by Sara Crest
I was already having flashbacks to when I was sold off to Edgar, the men who bound my legs and wrists together and threw me into the back of a van to be delivered like I was a goddamn package. I felt humiliated, I had come here for help and now even if they did let me go I would have no money. It was my first test for being back in the real world and I already failed spectacularly.
“So what we’re just gonna keep her in the restaurant forever?” the bartender said laughing as he looked at me struggling to free myself on the floor.
“We can do whatever the fuck we want to do with her” the chef said taking a seat. “I can see it on her face, if we let her go she’ll be too embarrassed to tell anyone anything.” He grabbed his crotch and looked right at me “isn’t that right?”
“Fuck you!” I called out, pulling hard on the cord that bound my arms to the stool leaving my wrists chafed and bruised.
I hated to admit it but they were right, I couldn’t go back to Axel after losing all that money in one night, I was far too embarrassed. I had only been on my own for maybe 3 hours and already I showed that I couldn’t survive on my own yet. Some start to a new beginning.
“Why should we even give her a chance to tell someone?” Arnie said as he poured himself another shot and struggled to even bring it to his mouth. “Fucking bitch disrespected all of us by defending those Vulture faggots.”
“What are you suggesting?” the bartender asked.
“I’m suggesting that I get to keep the 5 large, and in exchange I’ll let you both use the girl for a few hours back at my place. My debts to you two get paid, you get some fun with that cutie over there, and I get richer. That’s a fucking win-win to me.”
“Whoa whoa whoa who said she belongs to you?” the chef asked. “I was the one that tied her up, what makes her yours?”
“I don’t belong to anyone!” I cried out as I desperately tried to free myself.
“I lured her in here, I saw her first, I’m the one that knocked her to the ground. I call claims on her.”
The chef looked over to me, eyeing me up and down. He walked over to me and grabbed my face by my chin, trying to get a good look at me.
I cried out and kicked him in his beer gut as hard as I could, causing him to fall to the ground in pain.
“You fucking whore!” he yelled out, getting back on his feet and slapping me hard across the face.
“Hey watch the goods!” Arnie said grabbing him and pulling him away from me.
“You know what Arnie? You got a deal, after that shit she just pulled I’m gonna make her regret it. Besides, I haven’t gotten off in god knows how long, this place fucking works me too hard and I need to relieve some stress.”
“I can get in on that” the bartender said. “What do we do with her after? All of our apartments are too small to just keep her locked up in there and we can’t just let her go after doing it.”
“We drive her out a couple of miles into the desert and leave her there” the Chef said looking at me straight in the eyes. “It’s the middle of summer, she’ll pass out in a day and be dead in two, three tops.”
“So we got a deal then?” Arnie said with a smile.
“Oh you better fucking believe we got a deal” the chef replied.
I heard the front door swing open and immediately the chef got pissed off.
“Jesus Christ Arnie did you not lock the door after you came in here? You know homeless people try to get in so they can eat whatever leftover food we have in the kitchen.”
They blocked my line of sight so I couldn’t see who it was but I did see two pairs of legs standing just in front of the doorway.
“Hey buddy, if you want something to eat you’ll come back when we open in 6 hours like everyone else.”
I heard the unmistakeable racking of a shotgun and the three men in front of me froze and put their arms up.
“There are some familiar clothes and a very familiar duffel bag laying on the street corner outside, would you fellas know anything about where they might have come from?” the man in the doorway said.
“Axel? Axel is that you?” a combination of relief and embarrassment washed over me.
“Hannah where are you?” I heard Axel call out.
“They tied me to a barstool, I’m right behind the one in the chef uniform.”
The chef moved out of the way and I saw Wyatt and Axel standing in the doorway with guns aimed right at my captors. Wyatt was holding a shotgun while Axel held a revolver aimed straight for the bartender.
“You, untie her” he said staring the bartender down.
He grumbled something but came around the bar brandishing a knife, it was a big silver butcher’s knife that looked like it had never even been used.
“Drop it, now” Axel said cocking his revolver.
“That cord is tied tight” the bartender said. “I’m not gonna be able to untie it, I’m gonna have to cut her free.”
“Do anything else and I won’t hesitate to put a bullet in you” Axel replied.
The bartender squatted down and began cutting away at the cord that bound me to the stool, I could feel the warmth of the air coming out of his nose as it hit the back of my neck. He was going to try something I could just feel it, these three were drunk enough to do something that stupid.
I looked into Axel’s eyes from across the room and all I could feel was shame, not even a day into me trying to be on my own and he had to come and save me. Why did he even come after me? He said he would let me walk out of his life if I truly wanted to so why was he here?
I felt the cord release and fall to the ground, I tried quickly to stand up and run to Axel but the bartender got a good handful of my hair and pulled me back. I cried out in pain as I tried to kick him from behind but his grip was too tight on me.
“You’re both gonna walk out of here” the bartender said putting the knife to my throat. “You’re gonna walk out of here and us three are gonna take this girl for a ride in our car, you let us go and we’ll let her walk away a couple blocks down the street.”
“They’re lying! They’re going to use me and take me away and kill me! They said so themselves, you can’t let them do it!” I cried out.
“Buddy you have 10 seconds to let her go and walk away or else I’ll put a bullet in you right here and right now” Axel growled, trying to get a better angle for a shot.
The bartender pressed the knife into my throat, just enough to break the skin but not enough to draw blood. I could feel him shaking as he held onto me, he was in over his head.
“Just let me go” I whispered to him. “You’re not a bad person, I know deep down inside you can’t really be like this. What do you have to gain from all of this?”
“Why the hell should I let you go? Why should I let the Vultures get their way again? My entire life I’ve watched them get what they want in this town and I’m finally starting to see them get a run for their money, maybe I want to be a part of something bigger than myself.”
“By assaulting me?” I asked. “By hurting someone who has never hurt you?”
I felt his breathing become calmer as I watched Axel trying to line up a clean shot, if the bartender was going to make his choice he better do it now.
He stopped pressing the blade of the knife into my throat and dropped it on the ground, he let go of my hair and stepped back.
“Just… just get out of here, take the money and get out of here” he said not even able to lift his head up.
“Fuck that!” Arnie cried out. “I need that fucking 5 grand I got bills to pay!”
Arnie grabbed the bottle of vodka they had on the counter and threw it as hard as he could at Wyatt who was just barely able to duck down in time.
Without missing a beat Axel turned to Arnie and pulled the trigger, planting a bullet right into him, but he didn’t stop after just one shot. I rushed over to Axel as he continued to pump bullet after bullet into Arnie’s chest as the chef and bartender ducked behind whatever they could find for c
over.
“You mother FUCKER” Axel cried out as he pulled the trigger again and again.
“Axel stop please!” I yelled as I finally reached him and knocked the now empty gun from his hand onto the ground, I could feel my heart racing as I wrapped my arms around him and did everything I could to pull him outside. I turned around to see Arnie sitting on the floor leaning against the bar struggling to take the last breaths of his life, it was something I knew I could never forget.
I pulled Axel outside and Wyatt quickly followed after grabbing the money on the bar counter and the gun on the floor. I looked up at Axel I could see the same exact fire he had in his eyes when he saw Donnelly.
His hands were gripped into tight fists, his whole body was tense as he stood there staring at the door to the restaurant. I could hear the chef and bartender panicking inside as they rushed over to Arnie, god knows what was going on in their minds.
“I failed him” Axel said as I felt his body tense even harder. “I should have killed Donnelly and I fucking failed.”
I felt angry and helpless, with everything that was going on I didn’t know what to do.
Wyatt ran over to their car, the same one he had driven when they found Axel in the streets. He opened the door and got into the driver’s side and started it up.
“We gotta go now! Come on!” he called out.
I felt like I had no choice, at least for now, I quickly picked up my clothes from off the side of the road and stuffed them into the duffel bag.
Axel stood there for a few seconds, staring at the door until the unmistakeable sounds of sirens could be heard in the distance.
“Axel we gotta go now!” Wyatt called from the car, finally Axel grabbed my hand and ran across the street to where the car was parked, we both jumped into the back and Wyatt hit the gas.
As we sped down the street I looked back at the restaurant.
I just wanted a ride out of town, I just wanted to start my own life, and now a man was dead.
Was I just not meant to be independent? Was I just that inept and making my own decisions.
I turned away from Axel and stared out the window as a tear rolled down my cheek.
All I could feel was this pain deep down in my gut, a pain that I just wanted to get rid of, how do you make a normal life for yourself when you don’t even know what normal is?
32
(Axel)
Hannah and I stood alone in my apartment, I didn’t even know what to say.
Wyatt dropped us off and took Sharpe and Mason with him, leaving Hannah and I to sort out things between us.
I stared at the $5000 now sitting on my counter, I wasn’t angry that she took it, hell if I had known she was leaving I probably would have given her 10 or even 15 grand to get her going. I just didn’t know that I had let things get so bad that she would leave without a word in the middle of the night.
I looked at her and our eyes met, she looked like she was afraid of me, could you blame her? That anger I felt when I shot that man back in the restaurant, every time I pulled that trigger I was imagining myself shooting Donnelly, every shot I pumped into him reminded me about how I didn’t put a bullet in the man that mattered. Not to say that fucker at the bar didn’t deserve what he got for trying to kill Hannah and injure Wyatt.
“Why did you leave?” I asked bluntly, unable to even look at her.
“I thought you said I could go at any time?” she replied.
“I know. That offer still stands, if you want to take that money on the counter and go right now then I won’t stop you. I only went looking for you because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t find out the reason why you left me. Guess I showed up at the right time, who knows what would have happened.”
“I left you because I was afraid for myself” she replied. “I left because I knew that I wouldn’t be able to fit into your life no matter how hard I tried. As long as Donnelly has a grip on your conscious, as long as your club is fighting another, and as long as those police are coming at you with everything they have I just can’t fit into your life. It’s not just the danger aspect it’s that this stuff is consuming you, and I don’t want to change who you are so I just… I just had to leave.”
“Give me another chance” I said looking deep into her eyes and walking up to her.
“It’s not about chances it’s about the lifestyle… I need to try and give myself a normal life. After two years of being struck in a basement and kept prisoner I owe it to myself to try and fight for a normal life. That doesn’t mean… that doesn’t mean I don’t love you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you for who you are and for everything that you’ve done and for what you want to give me but this is a lifestyle I don’t think I can fit into. What I feel for you is something I’ve never felt before and it hurts that I think it just might not be able to work...”
I took her hands in mine and looked at her, I looked at the contours of her lips and watched as she struggled not to frown. She said she loved me, she actually told me she loved me. I don’t know how many girls have told me that, all those other times their words just rolled off of me like nothing, but when she said it I could feel it deep down. I guess it was something neither of us had too much experience in.
“Let me end this” I said. “Give me a chance to end everything that’s going wrong and I promise you I can give you the stable life you deserve. I can give you a life of security, one where I really can protect you no matter what, even if I can just return this club to what it was before I got thrown in jail everything will be stable. I promise you that.”
“You made a promise to protect me before, and then you made the choice to run off and try to kill Donnelly. I know it was my fault I was in that situation to begin with but what if that happens again and I have no control over the situation? I’ve only just gotten my life back I can’t risk getting it taken away from me.”
“That’s why I’m asking you to just give me a few days to sort everything out.”
I pulled her close to me and after a few seconds she looked up into my eyes, I could tell that she wanted to believe me, she wanted us to work. I wanted to be with her, I knew I messed up but she was the greatest girl to ever walk into my life, and I knew that if the club life returned to what it was just a few years ago that we could be together.
“These days that I’m asking for...” I continued. “It might be tough, you’ll want to quit this life and you’ll want to quit me… but I promise you that if you stick it out with me until the end that it’ll be worth every minute. I want you in my life, and I’d do anything to make it possible.”
“Just promise me one thing” she said looking up at me longingly.
“Anything.”
“Promise me that you won’t let me change who you are, that when all of this is done you’ll still be the same man that I care about here and now, the same man who made me feel the first good emotions I’ve had in years-”
I put my fingers to her mouth, just like I did when I first met her in the bar, it was only a few days ago but god damn it felt like months.
“I’ll be the same man, but with a lot of weight and guilt off of my shoulders.”
She smiled at me, a genuine smile that cut through the sadness that was in her eyes just moments ago. I could tell she was still hesitant, but she said the words I wanted to hear.
“Ok, if you mean everything that you just told me, then I’ll give you another chance.”
33
(Hannah)
His phone rang in the kitchen, he looked at me for a few seconds before walking over and answering it.
His words became muffled as I drowned them out in my own thoughts. Just 8 hours ago I tried to leave this man and now I was giving him another chance. The more I thought about it the more I realized that he deserved that much, when we were together we made each other happy, and for the first time in my life I was starting to think that I really did love someone. If he fulfilled his promise and things were like he
said then maybe we really could be together.
“We have to go, now” he said hanging up the phone.
“Why what happened?” I asked as Axel grabbed his keys and ran his fingers nervously through his hair.
“Shit went down at the garage, come on we really need to leave” he said grabbing my hand and leading me out of the apartment.
“It’s not something new is it?” I asked worried that another layer of madness was just added to our situation.
“I don’t think so” he said as we rushed down the stairs and into the parking lot. “They said something big happened at the garage and it involves Edgar.”
My blood ran cold, did he escape? Oh god what if he was coming after me.
“D-do you know what happened to him?” I stuttered out.
“No idea” Axel said as he got on his bike. “They just said I had to get over there now, since it involves Edgar I figured you should be there to know if something happened to him. For your own safety.”
I looked at his forehead, all the remained of the pipe hit to his head was a slight bruise that I’m sure hurt to the touch. “Are you sure you’re ok to drive?” I asked. “Are you sure you don’t have a concussion?”
“Trust me, I had a concussion before. That pig got me hard but it could have been much worse, I wouldn’t let you ride this thing with me if I didn’t think I could drive.”
He extended his hand out to me and looked at me in the eyes.
“Just one more chance” he whispered to me. “One more chance to fix it all and then we’ll be together.”
I took a deep breath and grabbed his hand, getting onto the back of the motorcycle.
I was rooting for him more than he could possibly know.
34
(Hannah)
I’ll never forget the smell, it was a smell that could stain clothes, one that would haunt me for the rest of my life.
Axel wouldn’t let me walk into the room, but after a few minutes of talking to him I was able to convince him to let me come inside. Even though it could be argued that the smell told the whole story, that all I would need was that stench to confirm what happened to Edgar, I just had to see. I had to see what happened to the man that held me captive, I had to know that he would never look at me with lust in his eyes ever again.