutes of watching him throw on the charm for those two girls, I couldn’t take it any longer. I walked through the crowded room and flopped into the chair next to the blonde. The brunette was seated next to Colton and had her chair turned so she could giggle and blink dramatically at every second thing she said.
The three of them jerked in their seats and stared at me with surprise.
“Lacey,” Colton said, “what are you doing?” He had a cautious look on his face, but I had thrown caution to the wind the moment I headed over here.
“Just seeing what’s up,” I said, “what are you doing?”
“We’re studying,” the brunette said and stuck her hand out, “I’m Meredith.”
“Lacey,” I replied coolly and shook her hand. I turned to the blonde and she smiled and gave me a little wave.
“My name’s Melody,” she said with a shy giggle.
“My M and M girls,” Colton said and looked at me with a defiant expression on his handsome face. His eyes were dark and dangerous, but he looked amazing. My stomach did a little flip flop and I long for him to stand up and drag me back to our place so we could fuck like wild animals.
I blushed at the thought, it must be hormones, but I couldn’t get the image out of my head.
“How cute,” I replied.
The table was quiet for a few moments until Colton said, “Lacey is my sister.”
The girls laughed and the tension was broken, I was suddenly no longer a threat to them. Colton had declawed me before I started shredding them. That was exactly what I’d hoped would happen.
“Brother, dear,” I said to him, “I seem to have forgotten to get a drink. Would you go grab me an orange juice?”
“We’re busy,” he said, locking his gaze on mine. He knew something was up, but he wasn’t able to figure it out.
“Oh come on,” I said, “I’m exhausted, and it’s just an OJ.”
“Don’t be a jerk,” Meredith said and leaned against him. I took all my strength to not reach across the table and slap her away from him. “Help your sister, we’ll be here when you get back.”
He glanced down at her, and glared at me. “Fine,” he said, “anything else while I’m up there?”
“Nope,” I said sweetly, “thanks bro!”
He stalked up to the self-serve area and I put my plan into action.
“It’s so amazing, isn’t it?” I said as I watched him. He was so freaking hot I felt like I was going to combust from here.
“What is?” Meredith asked.
“That he managed to find a girl with the same condition as him,” I said and smiled at her.
“What condition?” Melody asked with wide eyes.
“Oh my god, you don’t know? Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just assumed…I mean you looked so close,” I said with surprise in my voice.
“We just met in class,” Meredith said and leaned towards me, “what’s wrong with him?”
“It’s not a big deal, it’s herpes but one of the worst cases the doctors have ever seen,” I whispered, “but his fiancé has the same type, so they’re perfect together.” I smiled again and they ate it up, why would they ever doubt me, I was just his little sister.
“Oh wow, he looks so healthy though,” Meredith said skeptically. She turned in her seat to look at him. He was in line to pay for my OJ. He saw us looking and waved while shooting me a dark look.
“It’s just his…you know…his junk that’s really affected,” I said, “sometimes it looks normal but other times it’s a real mess. The tragic thing is that he can still pass the virus along even when it looks fine. Our parents were so worried he’d never be able to settle down but he met Jen at the clinic and it was love at first sight.”
“That’s amazing,” Melody said, “everybody deserves to find love.”
“Even the afflicted, “I nodded sagely, “shit, he’s coming back. Don’t tell him that I told you, okay? He would kill me!”
“No, never,” Meredith said and Melody agreed.
“Did you ladies miss me?” Colton said as he sat down.
“Sure,” Meredith said and ducked away from his arm as he tried to put it over her shoulders.
Colton glared at me and handed me the juice bottle. “Here you go sis,” he said, “isn’t there something you should be doing?”
“Yup,” I replied, “I’ve got to go work on a paper. Have fun studying!” I waved as I left and the girls waved back. Colton was watching me leave with a mixture of irritation and something else in his eyes.
I think it was lust, but I couldn’t be sure. If it was, it thrilled me beyond anything, because there was nothing but lust coursing through my body for him right then.
Chapter Thirteen
I couldn’t fall asleep after eating my tuna sandwiches. I tossed and turned and felt odd, like I was almost going to throw up but couldn’t quite get there.
Pregnancy wasn’t exactly a joy ride so far.
I finally gave up on my late nap and paced my room for a bit. I forced myself to sit down and focus on some questions I had for my Biology course. I finished them in an hour, but would have done them in thirty minutes if I hadn’t been jumping up every time I heard something in the hall. I was waiting for Colton to come home, but he wasn’t.
By ten I had finished my paper for English Lit and had given up on spying on him. I decided to go to bed and let sleep ease my mind.
I was so exhausted I fell into a dreamless sleep the moment my head hit the pillow. My body felt like it finally just gave up and let me go.
Some time later I woke up with a start. I sat up and listened, but couldn’t pin point what had woken me.
Finally I heard a small click, the sound of the bathroom door shutting. I reached and flicked my light on, but the room was empty.
Colton must have just been there though; I could smell his scent
…the musky masculine smell mixed with his cologne. I inhaled and smiled. He was slowly coming back to me. I would have him again.
***
The next day was uneventful. I was suffering from nausea again, and could barely keep anything but water down. I was exhausted but managed to do well on a biology test. There wasn’t much left to the semester, I was grateful I’d have the summer off at least.
Which presented another problem. How would I ever hide this pregnancy from my family? My mother would be devastated when she found out; and she would be horrified when she found out who the father was. I had to live in denial at the thought or it would spin me into a spiral of anxiety and depression.
The only way I could survive the summer with my ever-growing belly and my disapproving parents would be to have Colton by my side. I needed him more than ever.
That night I went out with some people from class. We went for dinner and drinks afterwards. I nibbled some salad at dinner and I sipped a Seven-Up and pretended I had vodka. I couldn’t drink, but I also couldn’t alert people to the fact that I wasn’t drinking.
I was having a great time at the pub. I was talking mostly to this girl Sarah and a guy named Greg from Biology. Sarah got up to play pool, and left me alone with Greg. He moved his chair close and we were soon in a heated debated over the merits of Gossip Girl over Pretty Little Liars.
I was laughing at his impression of one scene from Pretty Little Liars when I felt a hand grab my shoulder. I jumped in my seat and looked up.
Colton was behind me with a mask of rage on his face.
“What are you doing here?” he snarled.
“Having a drink, what about you? Looking for your M girls?” I asked in a snotty tone. I turned away from him and looked back at Greg.
Poor Greg had a distressed look on his face and he asked, “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine, this is just my overly protective big brother,” I smiled, “he was just checking in. He will be leaving now.”
“The hell I will,” Colton growled and grabbed a chair from the next table. He slid it next to mine, between Greg and I, and sat down straddling it. “I’m her stepbrother, and I’m here to make sure she doesn’t do anything she’ll regret.”
Having my Stepbrother's Baby Page 4