by Unknown
“I’ll go check on the bunkhouse,” Frankie said and left the room. At least one person had understood his intention. Unfortunately, it wasn’t the one he was interested in.
“Did we offend Frankie?” Susannah asked, looking at him curiously.
“Nope. He was just getting out of the way.”
“Out of the way of what?”
“Our going upstairs to my bed.”
He’d shocked her. That much was clear.
“But—but it’s the middle of the day.” Her lower lip was trembling again.
“I know, but it takes real dedication to make a baby. Night and day.” When she looked doubtful, he desperately asked, “Want to call Doc to ask him? I’m sure I’m right about this.”
“Of course not!” she exclaimed, her cheeks reddening. “I just—I didn’t—”
“Hell, sweetheart, if it makes you uncomfortable we can confine our efforts to darkness, but it may take us a little longer.” It hurt that she wasn’t as eager as he was, but that wasn’t going to stop him. He was too hungry for her. Unless she said no.
“No, of course I’m willing—I didn’t know—I mean—” She broke off, as if she couldn’t figure out what to say.
He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, sending the duly recorded list to the floor. Then he scooped her up into his arms and headed for the stairs.
“Lucas, I’m too heavy. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“I’m gonna hurt myself if I don’t get you in my bed, lady,” he assured her as he climbed the stairs. By the time he reached the top, his breathing was heavy. But he wasn’t sure if the exertion caused it, or if her body pressed against his chest was the reason.
After pushing past the door and shutting it behind him, he looked into Susannah’s eyes. To his relief, she smiled at him.
“I wouldn’t want you to be injured,” she assured him softly and held her lips up for his kiss.
Chapter Ten
S usannah prepared for work the next morning, her cautious heart wondering if she could really be happy living with the man she had developed a craving for…but didn’t love, she hurriedly assured herself.
She’d learned a lot yesterday. That sex was as good in sunlight as moonlight with Lucas Boyd. That pillow talk provided an intimacy she’d never experienced, one that brought smiles to the bedroom, another new experience. Even though Lucas’s gentle teasing held nothing significant and didn’t mean he cared about her, it represented a closeness new to her.
And she learned that she was no more frigid than the hottest salsa served south of the border. She didn’t know why, except perhaps that incredible chemistry between them. Or maybe he was a superlative lover. But he could melt her bones with a look. When he touched her, she had no resistance at all.
So, all in all, she descended the stairs that Monday morning with a good feeling about the future. When she entered the kitchen, she headed straight for the coffeepot, needing caffeine to substitute for the lack of sleep their lovemaking had caused.
“Morning,” Frankie called.
“Good morning. I could get used to you having a pot of coffee ready every morning, Frankie. I’m being spoiled.”
“You got to have more than coffee. Sit down and I’ll fix you breakfast.”
“Just a piece of toast, please. I’m running late.”
“Where are you going?”
It wasn’t Frankie who asked that question, but her husband, Lucas, standing just inside the back door.
She raised her eyebrows. “To work, of course.”
“Nonsense. You’re my wife. You don’t need to work,” he asserted firmly as he stepped forward to the coffeepot.
Shaking her head to clear it, she waited until he had his first sip of coffee before she answered. She kept her response mild, not wanting to argue. “Really?”
He must’ve thought that word indicated amazement at his generosity. With a smile, he leaned forward to brush her lips with his. “Of course, sweetheart. I told you I’d provide—” He halted to glance at Frankie. “We’re okay financially.”
Anger rose in her. He thought he could simply dictate her life? Without saying anything to him, she turned to Frankie. “I’ll be back a little after five, Frankie. If you have something to do, I can fix dinner.”
Then she turned to leave, only to be stopped by Lucas’s hand on her arm. “Didn’t you hear me?”
“Of course I did,” she responded, struggling to hold on to her control.
“Then why are you going to work?”
“Because I want to. Because I committed myself to the job before I ever met you. Because a librarian is who I am. Because you’re going to work today, so why shouldn’t I?” She finished by drawing the breath she’d suspended during her rapid-fire response.
“Because you don’t have to,” he countered, his voice more forceful.
With a coldness she wouldn’t have believed possible when she’d shared his bed the night before, she only said, “Excuse me.”
Her effort to move past him failed.
“Damn it! Why won’t you listen to me? We had an agree—” Again he halted and looked at Frankie. “Uh, we’d better go to my office to discuss this.”
“I don’t have time. I’m going to be late as it is.” She tugged at his hold on her but was unable to break loose.
Lucas appeared stunned that she didn’t fall in with his suggestion at once. “You are my wife!” he roared. “You’ll do as I say!”
It was just as well she hadn’t gone into the marriage with rose-colored glasses on, she thought. The honeymoon was definitely over. “I will do as I think best, Lucas Boyd, and nothing you can do will change that. Now, turn loose of my arm.”
“You promised to obey me Saturday!” he reminded her.
“No, I didn’t. The pastor asked me if I objected to that wording just before the ceremony. He left it out. You should’ve listened.” She gave a powerful jerk on her arm and escaped out the door. Wasting no time, she hurried to her car and drove off.
Lucas stood there fuming.
He could’ve caught up with her, of course, but what would he have done with her then? He had no idea. After yesterday, he’d thought the marriage idea had been a brilliant move. Now he wasn’t so sure.
“Boss, you can’t talk to her like that. That women’s magazine said—”
“Frankie, I will not allow your afternoon in the dentist’s office to rule my marriage.”
“I don’t know why not. It lasted almost as long,” Frankie muttered as he sidled out the back door, escaping his boss’s temper.
When Lucas finally returned to the barn after ranting in solitude about the contrariness of a certain woman, he discovered that his difficulties were well-known. His men, apparently thrilled with the changes in him since Susannah came into his life, offered several hints to help him get along with his bride.
“You gotta sweet-talk women.”
“Flowers are a good thing.”
“It don’t hurt none to have a working wife.”
“You oughtta apologize.”
He finally exploded. “Mind your own business! I’ll take care of Susannah. She’s my wife.”
The cowboys slinked away to their various jobs, leaving him alone again, feeling lower to the ground than a pig’s belly.
And the only thing that would make him feel better was for a certain contrary woman to return home that evening.
In spite of their disagreement about her work, something they never discussed again, Susannah found a satisfying routine in her new life. She spent her day doing the work she loved. Then she returned home to her husband. That word never ceased to thrill her.
Each night, after she went upstairs, he would knock on her door and lead her to his bed. There was no discussion, only a desire that enflamed them when they touched.
After their lovemaking, Susannah, in spite of Lucas’s requests for her to stay, returned to her own bed. It was her only protection from complete submission to his powerfu
l presence. But she longed to wrap herself in his strong arms, to snuggle against him, listening to the rise and fall of his breath. Feeling his hands as they roamed her body, feather touches that sent shimmers across her skin.
But she denied herself those pleasures.
She dreaded the arrival of the wrong time of the month for their lovemaking. She was becoming addicted to his touch. In a normal marriage, the husband and wife might still cuddle, whisper in the dark, hold each other as they fell asleep. But Lucas had no interest in those things.
So she waited with dread.
Only her period never came.
When she was a week late, she drove on Saturday all the way into Colorado Springs to an anonymous drugstore to purchase several pregnancy kits.
Lucas protested the trip without knowing the reason for it. He’d made plans to show her around the ranch. While she would have loved the attention, she felt an urgency to discover if she was pregnant.
She waited another week. Then, the next Saturday morning, she took the test. It was positive.
Now she faced a true dilemma. If she told Lucas she was pregnant, he would be thrilled. But he also wouldn’t see a need for them to continue to make love.
While Susannah was thrilled, also, at the idea of a child, her child, she mourned the loss of intimacy with Lucas. Her mood that day, as he gave her the postponed tour of his beloved land, alternated between despondency and exhilaration.
“Are you all right?” Lucas asked her after a couple of hours.
“Yes, of course!” she gasped. “What do you mean?”
“You seemed distracted,” he said pointedly, reaching over to cover her clasped hands. “Are you sure you’re not wearing yourself out with the job?”
It was the first time he’d mentioned her job since their argument. “No. I enjoy my work.”
With a grunt he accelerated, leaving the south pasture behind. “Want to see my prized Black Angus bull? We call him Rocky, but that’s not his registered name.” He rattled off a scientific-sounding name.
“Is he big?”
“He’s huge. But he’s as tame as a baby.” His gaze drifted to her stomach and she sat up straighter. Had he guessed her secret?
It was the first time they’d spent so much time in each other’s company since the Sunday after their wedding. Susannah found herself charmed all over again with Lucas’s gentlemanly behavior, his teasing. He might not love her, but he was kind.
They shared a picnic lunch that Frankie had prepared. Lucas urged her to eat more when she picked at her food. But she was discovering a queasy stomach with her pregnancy.
Before Lucas could wonder at how little she ate, he was distracted by the weather. It was November now, and the clouds had built up suddenly.
“We’d better pack it in and get back to the house.”
“Why?” Had she displeased him?
“I think we’re going to have our first real snowstorm of the winter. We don’t want to get trapped out here.”
He’d been right. The snow closed in on them as they pulled in near the barn. He sent her into the house. That night, when he came in, Frankie had built a fire in the fireplace for them, and she snuggled in his arms before a dying fire, contentment filling her.
“You don’t mind the snow?” he asked, his arm wrapped around her.
“No, I like cold weather.” The man would have to be blind to think she was unhappy, she decided with a smile. In fact, she’d never been happier.
When he led her upstairs to his bed, she was glad she hadn’t shared her news with him. She wanted more days like today, more possibilities to share their inner selves with each other. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, hovered the idea that their marriage might become a true one, filled with exchanges and togetherness.
December. Lucas emerged from his room at his normal time, even though he wouldn’t start work quite as early. The days were growing shorter and the chores lighter with the wintertime.
But hell, why not get up at his regular time? He had no reason to linger under the warm covers. His wife refused to share his bed. Oh, she’d let him make love to her. In fact, she’d met him more than halfway. Her innocent joy in his touch, the sweet moans that slipped out as he loved her, her utter contentment afterward, made his control problematic.
He’d blamed his need for her on the three years he’d remained celibate, but after six weeks of lovemaking almost every day, he had to admit he wanted her. More and more.
He paused as he passed Susannah’s door. Some noise had distracted him. Leaning closer, he thought it sounded like someone throwing up.
Was Susannah sick? He almost bolted through the closed door before a thought struck him. She might be pregnant. Some women experienced morning sickness, he knew, though Beth never had.
Exhilaration filled him. His son. The child he needed. The reason he’d entered a loveless marriage. The reason he and Susannah—his joy came to a screeching halt. If Susannah was pregnant, there would be no need for those nights in his bed. She might refuse to ever let him touch her again.
He turned to stone, his mind frantically dealing with those revelations. He didn’t want to give up the intimacy he’d found with Susannah.
What was the hurry? If she didn’t tell him she was pregnant, he didn’t have to admit it. He could continue making love to her. Maybe she didn’t know, yet. She probably thought she had the flu.
Or maybe she did have the flu. He was no doctor.
Only her lover.
He tiptoed down the stairs, pretending he never heard her physical distress. She’d have to tell him before he’d give up those incredible nights with her in his bed.
Christmas Day. Last Christmas Susannah had been in the throes of decision-making. She’d been living in Denver, alone, after her mother’s death, trying to decide what to do with herself.
Alone. Unhappy.
Then, she’d taken the job in Caliente. And decided to have a child.
She rubbed her still flat stomach. She’d noticed a slight thickening of her waist, a sensitivity to her breasts, that confirmed the pregnancy test. She was going to have to see Dr. Grable soon.
But not before she told her husband.
She’d decided today was the day. His gift, along with a fine leather wallet and some new cologne, would be his child. Today, beside the Christmas tree she’d decorated with her family’s special ornaments, she would tell Lucas that his wish had come true.
Abby and Dr. Grable were joining them for Christmas dinner. Susannah spent the morning in the kitchen helping Frankie prepare the meal.
“Susannah, I can’t thank you enough for that Cuisinart. I’ve been wantin’ one of those things for a long time,” Frankie told her as he operated the new machine.
“But why didn’t you tell Lucas? He would’ve bought you one.” She knew Lucas appreciated Frankie’s work and wouldn’t have hesitated to provide him with anything he requested.
“Aw, I didn’t need it. The boss was feelin’ so bad, it seemed low-down to bother him.”
Susannah was touched by Frankie’s concern. She kissed him on the cheek. “You’re a good man, Frankie.”
“Hey, what’s this? You trying to seduce my wife, Frankie?” Lucas called from the doorway. He laughed when Frankie turned red in the face and jumped away from Susannah.
“Shame on you, Lucas Boyd,” she reprimanded. “I was expressing our appreciation to Frankie.”
He crossed to her side and casually slid an arm around her shoulders. More and more, he touched her freely, making her feel he was more comfortable with her as each day went by.
“Sorry, Frankie. But I figured that expensive machine told him we appreciated him. I hate to see the bills come in after Christmas. You bought every cowboy on the ranch a present. They’re all calling you Santa Claus.”
He was grinning at her, so she didn’t think he really minded her gifts. Besides, there would be no bills. She’d paid for everything herself.
“They work hard�
�� was Susannah’s only comment.
“So do I. Is there something for me under the tree?”
“Aw, boss, you know there is. I caught you looking at the tags on the boxes the other day,” Frankie said.
“Quit giving away my secrets,” Lucas protested. Then he pulled Susannah under the mistletoe hanging over the door and kissed her.
Maybe she was going to get her wish for Christmas, too. She wanted a real marriage, a real husband, because she was discovering she couldn’t do without Lucas Boyd. And she was afraid that feeling was called love.
Dinner had been served and greatly appreciated. The dishes had been cleared and Frankie had gone to join the other men at the bunkhouse. Then presents were opened. Susannah had taken special care in gifts for Abby and Doc.
After all, they’d had a part in the changes in her life.
As she rose to gather the wrapping paper and throw it away, Doc got up to help.
In the kitchen, he asked softly, “You feeling okay?”
Susannah jumped in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve changed a little. I just wondered—”
“I’ll be in for an appointment next week,” she admitted, unwilling to say the actual words before she told Lucas.
“Ah. Good.” He said nothing else, and Susannah knew he wouldn’t reveal anything to Lucas. But she was on needles and pins the rest of the evening. Lucas had to be the first to know.
After Abby and Doc had left, Lucas drew her down on the couch in front of the glowing Christmas tree. With his arm around her, her body pressed to his, he smiled at her.
“I want you to know I appreciate your efforts for Christmas. The whole place is happier. Those idiotic cowboys tell me every day how lucky I am to have you around here. Every last one of them would do anything you asked.”
“They’re sweet.”
“Come on, Susannah, they’re men. No one ever called them sweet before.” He pulled her a little closer.
“I’m glad everyone was pleased. Did you like your presents?”
“Of course. I’ve been needing a new wallet and the—”