Deporting Dominic

by Lindemann, Renee

  “Mommy where is my daddy? I wanted him to take me to camp today,” Bryce asked as he gobbles down a spoon full of cereal

  “Daddy went to exercise this morning,” I lied. Morgan and Charlie look at me seeing right through my obvious lie. Neither of them forces me to come clean thankfully. After the kids are secure in their various activities for the day I try to get some work done at home alone. By early afternoon I still have not seen or heard from my husband. I try calling his cell phone but I am greeted by his voicemail. I leave a quick cheerful message.

  “Hey baby just wondering where you are. I am missing my husband call me. I love you.”

  When I pick up the kids I still have no clue as to Dominic’s whereabouts. Bryce, as if sensing my internal distress does not ask for his daddy on the ride home. This is both comforting and alarming that my toddler understands the situation all too well for his young age. On our way home we spot a huge garage sale. I decide to check it out with the kids. While I really want to see my husband none of us are eager to get home to his depressed nature.

  “Mom, look at this,” Charlie said pointing to a wooden square box.

  “What is it?” I ask trying to figure out what it was and failing miserably.

  “The owner said it’s an awards display case,” Charlie turns the box around to show that it has three glass panels. The wood looks like it has seen better days. The glass is filthy and needs to be removed and cleaned on both sides. The one side without glass is highly scratched from years of wear and tear.

  “We could buy this clean it, paint it, and put Dominic’s swim awards in this.”

  “Good idea Charlie. This could help him,” Morgan chimes in. Bryce is thinking of no one but himself when he approaches us with an arm full of used toys. We laugh and I purchase the wooden display case along with the toys of course. I stop at a craft store so that the kids can get the supplies they need to revitalize the display case.

  Dominic is still not home when we return. My worry has turned to fear as I try his cell phone once more. He doesn’t answer. To quell my fears I immerse myself in the task of disinfecting the used toys while the kids get started on the display case project. Three hours later the case sits proudly on our dining room table having replaced the flower centerpiece. Inside the nearly invisible glass panels rests as many of Dominic swim medals as we could find. Morgan was able to paint his name on the now smooth wooden surface in neat block letters.

  Dominic Jesus Castillo

  A Great Swimmer.

  A Wonderful Friend.

  An Excellent Father

  The words touch my heart deeply and I fight my emotional response. I hope that by seeing how proud we are of him that Dominic will snap out of his funk. I make his favorite meal of spaghetti and meatballs with a tossed salad to ensure he has nothing to be sad about.

  “This looks amazing, good job guys,” I beamed proudly.

  “I painted this right here mommy,” Bryce said indicating a small corner. I notice his clothes are covered in the paint and laugh at how that could be possible.

  “Charlie can you put my little Picasso in the tub please? Oh and throw those clothes out.”

  Charlie takes Bryce in the bathroom for his bath. Morgan and I set the table for dinner both hoping Dominic puts in an appearance soon. I am happy when I hear the key turning in the lock.

  “Hey baby! I’m glad to see you. I was getting worried,” I said rushing to greet him. “I tried calling your phone.”

  Dominic shrugs his shoulders, “I didn’t feel like talking.”

  “Oh okay well I made dinner we were waiting for you so that we could eat together.”

  I look at Dominic and then to Morgan. She is frowning and I immediately smile to assure her everything is okay. Bryce rushes out the bathroom wrapped in only a towel.

  “Daddy did you see what we made for you.”

  “Uh, no I didn’t. I already ate Samantha. I am going to go lie down.” Dominic walks toward the bedroom and Bryce follows him.

  “Daddy it’s not in the room. It’s on the table. Come see it.”

  Dominic reluctantly turns around walking to the dining room table. Bryce takes this opportunity, as it is the most attention Dominic has paid him all week to chatter on.

  “Daddy, are you still going to take me swimming with you.” He is barely holding on to his racecar towel as he speaks.

  Bryce’s words halt Dominic just as he makes it to the table.

  “I don’t think so Bryce,” Dominic replies gruffly. I flinch and wait to see how Bryce will respond. I do not want to overreact and it turns out he is okay with the news. Bryce says nothing and just looks down at his little toes. My heart skips a beat.

  “Dominic, we made this for you,” Charlie said proudly indicating the display case. Dominic’s brown eyes, sans gold flecks, narrow as he takes in the wooden box.

  “See I put your name on it here and a few kind words,” Morgan points out proudly. Dominic presses his lips into a hard line and I see what looks like rage flash across his eyes. “You really, really shouldn’t have done this,” he said through tightly clenched teeth.

  “Dominic,” I exclaim, “They worked all afternoon on this case for you.”

  “Thanks,” Dominic whispered as he makes his way to our bedroom. Morgan and Charlie’s faces fall simultaneously into a hurt expression. Bryce is still standing clutching his towel crying softly.

  “Come here baby,” I said holding out my arms. I throw a horrified scowl at Dominic who ignores me as he shuts the bedroom door. I take Bryce to his room and get him into his pajamas. It takes a while for me to soothe him enough to eat his dinner. My heart breaks for my kids as they sit at the table eating dinner in total silence.

  “What the hell is your problem?” I asked Dominic fighting to retain control of the volume of my voice.

  “I don’t have a problem Samantha,” he replies back curtly.

  “Those kids worked hard on that for you and you just blow them off. How could you be so cruel?”

  “Cruel? I’m cruel?” He asked repeatedly pointing to himself. “I didn’t ask for that wooden reminder of my failure.”

  “You need to stop this pity party for one really it’s been a week. It’s getting old. I made your favorite dinner come eat with us.”

  “Unless you are no longer feeling sick then there is nothing else we can do together.”

  Horror permeates my features as I come to understand his words. I laugh to hide my pain.

  “Do you think I want to sleep with you now?” Wow how wrong you are.”

  “Then I guess you can go back to your spaghetti and meatballs.”

  Dominic walks to the bathroom.

  “Dominic, stop please. You’re hurting the kids. You’re hurting me too.”

  Turning around Dominic glares at me. “Stop trying to fix everything Samantha. You can’t fix this so unless you’re about to take your clothes off leave me alone.”

  The tears flood down my cheeks as his words rip through my heart. I try to tell myself that it’s his anger speaking not my loving husband. Before he can shut the bathroom door I figure out what to said next.

  “In the shower at the hotel, we made a promise.”

  As if he can’t believe my words he glares at me. I search his face for signs of my husband and he is not present. The man before me is an angry stranger.

  “You think that makes any of this better?” Dominic’s lips curl at the corner in a frightening grimace.

  “We promised each other Dominic. Doesn’t that count for something?”

  “How long am I going to have to deal with all this?” Dominic gestures to our entire room or apartment for that matter. Unconsciously my hand clutches my chest as the pain rips threw me. I stutter unable to catch my breath.

  “Deal with what?”

  “This! All of this! I don’t need this shit. I could be in Guadalajara right now.”

  “You’re an asshole! Better yet you are a fucking liar,” I yelled wanting to h
it him.

  “Sorry Saint Samantha you can’t fix everything. I am out of here. I am sure I can find somewhere warm to sleep tonight since it’s so frigid in here.”

  Grabbing his gym bag Dominic heads for our bedroom door. I plop down on the bed my head swimming as it comes to terms with my heart.

  “You promised me you wouldn’t hurt me.”

  My words are ineffective as he walks out the bedroom without another word to me. I hear Morgan’s voice, “You’re a liar Dominic. You promised you wouldn’t hurt our mom.”

  “She is not your mom. She is your sister. Try not to believe everything someone tells you.”

  Those words halt anything else Morgan may have wanted to say. Charlie shouts, “Get out of here you asshole. I actually thought of you as a father.” Holding up his hands Dominic gives a maniacal laugh, “Hey I’m going.”

  I am trying to console all three of my children by the time he hits the stairs. My heart continues to shatter as my brain ventures into dark territory. The kids are in my bed nestled around me whimpering softly. I feel bad that I can’t stop wondering where my errant husband will spend the night. My mind concludes it will be some female’s bed and my tears flow harder. I feel like a failure, my marriage lasted less than a month. It really was a scam. I tricked myself into believing it was real love. Mackenzie’s words echo in my head that he was just using me to get to Beijing. I try to shake these dark thoughts as I console my children until we all fall asleep.

  The next morning the kids eagerly get dressed for camp. I can see they want out of the apartment before Dominic puts in another appearance. Morgan takes the display case and places it under the coffee table. It is least likely to be seen there. Just as we get ready to leave Dominic puts in an appearance. No one greets him, instead they move faster, to get out of the apartment. I desperately want to know where he slept but I dare not ask.

  “Look I’m tired and I do not want to argue,” he warns.

  “Fine pull out the sofa bed and go to sleep,” I informed him confidently.

  “Oh I have to sleep on the couch? Wow!”

  “Since this is not going to last no need to kid ourselves. C’mon guys, lets go.” Grabbing my purse and keys I head to the door. The kids are already there and waiting with sad expressions on their faces.

  “I am getting in our bed in that room.” Dominic points to the bedroom door.

  “Fine I will sleep on the sofa bed. I’m not feeling good indefinitely,” I retorted walking out the door. Whatever Dominic said I don’t hear as I slam the door shut.

  Instead of going straight home I head to Walmart for groceries and household items. The public environment prevents me from having another crying session. My eyes are already red and puffy from the previous night’s tearfest.

  When I get to the apartment I realize it’s going to take me two trips to get all the bags out of the car. Dominic is in the bed asleep as I haul in the groceries alone. Locking the bathroom door I step into the welcoming shower allowing the pulsating jets to massage my skin. The shower helps my weary body find a second wind. I slip into my underwear and robe before emerging from the bathroom. Dominic is still in the bed and I feel my heart shudder just looking at him. I force my gaze away and find some appropriated clothing.

  “Is this your way of apologizing,” Dominic asked as I find a pair of shorts to slip into.

  “What?” I said startled by his sudden outburst.

  “You came out in your robe. I figured you were no longer sick.” His accent is heavy and thick making my nerve stand on end.

  “Trust I’m still quite sick. I just need to get dressed and I will be out of your depressed hair.”

  I yank my shorts up as he gets out of bed. Quickly I grab my shirt and try to pull it on fast but he is in front of me holding my arm.

  “Let me go,” I hissed.

  “No wifely duties?” He arches an eyebrow touching the swell of my breasts. My traitorous body responds to his touch. I force those sensations away as I try to pull the shirt over my head.

  “I figured you got all you needed last night.”

  Dominic threw his head back roaring with laughter. His cavalier attitude coupled with the laughter sends me into a rage.

  “Don’t you fucking touch me again you asshole.”

  As if it’s a game he pulls at my shirt touching my breasts once more. I slap his hand away and stomp away from him.

  “I guess I’m on a solo mission.” He turns so that I can see his arousal before heading to the bathroom. I actually feel like bile rising in my throat as I slam the bedroom door. Who is this man? Where is my husband?

  I grab a spare pillow from the linen closet heading for the couch. Between the kids kicking me and my marriage worries I got very little sleep last night. In spite of the pain I feel sleep descend upon me quickly. My dreams force me away several hours later. The question of where Dominic spent his night racks my brain and haunts my dreams. The apartment is eerily quiet. I know Dominic is gone without having to check the bedroom. After fixing a small bowl of leftovers I head to the computer to get some work done before I have to pick up the kids. Several more hours later the spaghetti is next to my computer congealing in the bowl, barely touched. My appetite along with my positive mood has vanished. The computer and rental properties keep me engrossed and my mind preoccupied with thoughts other than my estranged husband.

  “Samantha we need to talk,” Dominic announces almost knocking me out of my chair. My heart is racing this time not from pain but from fright.

  “Jesus you scared me. I am working right now besides I don’t have anything to said to you,” I replied keeping my back to Dominic. I don’t want to look into his lying eyes.

  “Fine I will do the talking you keep working.” He said the words as if he is testing them for the first time. I continue writing an email letting the feeling of betrayal guide my anger.

  “I feel like a failure,” he said and I interrupt him. “You are a failure at marriage.” I snort derisively and continue typing my email.

  “I deserve that. Samantha you have no idea how hurt and angry I am not making the Olympic team.”

  I turn around in my chair. “Let me take a stab at it. You’re so hurt that you have alienated your family, made all my kids cry, and debased your new bride. Oh, and you’re ready to put an end to your three week old marriage. Am I right?”

  Dominic lowers his head as I speak. I turn back around in my chair.

  “Mackenzie said that I am acting like a complete idiot and I should beg your forgiveness.” My hands stop typing immediately as my world caves in around me.

  “Get out of my apartment right fucking now,” I scream at him. Dominic rushes to my side his eyes wide with fear. “Please Sammie just hear me out.”

  “Don’t call me Sammie now you lying bastard. If you value your hands do not touch me.” I snatch away from him then push my chair away from the desk to stand.

  “See she understood what I was feeling being on the swim team. She explained how wrong I was to take out my anger on my family.”

  “I don’t give a fuck if she taught you how to polka. I don’t want to hear another word about her opinion on our marriage. All I need is for you to leave.” I choke back a sob refusing to cry this time.

  “Sammie, you are always trying to fix things and you can’t fix this. I just needed you to back off but you kept pushing.”

  “I will not apologize for doing my job as your wife. And I won’t listen to this anymore. You don’t have to leave I will.”

  Grabbing my purse and cell phone I head for the door. Dominic grabs my arm as I try to yank it back but he has a strong grip on me. “Let go of me,” I holler loudly.

  “Sammie stop. Let me talk to you please.”

  “Go talk to that locker room slut bag. Now let me go Dominic.” His lips are on me and I am fighting to get him off me. When we finally separate I wipe my mouth in disgust.

  “Do not touch me again. I have no idea where your lips have
been. You made things crystal clear around here last night. So I don’t go to jail I will cooperate with INS other than that this marriage doesn’t exist. So you’re a free man you do not owe me or my children any explanations. Just do not said anything shitty to them. Better yet do not even speak to them period. As soon as we can we will divorce.”

  I turned leaving Dominic stunned and speechless as I leave the apartment.

  “Keep it together. Just hold on! Go get the kids. Don’t let them see you crying anymore,” I repeated these things to myself. I am inside my minivan gripping the steering wheel tightly. Finally the tears back off and I take my victory and drive away.

  “Sorry I was working and sleeping so it’s leftovers,” I informed my kids.

  “Is Dominic there?” Charlie asked. Bryce looks happy for a fleeting moment then I assume the memories of yesterday change his mind. Dropping his head down my son looks abandoned. My anger is renewed all over again. “He was home when I left. He was trying to apologize,” I said honestly.

  “I don’t want to hear an apology,” Charlie said looking out the passenger window. Morgan just stares straight ahead the effect of last night still lingers painfully. Bryce is the quietest he has ever been as a direct result of Dominic’s actions. At home no one acknowledges his presence as he sits on the couch looking rather pitiful.

  “Samantha can I please talk to you alone,” he said standing.

  “There is nothing else you need to said to me. I think you made yourself very clear last night. I do not want to upset the kids anymore than they are already upset.”

  “Samantha please I fucked up royally. Please just hear me out.”

  Dominic’s tense gaze flickers from me then to the children and back to me. A small part of me feels sorry for him and the other part still wants to bitch slap him for a number of offenses.

  “Morgan, can you heat up the leftover spaghetti? Can you find a movie to watch it’s okay if you eat in front of the TV?” This announcement brings some joy to Bryce’s ears. It is definitely a treat for me to allow them to eat in front of the television. Charlie and Morgan shoot Dominic dirty looks as we walk into our room.