by Tim Collins
July XIX
The air is still thick with fart smell. Everyone in town is talking about it. I spotted Pontius and Pullo discussing it with the rest of the local government outside a tavern.
‘The mountain demon has mocked our animal sacrifices by farting all our birds and fish to death,’ said Pullo.
‘Excellent,’ said Pontius. ‘That proves we’re annoying it. We need to make sure we keep it up. Let’s sacrifice an animal every hour until the gods chase the demon away.’
‘That might be a problem,’ said Pullo. ‘The gods don’t seem very interested in saving us, and we’re running out of animals.’
‘Never mind,’ said Pontius. ‘We can simply dip into our emergency funds and buy some animals from our neighbours in Herculaneum.’
Emergency funds? That proves they could pay the extra tax RIGHT NOW if they wanted. Then I could be back in lovely Rome rather than wasting my time in this guffy little backwater.
July XX
I saw Pullo leading a white bull towards the temple this morning. I’d hate to think how much he’d forked out for it. If he keeps wasting the emergency funds on animals, he won’t be able to pay the extra tax even if he wants to.
Everyone was crowding round to look at the poor creature as it walked through the forum.
Pontius was waiting between two of the columns at the top of the steps. ‘Excellent choice,’ he said. ‘That should do the trick.’
A rumble shook the ground and some red roof tiles from the nearby houses smashed at his feet.
‘Quick!’ shouted Pontius. ‘Sacrifice the bull before the demon can mock us further.’
July XXI
I’m convinced these rumbles and horrible smells are a sign the mountain is about to explode. Numerius mentioned ‘deadly gas’ just before ‘burning rocks’ and ‘liquid fire’. That means it’s going to happen SOON.
I tried really hard to get Mum to leave today, but it was no use.
‘That mountain is going to explode,’ I said. ‘We will all perish.’
‘You mustn’t worry, Dorkius,’ said Mum. ‘Pontius and Pullo are doing plenty of animal sacrifices, so I’m sure everything will be fine.’
‘They’re not going to change anything,’ I said. ‘The air trapped in the mountain is going to make it blow up and it doesn’t matter how many white bulls those fools waste money on. I’m going to get out of this dangerous town whether you come with me or not.’
‘Why don’t you have a nice relaxing lie down?’ asked Mum.
‘Because Pompeii is a death trap,’ I said. ‘I could no more have a nice relaxing lie down here than in the middle of an amphitheatre full of angry, starving lions.’
July XXII
I noticed a large man with a red face striding over to Pontius and Pullo in the forum today. Spurius stood up. ‘This is Pompous Fatso, magistrate of Herculaneum.’
Pontius smiled and waved. The large man’s face went even redder. ‘My name is Pomponious Falto. If my nomenclator were as bad as yours, I’d whip him in the forum.’
‘What can we do for you?’ asked Pullo.
‘You can stop buying all the animals from my town and sacrificing them,’ said Pomponious. ‘Everything is grinding to a halt without work animals. The wagon drivers can’t deliver, the farmers can’t plough their land and the bakers can’t make bread.’
‘We didn’t force anyone to sell their animals and we paid a good price,’ said Pontius.
‘Those short-sighted fools can’t resist your money,’ said Pomponious. ‘So I’m telling you to stop or those animals won’t be the only ones in danger.’
There! ANOTHER reason to get out of town. Even if the mountain doesn’t explode, there’ll be a war with Herculaneum.
July XXIII
I spotted that painter outside our house again today. He was drawing a rude picture of some private parts right next to our door.
‘Stop that at once!’ I shouted. ‘Or I’ll tell Pontius and Pullo about it.’
‘Pontius and Pullo?’ he asked. ‘They were the ones who ordered it. I’m painting this picture on every house to protect against the demon. It’s a very powerful good luck symbol, you know.’
I felt my cheeks flushing, so I dashed back inside, so he wouldn’t think the demon was heating up my face again.
July XXIV
When I came home this afternoon I heard a strange oinking noise coming from my room. I rushed inside and saw two pigs lurking in the corner. I asked Mum what was going on and she said Pontius and Pullo had bought too many animals to fit into the temple, so they’re asking people to look after the extras until they’re slaughtered. I hope they hurry up and get through the backlog, or my precious sleep is going to be sacrificed too.
July XXV
Decima’s dad told me she wasn’t in when I went round today, but I spotted her peeping out of her window.
‘Stand with your back to the wall,’ hissed Decima. ‘Don’t make it look like you’re talking to me, in case Dad finds out.’
I leant against the wall and stared down at the street. ‘What’s happened?’
‘Dad’s banished me to my room because I kept telling him we had to leave Pompeii,’ said Decima.
‘My parents are sick of me telling them too,’ I said.
‘We need to get out of here, Dorkius,’ said Decima. ‘If our parents won’t leave, we’ll just have to run away on our own. Come back here after everyone has gone to sleep tonight and we can escape before the mountain explodes. I’ll borrow some of Dad’s supplies so we can set up a camp.’
‘Alright,’ I said. ‘It seems like we’ve got no choice.’
I glanced up the street and saw Pontius and Spurius approaching.
‘This is Doltus Maximus,’ said Spurius. ‘He’s talking to himself because he’s a Roman weirdo.’
‘I know who this fool is,’ said Pontius, glaring at me. ‘He’s been spreading silly lies he got from that nerd Numerius. If it weren’t for his lovely mother, I’d expel him from town.’
I wish he WOULD expel me. Escaping back to Rome is EXACTLY what I want. As punishments go, it would be right up there with a delicious eight-course meal.
July XXVI
It wasn’t hard for me to stay awake with those pigs oinking.
When I was sure everyone was asleep, I sneaked out and made my way to Decima’s house. I considered waking my parents up and making one last effort to convince them to come, but I knew it would be no use. I’ll just have to hope they escape in time if the mountain starts spewing fire.
Decima was waiting in the atrium and she showed me into her dad’s supply room.
We found some brilliant wooden carrying frames that are used by soldiers. I also found two wolf headdresses and I wanted to take them because they looked cool, but Decima said they’d make us too hot.
‘Who’s there?’ shouted Decima’s dad from his bedroom. ‘Is someone in my supply room?’
‘Quick!’ whispered Decima. We ran out of the house and off down the dark street. I could hear Decima’s dad shouting ‘thieving Pompeian dogs’ from inside the house.
As we passed through the forum, Decima pointed to one of the columns opposite the temple. The donkey from the bakery was tied to it.
‘Pontius must be planning to sacrifice it tomorrow,’ said Decima. ‘Let’s take it for our escape.’
‘Good idea!’ I whispered. ‘I’m brilliant at riding horses, so I expect I’ll be great at riding donkeys, too.’
I ran over to the donkey and untied its ropes. I clambered onto its back and helped Decima up.
‘Forward!’ I hissed.
The donkey trundled ahead, but veered to the right. It trotted in a circle, ending up where it had started.
‘Come on!’ I hissed. ‘Straight ahead.’
The donkey circled again.
And again.
‘Not such a brilliant idea after all,’ I said. So we got down and continued on foot.
We ran through the Forum Gate and head
ed inland, trying to get as far away from Vesuvius as we could.
Decima insisted we keep marching all day, even though the wooden frame was digging into my shoulder and I really wanted a break.
We were miles away from Vesuvius by the time Decima found a spot she was happy with. Burning rocks will never reach us here.
We set up a tent using the animal skins and some branches. Then we crawled inside. I tried to entertain Decima by practising my public-speaking skills, but I soon heard her snoring. I knew she’d tire herself out with all that walking.
July XXVII
No sign of any explosions yet.
July XXVIII
Still nothing.
July XXIX
Nope. Nothing.
July XXX
THERE WAS A MASSIVE EXPLOSION TODAY ...
Only joking. NOTHING happened.
July XXXI
Still nothing today. Maybe Numerius WAS mad after all.
August I
Our food supplies are running low and Decima’s feeling guilty about running away and leaving her parents to perish. She wants to go back to Pompeii tomorrow. Maybe we panicked too much about the mountain. Even if Numerius was right, it doesn’t mean it’s going to blow up right now. It could happen in a hundred years’ time.
August II
I can hardly BELIEVE what happened today. I’m still shaking ...
We packed up our tent at first light and set off. The sun was boiling and I struggled to keep up with Decima who strode on ahead. My pack was weighing me down so much I was staggering from side to side.
‘Wait!’ I shouted. ‘Let’s find some shade to rest in.’ But Decima ignored me. Eventually I threw my pack to the ground and collapsed on top of it.
‘Sorry,’ said Decima, rushing back to me. ‘We can take a break now if you like.’
I was too weak to speak. I nodded and closed my eyes.
When I opened my eyes, the sun was low. I realized I must have slept right through until evening. But it didn’t feel like evening. It was still boiling hot.
I squinted at Decima. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was hanging open.
I turned to see what she was looking at. A jet of orange flame was leaping into the sky from the summit of the mountain. Above it, smoke was spreading through the air in the shape of massive mushroom.
That fart smell was back, too, but now it was mixed with a bitter burning aroma that was so strong I could taste it in my mouth.
Swirling grey soot blew into my eyes and stung them. I looked down at my tunic and saw it was covered in splodges of dirt. I wiped one and it left a thick grey stain.
‘Mum’s not going to be happy about that,’ I said. ‘She hates it when I get my tunic dirty.’
‘I think your mum will have bigger things to worry about back in Pompeii,’ said Decima.
‘Oh yeah,’ I said, trying not to think about what might be happening to my parents. Pompeii was much closer to the mountain than we were. Decima looked really worried.
‘As long as we don’t panic, we’ll be fine,’ I reassured her. ‘Ow! What was that?’ Something had whacked into my forehead.
Decima pointed to a small, black rock at my feet. I tried to pick it up, but it was too hot. Another rock whizzed past my ear.
‘I’ve changed my mind. PANIC!’ I shouted, and we grabbed our packs and began to run away from the mountain.
Huge flakes of grey dirt swirled through the air. I looked over my shoulder and saw plumes of thick smoke billowing towards us. More rocks thudded on to the ground.
My heart hammered in my chest and I found myself running faster. Decima was just a few paces ahead, but it was difficult to see her through the blizzard of grey flakes.
‘Watch!’ I shouted.
I untied the saucepan from my pack and put it on my head. A tiny rock bounced off the pan. Decima did the same.
Then something very strange happened. The image of a baby appeared in the thick grey smoke ahead of me. I wondered if the fumes had driven me mad.
The baby turned into a toddler and then a young child ...
I couldn’t believe it. My life was flashing before my eyes ...
... and my brain was choosing all the least heroic bits!
What about the day I saved Caesar in a BRILLIANT sword fight? Or the day I took part in a SPECTACULAR military parade?
I was determind to show my stupid memory I was a hero after all by outrunning the rocks and smoke. So I charged forward at full speed ... that is until I tripped over a rock and fell flat on my face, ramming the handle of the pan into the ground.
By the time I’d managed to unjam the pan handle, the smoke had cleared and the fart smell had faded.
‘I think the wind’s blowing it the other way,’ said Decima. ‘It must be awful back in Pompeii. They’re so close to the mountain.’
I wondered if Pontius and Pullo were still trying to find more animals to sacrifice. They must be getting pretty desperate.
Soon the wind had blown the smoke further away, revealing the top of the mountain.
I gasped and leapt to my feet. Fire was flowing down it in a bright orange river. It was seeping over the plains at amazing speed and heading RIGHT FOR US.
Decima pointed to a steep hill rising from the plain to our right. ‘Let’s head there. If we can get halfway up, we might be alright.’
I darted towards the hill as the heat from the approaching fire seared my skin.
After a couple of minutes, I glanced over my shoulder. I couldn’t see Decima. In fact, the flowing orange fire was so bright I could hardly see anything at all.
I squinted at a crumpled heap a hundred paces back. Decima! She was trying to get to her feet, but kept collapsing.
The fire was almost upon her. My instinct was to keep going up the hill. If I tried to go back and help Decima, we’d both be engulfed by it. We’d never get back home and I would never grow up to be a noble Roman hero.
I was about to keep going when I remembered how Decima had helped me when I’d fallen over on the mountain. How could I abandon her after that? More to the point, how could I ever grow up to be a noble Roman hero if I left my friend to be swamped by liquid fire?
I had to try and help her. Even if we both ended up getting frazzled. I ran to her.
‘Go back!’ shouted Decima. ‘Leave me or we’ll both die.’
‘A noble hero never leaves his friends,’ I shouted. Or at least, I tried to shout it. The heat dried my throat out, and hardly any sound came out.
I put my arm around Decima’s shoulder and hoisted her up. She tried stepping on to her left foot, but yelped with pain.
‘I think I’ve busted that ankle,’ she yelled.
I dragged her and she hopped as fast as she could, but it was no use. We were moving slower than a Pompeian gladiator.
‘Come on!’ I shouted. ‘We can do this.’
We reached the base of the hill. Decima was throwing all her weight into every hop, almost pulling both of us over each time.
The fire was nearly upon us. The reek of the mountain fart was back and it was so strong I felt like fainting. It smelt even worse than when I was trapped underneath the toilets.
We kept on hobbling and hopping up the hill. I steered us around rocks and bushes, knowing that any slip would send us tumbling down into the bubbling fire.
The hill grew steeper and every hop became harder. The fart fumes must have confused my brain because I started to think I was a dormouse being cooked by our chef.
‘Look!’ shouted Decima and pointed. Below us the fire was beginning to flow around the base of the hill and not up it. We’d escaped it.
August III
We’re still on the hillside. The orange liquid has flown away, leaving a trail of fires all along the plain.
What are we going to do now? We can’t go back to Pompeii. It must surely have been destroyed. I can only hope that Mum and Dad escaped.
UPDATE
The sun has risen. I just climbed
to the top of the hill and saw Pompeii to the south-east of the mountain. I thought it would be buried in grey dust, but it actually looks pretty normal. It’s just a tiny spot in the distance, so it’s hard to tell, but I couldn’t see any smoke rising from it.
I told Decima, and she wants to go back immediately. I agreed, but told her to prepare for the worst. We could be about to walk into the world’s biggest tomb.
UPDATE
We’re a few miles away from Pompeii now and it’s getting dark again. I wanted to wait until tomorrow to go back into Pompeii, but Decima is determined to go now in case there are any injured people we can help.
I’m worried we might see some ghosts in there, but I’ve come up with a BRILLIANT way of repelling them. I remembered what the painter said about scaring off evil things, so I scratched a scary Medusa face on to my pan with a stone. If I see any ghosts approaching, I’ll hold it up to my face and make a hissing noise.