BUFF

  Untangling himself, he turns her to face him head on. “You fit right here,” he says, placing her hand on his heart. “You ever need to hide from the world, you hide here, Little Bit.”

  “I can’t hide anywhere else. I want you. I want everything you have to offer and I don't care how scared I am or how unsure the future’s going to be for us. As long as I know you're by my side, I know I'm going to be okay.”

  She closes her eyes, taking a deep breath. Before she can open them, his lips are on hers. Her body undulates against his, teased with the hardness of his hot mouth, his groans. He pulls away, just before she bites her lip lightly. “What about you?”

  “I guess… I hadn’t realized I was so unhappy until I knew I couldn’t have you… I always thought loving a woman was weak, but loving you makes me feel stronger… You give me a reason to fight back.” He brushes her hair away from her face, kissing the tip of her nose that wrinkles in return. “Loving you feels right and good and the right and good haven’t exactly been in my life, babe... Always done what I wanted, when I wanted, no-one ever refused me. Thought living my life the way I wanted was as good as it gets. As long as it filled in all the spaces my childhood turned rotten, I was okay… But I was wrong… Never understood just seeing someone smile or laugh, taking in their cute blush could make me feel… right... Didn’t know… And now my life is all about those little things… with you.”

  His celestial eyes capture hers with each revered flex. Hooked on the infinite ache in his adoring gaze she feels small and treasured just from the relished darkness of his stare.

  “I don’t regret a single thing,” he says.

  The mob. It was his whole life. And he gave up everything—all the money, all the power he had earned, handed it straight into Abruzzi’s hands on a silver platter. All so he can spend the rest of his life with her. Abruzzi had been more than eager to take up the new position, but he didn’t trust Colt’s intentions. The terms were for Colt to leave the state and to never return. Colt didn't even flinch at the deal.

  “I have a cute blush?” she asks, her face reddening in color.

  “Yeah. It takes all my strength to not drop to my knees and pleasure you for hours whenever I see it. You intoxicate me, babe—especially when your hair’s damp and wavy… like now… Shines like the ocean down there...” His head bends down to her eye level as a smile spreads across his features. “Christ, I love it when you wear white too… so pure and innocent... For some reason it reminds me of the first time I saw you when I was shot. Thought you an angel then too.”

  “Colt…” she says, breathlessly, bringing her forehead against his. “You’re my fallen angel.”

  His lips slide down over hers and he kisses her just the way he knows how to get her flustered, deep long kisses that missed her, waited for her, kisses that travel to the center of her and spread out and through her body slowly. His thumb rests in the indent at the corner of her mouth. “I love you." He kisses her breathless again and the words stumble out between an airy pause, “I love you so much,” right before his tongue grazes her lower lip.

  He stops after a second, looking into her as though wondering how he’d gotten so lucky when he feels so unworthy. She hates it when he looks at her like that—like he doesn’t deserve her. “Colt—”

  “I need you,” he says, whisper soft, “I need you again.” He brings her down to lay on the patch of grass beneath them. She climbs on top of him, looking out onto the view of the ocean and the Sky ahead, but as soon as she straddles him he rolls them over, tucking her small body under his as the sweet scent of flowers surround her.

  He pushes her skirt up, pulls her panties down and unbuttons his jeans. She feels his hot tip peeking at the entrance of her tunnel and his panting breaths seems to increase but he doesn’t enter her… like he’s nervous about something…

  “What’s wrong, Colt? You want me to beg?” That’s Colt’s thing. Making her beg for it. But something is different. His eyes seem to search her for something... “Colt? What’re you waiting for?

  “For you to say yes.”

  “Yes? To… What? You mean?” Shivers run rampant through her body. “Oh. My. God… Colt…”

  “Rebecca Emma Appleton… Be my wife.”

  “She doesn’t answer, her tongue is dry and her bones lock shut, fusing to her skin like a magnet. His luminescent eyes follow hers as they travel around her face. When they finally lock in on his again, her insides sway.

  There is only one answer to give to Colt Lawson.

  “No.”

  His smile fades instantly, his eyes broody. “No? Why the hell not?”

  “No. Well… not until... you come inside me, Mr. Lawson.”

  “I’ll make the whole world explode inside you, Mrs. Colt. For you… anything.”

  He kisses her again, his hands moving hers to pin her arms up. He kisses long and hard. It’s so intense she thinks he’s going to fuck her there and then. But she wants him to thrust into her. Again and again. The urge is so strong that it physically aches when he removes his lips from hers. He is torturing her, little by little, with his sizzling kisses.

  She is dying already. Drowned with recklessness. Strangled with anticipation. Just dying with desire.

  “Does that mean you'll... You sure?” he whispers, rubbing her swollen mouth with the tip of his thumb.

  She stills under him, licking her lips, feeling the taste of him still on her tongue. She gazes up at her future husband, her heart feeling ready to spontaneously combust as she stares into his eyes and sees nothing but unconditional love beaming back at her.

  "Yes," she nods, “Colt. Yes. I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

  He watches her, doing little to hide the fact that he seems utterly captivated by her. His stare is twilight, faint, subdued in marvel. His lips are already wet as his stare searches her face for one small moment, stretching time and splitting her senses down the middle in the process.

  He bends down, his upper lip grazing hers, a shaft of hot trembles echoing down her body. And then he captures her lips between his, inhaling all of her with the one kiss as she follows his movement and latches lovingly onto his mouth.

  She feels his hand cup her jaw, his thumb trace down the sensitive line and then cup her neck as he slants his head imperceptibly sideways and deepens the kiss a fraction. The tip of his tongue darts out, hotly announcing its presence to her very heated loins.

  His fingers latch on to the base of her neck, his mouth moving over hers, discovering her as if it’s the first time he has tasted her, lifting his lips up in a light stroke then falling into the depth of her mouth in a rhythm that turns her stomach to mush, moistens her center.

  A moan starts in her chest and ruptures out. Colt breaks slowly away, his mouth smiling against hers. Her swollen lips tremble in the aftermath, trying to fit a smile on her face, but the command won’t reach her mind.

  “I'm sorry,” he whispers, “for the hurt I caused you in the past. Never again. Just pleasure. Smoking. Hot. Orgasms."

  He sounds like sex, like satin sheets and sweaty limbs. She peeks a look at him. He doesn’t look sorry. She nods, her forehead presses against his. "It's okay."

  His fingers, still buried in her hair, graze against the unseen skin there. “This is going to be okay, Becky."

  “Promise me.” She hears the words, unchecked and on the verge of desperation, spur from her mouth; the rawness of the moment diminishing her common sense for good. “Promise me we'll be okay."

  He’s staring at her mouth again and he leans in, sipping from her mouth with his, a breeze of a kiss whispering against her, burning her insides into kindling. His mouth undulates over hers, spreading her mouth open and just when she submits and lets his mouth open hers, he pulls away, their lips sticking together for a second.

  He tears his gaze away from her swollen lips, the red rim around them, tender from his use. “I promise. We'll be okay. You and me."

  Her eyes drift clos
e. She would be his wife and live in the bounds of the vows she makes. Her true happiness exists in being with this man.

  Her future husband.

  She will make this work, die to her own selfish dreams and desires, try to be happy with what they have and not ask for more. Colt will care for her, provide for their future. No doubt. Not when it comes to him. They will make it. Together.

  Grabbing her by the waist, Colt rubs against her, pulling her into another deep kiss. His hands grip her hair as their tongues once again meet in a sweet dance. Colt pulls her leg over his hip and settles himself between her thighs. He pulls back and looks at her, love shining through his blue eyes before he leans down and kisses her, his tongue thrusting in her mouth at the same moment that his body thrusts into her heat. It’s warm, explosive, everything that she’s come to know about Colt. He fills her in, in a way that no man ever can and ever will. She wraps her arms around him, bringing him closer, pulling his chest against hers as their bodies mold to fit one another.

  They stay in each other’s arms until midnight before heading back and mounting his bike. “Hey," Colt says, looking ahead. His thumb swishes slowly across the top of her hand that is wrapped around his torso.

  She smiles lazily, staring out into the brilliant moonlight and the myriad of stars above before peeking at him. As always that floating sensation wraps around her, squeezing her insides tight until breathing is a hard thing to come by.

  “Hey yourself,” she whispers, her voice caught in emotion that has snuck up on her.

  With one firm grip on the handlebar, his other hand tightens around her, his blue eyes bright as the stars above, heavenly crafted singularly for her undoing.

  “You okay?” the velvet coarseness of his question always has the same stomach gripping quality, makes her want to jump in his lap, run her fingers through his hair and forget about everything in the world except them.

  “I'm good.” She nudges his hand firmer into her grip, weaving their fingers and drawing their joined hands together. “I'm better than good… fiancé."

  He looks out at the open road. “You know it's gonna be okay, right?” He scrapes his bottom lip, glancing back at her.

  “I know.” Becky couldn't squash her need to lean over and lightly graze his cheek with a kiss. The small gesture has his eyes closing for a savoring moment where she can feel his hand trembling in hers. She eyes the open road, breathing in the crisp air of night. “I'm not used to being so happy, Colt."

  He grins, bringing their gathered hands up to his lips to kiss the silky surface in a comforting caress of his mouth that captures all the warmth and comfort of a home she has been searching for her whole life.

  He murmurs, as though relishing her reaction and not looking away, “Well, get used to it.” His devilish eyes twinkle. “Do me a favor, babe. Check my jacket pocket."

  “What?” she chuckles, not understanding his pleased expression.

  “Just do it,” he demands.

  “Okay.” She leans forward and reaches into his pocket, pulling out an… antique ring. It’s a beautiful, one-of-a-kind, white-gold, princess-cut ring.

  “It was my mom's...” he whispers, lowly, taking her hand again and holding it over his heart.

  “I love you, Colt.” She bites her lip in the way she knows drives him crazy. And it does.

  Gunning the engine he kisses her on the lips and meets her eyes. “I love you more.”

  Becky Appleton got it now.

  In the end, it doesn't matter how tough a person is or if they cry, fall or stumble along the way... because everybody does. Everyone makes mistakes. She's spent her life trying to avoid something that is humanly inevitable.

  She believes now that what really counts is just getting through it. If she survives then that's what counts. Never be ashamed of her inner scars. It simply means she is stronger than whatever tried to kill her.

  Hiding away in the darkness with only her conscience to keep her company is no way to live. No matter how many strikes or blows, the heart keeps on ticking, keeps on surviving, because that’s what it’s made for and as long as she’s willing to make the choice and live, she is choosing to fight, to win, to get all the dreams she has coming to her.

  And she is ready. Finally ready for her life.

  She knows nothing can prepare her the best and worst to come, but that isn't the point either. She's willing to face it all because she has gotten the one thing she never knew she always wanted.

  The gift of love.

  And more importantly a place of belonging and that is a treasure worth fighting for; one she will cherish till her last breath.

  All her life she’s questioned who she is, where she belongs. Now she is like the arrow that springs from the bow. No hesitation. No doubts. The path is clear. Destination? Well, that is easy.

  Colt Lawson.

  Their lips collide, and their bodies blaze on fire by the intensity of the kiss. With Colt by her side she is ready for all of life's unpredictability. She laughs into the open air, squeezing her future husband's hand a little tighter, then smiles when he kisses a fingertip.

  She is scared, but she is ready.

  She is done hiding, done running from her problems.

  She is going to be okay.

  She grins into the air, breathing in the stark coldness and loving the sweet feel. Her eyes glisten, mingled in anticipation and promise.

  Becky isn't sure where they are headed, what lays in wait for them, but life can bring it on.

  Becky Appleton has finally come out of hiding and found her haven in Colt Lawson.

  Acknowledgement

  My three sisters, who encouraged me to indulge in my bad-boy fantasies. I spent many long days and nights creating and dreaming about Colt Lawson, my first sexy alpha-male gun-wielding hero and the strong woman who stood by his side.

  Charlie, Bonnie and Lucy, my childhood friends who enjoy my eclectic ways and provide great suggestions. Though, Lucy, your last suggestion was a little too raunchy even for me! Thanks Charlie, for inspiring the waterfall idea ;)

  My editor, James Wilkins, who inspires me daily to reach for my dreams and to aim for the stars.

  Ling Zhao, for her untiring efforts in creating the perfect book cover and for getting how primal and fiery Colt is:)

  The Doomsday Writing Group for their feedback and enthusiastic support. Dean, I couldn’t have done this without you!

  Jake Winters, my partner in love for over five years and counting. He rides a Harley too. Thank you for supporting me and understanding that I needed to hide away and write for the last twelve months. I promise, Pumpkin, I’ll make up for it ;)

  Mandy Burns

  When not writing she can be found snowboarding with her friends, or watching romance movies with her three sisters, or, riding it real with the love of her life on the back of his Harley.