by Mark Twain
58.31–32 his friend Whitford] Like Webster, Daniel Whitford (1840–1923) was from Fredonia, where the two men had been friends. He practiced law in Buffalo, Chicago, and Fredonia before joining the New York firm of Alexander and Green in 1873. Webster hired him in May 1881 to help him investigate the Kaolatype business, and he remained Clemens’s attorney for over a decade. In 1894, however, when Charles L. Webster and Company declared bankruptcy, Clemens concluded that Whitford was disloyal and untrustworthy (“Died,” New York Times, 19 May 1923, 13; Chautauqua County 1904, 2:1130–32; Webster to SLC, 5 May 1881, CU-MARK; Harrison to SLC, 1 June 1894, CU-MARK, in HHR, 63 n. 3; MTLP, 365; see also AD, 29 May 1906).
58.34–35 I had tried to confer upon Webster a tenth interest in the business in addition to his salary, free of charge] The establishment of Charles L. Webster and Company was formalized by a contract drawn on 10 April 1884, which granted Webster a salary of $2,500 a year but no share of the profits (NPV).
59.5–8 Alexander and Green had a great and lucrative business . . . Life Insurance Companies] Charles B. Alexander was head of the law firm Alexander and Green and counsel for—and a director of—the Equitable Life Assurance Society. During the 1905 investigation into unethical practices in the insurance industry he was accused of using the society’s assets for personal gain. Several other insurance company directors, including members of the Alexander family, were also implicated (AutoMT1, 549 n. 257.6–9; Chicago Tribune: “Loot Equitable Policy Holders,” 14 Apr 1905, 5; “49 Defendants in Equitable Suit,” 31 July 1905, 1).
59.25–26 I went off with George W. Cable on a four months’ reading-campaign] Clemens toured with Cable, known for his stories of Creole life, from November 1884 through February 1885 (see AutoMT1, 488 n. 86.12).
59.29 pecuniary compulsions came, and I lectured all around the globe] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 4 June 1906 and AutoMT1, 521 n. 190.10–12.
59.32–33 lecture . . . for the benefit of the Robert Fulton Memorial Fund] See AutoMT1, 426–28, 630–31 nn. 426.13–15, 426.20–21.
Autobiographical Dictation, 28 May 1906
60.10 That was General Grant’s memorable book] This account of the publication of Grant’s Personal Memoirs by Webster and Company largely repeats what Clemens dictated to James Redpath in 1885, dictations that were not included in his Autobiography. The dates and figures in the two accounts are slightly different, but there is only one major discrepancy, identified in the next note, at 60.13–18 (see “About General Grant’s Memoirs” in AutoMT1, 75–98 and notes on 482–93).
60.13–18 two dim figures . . . permitted to overhear them] In his 1885 dictation, made when events were fresh in his mind, Clemens said that he and his wife “stumbled over” Richard Watson Gilder (editor of the Century Magazine) after the reading in Chickering Hall (New York), and were invited to a late supper at his house, where Gilder revealed that Grant “had written three war articles for the Century and was going to write a fourth,” and “had set out deliberately to write his memoirs in full and to publish them in book form.” If the different account in the present dictation describes an actual event, it would have to have occurred the following evening, when Clemens again lectured at Chickering Hall unaccompanied by his wife (AutoMT1, 77–78, 486 n. 77.27–31).
62.30–31 feed fat the ancient grudge I bore them] The Merchant of Venice, act 1, scene 3.
62.33–40 General Sherman had published his Memoirs . . . ought to have been published in that way] Memoirs of General William T. Sherman was first issued in two volumes in 1875 by D. Appleton and Company. According to the manager of the firm’s subscription book department, Sherman “had a horror of book agents, and would neither patronize them nor have his book sold by them” (Derby 1884, 182–84). Clemens noted in 1887 that the Memoirs had earned Sherman $25,000, and claimed he could have “quadrupled that sale easily, and paid him $80,000 in royalties” (18 Sept 1887 to Webster and Co., NN -BGC, in MTLP, 234). Webster and Company later bought the rights to Sherman’s Memoirs and reissued them in 1890–92.
64.10–12 that his salary be increased to thirty-five hundred dollars . . . I furnish all the capital required at 7 per cent] No contract on these terms has been found. It seems likely that it was soon “abolished” in favor of a “new one,” as Clemens recounts in the Autobiographical Dictation of 29 May 1906. This “new” contract, dated 20 March 1885, is described in the note there at 65.30–38.
64.15–16 my brother-in-law, General Langdon] Olivia’s younger brother, Charles Jervis Langdon (see AutoMT1, 578 n. 321.25–27).
64.28–29 quarters better suited to his new importance] Webster moved to larger quarters at 42 East Fourteenth Street in early March 1885, shortly after the contract with Grant was signed (Webster to SLC, 14 Mar 1885, CU-MARK; MTB, 2:806–7).
Autobiographical Dictation, 29 May 1906
65.23–29 George Evans . . . “I’ve never read any of his books, on account of prejudice.”] As “George Eliot,” English writer Mary Ann Evans (1819–80) was best known for her novels Adam Bede, Daniel Deronda, and Middlemarch; Clemens here combines her name with her pseudonym. Charles Webster’s son, Samuel, said in 1946 that he did not believe this story, claiming that his father knew the author was a woman and owned a set of her works. It is not clear what Webster meant by “prejudice” (if he is quoted accurately), unless he was trying to ingratiate himself by echoing Clemens’s own prejudice against Eliot. In 1885 Clemens said that he had “bored through Middlemarch during the past week, with its labored & tedious analyses of feelings & motives, its paltry & tiresome people, its unexciting & uninteresting story.... I wouldn’t read another of those books for a farm” (21 July 1885 to Howells, NN-BGC, in MTHL, 2:533; MTBus, 364–65; see also Gribben 1980, 1:216–18).
65.30–38 Webster had suggested that we abolish the existing contract . . . I could not even make a suggestion] A contract drawn on 20 March 1885 provided Webster with the same salary as before ($2,500 a year), one-third of the net profits up to a limit of $20,000, and one-tenth thereafter. Clemens was granted 8 percent interest on the capital he advanced. Webster was not to be held responsible for any losses “over and above the amount which he may have received as profits during the continuance of said co-partnership.” The clause that Clemens evidently objected to put Webster in charge of the “entire management of the active business of the said firm,” including “the employment and discharge of clerks and other employees . . . and the making of all contracts for work or material.” Clemens could “not be called upon to perform any service or to take any supervision of the said business.” The only action that required Clemens’s consent was the making of any “contract for the publishing of a book” (NPV; see AutoMT1, 486 n. 79.21–22). Webster defended himself against this accusation in December 1888, shortly after he retired. He told Whitford, “Mr. Clemens now complains of a clause (placing all business in my hands) which has appeared in every contract he ever made with me”—an accurate description of all four subsequent contracts (Webster to Whitford, 31 Dec 1888, MTBus, 391).
66.17 During the winter of 1884 . . . hurt himself] As Clemens correctly remembered in 1885, when dictating “Grant and the Chinese,” this accident took place in December 1883 (AutoMT1, 72, 478 n. 72.7–9).
66.23–24 Shrady or Douglas; Douglas, I think—Douglas, I am sure] George F. Shrady (1837–1907) was a physician—second only to John H. Douglas—who attended Grant in his last days at Mount McGregor (“Another Quiet Day,” New York Times, 25 June 1885, 4; for Douglas see AutoMT1, 487 n. 82.30).
67.41 the memorable 4th of March, 1885] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 31 May 1906, note at 70.20–23.
Autobiographical Dictation, 31 May 1906
68.10–11 Monadnock is so close by] Clemens and his household spent the summer and early fall of 1906—from mid-May to late October—at Upton House in Dublin, New Hampshire. His stay was punctuated by brief trips to New York and Boston.
69.21–23 Some people had a prejudice against Webster .
. . that he was a Jew. I have no prejudices against Jews] Charles L. Webster was certainly not Jewish in religion, and nothing that is known of his family background suggests Jewish ancestry. The fullest scholarly account of Clemens’s relation to the Jews is Mark Twain’s Jews (Vogel 2006).
69.36 However] As originally dictated, this text read: “I said that if I had been at the Crucifixion—— However”; Clemens deleted the incomplete sentence on the typescript (see the Textual Commentary at MTPO).
70.3–9 one-word title, “General” . . . surrendered it to become President] When the title General of the Army was given to Grant in July 1866 it had previously been conferred only on George Washington. Grant surrendered it upon his election to the presidency in 1869, and it was passed to William T. Sherman (U.S. Army Center of Military History 2011; see AutoMT1, 472 n. 67.2–3, 482–83 n. 76.5–8).
70.20–23 news was dispatched to General Grant by telegram . . . exhibited itself in his iron countenance] Clemens was at the Grant residence on 4 March 1885 when a telegram arrived with the news that Congress had, after years of failed attempts, restored Grant’s title as General of the Army on the retired list (AutoMT1, 485 n. 77.9–13).
70.27 This was in Chicago, in 1879] For Clemens’s earlier account of this event see “The Chicago G. A. R. Festival,” AutoMT1, 67–70 and notes on 472–75.
70.36–37 Schofield, Logan] John McAllister Schofield (1831–1906) held major commands during the Civil War and later was secretary of war (1868) and superintendent of West Point (1876–81); he remained in active service and retired as a lieutenant general in 1895. John Alexander Logan (1826–86) commanded the Army of the Tennessee and entered politics after the war, serving Illinois as a congressman and then a senator until his death.
Autobiographical Dictation, 1 June 1906
72.5–6 most telling speech I ever listened to . . . by the capable Depew] This speech has not been identified with certainty, but Depew (see the note at 72.23–25) himself described an occasion bearing some resemblance to the one that Clemens recalls here.
I arrived at the dinner late and passed in front of the daïs to my seat at the other end, while General Grant was speaking. He was not easy on his feet at that time, though afterwards he became very felicitous in public speaking. He paused a moment until I was seated and then said: “If Chauncey Depew stood in my shoes, and I in his, I would be a much happier man.”
I immediately threw away the speech I had prepared during the six hours’ trip from Washington, and proceeded to make a speech on “Who can stand now or in the future in the shoes of General Grant?” . . .
The enthusiasm of the audience, as the speech went on, surpassed anything I ever saw. They rushed over tables and tried to carry the general around the room. When the enthusiasm had subsided he came to me and with much feeling said: “Thank you for that speech; it is the greatest and most eloquent that I ever heard.” (Depew 1924, 70–71)
According to another account, Depew used the “felicitous” keynote phrase repeatedly, each time listing another of Grant’s victories, and the “effect was magical” (Marden 1907, 196).
72.23–25 Depew . . . is dying now, and under a cloud] Chauncey M. Depew had been a Republican senator from New York since 1899. The life insurance investigation of 1905 resulted in accusations that he used his political influence to promote corporate interests, especially those of the Equitable Life Assurance Society (which paid him a yearly $20,000 retainer) and the Vanderbilt railroad companies. Although he resisted pressure to resign, he did withdraw from many of the seventy-nine companies he served as a director or trustee. Although the newspapers reported that his health was poor, he lived until 1928 and died at the age of ninety-three (Los Angeles Times: “Recall Invoked for Depew,” 3 Jan 1906, 1; “He Won’t Resign,” 4 Jan 1906, 1; “Friends Uphold Depew; Brackett Seeks Cover,” New York Times, 4 Jan 1906, 5; “Senator Depew. Reasons Why He Should Withdraw from Public Life,” San Francisco Chronicle, 5 Jan 1906, 6).
72.38–73.2 When I was entering the house, the Confederate General, Buckner . . . General Grant captured the fortress] Clemens did not encounter Buckner at Mount McGregor, the resort near Saratoga Springs, New York, where Grant spent his last days. When Buckner visited there, on 10 July 1885, Clemens was at Quarry Farm with his family. Two months earlier, he had already recorded in his notebook the anecdote he retails here (N&J3, 149–50). Simon Bolivar Buckner (1823–1914) of Kentucky attended West Point with Grant and fought in the same division in the Mexican War. After Grant resigned from the army in 1854, he borrowed money from Buckner in New York to pay his hotel bill. When Kentucky sided with the Union in the Civil War, Buckner reluctantly joined the Confederacy. In February 1862 Union forces captured Fort Donelson in Tennessee, the first major victory for the North. Grant’s note to Buckner, “No terms except unconditional and immediate surrender can be accepted,” earned him the nickname of “Unconditional Surrender” (for “U.S.”) Grant. After the war Buckner edited the Louisville Courier and was governor of Kentucky in 1887–91 (Smith 2001, 89–90, 161–62, 165–66).
73.24–25 in the aggregate the book paid Mrs. Grant something like half a million dollars] The net profits on the book were divided between Mrs. Grant (70 percent) and the Webster firm (30 percent). Estimates of the total royalties paid to her vary somewhat, but Clemens’s figure—equivalent in today’s dollars to at least $8 million—is plausible (AutoMT1, 486–87 n. 80.35; see also AD, 2 June 1906, note at 74.38–75.1).
73.26 Webster was in his glory] In a self-aggrandizing 1887 interview Webster claimed that it was he who first approached Grant about writing his memoirs, several months before the incident that Clemens recalls here:
About the time of the Grant & Ward failure . . . I went to the General and represented that it would be advantageous for him to write a history of his career. He replied that John Russell Young and Adam Badeau had both written him up, and that he did not think, in justice to those gentlemen, he should take up the pen in his own behalf. I continued my solicitations, and the Century company also strove to induce him to write his life. I finally succeeded, and the first volume of the memoirs was given to the public.
He also gave an implausible account of his role in persuading Grant to dictate his book:
He demurred at first, saying that he never had dictated a letter in his life. . . . I finally agreed to go to his house each day with a stenographer, remain while the general dictated for about two hours, go home with the stenographer and remain with him until he had delivered to me not only his notes but the complete text of the general’s remarks. (“The Publisher of Grant’s Book,” Kansas City Star, 25 June 1887, 1)
Autobiographical Dictation, 2 June 1906
74.14 Charles L. Webster was one of the most assful persons I have ever met] This dictation about the ill fortunes of Webster and Company is one-sided and in many instances erroneous. Although some of the inaccuracies in the following account are pointed out in the notes, it is not possible to recover the actual events with any certainty. In Mark Twain, Business Man, Samuel Charles Webster records a more even-handed version of the interactions between Clemens and Webster, whose fundamentally incompatible personalities made conflict inevitable (MTBus; see also the note at 80.14–18).
74.22 on a level with Sherlock Holmes] Although Clemens himself employed the literary device of mysteries solved by clever deduction (usually for comic effect), he had no admiration for Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes, whom he considered a “pompous sentimental ‘extraordinary man’ with his cheap & ineffectual ingenuities” (8 Sept 1901 to Twichell, CtY-BR). His “Double-Barrelled Detective Story” is a parody of the genre in general and Sherlock Holmes in particular (SLC 1902a; for a discussion of Clemens’s detective fiction see Lillian S. Robinson’s “Afterword” in SLC 1996c).
74.38–75.1 Fred Grant . . . ordered another examination] Colonel Frederick Grant, the general’s son, questioned Webster and Company’s accounting in April 1887, complaining that legal fees had been
improperly “charged” to Mrs. Grant. He asked his own accountant to examine the books, and in July reported the results in a five-page typed letter: the total net profits to date on the Memoirs were about $678,000; about $475,000 of this (70 percent) was due to Mrs. Grant, who had been paid $361,000. She was therefore owed $114,000, instead of the company’s figure of $33,000. The dispute continued through the following winter, with Grant threatening a lawsuit and Webster and Company rejecting all demands. It is not clear how this matter was resolved, but no legal action followed (Webster to SLC, 23 Apr 1887, and Grant to Webster and Co., 22 July 1887, CU-MARK; N&J3, 319 n. 54).
75.10–20 expert found that Scott had stolen twenty-six thousand dollars . . . sent to the penitentiary for five years] Frank M. Scott (b. 1859?) was hired as a cashier and bookkeeper by Charles L. Webster and Company in July 1885. According to Clemens’s notebook, Webster almost immediately began to receive anonymous letters claiming Scott was a thief. It is certain that by October 1886 Webster suspected him of embezzlement, but he waited for some months before commissioning an expert to investigate. Arrested in March 1887, Scott admitted he had been stealing from the start, covering up the shortfall with false entries in the books. He used the money to pay debts, to speculate in the stock market, and to buy jewelry for his wife; he also started to build a house. He was convicted of embezzling $26,000 and sentenced to six years’ imprisonment. In late 1890 Clemens and Webster successfully petitioned the governor to have him pardoned for his family’s sake. After his release he got a job as a cashier and bookkeeper for a printer, and again “misappropriated his employer’s moneys to the extent of about $6,300” (S. Meredith Dickinson 1900, 344–49; N&J3, 283–84 n. 194, 314; New York Times: “A Weakness for Display,” 13 Mar 1887, 2; “Confessions of a Thief,” 18 Mar 1887, 5; Webster to SLC, 25 Mar 1887, CU-MARK; “City and Suburban News,” 23 Apr 1887, 3).