by Lyn Gala
The best description of Temar’s face was amused, and Shan didn’t have any idea how to take that. Leaning closer, Temar whispered, “You believed me when I told you something impossible, chased my hallucination across a desert, rescued me from a madman, rode into a fight with me as your only backup, left the priesthood to find out if we could make it together, and came with me into space. Do you think I’d forget all that to assume you’d sleep with a woman you just met?” Temar’s eyebrows arched up, one higher than the other. “Do you really think that some very odd behavior on your part is going to make me doubt that you kind of adore me?” Temar’s amusement grew as he shook his head. “You’re odd.”
“Obviously, I can be,” Shan said weakly. He’d tortured himself with the fear that Temar might not understand why Shan had acted so strangely, and it turned out that Temar wasn’t worried at all. Shan’s fear vanished like a dust devil settling back to the ground when the wind that carried it failed. He also felt like an idiot, an idiot who didn’t have a headache.
Temar stretched and feigned an interest in a bright red flower. “What is going on?”
Shan dropped his voice, leaning in until he could whisper in Temar’s ear, and even then he could feel paranoia wrap around his spine. “Natalie slipped me a note. These people are not fond of same-sex couples. It’s called Paulism… the worship of the teacher Paul instead of Christ,” Shan whispered. “And there have been some very violent and bloody periods of time associated with Paulists.”
Temar glanced toward him before shifting his gaze to the “guide” who watched from the walkway. The guide felt a whole lot more like a guard than anything else, but Shan wasn’t sure what to do about it. They couldn’t exactly jump on a sand bike and go home, but if these people had any idea that Livre considered homosexuality normal, they were not going to be amused.
“Violent?” Temar turned a subtle shade of white.
Shan nodded, his mind supplying historical images that turned his stomach, but Temar didn’t need the details. “Very violent, and Natalie keeps dropping hints about violence and crime and the need for guards.”
“Shit.” Temar sat down and rubbed a hand over his face. He pulled his hand back to look at it in confusion, and Shan realized that he’d been surprised to find himself wet. Shan sat down next to him, close enough to press their thighs together. He’d make whatever excuses he had to later—right now, his lover needed him.
“And they want us as allies,” Shan pointed out. That was ironic. That also would not end well.
Standing up, Temar stepped away from Shan. “Shan, can you imagine people at home seeing this or these people seeing what life is like back on Livre?” Temar asked, shouting over the waterfall. He kept his face toward the guard. The moment he did that, Shan realized that whispering behind a plant probably wasn’t the most subtle thing to do.
“They’d have heart attacks and then bomb someone,” Shan muttered. They might too. Nearly half the marriages Shan had performed as a priest were of two people of the same sex, and these Paulists were likely to start talking about Sodom and Gomorrah and fiery swords.
“You really like Natalie, don’t you?” Temar asked brightly. Shan blinked, not quite understanding where the conversation was going. Temar’s eyes widened, and he leaned closer to Shan, his eyes flickering over toward the guard when Shan didn’t respond.
“Oh.” Shan stood and made sure he faced that distant watcher. If the man actually was watching, as opposed to being some random soldier standing there watching the waterfall and thinking about how he’d just broken up with his girlfriend. On this ship, it was hard to tell.
“Yes, she’s intelligent, beautiful, and she has this inner strength that anyone would find sexy,” Shan said as he looked Temar up and down, making it clear who he was really describing. Temar started turning pink, and Shan forced himself to pay more attention to the water.
“Shan?”
“Yes?”
“Are you interested in inviting Natalie to the planet permanently? I know this is fast….”
“Very fast,” Shan said, and while he thought he’d been understanding Temar’s logic, now he was back to being confused.
“Sometimes love happens that way… fast.” Temar smiled at him, and Shan’s whole body warmed. It wasn’t the hard lust he’d felt as a youngster, or even the frustration he’d sometimes endured as a priest when he realized he could never reach out and touch what he really wanted. This was a bone-deep realization that, even if he had to wait, he would have his lover, now and forever. Shan smiled back, and for a moment, they stood in silence, tiny drops of water sliding down Shan’s face and catching in Temar’s hair so that the light sparkled as though through glass.
“Maybe you should ask her to move her belongings down to Livre—not just as a culture liaison, but forever.”
“And if it doesn’t work?”
Temar ducked his head and leaned a little closer. “When it’s right, it’s right, and you know it. She can leave again if she wants, but….”
Shan thought about it for a second. “But if she comes down only as a temporary liaison, they could order her back up here at any time.”
“I know you, Shan Polli. You may not fall in love easily, but you can go to some ridiculous lengths once you give your heart away.”
“I really can,” Shan agreed. “But I don’t want her to be alone down there. I wonder if Rula would be interested in moving or if she has some friend she could bring down.”
“Rula?” Temar frowned, and Shan realized that he’d missed that part of the conversation.
Leaning forward, Shan angled his body to hopefully make it harder for anyone to catch his words. “I think Rula and Natalie are as close as you and I.”
“Like sisters, then?” Temar asked, but he had a twinkle in his eye that didn’t suggest siblings.
“Exactly like that,” Shan agreed.
Temar nodded. “She definitely wouldn’t want to be dropped down on a planet that’s 65 percent male by herself,” he said firmly.
So Temar had grasped that relationship. “Probably not,” Shan agreed. “Besides, I can see Rula and Naite getting along well.”
Temar’s eyebrows went up. “Rula and Naite?”
“They’re both very physical, very….” Shan paused. Okay, he was making this up, and he couldn’t come up with one reason why they would like each other.
Patting Shan on the arm, Temar shook his head. “Rula might be nearly as muscled as Naite, but she likes talking about art and laughing at silly puns, at least when she’s not on duty being all serious. Trust me, they might respect each other, but Naite is not going to want a woman to discuss art with him.”
“Probably not,” Shan agreed.
“Someone will court her,” Temar said with a shrug before he started back down the path toward the exit. Shan agreed—they were probably pushing their luck with how long they could hide from the microphones, and even here, he wasn’t too sure they were safely hidden.
“And maybe I will have a chance to properly court someone,” Shan pointed out. Just about the time that he’d figured out that Temar was ready for a relationship, all this drama with the inner planets had interfered. Shan still hated himself for dropping marriage into the conversation so casually, but he did want a chance to court Temar, to charm him and convince him to stand in front of an altar and make a life commitment to each other.
Temar looked over and gave Shan a mischievous smile. “You do like your formal courting, don’t you? I’ve heard certain people complain that you’re even a little slow-moving when it comes to courting.”
Shan narrowed his eyes. “Unlike some people, I think courting should go slowly. Now, it’s not that I don’t enjoy being caught off guard by a romantic ambush… or two or three….” Shan smiled as the tops of Temar’s ears turned a nice shade of pink. “But I want to court someone, to make sure that they know that I want them in my life forever.”
They had reached the spot with that giant,
pink podlike flower, and Temar reached out to run a finger along the surface as he gave Shan a searching look. “So, if you’re courting, you wouldn’t have sex unless you thought it was a forever thing?”
“Well,” Shan said slowly, “I certainly wouldn’t sleep with someone unless I’d had thoughts about forever.”
“Really?” Temar feigned surprise.
“Definitely,” Shan said firmly. “When I court someone, it’s because I care for them. If I sleep with someone, it’s because I love them. You know how I feel about God, and I would not have a relationship that I couldn’t proclaim in front of God and the whole community. I never have.” Shan frowned. “Well, except when I was sixteen, but at sixteen young men are idiots, and God understands that.” Shan frowned, wondering exactly how they’d gotten into a conversation this serious, given the awkward situation. He wished they were back home, sitting on the crest of a dune with the sunset in front of them and the bike waiting to take them home.
“So, sex for you doesn’t come without at least passing thoughts of marriage,” Temar summarized.
Shan moved closer, willing Temar to understand just how serious he was. Maybe the lingering traces of fear that he’d hurt Temar were making him too bold, but he had to say this. “If I keep sleeping with someone, I’m probably making plans for a wedding and wondering how long I had to wait to ask them without risking getting turned down.” Shan saw the look of utter shock on Temar’s face, and he cleared his throat. Clearly that was not the tack to take. “Or I might consider the marriage without actually making formal plans, because sometimes I push too hard, and I’m okay with someone telling me to back off,” he added, trying to undo the damage. Temar still looked shocked.
Temar finally cleared his throat, his expression turning more neutral. “You said you like getting caught off guard by a romantic ambush, but it sounds like you do some ambushing of your own.”
Shan sighed. “Not intentionally. I do, however, say things without fully thinking them through, sometimes. I actually do things without thinking them through too. You should ask Naite. He’ll be very happy to regale you with stories of how very stupid I am.”
Temar laughed. “I’ve heard one or two variations on that.”
“Yeah, well, many of them are probably true.” Shan started back toward the formal path. Their moment of privacy was over, but he felt better now that he knew Temar understood. “Of course, I think my brother is an idiot, so we’re even.”
“I understand sibling rivalry. My sister isn’t an idiot, but she can be very annoying… and thoughtless and rude and pushy,” Temar said as they stepped onto the path. They continued with the pointless conversation, discussing things they both understood quite well. At the door, a guide joined them.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” he asked politely. Temar ducked his head and turned to study a tree with wide, pointed leaves while Shan answered for them.
“Coming from a desert, having open water like this is amazing.”
“The ship systems recapture all moisture, no matter how it’s used inside the facility,” the man offered. “There are a number of moons with similar planetside bases, so you could have gardens and waterfalls on Livre.”
Shan looked around and wondered what people on Livre would think of this. Lilian would snort, declare the whole thing a waste of water, and go back to her farm. Naite would too. Some people, like Dee’eta Sun, would probably appreciate the beauty of the place, but Shan doubted that anyone would vote to spend precious resources on a water-drenched park. “It is very beautiful,” he said without mentioning how little interest they had in it.
The guide smiled at them. “I’m glad that you enjoyed yourself. Would you like to see other parts of the ship? The manufacturing sector, perhaps? Few people get to see it, so it’s quite an honor to let you inside the security zone.”
“Manufacturing?” Shan perked up. That sounded interesting. He turned to look at Temar, who rolled his eyes.
“You’re not subtle,” Temar informed him.
“When it comes to machines, I don’t have to be,” Shan pointed out. He didn’t say that he liked machines better than many people for that very reason, but he was fairly sure Temar understood that.
“Manufacturing it is, then,” Temar said, with a smile for Shan.
Shan realized that the sandrat that had been eating his brain had vanished at some point. They’d made a good trade, Temar understood his feelings, and Shan was 90 percent sure they were rescuing two innocent women from Paulists. Life was good.
Chapter 24
TEMAR watched Shan’s face light with pleasure as he stuck his head in another machine while a mechanic explained how it worked. Temar never thought he’d be jealous of a big hunk of metal, but he was. Natalie had certainly never earned that rapt expression from Shan. However, Temar figured that if Shan didn’t keep his attention on something or someone else, he would give away the game. Every time Shan had looked to Temar, Ambassador Melton had seemed a little more concerned and confused.
At the time, Temar hadn’t understood the dynamics in the room, and he’d held back as he’d watched Natalie try to charm Shan, and Shan try to keep his temper, and Melton get more brusque. The ambassador knew he was missing something. Now that Temar knew the AFP was anti-homosexuality, he suspected that Melton had seen some of the looks that passed between Shan and Temar and had questioned them. Maybe Natalie’s flirting was nothing more than a distraction to keep them out of trouble. Or maybe she really did see Livre as a way to get her and her lover out of a dangerous situation.
Temar didn’t see any signs of love between the two women, but if they were together, they had a lot more experience hiding than anyone Temar knew. On Livre, you only hid relationships when you knew the other person’s parents were going to hate you on sight. Temar had done that a few times. He’d also gotten caught every time. Shan was right about one thing—teenagers were idiots.
Shan pulled his head out of the machine and turned to Temar. “Isn’t this amazing?” His eyes were bright with curiosity, and he turned to the mechanic. “What’s the RPM rate and fatigue strength in the arms?”
The mechanic answered in a series of incomprehensible phrases that left Shan nodding in rapt attention while Temar looked around. Overhead, an enormous bladder of air seemed to twist, puffs escaping from seams that ran the length of the piece.
Temar had no idea what it was, but his hands itched with a need to try and twist glass to match the sinuous form. For months, every time Temar looked at glass, he’d only seen glass… flat, plain glass. For the first time in months, he looked around the world and he wanted a blowpipe and time to try and twist glass to his will. The banana flower with its light-pink hanging pod that opened to reveal vivid red petals, that would be fairly easy to replicate. Well, not easy, but Temar could envision the techniques now.
He’d have to join an opaque white glass with a vivid burgundy, so that the color was hidden until someone explored the piece. Tin, gold, maybe some manganese salts should duplicate the color. He let his mind wander as Shan and his mechanic friend followed a huge rod of metal farther back into the ship. Temar followed without really listening. He was more interested in studying the shapes of the strange machines.
These weren’t the drive engines, but they clearly ran something important, given the number of men and women hovering just outside the small bubble that Shan and Temar seemed to form everywhere they went on the ship. Temar watched as a woman with her hair bound into a bun hopped over a low cluster of pipes to avoid passing too near them. Without Natalie and Rula, the bubble seemed to have shrunk some, and workers watched curiously as long as they had a piece of machinery to stand behind. It worried Temar that these people had given them a wider berth with the two women escorting them. It made him wonder what everyone else knew.
Temar glanced toward Shan. Clearly he trusted Natalie and believed that she was trying to honestly warn them of the danger. However, Temar couldn’t help but think of the way Be
n had shown so much concern for Temar as they drove to the farm that first day.
The worst part was that Temar couldn’t separate paranoia from reasonable suspicion. He looked at everyone and had that kernel of doubt, that suspicion that clung to him. Well, almost everyone. He trusted Shan and Naite and…. Actually, Shan and Naite were about it. Trust was a limited commodity when it came to anyone else.
When Natalie came walking down the aisle, Temar watched her. The flirting she’d done in the meeting somehow didn’t match her long stride, the way her boots clipped against the gray metal corridors, or her long hair that hung in soft waves. Having a sister, Temar knew how much work it took to get hair to look like that. Cyla used to tie her hair up with strips of cloth that made her look like a lumpy pincushion, but she never did get her hair to do the perfectly even wave. Temar couldn’t easily explain Natalie, and that made him twitchy.
“Shan, Temar,” she called out happily, and Shan pulled his head out of the machinery.
“Natalie, hi.”
“Ambassador Melton sent me out to find you.”
Temar could see the flash of worry dart across Shan’s face, but he covered it with a smile. “Oh? I thought we had finished negotiations.”
“I’m sure everything’s satisfactory.” Natalie moved closer, edging her way past Temar with only a glance. That was fine—Temar really didn’t want to catch anyone’s attention. “I think the ambassador wants to discuss the future and some opportunities to bring our worlds closer together.”
Shan glanced over, but Temar didn’t have any answers.
“This soon?”
Natalie smiled. “I suspect he just finished calling the vice president and has authorization to make some new offers. After all, you have shown that you’re willing to let us carry the bag and test the strength of it to hold the truth. I think they were expecting you to be either more desperate or more argumentative.”
“Oh, I can argue, when I think there’s something to argue about,” Shan said, his hand resting against Natalie’s back, and he started heading back the way they came. As they passed, Shan looked at Temar, silently telegraphing his willingness to drop the whole act if Temar wanted him to. It gave Temar an odd warmth to realize that Shan loved him so much he would anger an entire planetary alliance before crossing Temar. Temar gave Shan a small smile, and the tension in Shan’s shoulders visibly eased.