by Pam Jernigan
She looked up from the file, to stare into his wide brown eyes. The damage done to the world, to her family, to Leo… Fury overwhelmed her, words deserted her. His expression changed to mirror her anger.
There was a groan from behind Leo, and he turned to check on his cage-mates. They stood, stumbled, and staggered around the pen. Leo looked back at her, his anger replaced by concern. “Karen,” he said, reaching out to touch her hand. “Calm.”
“What? How can I be calm?”
He didn’t answer, just closed his eyes, holding her hand, looking like he was concentrating. She hesitated to interrupt him, but she was still fuming. Behind him, the other Mindless became more active, shuffling around, making noises, walking into sides of the cage. She expected some to crash into Leo, but they kept missing him.
His eyes flew open. “Guard!”
Her head jerked towards the outside, and she saw someone approaching. Her first instinct was to run, but Leo was still holding her hand the guard was way too close. At that angle he’d notice her if she dashed for the wall. There was nowhere she could hide.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
“Get down,” Karen told Leo, and pulled him down with her to lay on the floor, on opposite sides of the bars. He held tight, never releasing his grip on her hand. Without being directed, he turned to one side, facing her. There. Leo’s larger frame should totally obscure hers, from an outside perspective, especially considering the low lighting. As long as nobody came into the lab itself, she should be fine. She scooted closer to the bars, pillowed her head on one hand, and waited, her anger forgotten.
The other Mindless crashed around, moaning and turning. Over the din, on the other side of the cage, she could hear the guard radioing in and requesting backup with tranquilizer guns. “They’re going nuts over here!”
Karen looked at Leo, studying him in the low light. He’d closed his eyes, but he wasn’t relaxed. She, on the other hand, felt eerily calm. She probably ought to worry about that, but it would keep. Leo had a kind of narrow face, she had noticed before, with sharply etched features. Imagine if he smiled… she sighed wistfully. Thick dark hair, dark eyebrows, long eyelashes.
For the first time, it registered that he was actually touching her, holding her hand. How had that happened? And why hadn’t she freaked? At this very moment, she was only inches away from him, and the thing that bothered her most was that the floor was hard. This would be much more comfortable on some soft surface. A bed would be nice, her brain supplied, unasked. Without cage bars between them. Shut up, brain.
Sharp retorts sounded, and the rampaging Mindless began to drop in their tracks. She hoped the guards didn’t shoot Leo; if he went out, he might roll flat and reveal her. But he was already unmoving on the floor; why would they bother? Once again, though, he was between her and gunfire. She smiled, just a little.
The noises died down. Nobody left to groan meant nobody left to shoot, but the guards hung around, exchanging theories as to what had happened. She’d like to know that, too, come to think of it. Good thing she had an inside source.
Leo opened his eyes, the tension leaching out of his posture.
She whispered, “Hi.”
He looked amused, without quite smiling. “Hi.”
“Guards are still there,” she said quietly. “Better whisper. What just happened?”
“Tell you later,” he promised. “Comp…licated.”
“Okay.” A fragment of earlier popped into her head. “You know you can’t read?”
He nodded, a bare movement of his head.
“But you know what it is, right?”
“Yeah. Think I used to.”
“I’m pretty sure you must have,” she said, hating what had been done to him. What had he been like? Would he have been this sweet, before? Or was this a side-effect, too: the paring away of everything non-essential, leaving no room for conceit or arrogance?
“Library… felt important. Didn’t know why, then.”
“Libraries are important,” she agreed, tension easing as she heard the guards’ voices dwindle. “That’s why we went there. Searching for books, scientific journals. Information, research. Borsa’s not the only one looking for a cure. But since the Internet broke, we’re stuck with hard copies.”
“When I saw you,” he began slowly. “What were you thinking?”
“That I was going to die? Thanks, by the way. Other than that…” She tried to recall. “Sort of saying goodbye to Katrina. Except she was long gone by then.”
“She left?”
“I told her to. I stayed behind to keep you guys from following her. It was the only way to protect her.”
“Why? Why protect?” He looked honestly puzzled.
She frowned. She’d thought he understood that part. “Because she’s my sister.”
“You felt…” he started, then shrugged his eyebrows, his eyes intent. “What did you feel?”
Then again, she shouldn’t assume too much. “For my sister? Um, love.”
“Love,” he echoed softly, looking satisfied. “Not fear… is love.”
She wasn’t sure what to make of that. “Yeah, it’s a pretty powerful emotion.”
“Love means… protect?”
“Among other things, yeah.”
He hesitated, looking unsure, then asked, “Protect… means love?”
For some reason that sounded like a very important question. She tried to stick to simple words. “Not exactly. Protect means… value. You protect what’s important.”
“What makes important?”
“Different things. It could be a person you love, like me and Katrina. Or it could be something useful.” He was watching her intently. What he was thinking? “Maybe… somebody who can’t protect themselves, somebody helpless, like a little kid. Like I was, in the library.” She paused, trying to work it out in her head. She’d never really thought about it before. “We ought to look out for each other, you know. Don’t just stand there and let someone else get hurt if there’s something you can do. Sometimes… you protect somebody who’s like you, against somebody who’s not like you.”
“You are not… like me,” he observed.
She tried to shrug, which was awkward when lying down on one side. “I’m not Mindless. But then, neither are you, really. Not anymore.” She smiled, a little. “You can also protect someone that you like.”
He relaxed a little, not quite smiling. “You… protect… me.”
“Yeah.” She snorted gently, just looking at him. “You protected me first. I think we’ve been taking turns.” For a few days, anyway. This wasn’t going to last; did he know that? “But sometimes, no matter how much you want to, you can’t protect. Stuff happens. We can’t keep each other safe for always.”
He nodded. Was it her imagination, or was he looking sad? Maybe she was projecting; she was teetering on the edge of sad, herself. Leo was… unique.
Definitely time to change the subject. “My neck’s getting sore. Are the guards gone?”
He closed his eyes for a second, then nodded.
She peeked over his shoulder to verify; nobody there. She sat up, and finally, Leo relinquished his grip on her hand. She felt oddly bereft. “I need to go put the file back… and then I guess I need to go get some sleep,” she said after a moment.
He nodded, studying her face intently. “Okay.”
She stepped backwards. She didn’t want to look away but had to turn around to navigate across the cluttered room.
“Good night, Karen.” He was getting more fluent all the time, she noticed. For the first time, she wondered why. Well, practice, obviously, but why had he even started talking to begin with?
“Night, Leo. Be careful.”
“You, too.”
Silently, she exited the lab. What had just happened there? Talking with Leo about love… the conversation had been fraught with meaning. What am I missing? And why does it seem important?
&
nbsp; #
Leo woke, which confused him. He rarely slept. Thinking hard, he worked out a theory. He’d used a lot of energy last night, shielding Karen, and afterward his body had demanded time to recover. He knew she didn’t understand what had happened but her anger had been the trigger for all the activity. Making her a target. He’d been able to do something. To mess up the broadcast so they couldn’t pinpoint the source. For that, he’d needed direct contact.
She’d allowed him to touch her. No flinching. Like it hadn’t even occurred to her what he was. Like it didn’t matter what he was.
He hadn’t been able to enjoy it as much as he’d have liked, since he’d been concentrating on diffusing her emotional output. But once the Mindless were unconscious, he hadn’t needed to worry about their reactions to her, so he’d stopped… whatever it was that he’d been doing.
Her face, so close, so trusting. She’d remembered what he was; they’d talked about the library, yet she hadn’t pulled away, hadn’t stopped him holding her hand. He’d finally learned what to call that glorious golden feeling she’d had, the not-fear. The love. There had been echoes of it as she’d talked about her sister. He wanted to feel it again. She had many emotions, but that one was the best.
He looked over at Jamal. The man was staring outside, studying the camp. His emotions were hard to read; not as muted like before, but more contained. Leo felt the impulse to protect. Protect… not someone that he liked; there hadn’t been anything there to like or dislike. But someone who couldn’t protect themselves. Protecting the helpless… that was good.
Was that why he’d protected Karen? It was hard to remember, to try to recapture what had been going on inside his head. Karen had been helpless, yes, but had that been enough to impel him to protect her? He didn’t think so. No, Karen was important. He valued her. He’d sensed it then, and the conviction had grown, talking to her. She was… changing him. For the better.
#
Karen woke reluctantly. What a weird dream.
Oh.
It wasn’t a dream. Or not all of it. She’d really discovered the source of the apocalypse. Worse yet, she’d held hands with a monster, having a quiet conversation while lying down next to him. She shook her head. I can’t even.
Rather than analyze, she went to breakfast. Pip was there; it must be early. “Hey, Karen!” Pip said, sounding way too cheerful. “Come sit with me.”
“Okay, thanks.” She seated herself, glad to have a distraction from her own confusion. “How’s the gardens?”
“Right as rain. How about yourself?”
“A lot better,” Karen said, smiling. Then she remembered where the healing formula had come from. Her smile slipped. “Not sleeping as much as I’d like.”
Pip looked sideways at her. “Figure out what to do about your ‘shouldn’t be a friend’ friend?”
Karen’s shoulders sagged. “No. I mean, okay… I kind of like him. As a friend.” She pushed food around her plate with a fork.
“Does he wanna be friends?”
She sighed. “Yeah, I think so. He hasn’t said anything, but…”
Pip took another bite before replying, “So what’s the worst that could happen?”
Karen half-laughed. “Bad things.” And why was she even considering it? She was leaving, he wasn’t. That was pretty straight-forward. “Never mind. I need to get back to the city.”
“Oh, yeah? I can probably help you out with that.”
“Really? I kind of got the impression that Curt’s been stalling me.”
“They’re not the only ones who drive outside the camp,” Pip assured her. “My truck’s old but tough as nails. I get any problems, I run over them and barely notice the bump. Mind you, the rear view mirror don’t work too good, but it’s not like I’m merging with traffic.”
Karen huffed a laugh at the image. “So, when can you take me?”
“I could manage right before lunch. It wouldn’t take too long to get you there and get back - assuming no more bridges fell down since the last time I headed up that direction. The fields need some tending this morning. I got some cargo to unload, too, but that can wait a bit. It’s a fine day for a ride in the country,” she finished, laughing.
Karen grinned. “Great idea.”
“Can you be ready by then?”
“Well, gee, I don’t know, I have so much luggage…” They shared a dry look and laughed.
“Meet by the gate at eleven,” Pip suggested. She stood, grabbing her breakfast dishes to take back to the kitchen.
Karen blinked. “Okay, awesome. Thanks.”
#
Well. That had been easy.
Maybe too easy? No, she shouldn’t be paranoid. Nobody except Leo knew she’d been file-surfing in the middle of the night. Nobody except him knew she’d discovered the source of the initial outbreak, or the original intent. And he wasn’t talking, so she just had to keep her mouth shut for a few more hours.
She also had to figure out how to say goodbye to Leo. She got rid of her breakfast dishes and wandered back towards her room, too distracted to volunteer for chores.
It all seemed so easy when she was talking to him, and so impossible when she was away. Monster, Karen. Focus. She ignored the little voice pointing out that he really wasn’t a monster, not anymore.
She groaned, looking upwards in frustrated resignation. If she left without telling him, the thought of him wondering and worrying would haunt her. Well, it shouldn’t be difficult. She’d just go outside the building, take a walk, and stop near the outer wall of the cage. Say a few words and go, with her conscience clear.
Karen picked up her knapsack and looked through it, making sure she had everything. She’d just carry it, the rest of the morning. Leave no bag behind. The bag would be easy to take along.
Could she really leave Leo behind, locked up, and destined for an autopsy? After she’d been protecting him? When they were kinda, sorta, if you turn your head and squint, friends?
She knew how to open the cage door. They’d mentioned it the other day, and she’d seen it. It was a fairly simple childproofed lock; it wouldn’t be difficult to… to do what, Karen? To open the cage and let Leo out? Pointless. He’d still be stuck in the camp. That wouldn’t end well. And with her ride leaving before lunch, she suddenly was short on time.
It was ridiculous that she was even worried about this. But… he had saved her life. At least once. Crazy as it seemed, she really did like him; he was sweet. And he’d helped her avoid getting caught every night. They were allies. Crap.
She wasn’t going to be able to leave him here, and she had no way to get him out.
She half-collapsed on the bed and sighed, staring at the ceiling. What on Earth could she do? The prospect of trying was jittering her nerves. Okay, busting him out of the cage shouldn’t be too hard. She’d have to be careful no one saw her, though. If the guards caught her releasing one of the Mindless, they would most certainly not be understanding about it.
She’d have to be careful that Leo was the only one freed; she didn’t want to be up close and personal with any of the others in that cage. Speaking of letting monsters out… Was she really comfortable with the idea of interacting with Leo without bars in the way? Okay, she was maybe a little nervous, just because, you know, Mindless… Don’t be ridiculous, Karen. He was all about protecting her - he certainly wasn’t going to hurt her.
Follow her around and stare at her, maybe, she thought with a small grin. But that didn’t seem like much of a problem at the moment, considering some of the other… considerations. One step at a time.
Step one, open the cage and let him out. Step two… had her stumped.
She needed intel. She sat up. The cage had to be fairly close to the main gate, right? They wouldn’t want to truck their captives all the way through camp before locking them up. Or latching them up, as the case may be. So, she needed to know how far, and what was in the way, and lines of sight,
and how to open the gate.
She felt a little better with that much of a plan. She abandoned the room without a backwards glance, her knapsack slung around her torso, right shoulder to left hip, trying to remember the layout of the camp. At least she was moving. Maybe she could work off some of this nervous energy while she scouted enemy territory. Freeing Leo might be impossible, but she had to try.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Leo sat, remembering last night, examining and enjoying the memories, until other emotions intruded. He turned slightly to see Dr. Borsa enter the lab, talking with another man.
“Come on, doc, there’s no way she’s found out anything.”
“Someone has been rifling through my files, Curt,” the doctor replied, radiating dark red anger. “Who else do you suppose it could have been?”
“I don’t know…”
“At any rate, it doesn’t matter.”
“It doesn’t?”
“Not much. I found out this morning - that idiot Christoph gave her my special medicine. No, whatever she knows, she won’t be able to tell it to anyone else. The new formula is ready for testing. She’ll be the perfect subject.”
“Which formula is that?” The man called Curt was uneasy.
“The one to restore limited cognitive function to the Mindless.”
“But she’s not Mindless,” Curt objected. “So how-”
“We turn her Mindless, of course,” the doctor said, impatient. “Try to keep up.”
Leo stiffened. No! Not beautiful, emotional Karen.
Curt wasn’t happy, either. “You tested it on that specimen yesterday, didn’t you?”
“Yes, and the results were disappointing, but upon reflection I suspect that’s because the subject had been Mindless for too long. Whereas this girl will be, in essence, fresh meat. I’ll have to give the initial injection time to work, of course. She’ll be Mindless for a day or so. Could be tranquilized, too. Perhaps you’d like to… spend some time with her. Explore the territory, as it were.”