by Donna Every
Daniel could feel his body responding to the obvious invitation. He knew that he had to leave now before it was too late. Mandy leaned closer and whispered: “I was hoping to show you how evenly I tanned.” She put her arms around his neck and stood on tiptoe to reach his lips, catching the bottom one briefly between her teeth before soothing it. She pressed her body against his and initiated an intimate kiss. There was no mistaking her intentions. Daniel knew that she wasn’t just being a friendly neighbor. He closed his eyes as he fought for control. He firmly unpeeled Mandy’s hands from around his neck and put her away from him.
“Mandy, this is not a good idea,” he tried to put her off. Far from being discouraged, she used the opportunity to quickly untie the halter neck of her sundress and let it drop to her waist. Daniel’s mind barely registered that she was in fact evenly tanned all over, before she molded herself to him again and continued where she’d left off. This was definitely too much for any red blooded male to resist, especially one who’d been celibate for over four months.
Daniel shifted away from Mandy and lay on his back. He felt sick. It had nothing to do with the brain surgery or with the amount of alcohol he had consumed that day. He was sick with himself, sick about how he had given in to his body’s cravings as if he was an animal acting solely on instinct rather than with self control. He also felt that he had betrayed KT although they hadn’t made any promises to each other.
“I have to go,” he mumbled to Mandy as he got up and dressed hurriedly.
“Already?” she asked sitting up and holding the sheet modestly over her, which Daniel thought was kind of ridiculous considering how they’d spent the last half hour.
“Yes,” he said. “I’ll let myself out.” He got out of there as fast as he could.
He reached his own condo and headed straight to the shower shedding his clothes as he went, as if he couldn’t wait to get them off. He came out minutes later feeling clean on the outside but the sickness inside him was still there. He knew it wasn’t physical. He threw on a robe and went to sit on the patio hoping the sound of the sea would soothe the restlessness in him.
Oh, God! He thought silently. Why did I do that? He’d slept with many women and never felt this shame and regret. He knew it was because of KT. He loved her, yes he acknowledged it, and yet he had somehow tainted that love by sleeping with Mandy. He had let her down, let himself down and maybe even God and for what? A few minutes of pleasure. Another wave of guilt and shame rolled through him. How could he rid himself of this sick feeling?
Start with John. KT’s words popped into his head. Would it help? He’d try anything. He went into his room and found the Bible that KT had given him in the pile of books next to his bed and settled back against the headboard. Flipping through the index he found John and began to read.
In the beginning was the word, and the word was with God and the word was God. That didn’t make much sense to him but at least it kept him distracted and stopped him from thinking. He kept reading until he came to some verses that practically leaped off the page into his conscience.
This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed.
For the first time in his life he clearly saw something he’d done as evil and he definitely didn’t want it exposed. He had slept with someone he had met just two days ago; someone he didn’t even know or really care about and it was just for physical relief. He had taken something that KT considered sacred, that God considered sacred and desecrated it. He had used Mandy, just as he’d used many women before, even though she had literally thrown herself on him. He had a choice, he could have left but he didn’t. Shame ravaged him again.
“Help me,” he whispered to God. “I don’t want to live this way anymore. My way isn’t working and I can’t do this on my own. Help me to do things your way.” When the words left his mouth, they took with them the enormous burden of guilt and shame, leaving him feeling clean and at peace. He didn’t understand it and he knew he didn’t deserve it, but he welcomed it. He began to feel incredibly sleepy. The last thing he remembered before he fell asleep was a voice saying: I’m giving you a new heart.
Chapter 23
Daniel awoke with a feeling of well-being that he had never experienced before. He stretched and looked out of the open window of his bedroom and saw that it was another beautiful day in Barbados. Suddenly, everything came flooding back to him and he knew what he had to do as soon as possible. He had to find Mandy and apologize to her.
This felt like the first day of his life. It was as if he was Neo in The Matrix and had just taken the red pill and woken up in the real world. He smiled as he remembered that night when the cell group had discussed the film and how he didn’t really understand what they were talking about. Now it was becoming clearer. Suddenly his stomach growled which made him get up, head to the bathroom to wash his face and then to the kitchen. He didn’t feel like cooking anything so he ate a banana and then went to get ready for the day. He decided go to Sandy Lane for breakfast.
After a quick shower he hunted around for his Blackberry not sure where he left it. He wondered if KT had responded to his text. He found it on the counter in the kitchen where he’d put it down last night to get the wine. Sure enough there was a message from KT. He felt a pang of guilt as he opened it.
Hi Daniel, bet you’re having a great time. My e-mail address is [email protected]. Looking forward to hearing from you. Miss you already. KT
Daniel cringed. The guilt he had felt last night returned in full force. He wrestled with himself whether or not he should tell KT about Mandy. His philosophy when it came to women had always been “never confess”. But at the same time he didn’t want any lies between him and KT. He didn’t know what to do. He picked up the phone, his wallet and the keys for the condo and headed out to the beach. He would take a brisk walk down the beach to Sandy Lane. That should clear his head.
Daniel strolled lazily back up the beach after the sumptuous breakfast buffet. He was going to have to find a tennis club and arrange some matches while he was here considering the amount of food he was eating. Once his breakfast had settled, he would have a swim.
As he approached the condo he noticed Mandy lying on a lounger in the sun again. While he had used her as a willing source of relief yesterday, today he felt a compassion for her stir in him. She obviously didn’t know her value if she would just throw herself at a man she barely knew. He walked over to her and crouched by her chair.
“Hi Mandy.” She looked up from the book she was reading but didn’t greet him. Daniel could tell that she was hurt by his abrupt departure the night before but she hid her eyes behind designer sunglasses.
“I just wanted to apologize for running out on you last night. I never should have stayed in the first place because I’m seeing someone at home.” He detected a slight softening in her. “And, anyway, I’m sorry that I used you in that way. You’re much too valuable to be treated like that by me or anyone else. I hope you know that.”
He heard a slight sniff and saw a tear running down her face.
“No-one has ever said anything like that to me. Thank you Daniel.”
“Friends?” he asked holding out a hand.
“Friends,” she said with a slight smile, taking it.
“I’ll treat you to dinner tonight and then I’ll see you safely to your door. OK?”
“OK,” said Mandy smiling.
Daniel got to his feet with a smile. That felt good.
Entering the quiet coolness of his condo Daniel felt a sudden desire to read more of John. Taking his Bible out to the patio he propped his feet up and began to read. If his business colleagues could see him now they would never believe it. He was soon engrossed in a story where Jesus was talking to a woman at a well. Jesus had told the woman to go and call her husband and come back. The woman replied that she ha
d no husband. Jesus said to her: “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is you have had five husbands, and the man you have now is not your husband. What you have said is quite true.”
Daniel had a sudden understanding that this was a word of knowledge, as KT had called it. Something that Jesus couldn’t have known unless God revealed it to him. That was the same thing that had happened to him. He remembered that Richard had sent him an e-mail with the recording of the prophetic words he had received but he’d never listened to it. He went and turned on his lap top which he’d brought, waiting impatiently for it to boot up. Thank goodness there was wireless in the building. That’s one of the things he liked about Barbados; it had all the modern conveniences he needed but was still quite quaint and not overly commercial.
He soon scrolled through his e-mails and found the message. He had to follow a link to listen to it online. He was still blown away at how accurate it was. He could even see that some of it was already beginning to happen. God was in fact giving him a new heart as he’d said. He now had compassion for a beautiful young lady who didn’t know her worth. Maybe it was his new heart that stopped him that night with KT because in the past he would just have seduced her without a pang of conscience.
He wondered what God meant when he said that he wanted to use him to do great things for him in the business world. He certainly wanted to do great things and to help his clients. But how? And what did “oneness” mean? He was no closer to understanding that.
He wanted to talk to KT but she would be at work. The question came back to plague him again. Should he tell her or not? Would she forgive him? He desperately wished he could relive yesterday. He couldn’t tell her over the phone, he’d wait until he saw her again.
He found his camera and went onto the patio to take some pictures of the view to e-mail to KT. He’d call her tonight when he was sure she’d be at home.
Daniel almost regretted asking Mandy to dinner only because he had to wait even longer to call KT. He made sure he had an early booking and dropped Mandy at her door at about 10.00 p.m. promising to meet her parents another time. As soon as he reached his own condo Daniel called KT. He could hardly wait to talk to her.
“Hello?” answered a male voice. Daniel didn’t respond for a couple of seconds. His brain was trying to comprehend why some man would be answering KT’s phone at this time of the night when she said that she never had guys in her apartment.
“Hello?” The person said again.
“Sorry, I must have the wrong number,” apologized Daniel.
“This is Kathryn Taylor’s apartment.”
“What?” Daniel’s blood pressure went up. Who was that man and what was he doing in KT’s apartment?
“I’d like to speak to KT,” Daniel demanded.
“May I say who’s calling?”
“No you may not!” he said abruptly.
“Well I’m afraid you can’t speak to her.” Daniel was about to lose it when he heard an exclamation and scuffling on the other end and then KT said breathlessly, “Hello?”
“Who is that man in your apartment?” he demanded. He was surprised at the possessiveness in his voice and the jealously surging through him. As if he had any right to feel that way after his own behavior.
“Hello Daniel, I’m fine, thank you and how are you doing?”
“I’m serious KT. Who is that man?”
“Not that it’s any of your business but that’s my brother Paul. He and his wife are here for dinner. What gives you the right to question me anyway? Judging me by your own standards?” He winced. That was more accurate than she knew!
“I’m sorry KT, you’re right. I had no right to question you like that. When I heard his voice I just lost it. I was being possessive when I really have no claims on you, but I’d like to.”
“What do you mean by that?” KT held her breath waiting for his reply.
“Listen I can’t have this conversation on the phone. Why don’t you and a friend fly in next weekend? You can come Friday after work and fly out Sunday night. Or better yet see if you can get a couple of days of holiday and stay for a week.”
KT was really tempted. She had a week of holiday due to her. She’d see if Des could go with her or else she’d ask one of her friends from cell group.
“I’ll see Daniel.”
“Is that a yes?”
“It’s a maybe.”
“Great! At least it’s not a no. As soon as you know for sure call Margaret and get her to book the flights for you.”
“I can’t do that! She doesn’t work for me, she works for you. And besides, what would she think?” protested KT.
“OK, I’ll deal with Margaret. I can’t wait to see you KT.”
“It’s not definite Daniel. I’ll have to see if I can get the time off.” He heard murmuring in the background and he could just imagine what her brother was saying. Daniel hoped that he wouldn’t try to change KT’s mind.
“I’ll be praying that you can come,” he said.
“Did you say praying?” asked KT in amazement.
“Yes, I said praying. I’ve even been reading John.”
“That’s wonderful Daniel,” said KT quietly.
“I miss you KT,” Daniel confessed.
“Ditto,” she said and he smiled, knowing that her big brother was still within earshot.
“Drop me an e-mail as soon as you know something.”
“I will. Bye Daniel.” She caught herself about to say “Love you”. She realized that she did love Daniel but she wasn’t sure how serious he was about her. KT hung up the phone with a big smile on her face.
“What’s that smile about?” demanded Paul.
“He misses me,” said KT dreamily.
“Please KT, he probably says that to all the girls.”
“Thanks Paul,” she said drily. “He wants me to fly out to Barbados for a week.”
“That’s out of the question! Have you lost it KT?”
“Paul you can’t tell me what to do. And no I haven’t lost it. I’ll take a friend if I go.”
“I think Michaela and I better come with you and make sure you don’t get into any trouble.”
“You and Michaela would come to Barbados with me?” KT asked excitedly. “That would be wonderful. I’m sure Daniel would put you up. Although I think he only has two bedrooms. You guys could have one and I’ll share Daniel’s.”
Paul was about to burst a blood vessel when he realized that KT was teasing him and started to smile.
“I’ll see if I can arrange to be out of the office for a week and I’ll let you know.”
“I need to find out how soon I can take my week off as well.” KT started to feel really excited at the thought of going to Barbados and seeing Daniel. She wondered what he meant when he said that he’d like to have claims on her.
Chapter 24
Daniel waited impatiently outside the arrival lounge at Grantley Adams International Airport as the doors slid open and some tourists walked out. He still couldn’t believe that KT was actually somewhere on the other side of those doors. When she’d called him last Friday to say that she could get a week off he was amazed at how excited he felt. He couldn’t recall looking forward to anything so much in a long time. Even the thought of Paul coming didn’t deter him. He was even prepared to give up his room and sleep on the couch so that Paul and his wife could have the guest room and KT could have his. He liked the idea of KT sleeping in his bed, even if he wasn’t in it with her. He may be getting to know God for the first time in his life but that didn’t mean he didn’t still desire KT. It did mean though that he would try to do things God’s way which meant not trying to sleep with her before they were married and he was now certain that he wanted to marry KT. He just wasn’t sure if she’d feel the same way once he told her about Mandy but he had to tell her.
He saw the doors slide back again and this time KT walked through them looking around a bit uncertainly. She was absolutely stunning in
jeans, short black boots and a black jacket with a long coat slung over her arm and pulling a flowered suitcase. Just behind her was a tall guy with her coloring and short curly hair who was obviously her brother Paul. His wife Michaela, a beautiful Latin woman, was next to him and reached only to his shoulder.
Daniel waved and KT caught sight of him. The smile that lit up her face made him even more certain of his decision. His heart started to race like a schoolboy’s as he made his way towards her and held out his arms. KT walked into them as if she belonged there and in fact it felt like a homecoming for both of them. No words were necessary. Daniel hugged her tightly and buried his face in her hair. Vanilla. How he had missed that! He just kept holding her as strong emotions passed through him. He really didn’t care what Paul thought at this moment. He felt that he never wanted to let KT go again.
He heard someone clearing their throat and reluctantly released KT from his arms but kept one of her hands.
“Hi KT,” he finally said drinking her in with his eyes. His hug had already said everything he needed to say.
“Hi Daniel,” KT said softly obviously moved by his greeting. “This is my brother Paul and his wife Michaela.”
Daniel shook hands with Paul and gave Michaela a brief kiss on the cheek.
“Welcome to Barbados. I’ve hired an SUV now that you’re here. Let me take you to the car park and then I’ll go and pay the parking fee.”
“Thanks for having us Daniel,” Paul said. He would really have preferred to stay at a hotel rather than accepting Daniel’s offer but he certainly didn’t want KT staying at Daniel’s apartment alone. She may be 25 years old but she was still his baby sister and he really didn’t trust Daniel Tennant. KT believed he had changed, but Paul needed to see it to believe it for himself. He grudgingly admitted that he seemed genuinely pleased to see KT and hadn’t even released her hand yet even as he took her suitcase and wheeled it to the Range Rover that he’d hired. It would be interesting to see what the week turned out to be.