lachrymal caruncle, 169
lactose intolerance, 179
laughter, 195
resulting in incontinence, 66
laxatives, 45
leukemia, 37, 68, 129
Levitt, Michael D., 177-80
Lhermitte’s peduncular hallucinosis, 93-94
Lileks, James, 92, 118, 119n
lipstick on one’s teeth, 70-71
liptospirosis (Weils disease), 81
liver disease, 65, 69, 71, 72, 106, 126, 129, 185-97
biopsy for, 189-90
cirrhosis, 69, 74, 193
liver transplants, 193-94
Lockhart-Mummery, J. P., 174n
loiasis, 166
Lou Gehrig’s disease (amyotrophic lateral sclerosis), 91n
lungs, 65, 68, 70, 72, 106, 108, 147
Lupus, Peter, 99
lupus enthematosus, 26, 129, 143, 154
Lyme disease, 96-97
macular degeneration, 165, 166
mad cow disease, 95-96
magnesium, dietary, 52
malaise, 71
“Management of Colorectal Foreign Bodies” (Sackier), 174
Marchiafava-Bignami disease, 113
Markle sign, 127
maroon stools, 177
marshmallow enema, 44
medical insurance, 32, 47-48, 133
megacolon, 177
melanomas, 120
Mendelson, Steven T., 194-96
Meniere’s disease, 67
meningitis, 79, 167
Miami Herald, 13-17
micturition syncope, 122n
Minds That Came Back (Alvarez), 32
mnemonic devices, medical, 98n
moles, 26
as malignant melanomas, 120
monsters, fetal, 157
Mortimer, John, 171n
Mosby Guide to Physical Examination, The (Seidel et al.), 126-27
Mueller’s sign, 24
multiple sclerosis, 60, 66, 67, 86, 89, 97, 154
musculoskeletal problems, 138-146
behavioral signs of, 141-42
diagnosis of, 140-43, 144-46
fibromyalgia, 143-46
myasthenia gravis, 108, 166
mycosis fungoides, 69
Mylar pantaloons, 178
myxoma, 122
nasopharyngeal angiofibroma, 74
nausea, 71-72
nearsightedness, 161-63, 164
nephritic gingivitis, 72
neurology, 72, 91-101
diagnostic tests in, 92, 97-98
New England Journal of Medicine, 121, 178
New York Times, 49, 170n
nitrous oxide, meaning of life revealed by, 55-56
noncardiac chest pain, 175
nonulcer dyspepsia, 175
Norway, 41-42
nose, 66, 74, 165
nosebleeds, 73-74
nutrition, 52, 131, 186
asparagus in, 54
cannibalism in, 95
deadliness of fruits and vegetables in, 45-46
eggshells in, 45
squirrel brains in, 96
Obstetrical Journal of Great Britain and Ireland, 45
o’clock, as term, 55n
onchocerciasis (river blindness), 166
organ donors, 193-94
orgasm, headache at, 82
Orkin, Bruce, 172-74, 176
osteosarcoma, 140
Paget’s disease, 140
palliative treatment, 85, 89
Pancake, John, 168
pancreas, 65, 68, 112, 130, 147, 177, 183-85
Papua New Guinea, 95
paralysis, 78, 94-95
parasitic diseases, 79, 175
Pasteur, Louis, 48
patellar reflex, 98
Pemberton’s sign, 108-9
pemphigus vulgaris, 67-68
pencil-thin stools, 176
penis, 69n, 119, 149
broken chicken bone in, 173
farting through, 122n
pericarditis, 110
peripheral neuropathies, 96-98
diagnostic tests for, 97-98
peritonitis, 126, 127, 129, 154
Perot, Ross, 147
personality patterns, 39-40
pheochromocytoma, 121-22
pica, 100
pickles, deadliness of, 46
pimples, 53, 119
pineal gland, 80
pins and needles, 68
placebo effect, 39
pneumaturia, 122n
poisoning, 72, 97, 175
ptomaine, 131
polycythemia rubra vera, 80, 129
potato bazookas, 159-60
precocious puberty, 89
pregnancy, 44, 45, 149-57
amniocentesis and, 185
birthing process of, 151-52
bodily changes during, 153-54
diseases complicated by, 154-56
fetal monsters produced by, 157
questions about, 156-57
presbyopia, 168
press coverage, 117, 170
of bad medical news, 49-53
prions, 65
Prokop, James, 91-92
proptosis, 165
Proust, Marcel, 34-35
psychiatric disorders, 100
psychotherapy, 100, 128n
ptomaine poisoning, 131
pulse deficit, 106
radial keratotomy, 162-63
Reder, Anthony, 65-66, 94
reduplicative paramnesia, 93
referred pain, 126, 128-31
Reiter’s syndrome, 166
retinitis, 164
ringing in the ears, 67
Rodale, J. I., ironic death of, 58n
Roosevelt, Franklin, 77
Rorschach tests, 100-101
Sackier, Jonathan, 173, 174
saddle nose, 66
Schadenfreude, 188
schwannoma, 67
scientific studies, 147-48
anecdotal evidence vs., 147, 148
of consciousness after decapitation, 99
proliferation of, 48-49
of WWI soldiers with jaw pain, 58
seasonal affective disorder, 29n
Sedgwick, John, 77
seizures, 69, 78
sexuality, 82, 127n
anal autoeroticism in, 172-74
eye problems caused by, 183-84
indiscriminate, 100
Shaw, George Bernard, 41
Shelley, Percy Bysshe, 33
Showalter, Elaine, 29n
Simons, Howard, 182-85
Sjogren’s syndrome, 70-71
skin, 60, 68-69, 97-98
sleep disorders, 74-75
insomnia, 65-66
smell, sense of, 54n
hallucinations of, 92-93
Smith, Mark, 94-95
Smith, Roy Bruce, 52
smoking, 92, 147-48
snoring, 74-75
snorting out food, 72
Sound Princess, 171
soy, ill effects of, 52
spatial disorientation, 93
spleen, ruptured, 126, 128-29
spongiform brain, 95-96
Stark, Karen, 102-3, 105
stereognosis, 92
Stevens-Johnson syndrome (erythema multiforme), 71
stiff neck, 76
stools, appearance of, 176-77
strokes, 35, 64, 77, 78, 79, 92-95, 99, 108, 147, 154
“Studies of a Flatulent Patient” (Levitt), 178
suicide, 35, 191
superstitious behavior, 48n
sweating, 37, 60
symmetry test, 118
syphilis, 86, 167
systemic sclerosis, 24
tapeworms, 79
Teasdale, Sara, 35
teeth, 49, 55-56, 72, 75-76
lipstick on, 70
loose, 58
temporomandibular joint syndrome, test for, 24
teratoma, 122
testicles, 132, 149
epididymis in, 119
&n
bsp; swollen, 33
tetanus, 76
cold water cure for, 45
thinking, pathological, 100
thumbs, 104, 105
green, 121
thyroid disease, 78, 108, 155, 165
Tinel test, 24
tinnitus, 67
tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon, 71
toes, proposed names for, 73n
toilet paper squares, 172
toothache, 75-76
tranquillity, 45
transplants, organ, 109, 193-94
Trendelenburg’s sign, 143
tumors, 59, 69, 70, 74, 116-23, 140, 155, 165, 175, 185
diagnosis of, 120
hiccups and, 64, 65
“insidious,” 75-76
normal lumps vs., 118-19
symmetry test for, 118 see also brain tumors; cancer
two-point-discrimination tests, 97
ulcerative colitis, 179-80
ulcers, 60, 126, 128n, 129, 176
uncinate fits, 92-93
urination, 44
fainting during, 122n
insufficient, 113
overwhelming anxiety during, 122
urine, 79, 81
asparagus in smell of, 54
blue, 59
cola-colored, 129
Urised, 59
uvula, 24, 98-99, 169
uvulopalatopharyngoplasty, 75
venereal disease, 33
Venn diagrams, 39-40
Viagra, as killer, 49-50
volvulus, 130
Waldenström’s macroglobulinemia, 74
Washington Post, 49, 170, 182-83, 194
water intoxication, 113
Weekly World News, 52-53
Wegener’s granulomatosis, 66
Weil’s disease (leptospirosis), 81
Wernicke-Korsakoff syndrome, 113
Whipple’s disease, 175, 176
white stools, 176-77
Wilhelmsen, Ingvard, 41-42
Wolfe, Martin, 38
women, 64, 78-79, 119, 127, 132n, 139-39, 171
big fat vs. small thin, 48
eye shadow on, 168
historical treatments for, 44-45
Japanese, constipation of, 170-71
middle-aged, diseases of, 69, 70-71
smaller brains of, 45 see also pregnancy
Woodstock, 188n
Woodward, Bob, 179, 182
words on the tip of one’s tongue, 71
World War I, soldiers with jaw pain in, 58
worms, 79, 166, 176
xiphoid process, 119
X-ray Specs, 168-69
yawning, 73
Zangara, Giuseppe, 131
Zappa, Frank, 171-72
Zimmerman, Lorenz, 159
About the Author
Gene Weingarten (1951- ) has been a writer and editor at The Washington Post since 1990. Before that he was a reporter for the Detroit Free Press, an editor at the National Law Journal, and the editor of The Miami Herald’s Tropic magazine, which he helped lead to two Pulitzer Prizes. In 1988 he was a Nieman Fellow at Harvard University. This is his first book.
The Hypochondriac's Guide to Life. and Death. Page 19