Why stop at 167 offensive words? What about the word “cripple?” Why was that still in the dictionary? It was certainly offensive to disabled people. What about “gyp”? The term, which means “to cheat or swindle someone,” is offensive to Gypsies. Why wasn’t it taken out?
Many players threatened to drop out of the National Scrabble Association or boycott officially sanctioned tournaments if the offending words weren’t put back in. Things came to a head at the 1994 national tournament, when hundreds of players demonstrated against the changes with specially printed T-shirts and signs.
SOOTHING WORDS Executives at Hasbro thought they had diffused a controversy by removing the offending words, but it was now clear that they had created a new one in the process, perhaps even larger than the one they had tried to address. So they blinked. Before the 1994 national tournament ended, it announced that from now on there would be two official word lists: the still-expurgated Official Scrabble Players Dictionary, which would be marketed to the public and would be suitable for families and schools, and an uncensored Official Tournament and Club Word List, which would have the 167 offending words put back in.
To avoid controversy, the Official Tournament and Club Word List (called OWL for short) would not be sold to the public. It would be made available only to National Scrabble Association members, and only upon request. And it was a word list only, with no definitions whatsoever, not even of words that weren’t deemed offensive.
(NOT) AS SEEN ON TV The OWL list has been used in official tournament play in the United States, Canada, Thailand, and Israel ever since. (But nowhere else—and that’s a story for another time.) The only time it isn’t used is when the final round of the National Scrabble Championship is broadcast on TV. Reason: FCC rules prohibit the broadcasting of offensive words on TV. In the early (untelevised) rounds, the offensive terms are allowed, but on the night before the final, the two players are each given a list of excluded words to peruse, and if they have any questions during play about whether a word is permitted or not, they are allowed to consult an official.
Heroin was originally marketed as “a morphine substitute for cough suppressants.”
MAINE MEN
Ever been to Maine? The local accent and the local vernacular can make Maine-speak sound almost like a foreign language. In case you need it, here’s our Maine slang decoder guide.
Buggin’: Lobster fishing.
Finest kind: The absolute best.
Ayuh: Yes.
Crittahs: Animals.
Cunnin’: Cute.
Down cellah: A basement.
Italians: What Mainers call submarine sandwiches.
Yow’un: Kids or teenagers.
Numb: Dumb.
Gawmy: Awkward.
Spleeny: Annoying and wimpy.
Prayer handles: Your knees.
Right out straight: When a Mainer is this, it means they’re very busy.
From away: If you’re not from Maine, you’re “from away.”
Chout: A contraction of “Watch out!”
Dooryard: The area in front of someone’s house.
The County: The northernmost and most rural part of Maine—Aroostook County, where there’s a large French-speaking population (it’s close to Quebec).
Dite: A small amount of something.
I know it: The equivalent of “You can say that again!”
Kife: To steal.
Lozenger: A cough drop.
Put on a corn sweat: To try extremely hard.
Ugly: Angry.
Puckahbrush: Vacant, undeveloped land covered in weeds.
Out in the Willie-Wacks: To be out in the wilderness or the middle of nowhere.
Rugged: Stocky or thick of build (and meant as a compliment).
Stove-up: To wreck or destroy something.
Savage: Anything that’s fantastic or appreciated.
Life expectancy in ancient Rome: 25.
RUSSIA 1.0
Russia’s purported interference in the 2016 United States presidential election has fueled a lot of heated discussion in the press. But reporters use a lot of terms that might be unfamiliar to average folks, so here is Uncle John’s cheat sheet on Russian history and terminology. Now you too can join in the argument.
TSAR (OR CZAR)
What is it? The emperor of Russia before 1917. The term “tsar” is derived from the Latin caesar.
The story: The reign of the tsars began in 1547 when Ivan, the 17-year-old grand prince of Moscow, was crowned tsar of all Russia. “Ivan the Terrible,” as he became known, was infamous for his fits of rage and brutality, even killing his first-born son and heir. Ivan created the first official secret police of Russia—the Oprichniki, who dressed in black and rode black horses, and terrorized all who opposed the tsar. Tsars ruled Imperial Russia for the next 370 years until 1917, when Nicholas II was executed in the Bolshevik Revolution and Russia’s royal dynasties came to a bloody end.
BOLSHEVIK
What is it? The majority wing of the Russian Social Democratic Workers’ Party. Bolshevik is Russian for “one of the majority.”
The story: In 1914, when World War I broke out, Tsar Nicholas II forced millions of Russian farmers and workers to join the army and fight under horrible conditions. The soldiers had no training or food. Many were barefoot and without weapons, and millions were killed. Three years later, in October 1917, the people revolted en masse and the Bolsheviks, led by Vladimir Lenin, seized control of the Russian government.
LENIN
What is it? Vladimir I. Lenin (1870–1924), leader of the Bolshevik Revolution, founder of the Russian Communist Party, and first leader of the Soviet Union.
The story: A lifelong revolutionary, Lenin was guided by his belief in the writings of German philosopher and political theorist Karl Marx, whose Communist Manifesto called for an end to the class system. Lenin led the 1917 Bolshevik Revolution, declaring the need for a government led by the people, with Lenin becoming supreme leader of the newly formed Communist Party. But not everyone was on his side. During his first years, Lenin led the “Red Russians” (the Bolshevik revolutionaries) in a fierce civil war against the “White Russians” (the anti-communists). He ordered his secret police, the Cheka, to kill anyone who spoke out against the government. Lenin instituted a policy called “war communism,” seizing all the food grown by the peasants and doling it out to his Red Army. This policy created a horrific food shortage. By 1922 more than five million Russians had starved to death and 30 million were undernourished. But this cruel policy ultimately helped Lenin win the civil war, and he established the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics (USSR), the first communist country in the world.
Each year, an average of 600 patients catch fire during surgery in the U.S.
Side note: Lenin’s birth name was Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov. He took Lenin from the river Lena in Siberia, where he had been exiled, serving three years in a prison camp for publishing a communist newspaper called The Workers’ Cause.
COMMUNISM
What is it? A political and economic system in which productive resources like mines, factories, and farms are collectively owned by the public or the state. Money is divided equally among citizens according to an individual’s need.
The story: In 1848 Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels published The Communist Manifesto, the most influential book (it was actually a pamphlet) in the history of the socialist movement. The manifesto described a vision of a society without class divisions or government, in which the production and distribution of goods would be based upon the principle “from each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.”
STALIN
What is it? Joseph Stalin (1878–1953), the brutal dictator of the USSR from 1924 to 1953. He is responsible for an estimated 20 million deaths during his rule.
The story: After Lenin’s death, Joseph Stalin became sole leader of the Soviet Union, and began moving the USSR from being an agricultural nation to an industrialized one. He ex
panded the powers of the secret service and encouraged citizens to spy on each other. To show his zero tolerance for resistance, Stalin created a man-made famine in which millions starved to death. Millions more were executed or sent to slave labor camps. After World War II, Stalin began taking over Eastern European countries that he had “saved” from the Nazis, which started the Cold War between the East and the West. In 1949 Stalin detonated an atomic bomb, taking the Soviet Union into the Nuclear Age and sending fear into the hearts of Americans who worried which superpower—Russia or the United States—would push the “red button” first.
Side note: Stalin’s real name was Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili. He chose the surname Stalin because it means “Man of Steel.”
Do you get mosquito bites? That means you’re allergic to mosquito spit. (Nearly everyone is.)
SPUTNIK
What is it? Sputnik was the world’s first man-made satellite. It was a battery-powered metal sphere the size of a beach ball that weighed 184 pounds and emitted radio waves. Sputnik is Russian for “fellow traveler.”
The story: On October 4, 1957, the Soviet Union launched Sputnik I into orbit. Ninety-eight minutes later, Sputnik completed its first orbit of Earth. It continued to orbit for three months, finally burning up in the atmosphere on January 4, 1958. With Sputnik, Russia claimed the first significant victory in the “space race” between the United States and the USSR.
PRAVDA
What is it? The official newspaper of the Communist Party. Pravda means “the truth,” but the newspaper was really just a propaganda machine for the party.
The story: From 1912 to 1991, Pravda’s daily mission was to skew the news to fit the party’s view and encourage readers to toe the party line.
KGB
What is it? The secret police of the Soviet Union from 1954 to 1991. It was the largest spy and state security machine in the world. KGB stands for Komitet Gosudarstvennoy Bezopasnosti, which means “Committee for State Security.”
The story: The KGB’s mission was to serve as the “sword and shield” of the Communist Party—in other words, to protect the regime. The KGB suppressed dissidents and quashed revolts through the use of “active measures”—disinformation, propaganda, surveillance, physical harassment, sexpionage, imprisonment, psychological harassment, psychiatric commitment, exile, and assassination. At its peak, the KGB had infiltrated every major Western intelligence operation and placed agents of influence in almost every major capital.
Side note: During the U.S. civil rights movement in the 1960s, the KGB is believed to have spread pamphlets that claimed black Americans were attacking Jews and looting Jewish-owned shops in New York. The fake pamphlets implored their readers to fight against “black mongrels.”
We’re not done nyet. To learn more about Russian words and phrases, go to page 358.
Fear-o-vision: Your eyesight improves slightly when you’re frightened.
UNCLE JOHN’S
STALL OF FAME
Ordinarily, when a filmmaker says their movie is “in the can,” they mean that it’s finished. But in the case of the Indian film Toilet: A Love Story, “in the can” means something else entirely.
HONOREES: Shree Narayan Singh, director of the 2017 film Toilet: Ek Prem Katha (“Toilet: A Love Story”), and the actors Akshay Kumar and Bhumi Pednekar, who star in it.
CLAIM TO FAME: Making a feature film that calls attention to one of India’s biggest sanitation problems—lack of available toilets.
DETAILS: More than 1.3 billion people live in India, and according to one United Nations estimate, 564 million of them do not have access to a toilet and must relieve themselves out in the open. The problem is especially vexing for women living in rural areas. Because they risk being sexually assaulted while relieving themselves, the custom in many places is for the women of a village to rise before dawn and walk together out into the fields, sometimes traveling more than a mile from their homes, so that they can answer the call of nature together, as a group. Afterward they return home, and wait until the evening before heading out together after dark to relieve themselves gain.
Holding it in all day and all night like this is not healthy. Pregnant women especially are at risk of developing urinary tract infections, and women who don’t have access to a toilet are more likely to give birth to children with low birth weights. In some places there is considerable cultural resistance to putting a toilet inside the home, where there is a kitchen and a prayer room. Relieving yourself in the open air is considered cleaner and healthier than answering nature’s call indoors.
HOORAY FOR BOLLYWOOD: Shree Narayan Singh tackles these issues in Toilet: A Love Story. In the film, which is based on a true story, Akshay Kumar plays Keshav, a man who falls in love with a woman named Jaya, played by Bhumi Pednekar. Jaya was raised in a home with a toilet, but after she marries Keshav and returns to the home that he shares with his parents, she is shocked to discover they do not have a toilet. At 4:00 a.m. she is woken up by the women of the village, who invite her to accompany them out into the countryside to relieve themselves. She goes with them but can’t work up the nerve to do her business in that fashion. Afterward she returns home, and after arguing with her husband, she moves back in with her parents and tells Keshav that she will not return to live with him until he builds her a bathroom.
She is shocked to discover they do not have a toilet.
Both the Mayans and Aztecs used cocoa beans as money.
Keshav’s father objects to building a bathroom in the front courtyard of their house. “How can we build a toilet in the same courtyard where we worship?” he says. When Keshav builds one anyway, his father and his friends start tearing the building down while Keshav is asleep, but he wakes up in time to stop them from destroying it entirely.
SPOILER ALERT: Though Jaya loves her husband, she resigns herself to the fact that he will never be able to build her a toilet, and files for divorce. Not long afterward, Keshav’s mother slips and falls early one morning while on her way out to go relieve herself. Her injury prevents her from joining the other women on their morning ritual, which leaves Keshav’s father with no choice but to assist his wife in using the damaged but still-functioning bathroom in the courtyard. The experience teaches him the value of having a bathroom in their home. He permits Keshav to repair the toilet, Jaya calls off her divorce, and everyone lives happily ever after.
FLUSHED WITH SUCCESS: Toilet: A Love Story wasn’t exactly a darling with the critics. One reviewer wrote that “Akshay Kumar’s film stinks to high heaven.” But Indian filmgoers loved it. It grossed more than $33 million, blockbuster numbers for a Bollywood film. And now that Indian audiences have shown that they are receptive to films that deal with difficult topics, films tackling other sensitive issues, such as menstrual hygiene and erectile dysfunction, are now in the works. (Films dealing with politics are still taboo.)
One reviewer wrote that “Akshay Kumar’s film stinks to high heaven.”
For Akshay Kumar, one of Bollywood’s biggest stars and a celebrity ambassador for the Indian government’s Clean India campaign to build 45 million new public toilets by 2020, the impressive box office receipts are beside the point. “I don’t know how many people will watch the film eventually,” he told the Los Angeles Times in 2017, “but even if five percent helped build toilets, I will feel my film is successful.”
“It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.”
—Judith Martin
Studies show: The later it gets, the weirder your dreams get.
GONE COASTAL
In England, it’s a common tradition for people to name their houses. We do it in the United States too, but usually only with beach homes. Here are some of the funniest ones we found.
Latitude Adjustment
Sol Mate
Once Upon a Tide
At Last
Victoria’s Sea-Cret
The Reel World
Sandy Bottoms
Sea-Esta
Gone Coastal
Looney Dunes
What’s Up Dock
Shore Thing
Waite ’n Sea
Seas the Day
Family Tides
After Dune Delight
Beachy Keen
All Decked Out
Sand Castle
Fantasea
Anchors Away
Gimme A Break
Baydream Believer
Surf ’N Sound
Dock Holiday
Dune Our Thing
Fiddler on the Reef
Bay Hoovs Us
Hip Nautic
Seanior
Decks 2 Sea
Hook Wine & Sinker
Seal La Vie
Shore Fun
Seabatical
Seaclusion
Slo-N-EZ
Beach Nuts
Sea Renity
2 If By Sea
Sunny Daze
Sunnyside Up
Vitamin Sea
Sea Forever
Deja Blue
Feeling Tip-Sea
Hide ’N Sea
Good Times & Tan Lines
A Wave From it All
Wait ’n Sea
Bikini Bottom
Bikinis & Martinis
Just For The Halibut
Porpoise of Life
Shore to Please
Baywatch
Something Fishy
Think before you ink: 1 in 7 people with a tattoo regret the tattoo.
A BAKER TO REMEMBER
One of the most unusual true-life stories to come out of the Titanic disaster is one that barely made it into James Cameron’s 1997 blockbuster film: the fascinating story of the ship’s head baker.
RUDE AWAKENING
When the Titanic struck the iceberg at 11:40 p.m. on the night of April 14, 1912, Charles Joughin, 33, was resting in his bunk in his cabin on E Deck, amidships on the port side (the left side) of the ship. Like most people on board, Joughin had no idea that the Titanic was doomed. It wasn’t until 12:05 a.m., when Captain Edward Smith ordered the lifeboats uncovered and the passengers were instructed to head to the Boat Deck, that Joughin realized something was seriously wrong.
Uncle John's Actual and Factual Bathroom Reader Page 20