by Mark Twain
Let me consider that I have now been dead five hundred years. It is my desire, and indeed my command, that what I am going to say now shall not be permitted to see the light until the edition of A.D. 2400. At that distant date the things which I am about to say will be commonplaces of the time, and barren of offence, whereas if uttered in our day they could inflict pain upon my friends, my acquaintances, and thousands of strangers whom I have no desire to hurt, and could get me ostracized, besides, and cut off from all human fellowship—and the ostracism is the main thing. I am human, and nothing could persuade me to do any bad deed—or any good one—that would bring that punishment upon me.
What I am going to say is not new, except to utterance. I think every person in Christendom of average intelligence has thought the things which I am going to say, many and many a time. He is thoroughly familiar with them, in his secret heart, and would gladly and promptly utter them and publish them if he had been dead five hundred years; but all these thousands and thousands of human beings of above average intelligence are like myself, they have not the courage to come out and tell their deep secret to their neighbor, (who possesses the same secret down in the depths of his heart, also, though he never lets on). It is against nature for a person to have the courage to get himself spurned and avoided; and these millions, along with me, are keeping the great secret, each one thinking he is the only one that has it, and hoping that the others will not find it out and crucify him.
My spirit is a little stirred, but I am trying to keep it from appearing at its full temperature in my words. During five years I have had in my possession a sack of old letters to which I attached no value. They were letters from strangers to each other, in the main, Smiths and Joneses and the like, wholly unknown to the world and to me, persons of not the slightest interest to anybody. I was never expecting to become industrious enough to overhaul that sack and examine its contents, but now that I am doing this autobiography the joys and the sorrows of everybody, high and low, rich and poor, famous and obscure, are dear to me. I can take their heart affairs into my heart as I never could before. In becoming my own biographer I realize that I have become the biographer of Tom, Dick, and Harry, the voiceless. I recognize that Tom and I are intimates; that be he young or be he old, he has never felt anything that I have not felt; he has never had an emotion that I am a stranger to.
Before I got up this morning I brought that ancient bag to the bed, and the first envelope I pulled out was a find. It contained five letters written by three obscure women twenty-seven years ago. They embody a pitiful romance. One of the women is evidently old, and has a good use of language but no education. No. 2 is evidently elderly, and apparently has some education. No. 3 is evidently young, and has had but little schooling, but has a native gift of expression which is very striking. I think it very remarkable and very interesting to see how well you know these three women after you have carefully studied their letters a while. I think that the three characters stand out as strongly and distinctly as they would in the book of a trained novelist after he had devoted seventeen pages to painting their portraits for us. The three are strangers to me. I had never heard of them until this morning. The poor little romance is twenty-seven years old, yet the artless art of the ignorant authors of it has made it stir me as if the incidents had happened yesterday; and not to strangers, but to personal friends of mine.
1879
Three Rivers Oct 5
Mich
Mrs Williams
Dear Lady
Permit a stranger to address a few lines of inquiry to you in regard to Mrs Hunt who stoped with you last winter. She was in poor health and was confined at your home—— She is a widdow and has a little boy with her named Earnest She bcame intimate with a Married man here and got in trouble by him, then suddenly left saying she was going to Kansas City where she has relatives but instead she went to Detroit and said she was boarding with Mrs Williams. Now what I wish to know is this what story did she tell you in regard to herslf and circumstances &c did she have a living child and what did she do with it was it male of female?
I will assure you by answering my questions and writing whatever you wish will be kept strictly confidental if you wish it. I think from the tenor of her letters she must have been verry ungrateful for your kindness when she was friendless. I will quote a passage from one of her letters “Mrs Williams pretends to be a christian woman but the love for gain is stronger than her religeon and when I could not pay her $50 extra she forgot herself as a lady or a christian and said hard things.”
I am a relative of hers but do not wish to screne her in doing wrong, but would like to know how much truth or how many untruths she has told while with you. She pretends she has nothing living, but I have reason to think othewise. By giving this your earliest attention you will confer a great favor on an unknown friend
Yours Respecfly
Mrs Wm Griffiths
Three Rivers
Mich
From the Same to the Same.
excuse pencil)
Oct 13th 1879
Three Rivers
Mich
Mrs Williams
Detroit—
Dear Madam
Yours of the 9th was duly recd and many thanks for your kindness and prompt answer— You have failed to answer the most important part of my letter concerning the child— I will ask again will you please answer them—
When she left you house did she take the child with her, what did she inted to do with it, was it Male or female what was the name of the man she told you who was the father of it? Those are plain questions and I trust you as a Lady of honer and integrity and will do as you would wish to be done by— Be assured that no trouble will ever come to you in consequence of it— I have good reasons for wishing to know these things as I know all the rest from her own pen. She givs me the name of a man but I have reason to doubt her word. She has told different stories and I dont consider her word good for anything I do not blame you for doing as you did by her but I think your confidence was misplaced and she illtreated you for your kindness to her——
I will give you just one illustration— You say she did not board with you—you allso say she went away in your debt
I have in my possesion a bill of her own making while at your house saying like this.
Indebtedness paid from 24 of Dec to 6th of March—— Commencing (10 weeks board $8. per week $80) &c and other things carried out in the same way untill it figures up to nearly $200—two hundred dollars and to my certain knowledge she had over two hundred from here while at your house, and was abuntently able to have paid all that you required of her——you say she said the last she heard from this man he was in Canada the one that she tells me I dont think he was ever in Canada in his life I am anxious to hear the name she told you to see how they will corispond— If you will be kind enough to answer ths early, you may heare from me again—
Resectfly your Friend
Mrs Wm Griffiths
From the Girl to Mrs. Williams.
Kansas City*
My Dear Mrs Williams
I have been so Ill both in mind and body that I found it impossible to write you before. I arrived in Chicago at 6 am the next morning and as soon as I could went to bed and was not able to leave there untill the last of the next week. I was fearful that I was being taxed beyond my strength to endure and such is the case I am so nervous that I cannot control my hand in writing. My kind friends in C— have done nobly such kindness I did not look for, little Bessie is well cared for which of course help’s me although, I cannot help longing to have her myself. I have never heard a word from Mr H since I left your home and cannot learn where he is the most I have learned has been that he was in Canida I presume like the coward and villain that he has proved himself to be he will stay away, if possible I expect to go to Colorado. I am so miserable that I do not have very much ambition. I feel the necessity of trying to battle with this great trouble, and do something and with God�
�s help I hope I shall succeed, no one but him know’s what I have suffered and do now.
Ernest is well is very much pleased with the West, he has gone to sabbath School. The weather is and has been rather cool for the time of year. I may stay here untill July I cannot decide yet what I had better do. I hope your health has improved
with kind regards
Mrs SM Hunt
East 17th st
Kansas City
Mo
From Mrs. Williams to the Girl.
Detroit. October 16. 1879
Mrs Sylvia Hunt—
I received your letter from Kansas City some months ago. Since then have received some letters from Three Rivers Michigan—which have somewhat surprised me.
It seems you reported there that you boarded with us at $8.00 per week—that as you left I demanded $50.00 and that I professed to be a Christian but my love for money was stronger than my religion Etc. Etc. It would take too long to quote at length.
Mrs Hunt you know the circumstances under which I took you—on your part—and you know very well you paid but a nominal sum for your accommodations while you were well—but nothing like what you aught to have paid concidering the deception you practiced to get to stay until after your confinement.
Concerning the hard things I said to you—you know all I said and I know all I said.
I promised to keep your secret—and up to this date nothing has gone from me—rather us—for Mr W. knew all. We seldom speak of you in any way—but since you have chosen to misrepresent so many things (and you have done it because this person writing could not know any other way than through you,] again I say since you have chosen to mis represent things as you have and had the money to the amount of over two hundred dollars sent you while at our house and since you have chosen to act as you have—I must say I feel under no obligations to keep from answering certain questions that have been asked me.
We thought it but proper to give you this notice before I write again (I have answered one letter to Three Rivers, but answered no questions in that—now another is before me.
Respectfully, &c.
Mrs M.E. Williams
From the Girl to Mrs. Williams.
Oct 18th
Kansas City
Mrs Williams
I am so grateful to you for writing to me and giving me an opportunity to defend myself from Parties who seem determined to injure all they can. When I came here I was Heart broken so my Sister said she would never thought I was the same person and I told her all I do not think I could of lived but for her kindness and support, sometime ago I rec’d a letter, stating that letter’s from those I was with at D explaining every thing, demanding also money for indebtedness &c, which I had left unpaid was rec’d and that there was no use to think I was safe as they knew everything. I was dumb with surprize I felt your demand upon me for $50.00 keenly but at the same time I thought you had the impresion that I could get all the money I wanted and as I did not get away when I expected to you might as well have pay for it, and I did not lay up a hard thought. I have many hours sat and thought of my home at that time and thankful to think I was not thrown among those who I could not trust when I rec’d the letter I replyed by writing to my Sister telling her of the Ill treatment rec’d from Mr H &c when it came to my sickness I said like this that it was to sad for me to say anything about I would and must draw a vail over that forever. I felt deeply hurt to think you had as I supposed written to them and although your name was never mentioned in a letter I ever wrote to anyone (Ernest at one time in writing to his Cousin said Mr Williams where we lived had the nicest Black cow he ever saw) and I did not think anything of it as I had not one thought of trying to deceive anyone in regard to my name, place or anything accept Mr H I was told before I left C— to go to D to never let him know the names of anyone but to do the best could, and make him pay at the rate of $8 00 or $9 00 pr wk for board and send all the bill’s I could so as to get all the money I could from him it is utterly false that I had $200 while at your house I had of my own money $65.00 which I got and Mr H did not send me but $25.00 that I had to use while there. If I had not had that of my own I would of been obliged to of applyed for aid he does not know to day how I ever lived or paid as I found he did not get the 3 last letter’s I wrote with bill statements containing board bill at $8.00 pr wk and other bill’s as large as could be made, in one of those letter’s I said like this which I wrote with a demand for money. I shall not be able to leave here under the circumstances which I expected, meaning I was to late, and urged the necessity of imediate releif for Mrs W. I never expected to remain at your house and had my mind not been so troubled I should of seen I had made a wrong estimate of time I am sorry I did not show you the letter I wrote to Dr F telling him to have everything ready for my comfort through sickness, and at the same time telling him of your great kindness to me and also his reply trying to cheer me and saying God he knew was with me as so many kind friend’s were with me then my letter telling him of my mistake and sickness. I am sure you would not doubt me then in regard to my staying, those 3 letter’s fell into the hand’s of Mr H’s wife in place of his and I found she took them to my sister as there was no name to them to see if it was my writing. She then thought she would find out what they meant, and had my Sister write, as also did she, professing to know all and making me think you had written to her and told all, in replying to my Sister, I said I had felt I was with Christan people but you had made me feel and doubt that there was any at all I felt you had told them and tried to get money that I said I thought your asking me for the $50.00 and them the other that your love for money was the greatest. I never mentioned your name then I said Parties my Sister here has seen all the letter’s I have re’cd and all I write and I can prove all I say to you if you wish when I paid you the $10.00 I knew not what I would do as when I arrived in C— I had only money enough to pay my fare here and 95 cts over and walked to the depot to save that, where I boarded they trusted me and the first work I was able to do I sent the money to pay it and Dr F knew all, and but for their aid, I could not of left there under the painful circumstances I had to, as I had no money, and I have never rec’d one ct since nor had a letter from Mr H since before I was sick all I have now I have to work for what is to come in future may if ever I get it be to late to ever help me any my Sister at home then coppied the 3 letter’s and sent them to my Sister here we then knew we had judged you wrong and I am glad it is so and at the same time sorry I said what I did, although I felt I had good reason then to say it Mrs H did not think it would show the deception she wrote me and found she was obliged to let me alone I have no mean’s to defend myself with and it will be best to say nothing. What they have said in regard to my Character is False and utterly without any foundation—made up lies which I do not feel they would care to be made to prove as Mrs W there can no one prove one thing whereever I have been all these yrs I can prove every hr of time how and who with it was spent but Mr H made an attempt to prove that I was not all right I wish the letter I wrote him about that had fell into his wife’s hand’s she would never made an attempt to do what she seem’s anxious she say’s to my Sister she hated her husbanded she knew he was mean enough to do anything, at the same time she want’s to know all and in order to do so has taken what I wrote to my Sister in reply to what I thought you had written) and then the 3 letter’s from them put the indebtedness for board which I sent as I told you to him in order to get money and wrote to you or got someone to so as to make you feel I had done you an injustice and to get you to tell her all your name they got from E’s letter no other way, had I mean’s I would, go home and settle with them I would and could put Mr H in a place where he would be obliged to work as I have proof’s that would do it my Sister here know’s of thing’s that happened when I was a child that my Father had forbidden her to go with him she is older than me but she never told me although say’s many times has thought what if he should take advantage of my being alone and injure me, a
s she knew he alway’s professed to be such a friend to me. I wish I knew how I could make him pay me $200 or 3—or—5—my Sister think’s it best for me to keep still and in writing say nothing about it she will go home this winter I think, and I have friend’s there that will not beleive me to be bad as they know me and been with me my life has alway’s been a quiet one and have alway’s worked hard there is in every place as you know gossipper’s and a class of people who feast upon all that tend’s to be low and tell lies and is such a habit with them they think and really beleive what they say. I care not for them, although it is not pleasant as I wrote my Sister I was glad I never for one moment felt unhappy for anything I had done wrong in my conscience was clear my unhapiness was caused from the wrong other’s had done to me. Mrs W I thank you kindly for writing to me and ask your pardon for doubting you and am willing to trust you now whatevr they write to deceive
Yours respectfully
Mrs SM Hunt, Kansas City
Mo