My Brother’s Keeper

by Malane, Donna

  ‘When was this?’

  ‘As soon as she got here. Years ago now. Before my time,’ she said, batting my question away with a swipe of the hand. ‘She was totally infected with the God bug by the time we roomed together.’

  If this was true, it was unlikely Karen’s conversion had been a cynical pretence to win back her mother’s approval. Vex read my thoughts.

  ‘It was real alright. I should know. I had to put up with the endless bloody praying.’

  ‘Is that how she and Manny met?’

  ‘Yeah. He visits Christian prisoners. He’s been doing that for years. Well,’ she added slyly, ‘since he got out himself.’

  ‘What did he serve time for?’

  Vex leaned back, arms folded over her breasts. ‘Maybe I should be charging you for this.’

  I was about to get up and walk out but she started up again before I had the chance to.

  ‘Not long after we roomed together she wrote to her mother, asking for her forgiveness. Christians are big on the whole forgiveness thing.’ She couldn’t resist a coy look at look. ‘Me, not so much.’ She was baiting me, but I ignored it. It was just as well Vex wasn’t big on forgiveness. I would never forgive her for killing Niki. Not in this life, or any other. ‘So,’ she continued, relishing the power the role of storyteller gave her, ‘her mum came in to see her and they made up. All was forgiven. Mother and daughter reunited. Alleluia. Then the mum up and died and Karen suddenly has all this money. It was news to her that the mother even had any money. They’d had nothing to do with each other for years. Since before Karen killed the kid, I think. But Karen wasn’t into the money, anyway. She was going to give it up. Her and Manny were going off to live in a Christian commune. What a waste.’

  ‘You didn’t try for some of that unwanted money yourself?’

  ‘Sure I did.’ She smiled at me, one corner of her mouth sliding up. ‘I came straight out and asked her for it. Who wouldn’t? She didn’t want it! All I ended up with was a fee for giving her your contact details.’ She laughed out loud at that. ‘There’s a word for that, isn’t there? Irony? Something like that?’

  I ignored the gibe. ‘Did Karen get into fights? While she was in here, I mean.’

  She gave me a deep look before answering. ‘I didn’t tell anyone about her coming into money. It would have put real heat on me and I didn’t need that kind of shit. All sorts of people would be working me to get my hands on it for—’ again she looked across the room and studied the guard for a long time but the guard appeared to be paying her no attention, ‘—for other people,’ she concluded. ‘But there were rumours about the money. And Karen got the occasional rough-up to see what would shake down, but no more than anyone else really.’ She studied my face. She was on full alert. ‘Why?’

  I wasn’t going to tell her about the little bleeds Smithy had found.

  ‘No reason. I just wondered if she’d made any enemies who might have wanted to have her killed.’

  Vex shrugged. If she knew or suspected anyone, she wasn’t going to tell me. ‘Did you find the daughter?’

  I hesitated. Was this a trap? Was it possible Vex was the danger to Sunny? I kept my response on safe ground. ‘Karen never got to meet her.’ Vex waggled her head. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it was a gesture of sympathy. ‘Did Karen ever talk to you about her husband? Justin.’

  ‘What about him?’

  ‘Karen was worried about Sunny. She seemed to think there was some threat to her, but I never got to the bottom of it.’ I waited, thinking she might give me something. Just when I’d given up, she spoke.

  ‘I used to wonder if it was him who drove the car into the river. Not her. The husband, I mean. She just didn’t seem to have it in her.’ My mouth was suddenly dry. ‘But, you know, when drugs are involved, people can do anything. Only idiots take drugs.’ It was a not so subtle reference to Niki. My sister had been an addict and Vex had been her supplier. She gave me another of those long looks. ‘I asked Karen once.’

  ‘What did she say?’

  Vex shrugged. ‘She said it was her. That she did it.’ She looked around the room. Some of the women returned her gaze. ‘You know, in the men’s prison, they all claim they’re innocent. But not here. No one here says that. We all know what we did.’

  No one smiled in response to Vex’s gaze, but the looks they returned to her weren’t threatening either. There was something that passed along the lines of sight between these women; some shared emotion that I couldn’t quite decipher. Vex turned that look directly on me. And that’s when I got it. It was pride. That’s what these women felt; what they communicated with each other. They were proud of what they’d done. ‘Most of us would do it again if we had to,’ Vex said, confirming what I’d sensed. Niki’s silent ghost rose up between us. I swallowed bile. I refused to be baited.

  ‘Did you believe Karen? When she said she did it?’

  Vex looked away from me towards the guard who was now watching her closely. ‘I don’t believe what anyone here tells me.’ It seemed to be aimed at the guard as much as a reference to Karen.

  The air outside felt fresh and cold and clean. Since the prison is right on the shoulder of the motorway, that’s saying something. I sucked it in anyway; petrol fumes, sheep truck effluent and all, relishing the freedom of it. Was it possible, as Vex claimed to believe, that it was Justin who had killed Falcon and attempted to kill Sunny and not Karen? Was that why Karen believed Sunny was in danger? Is that what Karen confronted Justin with in Wellington? Is that why Justin killed her?

  I was already swinging the car around the last roundabout to the airport, picturing Wolf as I’d left him: gnawing contentedly on the bones I’d picked up for him on the way back from the prison while he waited for Robbie to collect him, when I remembered Norma’s phone was still in the bottom of my overnight bag. In fear of wiping Karen’s message, rather than attempt to dismantle the phone I’d ended up throwing the whole thing in with my luggage. It would be cutting it fine, but I figured there was just enough time, if I got lucky with the lights, to drop the phone off to Inspector Fanshaw at the Wellington police station and still be back at the airport in time to catch my flight.

  The uniformed cop behind the desk eyed me suspiciously. It might have been because of my urgency. More likely he was wary of the phone I was handing over, wires and battery pack dangling suspiciously. When I viewed it with the sceptical eye he was trained to look at things with, I had to admit it appeared not dissimilar to a home-made explosive device. He kept his eyes riveted on it as I repeated several times that I wanted him to give the phone to Detective Inspector Aaron Fanshaw and tell him to listen to the message from Karen Mackie that she had left for me on the morning she was killed. He kept asking me to wait right there and refused to even touch the proffered phone. We argued back and forth for a while and things were looking downright ropey until I offered to write my name and address down for him. He visibly relaxed, and handing me a police issue notepad, waited patiently while I wrote on it. It was endearingly naive of him. If this was a bomb I was delivering, it was unlikely to be my real name and number I’d written down.

  With the phone delivered, I broke a couple of speed limits getting to the airport and was soon back in the air, struggling with an Anzac biscuit encased in cellophane that was impossible to open. It all felt a bit déjà vu really. But despite the sensation of my stomach falling out of my anus during the roller-coaster takeoff, and despite the migraine-inducing buffeting as the pilot attempted to level out, it was a relief to be back in the air high above Wellington and winging my way back to Auckland.

  Though I’d managed quite successfully not to consciously think about what had happened between Robbie and me earlier in the day, in truth the memory of his grin slowly unhitching haunted me.

  Chapter 21

  WEDNESDAY 28 NOVEMBER 2012

  One hour later I was charging my way along the air bridge, juggling overnight bag, sunglasses and mobile. There were no ne
w messages from Sunny. I carefully pressed her number but her phone clicked straight to voicemail again. Salena might give me shit for turning up unannounced, but Sunny had asked for my help and I’d flown back to Auckland to give it to her. I had no idea what that help might involve but I owed it to Karen to go find out. I still couldn’t figure out how Justin could have killed Karen, but presumably the cops had a tight enough case for them to have made the crucial move of arresting him. It’s not something they ever do prematurely.

  Sunny sat cross-legged on the sofa. Pale and dishevelled, she was eyeing the woman opposite her with a look of repugnance. As soon as she caught sight of me, she unravelled her long legs and ran to me, throwing her skinny arms around my neck like a distraught two-year-old. Salena put a comforting hand on her back but Sunny shrugged it off and kept her face turned into my collarbone. The woman moved towards me, her hands twitching with the desire to pull Sunny away from me. I gave her a look not dissimilar to the one I’d seen on Sunny’s face.

  ‘And you are?’ she asked, her irritation with my sudden appearance barely suppressed.

  Ignoring her, I pushed the hair from Sunny’s face. ‘Okay?’ I asked. Sunny sniffed loudly and nodded her hair back into the tears and snot.

  ‘She’s a friend of Sunny’s mother,’ Salena explained, not unkindly.

  ‘My name’s Maggie. I’m the assigned social worker,’ she said, and held out her hand for me to take.

  Sunny pulled herself out of my embrace but stayed close. ‘I don’t need a social worker. I don’t even know why you’re here,’ she said over her shoulder.

  ‘As I explained to you,’ the woman said in the slow irritating way some professionals adopt. ‘I’ve been appointed by the courts to check on your wellbeing.’

  She looked directly at me, willing me to leave. I wasn’t going anywhere. I put my hand lightly on Sunny’s back. Her whole bony little frame was trembling.

  ‘In cases like this we need to be confident the children are safe.’ Maggie was addressing me. She was enjoying her role up there at the front of class, telling the poor students how it was going down from now on. ‘Sometimes removing the perpetrator isn’t enough.’

  Salena advanced towards her. ‘Are you crazy? What are you saying? That I was involved?’ Salena’s face was flushed. ‘I knew nothing about it! How could you think I would allow such a disgusting thing!’

  I had no idea what they were talking about. Sunny dropped herself to the sofa. Hands over her ears, she rocked back and forwards. I lowered myself down beside her and placed a gentle hand on her. I felt the fragile shoulder bones beneath my fingers, the warm vibration of her movement. Maggie continued in her irritatingly calm voice.

  ‘It’s my job to assess the home environment and to ensure the children are safe here. I’m just doing my job, Mrs Bachelor.’

  ‘Don’t call me that. I don’t want that name any more.’ Salena wrapped her arms around her stomach as if in pain. ‘I don’t want anything to do with him ever again.’

  Something was most definitely wrong here. A husband murdering his ex-wife is not usually met with such a harsh response from the incumbent. The room had lapsed into silence except for the regular squeak of the leather couch as Sunny continued to rock back and forwards, feet on the sofa, forehead tucked into her knees. Salena and the social worker had stopped yelling at each other and were watching her, but neither seemed able to decide on their next moves. I was pretty sure Sunny was ready to spring if anyone else came near her.

  I risked a question. ‘What was Justin charged with?’

  The women glanced at each other but neither offered a response. It was Salena who finally answered. ‘He’s been charged with obtaining objectionable material.’ Sunny wrapped her arms around her legs but kept her face hidden against her raised knees. ‘But that was just to get him away from …’ she glanced at Sunny but couldn’t say her name. ‘They said there are more serious charges pending.’

  The pained face Sunny turned towards her was devastating. I was struggling to keep up. Porn charges? Justin had been charged with obtaining porn, not for killing Karen?

  Sunny was shaking her head, hair swinging from side to side. ‘I can’t stand to be in this house one minute longer. I’ll just … I’ll just go totally crazy!’

  Maggie moved towards her. ‘That’s the right decision, I think, Sunny. I can take you to stay with some caring people—’

  ‘No!’ Salena glared at the social worker. ‘I won’t have her staying with strangers.’ She turned to Sunny. ‘We can go up to the bach, Sunny. We don’t have to stay here.’

  A ghastly animal moan started from somewhere deep inside Sunny’s birdlike little frame. The sound built and built, louder and louder until she was screaming; a wild high-pitched ululation. She threw back her thin body, arching her spine to an impossible curvature. Feet pounding the floor, she smacked mercilessly at her head. Niki used to do this. I always thought it was something similar to a petit mal, a kind of epileptic seizure. Just as uncontrollable anyway. From experience, I knew it would only make things worse if anyone tried to restrain her. The social worker obviously didn’t know this and strode purposefully towards Sunny, her hands ready. I blocked her. In that frozen moment in which Maggie and I were eyeballing each other, Salena running her hands through her hair, Sunny screaming and pelting herself on the head, Neo entered.

  ‘Sunny?’

  And just like that, Sunny stopped. She ran to her little brother framed in the doorway, the sunlight creating an angel’s halo of his hair. His plump face was pale and frightened. Sunny put her arms around him as if it was he who needed the comfort.

  ‘Sorry, Neo. I’m so sorry.’

  ‘Are you okay?’ he asked, his voice breaking.

  Sunny hurriedly pushed her hair back behind her ears, used her sleeve to wipe the saliva and tears from her face. ‘I’m totally okay. I lost it for a minute, that’s all. I’m okay. I promise.’ This transformation must have taken a huge effort on her part. It was impressive.

  Neo’s chubby little arms folded around her, too, and they stayed like that, a tableau, until the social worker broke the spell.

  ‘I don’t think the children should be together. Not while Sunny is so reactive.’

  Sunny straightened and gave the social worker the cool direct look she had once turned on me. ‘I’m going to stay with Diane,’ she declared. I nodded my agreement, but she didn’t even look my way. Salena hurried to take ownership of Neo. Her hands rested proprietorially on his shoulders.

  ‘I’m happy for Sunny to stay with Diane until things settle.’ She put one hand gently on Sunny’s arm. ‘But only if it’s what you want. Of course you’re going to get upset. That’s completely understandable. If you want to stay here with us, I won’t let this woman stop us. We’re a family — even without Justin — we’re still a family.’

  Sunny was clearly moved, and surprised. So was I.

  ‘I’ll be okay,’ Sunny said. In that moment anyway, everyone believed her.

  Salena offered me her car, saying she’d use Justin’s. I waited in it, heater turned all the way up while Sunny packed a bag. I was struggling to get my head around Justin being arrested for downloading porn, and not for Karen’s murder as I had assumed. Salena said the cops had told her more serious charges were pending. Presumably, that would be the murder charge, but the whole thing seemed odd and I couldn’t figure out what was going on. I still hadn’t got it sorted when Sunny slammed the car door shut and threw her bag over her shoulder onto the back seat.

  ‘Let’s get out of here,’ she said bleakly, staring straight ahead.

  I started the engine. ‘Are you okay staying at your grandmother’s?’

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be? I had nothing against her,’ she said, making no attempt to disguise her bitterness.

  We were halfway along Jervois Road before she spoke again. ‘My friend Jasmine was there when the cops arrested him. It’s all over Facebook. All my friends know.’ She stared out the window
at the rain-soaked streets. ‘I’m never going back to school. They can’t make me. I’d rather kill myself.’

  I was trying to find a way to phrase the question. In the end I just asked it straight out.

  ‘What exactly did the police find, Sunny?’

  She turned her bleak face to me. ‘Me. Disgusting photos of me. Naked and … and everything.’ She turned away again. ‘He took photos of me.’ The lights from the street strobed.

  ‘Shit,’ I said.

  ‘Totally,’ she agreed.

  Chapter 22

  WEDNESDAY 28 NOVEMBER 2012

  Sunny curled up on the sofa with a soft blanket wrapped around her. Like a malingering seven-year-old she picked fastidiously through a container of steamed rice and vegetables. It had been a challenge to find anything of the fast food variety that she was prepared to eat and from the way she expertly weeded out any of the coloured items, it looked like this attempt had failed too. She responded to my critical look with a shrug.

  ‘I only like food that’s white,’ she explained.

  She seemed to want to talk about what had happened, replaying events over again and again with little variation. Details were being etched into her memory and with each retelling they would sink deeper. Trauma does that.

  ‘Jasmine and me were in the kitchen. Neo was eating Coco Pops and Salena was lecturing him about having fruit as well, then Jasmine said there’s a cop down by the swings so Salena went to look out the patio doors. Then there was like, this knock on the front door.’ She mimed a fist knocking, visualising it, even though she couldn’t possibly have seen it. ‘And I went down the hall, and I could see them, see the police uniform, through the stained glass on the sides of the door. The glass made them look, like, all wavery. And I opened the door and there were these two cops asking for Dad. And then Dad came down the stairs …’ She turned her head, seeing the invisible stairs, seeing Justin, ‘and when Dad saw the cops, he froze. His hand was on the stair whatsit — the railing — and he kept saying “What’s happened, what’s happened?” And then he kind of just sunk down on the stairs, with his hand still holding on, like his legs wouldn’t hold him up any more.’ She choked a loud hiccup, her face flushed with the effort to hold back the tears. ‘I think that was because of Falcon. The cops coming to the door like that reminded him of when they came to tell him Falcon was dead.’ She looked down at her hands before adding, ‘And to tell him I was okay, I guess.’