Ella was astonished when he told her what he meant to do. ‘We’ll make a list from the Post Office Directory, and I’ll put them in order for you, but we’d better have lunch first.’
Dan was annoyed that the journey – over fifty miles in an antiquated vehicle – had taken so long, for it was almost three in the afternoon before Ella leaned back. ‘That’s it, but there’s an awful lot of them.’
‘I could be lucky at the first place I try,’ Dan said, hopefully.
‘I doubt it. Take the map with you, so you can find all the different streets. The lorry would just be a hindrance, so leave it here and get the tram to Market Street. You’ll have to walk the rest.’
Dan studied the map on his way to the centre of the city, and when he came off the tram, he hurried down Market Street and along South Market Street until he came to Palmerston Road, the first on his list, where he had to pass several warehouses before finding any fish houses.
At each place he tried – going on to Poynernook Road, Raik Road and Stell Road – and only after having to wait to see this one or that one, he was told that they had never heard of Lizann Buchan, and it seemed no time at all until his watch told him that he need go no farther – work would have stopped for the day.
‘No luck?’ Ella asked sympathetically when he went back. ‘Never mind, there’s always tomorrow.’
‘I have to go back tonight. I’m short-staffed, and I don’t know when I’ll manage to get away again.’ Dan contemplated asking her to carry on the search, but decided against it. He wanted to find Lizann himself.
* * *
If not exactly deliriously happy, Jenny was quite content with her life nowadays. Robbie and Pearl visited every Saturday afternoon, and because Jenny had asked them not to spoil her children, they brought only small gifts. Of course, with sweets being on ration, Georgie and Lizann were thrilled to get little pokes bought with their surrogate grandparents’ coupons, and their mother made sure they kept some to share with the three Taits on Sunday.
On the Saturday evenings, while Jenny got to know Pearl Chapman, Robbie talked to Peter and after a few weeks was satisfied with what he learned of him. He brought up the subject with his sister. ‘You know, they’re right for each other, that two.’
‘Don’t you dare poke your nose in,’ she warned. ‘You want a fairy-tale ending, you old romantic, but it’s not as simple as that. They’ve a lot to think over first. She has two children already, he has three, and if they fall in love and get married, they’d likely have more. That house wouldn’t be big enough, and with all those mouths to feed, I shouldn’t think Peter could afford to buy anything bigger. And they’d likely be offended if you offered them money.’
‘It’s too late to say “if they fall in love”, Pearl. Didn’t you see the way he looks at her?’
Pearl clicked her tongue and then sighed. ‘Maybe he’s fallen, but not Jenny. She likes him, but nothing more than that, and I hope he doesn’t say anything yet; he might scare her off.’
‘So you do think they’re made for each other?’ Robbie’s button-bright blue eyes twinkled mischievously. ‘You’re a bit of a romantic yourself.’
Jenny would have gone on regarding Peter as a very dear friend as well as a lodger if two-and-a-half-year-old Lizann hadn’t set the cat amongst the pigeons. Putting on her coat to go to Sunday School with Georgie, she said, ‘Mummy, can I have my room to myself again? You used to sleep with Daddy, so why don’t you sleep with Peter?’
Sure that she was crimson from head to toe, Jenny avoided looking at Peter as studiously as she evaded the question. ‘Remember, Pattie and Tommy and Norma’ll be here for their dinner, so come straight home.’
Georgie grinned. ‘Oh, great! I love when they’re here.’
When they went out Jenny rose to clear the table, and after a moment Peter said, ‘I’ll give you a hand.’
As she filled the basin to wash the dishes, she felt surprised that he was ignoring her daughter’s innocent remark, but assumed that he was as uncomfortable about it as she was. Bairns had a habit of coming out with the most embarrassing questions, she thought, swishing the bar of yellow soap through the hot water to get a good lather.
The kitchen was spotless again by the time Chae Slater took the young Taits in, only a few minutes before her own two appeared. As usual, the boys did all the talking during the meal, Jenny and Peter smiling at the noise they were making. By the time they finished eating the rain had come on, and Peter suggested that they play some games, so the rest of the afternoon was punctuated by cries of delight or disappointment, depending on who had won at Ludo, snakes and ladders or draughts. When Lizann and Peter sat down after washing up, they were persuaded to take part and made a point of losing every game. They were soon twigged by Pattie, who by now was an intelligent, serious boy, very like his father. ‘You don’t need to cheat to lose,’ he objected. ‘We’d beat you anyway.’
‘Nothing gets past you, does it, lad?’ Peter laughed, ruffling his son’s fair head.
When Chae came for his grandchildren, he hung back to speak to Jenny while the others were at the door. ‘Nell and me was wondering …’ He stopped and winked. ‘You ken.’
‘No, I don’t.’ She did know what he meant, however, and was dismayed to feel her cheeks burning.
‘It’s quite a while you’ve bade together … it would be natural if you …’ He gave another suggestive wink.
‘There’s nothing like that between me and Peter.’ She was astonished at how her heart had speeded up, though it was likely just because she hadn’t thought of Peter in that way before.
‘Well, just mind, me and the wife’ll be happy to see him wed again, if things ever get that far. He’s a good man.’
That night, when Jenny went to fill the basin to bathe Peter’s leg, he said, ‘Leave that and come and sit down. I want to speak to you.’
Warily, she took the chair at the opposite side of the fire, and he smiled as he said, ‘Don’t look so worried. I’ve been thinking about what your Lizann said this morning.’
‘I’m sorry about that, Peter. She’s not old enough to …’
‘I’m glad she said it. She made me think, and I’ve made up my mind to look for other lodgings.’
‘Oh no, Peter,’ she gasped, hurt that he could even think about it. ‘There’s no need, unless … are you not happy here?’
‘I’m maybe too happy. Oh, Jenny, I’m trying to tell you I can’t go on like this.’ To cover his embarrassment, he ran his fingers through his hair, the blond waves simply springing back into place again. ‘I didn’t want to say anything yet. I know how much you loved Mick, but … is there any chance you could come to care for me … just a wee bit?’
She dropped her eyes, confused by her own feelings. ‘I’ve always been fond of you,’ she murmured, ‘and I’ve felt a lot closer to you since … I thought it was …’ She looked at him apologetically. ‘I thought it was pity, but it’s … more than that.’
‘I shouldn’t have said anything yet. You won’t feel easy with me now.’
She slipped off her chair to kneel on the floor beside him. ‘Peter,’ she said, softly, ‘I have to ask you. What about Lizann?’
His surprise was clearly genuine. ‘Lizann?’ He leaned down and lifted her hand to his lips. ‘I can’t pretend she never mattered to me. I still think about her sometimes. To tell the truth, when Mick … just before the torpedoes hit us, he made me promise to look after you if anything happened to him, and I made him promise to tell Lizann, if she ever came back, that I’d never stop loving her. I did love her, and when George Buchan was lost I thought it was still love I felt for her, but I know now it wasn’t. That was pity, and I’ve kidded myself for years. Anyway, she never loved me and I truly hope she’s found somebody else. Suppose she was to walk through that door right now, Jenny, it’s still you I’d want. I’d be pleased to see her, to know she was all right. Nothing more than that.’
‘You’re sure?’
; ‘Absolutely positive. It’s you I love. I always told Mick he was lucky having you, and if you ever say you’ll be my wife, I’ll consider myself the luckiest man in the world.’
‘All right, Peter,’ she murmured, ‘consider yourself the luckiest man in the world.’
‘You’ll marry me?’ he gasped.
‘You’ve made me see what I should have seen for myself. I love you and all, Peter.’
His face was a study in uncertainty now. ‘You’re not just saying that to save me thinking I’ve made a fool of myself?’
‘We’ve both been fools, but Chae must have guessed how the wind was blowing. He said they wouldn’t mind if you got wed again.’
‘Thank goodness! I thought they’d be annoyed, that’s why I waited so long before I said anything. Oh, Jenny, I can’t believe this.’
‘Is that why you haven’t kissed me yet?’ she smiled.
He took her face in his hands, his lips hesitant at first, as if he were doubtful of her, but her eager response told him there was nothing to worry about.
After a few moments, she drew away with a sigh. ‘I’d better make one thing clear, Peter. I’ll never stop loving Mick, but not in the same way as I used to.’
‘I didn’t expect you to stop loving him, Jenny, and we’ve other things to talk over, Elsie for one, but not now. Now’s for us, for showing how much we love each other. If you want to wait a while before you marry me, I’ll understand, but we can discuss that another time, as well.’ His mouth came down tenderly on hers again.
Jenny broached the subject of Elsie three days later. ‘I wasn’t going to tell you, Peter, but I don’t want any secrets between us and I can’t keep it to myself any longer.’
She looked so serious that Peter said apprehensively, ‘What d’you want to say, my darling?’
‘Elsie asked to see me before she died. I was taken to the hospital and … she confessed something to me.’
‘If it’s about her making Lizann run away, she told me herself.’
‘That was one of the things, but there was more.’
‘And she said she told Hannah long before the midwife let it out.’
‘More than that,’ Jenny whispered, unable to look at him now. ‘She said she smothered Hannah with a pillow.’
‘Oh Jenny,’ Peter groaned. ‘Don’t look so guilty at telling me. I knew that and all … well, I was nearly sure, and like you I kept it to myself. I couldn’t hurt Mick by telling him, and I couldn’t report her to the police. They’d have locked her up, maybe hanged her, and with me in the Navy, my kids would’ve been left with nobody.’ He gave a harsh laugh. ‘They were left with nobody at the end, anyway.’
‘They’d their grandma and granda, and that’s another thing I meant to speak to you about. I’m willing to take them when we’re married, if the Slaters let them go. If they argue about it, you’ll have to remind them they’re your children.’
‘Jenny my dearest, much as I love my kids, I can’t expect you to take them on. They’d drive you up the wall if you had them all the time.’
‘They’re not that bad, and the Slaters manage to put up with them.’
He leaned back with a satisfied smile. ‘You know this, Jenny, you’re a woman in a million, and I’m happier now than I’ve ever been in my life.’
‘I’m an ordinary woman, Peter, don’t put me on a pedestal. The boys are bound to squabble, and maybe the girls, but I’ll try not to make any more of my two …’
‘I know you won’t make any difference between them.’ He looked at her and grinned, his eyes twinkling. ‘Yours, mine … and ours, come time?’
Colouring, she smiled. ‘They’ll all be ours. The thing is, we’ll have to look for a bigger house before we fix a date for the wedding.’
‘You’re not getting cold feet, are you?’
‘No, I’m just being practical. We’d better go to bed now, though, or we won’t feel like getting up in the morning.’
Going upstairs, she thought that it shouldn’t be long until they were sharing the same bed, and she wondered if he was thinking the same. The new life ahead of them would not be a bed of roses, with five children to feed and clothe and keep in order, but surely their love was strong enough to overcome anything.
On the following night Peter was a little late in coming home. ‘I went to tell the Slaters we’re getting married, and when I said we wanted my kids with us, Nell went on her high horse.’
‘Oh,’ Jenny exclaimed in dismay. ‘Will she not give them up?’
‘She said I’d been damned glad of her looking after them for so long, but good old Chae reminded her she wasn’t getting any younger and they were always getting older, and she climbed down.’
‘Are Pattie and Tommy going to be staying with us?’
The adults had forgotten that Georgie would be listening, and Jenny was relieved when Peter sat down and drew the boy beside him. ‘Your mum and I are getting married, and we’ll all be one big, happy family. Will you like that?’
‘Can me and Pattie and Tommy all sleep in the same room?’
‘If that’s what you want. They’ve always slept together, so they won’t mind sharing.’
Quiet little Lizann had also been taking everything in. ‘What about me? If you’re sleeping with Peter, Mummy, can Norma come in with me?’
Jenny turned to Peter with a laugh. ‘They’ve sorted everything out between them, so as soon as the minister can manage …’
Immediately he arrived, Robbie Chapman could sense that something had changed. Jenny’s eyes were absolutely starry and Peter couldn’t keep his off her. About to voice his pleasure, he glanced at his sister who, by only the merest descent of her brows, made him think better of it.
When the visitors were seated, Peter drew Jenny towards him and put an arm round her waist. His eyes on Robbie, he made his announcement. ‘I’ve asked this beautiful young lady to marry me, and she’s said yes.’
‘Well, well!’ Robbie boomed. ‘What a surprise!’
‘Never heed him,’ Pearl chuckled. ‘He’s been waiting for it.’
‘You guessed?’ Jenny gasped.
‘I wondered how long it would take. Oh my dear, dear girl, I’m truly happy for you.’ Standing up, he gave her a quick hug and then turned to Peter. ‘As for you, young fella-me-lad, see you look after her properly … but I don’t suppose I need to tell you that.’
Getting to her feet too, Pearl gave her brother a small push. ‘Would you stop hogging the stage?’ When he stood aside, she put her arms round both young people. ‘Do the bairns know? All of them?’
Lizann nodded and Peter said, ‘They’ve got the sleeping arrangements worked out already, and I think we’ll all fit in here nicely … for a year or so, anyway, unless we start fighting.’
Hearing this as she came in from playing on the shore, little Lizann said, ‘Norma and me won’t fight, Grandma Pearl.’
She smiled fondly. ‘I’m sure you won’t, my wee lamb; it’s the boys that’ll have to behave themselves.’
The wedding was, literally, very quiet … most of the time. The Reverend Lawrie had agreed to perform the ceremony in the house, and the children seemed to be overawed by his presence, even the boys. Robbie and Pearl were best man and matron of honour, the only other guests were Chae and Nell Slater – whom Jenny had insisted on inviting although Peter had not been altogether easy about it – and Jake and Babsie Berry – whom no one thought of not inviting – and merriment was the order of the day. As Mr Lawrie was to say to his sister when he went home, ‘Remembering that Jenny and Peter had both been afflicted by several tragedies in their lives, it did my heart good to see how happy they were today … how happy they all were. There’s a resilience in the fishing community that we ordinary mortals would be wise to strive to emulate.’
The three boys did get a bit noisy once it was past their normal bedtime, and Mrs Slater eventually whispered to Jenny, ‘I’d better take our lot home before they get out of hand. But before we go, I
want to thank you for what you’ve done for Peter. I never saw him like this before, so proud … and his love for you’s shining out of his face for everybody to see. I’m really delighted for him.’
Jenny understood the meaning behind this. Mrs Slater must have known that Peter hadn’t loved Elsie and couldn’t have been proud of her, and she was, in her own way, giving her blessing on his second marriage. ‘He did a lot for me, and all,’ she murmured, ‘and I love him just as much.’
The three Tait children were to be spending another night with their grandparents, and Robbie and Pearl, who lived not far from the Slaters, said they might as well all go along the road together. Babsie made Georgie go upstairs for the bag with his and Lizann’s night clothes, because they were to sleep at the Berrys’ house for this one night … and at long last, the newly-weds were alone.
Peter was strangely silent as he turned from the door and went to sit by the fire, and Jenny, who had expected him to take her in his arms as soon as he had the chance, took the seat at the opposite side, trying to hide her disappointment. Presently she asked, ‘What’s the matter?’
‘I can’t help thinking this is all wrong,’ he mumbled. ‘I can’t stop thinking about Mick. I can’t … touch you … you’re his wife.’
‘No, Peter, I’ve been his widow for quite a while now, and Mr Lawrie made me your wife this afternoon.’
‘But what would Mick think about it?’
Standing up, she crossed to sit on the arm of his chair. ‘I couldn’t sleep last night for worrying about that myself, but when you put the ring on my finger, a calmness came over me. I’m sure Mick was letting me know he approves.’ She slipped an arm round Peter’s shoulder. ‘But he wouldn’t want us to spoil our wedding night thinking about him.’
He turned towards her now, and after only a few kisses, pulled her to her feet and took her through to their bed-room, where a new double bed – Robbie’s wedding gift – was waiting to be tested.
Waiting for the kettle to boil for a last cup of tea one night a few weeks later, Pearl could see by her brother’s face that he was up to something. ‘What are you hatching up now?’ she asked, sharply.
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