by Laney Smith
“If that’s true, forgive him. If that’s true, sooner or later, the truth will catch up to them. When it does, he’s going to need you.”
Ryan scoffed as he shook his head and drove his hands against his hips. “For the love of God, I should start betting, and cheating, and lying, and stealing. I pay the consequences as though I am. I must be a real piece of shit. I’m tired of fighting you all, to be honest. You want me to be some horn dog that knocked up my brother’s wife, then fine. I screwed her brains out. I made her scream. We knocked the shit off the walls. After that, I rushed off to bet against my team. Then, I lost the fucking game so I could win my bet,” Ryan blasted, sarcastically, with a wicked grin. “I’m that cruel and evil,” he laughed, rubbing his hands together.
“Ryan, that’s enough,” he heard his father’s stern voice from behind him.
“Dad, you have no idea how enough it really is. If you’ll both excuse me, I’m feeling a little drained.”
“You don’t get to be mad at us for the fact that your gambling cost you your career and your reputation,” George barked.
“Ya know what? I didn’t bet. I had quit gambling, all together. No one wants to hear that. No one wants to hear that I didn’t screw Sasha. You all need a villain? Fine. I’ll do it. Dammit! I don’t even know why I came back here,” Ryan spouted.
“Because where else in the hell were you going to go?”
George’s rhetorical question annoyed him.
“I had options, Dad. I could’ve gone anywhere. I don’t fault you for this one. This one was my fuck up. I shouldn’t have come back here.”
George stared into Ryan’s eyes as he motioned with his hand. “There’s the door.”
“George, stop it!” Frannie blasted.
“Sleep. I just need to sleep,” Ryan sighed.
When Ryan got into his room, he closed the door and sat on the edge of his bed. He stared into nothingness as he relived the conversation in his parent’s living room. What had he done that warranted any of the hell he felt he was living? He tried to remember when things went wrong. Was it the incident with Sasha? Was it with that first drunken bet? Maybe it was the first time he threw a game for the sake of winning the prize money. If only he could have those moments back. If only he could have a re-do. If only he hadn’t sunk his whole heart into the game, maybe he’d have some pretty, sweet, loving companion cuddling her body against his, making everything OK. He took out his phone and pulled up Scottie’s number. He was sure he’d regret this, too. However, he called her anyway.
“Your phone does make outgoing calls,” she answered.
“Hey!” he sighed.
“Are you alright?” Scottie asked with concern in her voice.
Ryan clicked his tongue against his teeth. “Yeah. I just . . . kinda wanted to hear your voice, I guess.”
“You sound unhappy. Is everything OK? Do you need me to make you smile?”
“No,” Ryan answered flatly. “I just wanted to tell you I was thinking about you before I went to sleep. I hope you have sweet dreams.”
“That’s sweet of you,” she purred. “I’ll have to do something extra special for you for that.”
“Ya know, I don’t just want . . .” he stopped himself, realizing his tone was defensive. He was tired of being defensive. “Maybe I want to do things for you, too. Did you ever think of that?” Better. That felt more playful and fun, fake as it was.
“You can do anything to me that you want,” she flirted. “Any-thing!”
Ryan let out an obligatory chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind. I’ll let you get to sleep. I just wanted to tell you good night.”
“Good night. I’m going to dream about you.”
“Work me good, pretty baby,” he teased.
“Mmm! You’re so damn sexy,” she said through her clenched teeth.
“Good night!”
“See you tomorrow?”
“Probably.”
After he hung up, he fell back on his bed, exhaling in disgust. He started at the ceiling. He thought about Nathan insisting on running around the room before he would lie down. Ryan felt his smile cramping his cheeks. Then, he thought about Corlay’s pretty smile and the way her whole face was involved when she smiled. He held his phone in front of his face and scrolled for Corlay’s number. Just before he pressed the call button, he stopped and stared at her name.
Nah! She doesn’t need this.
He tossed his phone to his nightstand and decided to hurry up and sleep so he could wake up and go see the person that made him the happiest; little Nathan. As he drifted off to sleep, Ryan thought about how badly he wanted to tell Corlay that she was not a mushroom amongst roses. She was so much more than a rose. He didn’t want to make things weird or to jeopardize his time with Nathan. But, there was something about her that was so different from anyone else in his world. There was a realness about her. She wasn’t afraid to be honest and to forgive herself for any of her flaws. She wasn’t made up – plastered with cosmetics and buried beneath designer outfits. She was just naturally pretty. Something about that was so beautiful to Ryan. He thought her eyes were the most beautiful shade of blue of any he had ever seen. Maybe it was the truth in them. He was sure many women had spent hundreds of dollars trying to buy the perfect shade of pink lips that Corlay had been naturally blessed with. He loved the soft, delicate wisps of brown hair that fell along her face.
As Ryan’s dreams took over, the vision of Corlay standing along a rocky coastline flashed in his head. She stood on a boulder, hugging her arms around herself, staring out at the ocean waves as they rolled toward the shore. The clouds were pastel shades of pink and yellow as the sun began to set. The air was foggy from the mist of the ocean spray. She turned and smiled at him. She held her hand out, curling her fingers, encouraging him to join her on the boulder. She stood in a long, free flowing soft blue skirt and a pink sweater. The wisps of hair floated on the breeze as he approached her. He put his arms around her waist, hugging her to him; her back to his chest, as the two swayed and watched the sunset. It seemed so real. He could smell the scent of cherry blossoms and vanilla as he held her to him.
It didn’t seem like it took but thirty seconds before the sun came barging through Ryan’s window. He wasn’t ready to leave Corlay and the sunset. He could still, almost, smell her as the dream faded and reality filled its place. While he hated that the dream was over, he was excited to hurry and get ready to go spend time with Nathan. If he hurried, he would get more time with Corlay before she had to leave for work. That dream had left happy, warm feelings within him.
What the hell am I doing? He thought to himself.
It didn’t matter that he didn’t think about the question beyond asking it. He hurried through his shower and got ready as quickly as he could. He called Corlay on his way to her house.
“Hello?’ she answered, sounding half asleep.
“Good morning. I wanted to call and let you know I’m on my way. So, if you want to get in the shower, now would be a good time,” he flirted.
Corlay laughed, sleepily into the phone. “It’s been a long night. Nathan was sick all night.”
“Oh, no! Is he OK?”
“He had a fever all night. I think I got it down, for now. I’m not sure I should go to work.”
“What can I do?” Ryan asked with sincerity.
“I can’t ask you for anything else. I think I’ll just stay with him, today. I don’t want you to risk getting sick, too. I’m already exposed. Two of us being sick is enough.”
“Oh, so you’re gonna leave me out?” Ryan joked. “I feel neglected. What can I do, Corlay? Let me do something.”
“No, Ryan. Really. I don’t want you being sick, too.”
“I’ve been around him in the last twenty-four hours. If he’s contagious, I’m sunk, anyway. Now, what do you want for breakfast?”
“A hug,” Corlay whined. “I’m kidding. I’m not, but I am. I’ll settle for oatmeal, if you know of a place
with oatmeal.”
“Heart smart,” he joked. “Alright. Oatmeal. You got it. Does my buddy want anything?”
“Some kind of fruit,” she answered, with nervousness in her voice.
“Alright. It’s gonna be OK. We got this. Relax.”
Forty-five minutes later, Ryan softly knocked on the door of the Brock residence. When Corlay opened the door, she looked exhausted. Her delicate wisps that framed her face seemed to have withstood the battle of whatever wars she had fought through the night. He smiled sweetly as he stepped through the door.
“You doing alright?” he asked.
She flashed him a sad expression and Ryan tossed the paper bag in his hand onto the sofa and held his arms out to her. He smiled sweetly and motioned with his head, encouraging her to accept his offer.
“Come on. They didn’t have hugs on the menu, so you’ll just have to accept this one,” he played.
Though he expected resistance, there wasn’t any. Corlay stepped toward him, folded her arms to her chest and fell into his open arms. He curled his arms around her. At first, it was awkward – two bodies, stiff, resisting the opposing, intruding existence. Then, the mood softened and it was as though their souls were stitching an invisible seam between them. The longer they stood there, the more woven together it seemed they were becoming.
“Hey! What’re you doing?” Nathan’s nasally voice demanded.
Ryan turned and looked behind him, still holding Corlay in his embrace. “Good morning. How are you feeling?”
“Leave my mom alone, Ryan.”
“Uh…OK.” Ryan said as he pressed his lips together and nodded. He released Corlay, looking at her, questioningly.
“He was giving me a hug because we’re worried about you,” Corlay offered.
“He’s only my friend, Mom. Ryan, I don’t want you to be friends with my mom.”
Ryan chuckled as he swiped his tongue across his lower lip and glanced at Corlay. “See? I told you about that tight ship.”
“Nathan, you be nice. Ryan’s our friend. He’s just trying to help.”
“Ryan’s my friend.”
“I can’t be friends with both of you?” Ryan asked.
Nathan glared at him. “No!”
“You are cranky, my friend.”
“If you’re going to be friends with my mom, instead of me, then I will hate you.”
“Nathan!” Corlay snapped.
Ryan reached for her arm and shook his head. “It’s OK,” he muttered. “Can we talk about this when you’re feeling better?” Ryan asked.
“Ugh!” Nathan growled as he stomped toward the sofa and threw himself onto the cushions. He folded his arms across his chest and poked his lip out in a pouting fashion.
Ryan sighed and cleared his throat. “Wow!
Now, I need a hug, too,” he chuckled. “All night? You went through this attitude all, night?”
“He’s being a lot nicer, now, just because
you’re here,” she joked.
“Wow!” Ryan said, drawing the word out. He
arched an eyebrow at her and smiled as he started toward the sofa. “Do you feel like playing video games, today? Or do you just want to rest?”
“Ryan, I mean it. If you just want to be my friend because you want my mom to be your girlfriend, then I don’t want you here. Anyways, you already have a mean, ugly girlfriend. You don’t need any more girlfriends.”
Ryan looked at the boy with an indignant expression. “Are we friends?”
Nathan narrowed his eyes, glaring through his squint. “Maybe.”
“Woo, kid,” Ryan sighed. “You’re ready to fight like a grown man, but you’re little. You need to rest.”
“Do you want to be the dad of my mom’s baby?”
Ryan couldn’t help himself. He busted out laughing as his tongue traced the tops of his back teeth. He drew his balled fist in front of his mouth as he flashed a pleading, nervous look at Corlay.
“Do you . . . You know how he thinks that happens, right?” Ryan defensively asked. “I didn’t . . . I had no . . . I didn’t do it,” he stuttered, shrinking his shoulders up.
“Ryan,” Corlay whined as her head dropped back. “What are you teaching him?”
“Oh, no! Ryan had nothing to do with the buffet equals baby lesson. Nuh-uh! I . . . no! That wasn’t me.”
Corlay laughed as she gave Ryan a look of warning.
“I’m so serious! I didn’t . . . You gotta believe me,” he chuckled, holding his hands up. “I would’ve taught him the right way,” he insisted, chuckling as he finished his declaration, wagging his finger. “So . . . no! Nuh-uh! It wasn’t me.”
In a quiet whisper, where only Ryan could hear her, Corlay said, “I will shred your parts if you teach him that.”
Ryan smiled a flirty smile. “I’m not sure if I’m in love with you, or scared to death of you, right now.”
“You’d be smart to be afraid.”
“Alright!” he agreed. “I’ll be afraid.”
“You’re crazy!” she smiled.
“Hey, we can’t be friends,” he played.
“You guys are so mean,” Nathan spouted.
Snatching his little blanket, Nathan started for the stairs.
“Hey! Where’re you going?” Ryan asked.
“I don’t even like you anymore.”
Ryan followed Nathan as he trudged up the stairs. “That would make me really sad.”
“I don’t care, Ryan. I just want you to go away.”
“You want me to go home?”
“Yes!” the boy shot back.
“Can I come back tomorrow?”
“Don’t come back! Ever! Until I call you,” Nathan spouted.
“OK,” Ryan agreed. “I’ll miss you.”
“You’re not being a very good friend. You just want to talk to my mom.”
Ryan froze on the stairs and watched Nathan continue on his journey to the top. He turned and looked down at Corlay. Nathan’s mother shook her head, apologetically.
“You know he doesn’t mean that.”
“He’s not feeling so good. Maybe I should give him a little space, today.”
Ryan slowly descended the stairs, his eyes locked on Corlay’s. “Wanna steal that kiss, now?” he flirted.
Corlay smiled as a daring look spread across her face. “Nah. You couldn’t handle it.”
Ryan stopped, mid-stride. Tell her she’s not a mushroom amongst roses. He ignored his thoughts, smiling his dimply grin.
“You’re probably right.”
She stood at the bottom of the stairs, refusing to move out of his way. As if cued by some silent acceptance of her challenge, Ryan slid his hand around her waist and spun her as he stepped around her, staring into her eyes through the entire gesture.
“Are you leaving?” she softly inquired.
He arched an eyebrow. “It wouldn’t take much, you know that?”
“What?”
“Ignore me,” he smiled and pressed his lips together. As he stood with his arm around her waist, his phone pinged. “Saved by the bell.”
“Did I need to be saved?”
“Possibly,” Ryan answered, preoccupied as he looked at his screen. There was an address Scottie had texted to him. He wasn’t in the mood to entertain her antics. He rolled his eyes and breathed a heavy sigh.
“Do you need me?”
Corlay seemed disappointed. “No. Um, no, not really, I guess. Go. We shouldn’t hold you up. Do whatever you need to do.”
“I need to get out of my parent’s house while we’re still on speaking terms. I gotta find a house.”
“Oh, yeah! Sure,” Corlay nodded, nervously.
Ryan stepped closer to her, holding his arms out, offering a hug. As Corlay fell into him again, he wrapped his arms around her. He smiled down at her.
A flirty smirk crossed his face. “You smell so damn good.”
“So do you,” she offered.
“Mmm . . . Sorry! I’m not w
earing anything. Nice try,” his soft, velvety voice breathed.
“Maybe I like the way you smell, even without anything. So, there,” she returned.
He smiled. “I gotta get out of here before Nathan beats my face in.”
“Yeah. You probably better save me from his fury,” she smiled.
Ryan squinted his eyes at her as he deeply inhaled and exhaled through his nose. “Yeah! Nathan’s my buddy. We can’t make him mad.”
He hugged her to him. This time it was more of a possessive hug, rather than a comforting hug. His touch made Corlay wish he wasn’t preparing to leave her. She didn’t want to disappoint Nathan. However, she couldn’t just stop feeling what she felt. Most of the things she said seemed to be on auto-pilot and were out of her mouth before she realized what she was thinking, let alone what she was saying.
“Will you call me later and let me know how he’s doing?” Ryan asked.
“Will we see you tomorrow?”
“You’ll see me anytime you want,” he flirted.
“You’re a tease.”
“Oh, no I’m not,” he argued with sincerity. “Call me when he goes to bed and I’ll show you.”
“Don’t mess with my head,” Corlay pleaded.
Ryan’s expression turned serious. “OK,” he whispered.
“Nathan,” she sighed.
“He doesn’t have to know.” He wagged his eyebrows. “Hiding it might be fun.”
“I haven’t had sex . . . Forget it. That’s too much,” she said, trying to squint her eyes tight enough to erase the awkwardness.
Ryan smiled. “I see where Nathan gets his openness. That’s one of my favorite things about him.”
“I’m so terrified of you.”
Ryan pursed his lips and nodded his head. “I’m not trying to be a bad thing for either of you, if that wins me any points.”