by Mark Twain
197.18–19 an offer of sixteen thousand dollars a year . . . as editor of a humorous periodical] The offer referred to may have been from Robert Barr (1849–1912), who in 1892 founded The Idler, a London monthly. At that time he offered Clemens the position of nominal coeditor, with no duties attached; no agreement was reached (reportedly because Clemens’s requested share of the profits was too high), and the coeditorship went to humorist Jerome K. Jerome, author of the popular Three Men in a Boat. Clemens did however assist in launching The Idler, serializing in its pages his novel The American Claimant, and acting as the magazine’s American distributor through his firm of Charles L. Webster and Company. In 1895 Barr quarreled with Jerome and lost editorial control of The Idler; but in 1897 Jerome was forced out, and Barr, as sole proprietor, tried to relaunch the magazine. He again offered Clemens a place on the masthead and was refused: “No, bedad I dasn’t be either editor or associate. It is a pity, too, for I think you will make your scheme succeed. Go ahead—you are young & full of energy—& grand prosperity attend you! I am old, & will get me to a nunnery” (29 Sept 1897 to Barr, photocopy in CU-MARK; Oxenham 1946, 36–37; Ashley 2006, 93–100; SLC 1892b).
197.40–198.8 six attempts to tell a simple little story . . . “The Death-Wafer.”] Inspired by a passage that Clemens read in 1883 in Oliver Cromwell’s Letters and Speeches, “The Death-Disk” is the story of three soldiers who are convicted of exceeding their orders; one of them is to be selected by lot for execution. The daughter of one soldier innocently hands him the disk of sealing wax that condemns him to death. Clemens initially planned it as a tragedy to be written in collaboration with Howells, but after his 1899 conversation with Robert McClure (brother of S. S. McClure, and London agent for McClure’s Magazine), he decided to supply a happy ending. The story was published in the 1901 Christmas issue of Harper’s Monthly (20 Dec 1883 to Howells, MH-H, in MTHL, 2:455–59; N&J3, 14–15; Rasmussen 2007, 1:100–101; “Find R. B. M’Clure Suicide in His Home,” New York Times, 31 May 1914, 1; SLC 1901; see also AD, 7 June 1906 and the note at 106.1).
Autobiographical Dictation, 31 August 1906
200.6 Messrs. Brush and Smith] George de Forest Brush (1855–1941) was a painter associated with the American Renaissance movement of the turn of the century; Joseph Lindon Smith (1863–1950), likewise a painter, was an enthusiast of amateur theatricals. Both were residents of the artists’ colony of Dublin, New Hampshire (University Art Galleries 1985, 77–79, 115–16).
200.16–28 forty years ago, in San Francisco . . . That anecdote is in one of my books] A contemporary report of Clemens’s second San Francisco lecture, on 16 November 1866 at Platt’s Hall, said:
The lecturer commenced with a story he had heard about the Overland Mail service, and didn’t want to hear any more, for he had read it in the Tribune, in Bayard Taylor’s letter, in the letters of Ross Browne, and in the letters of every other person who had ever crossed the mountains and knew that there were such persons as Horace Greeley and Hank Monk. (“Amusements, Etc.,” San Francisco Alta California, 17 Nov 1866, 1)
Clemens used this anecdote in chapter 20 of Roughing It. For Horace Greeley, Hank Monk, and John Ross Browne, see RI 1993, 608–12, and L1, 370 n. 6.
200.29–30 I had been a reporter on one of the papers] The San Francisco Morning Call (see AD, 13 June 1906 and notes).
202.20–25 there was to be an Authors’ Reading at Chickering Hall . . . James Russell Lowell] Clemens resurrected this Monk-Greeley anecdote for the Chickering Hall reading of 28 November 1887. The speakers also included George Washington Cable and James Whitcomb Riley. The chairman was James Russell Lowell (1819–91), eminent man of letters and Harvard professor of modern languages and literature. He edited the Atlantic Monthly (1857–62) and the North American Review (1864–72), later serving as the American minister to Spain and ambassador to Great Britain (“Authors Have a Matinee,” New York Times, 29 Nov 1887, 5).
203.26–30 The pictures which Mr. Paine made . . . I am sending half a dozen of these sets to friends] Paine, who in his youth had been a professional photographer, took these photographs on the porch of Clemens’s summer rental (Upton House, Dublin, New Hampshire) on 25 June 1906, the day before Clemens departed for New York. After his return to Dublin he ordered and inscribed them as a series: “I like them ever so much. Mr. Paine made 7 negatives in the hope of getting one satisfactory one; & when the samples came back from the developer they were all good. It seemed to me that a progressive thought was traceable thru them, & after arranging the series in varying order several times I discovered what it was” (4 Sept 1906 to CC, CU-MARK). He sent out many sets of the pictures (certainly more than “half a dozen”) to friends and family that summer; in September he arranged for the pictures to be published in the Christmas number of Harper’s Weekly (AutoMT1, 542 n. 250.19–21; Lyon 1906, entries for 25 and 26 June; MTB, 3:1316; 27 Sept 1906 to Ashcroft, photocopy in CU-MARK; SLC 1906j).
211.1–6 my long-vanished little fourteen-year-old sweetheart . . . has written a charming letter] Laura Wright Dake’s letter of 27 August 1906 thanked Clemens effusively for the $1,000 check he had sent her (see AD, 30 July 1906):
Oh, how can I thank you! How can I, except to ask the Lord, every night as I commend myself to his care, to bless you and yours. You see, after having run the gauntlet of nearly every “ism” and speculative philosophy that has turned the modern mind towards Baal, I have gone back, baffled, to the simple faith—trusting it all to the Divine Intelligence and accepting what is sent, for weal or woe, without question. When, on a sudden impulse I wrote to you, hoping to reach Mr. Carnagie’s heart through yours, not knowing where I could find him, I sealed the letter with a fervent “As God wills it!” and lo! He has answered me.
I did not dream, my dear old friend, that you would respond personally, else I would not have presumed to ask such a thing. . . . However, it is not so much the generous response that enables me to carry into execution my heart’s desire (and that is more than mere words can tell you—) but it is the finding out that the adulation of a world has left unchanged the sweet nature of the friend of long ago. Few, oh so few come from this crucible untainted! (CU-MARK)
211.9–14 the John J. Roe . . . Youngblood, one of the pilots] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 30 July 1906.
212.28 Lyell’s “Geology,”] Charles Lyell’s three-volume Principles of Geology, first published in 1830–33 and revised frequently until the author’s death in 1875, established geology among the sciences and introduced its methods and vocabulary to a wide audience (Gribben 1980, 1:430).
Autobiographical Dictation, 3 September 1906
214.11–12 George Brush and Joseph Smith] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 31 August 1906, note at 200.6.
214.20 Professor Henderson] Ernest Flagg Henderson (1861–1928), who earned his doctorate in history at the University of Berlin, had by 1906 published three books on Germany: Select Historical Documents of the Middle Ages (1892), A History of Germany in the Middle Ages (1894), and A Short History of Germany. Volume 1: 9 A.D. to 1648 A.D. (1902). The Clemenses had known Henderson and his wife, the former Berta von Bunsen (1862–1942), in Berlin in the early 1890s. The Hendersons, with their six children, regularly spent their summers in Dublin, New Hampshire (“Mrs. Bertha Henderson,” New York Times, 5 Mar 1942, 23; Lyon 1905a, entries for 9 Aug and 6 Oct; U.S. National Archives and Records Administration 1877–1907, Roll 55, passport application for Ernest Flagg Henderson, issued 4 Nov 1903).
215.1–4 Brush assumed the character and manner of an old German professor . . . effective] Jean Clemens reported in her diary that the club “was packed. All the doors & windows were as full of men & women as they could possibly hold.” She recounted Brush’s argument:
Mr. Brush said there were several women in the audience that he loved very dearly, but that even so he didn’t consider that men should be obliterated and to prove that men were better people to have on the earth than women, he went on to say “how fel
icitously what he had just been saying was proved by the following statement” of Mr. Pumpelly’s who told how when he had recently been on an archaeological expedition in the Orient, he had found bones twenty thousand years old. The men’s bones were good & hard & would take on a good polish whereas the women’s were all spongy and of no account whatever, which showed their greater weakness. (JC 1900–1907, entry for 1 Sept 1906)
Professor Raphael Pumpelly (1837–1923), an eminent geologist, was also a summer resident of the Dublin area.
215.5–7 Mr. Smith assumed the precise and ornate style . . . of an established reputation] Jean Clemens also reported Smith’s argument:
Then Joe Smith got up and showed that while he, too, thought that women were kindlier and better-hearted people than men & therefore better to have about, still men were more capable business people so that he found it very difficult to reach a decision. “How felicitously what I have just been saying is illustrated by the following anecdote” & then Mr. Smith went on to relate a story about a man who had been ordered by his physician to walk to his business & never to ride in an automobile or an electric car. The man was famous for his stinginess & he was thankful that while improving his health, he would also be saving the price of gasoline or his car-fare. The first morning he started out to walk, he came across an old woman crying bitterly in front of the Cathedral, with a tiny baby in her arms. The man stopped and asked what the trouble was, & the woman, still crying, said she wanted to have the baby christened in the Cathedral. “Well, why don’t you go in and have it done?” “Oh! it costs, & I haven’t got the money.” “And how much does it cost?” “Three dollars.” The man fumbled in his waist-coat pocket a moment and then drew forth a ten-dollar bill, which, with a pleased smile he handed the woman. “And is that for me?!” she exclaimed, too delighted to believe it possible. “Yes. And I’ll wait here while you get the child christened and bring me the change!” So the woman went in & then brought the man the seven dollars.
When he reached his office, his partner noticed that he looked better & brighter & considerably more cheerful. He asked what had happened to him & said he must surely be feeling better. The man told him that four good things had happened to him that day. The walk had made him feel stronger already; he had saved the expense of the gasoline; he had saved a child from Satan and he had gotten rid of that counterfeit ten-dollar bill & had seven dollars back from it! He was a competent business man!! (JC 1900–1907, entry for 1 Sept 1906)
215.18–19 over-impassioned recitations of “Curfew Shall Not Ring To-night,”] This poem, written by sixteen-year-old Rose Hartwick (later Thorpe) in 1867 and first published three years later, describes a young woman who stopped the bells at Chertsey Abbey to prevent the execution by Cromwell’s men of her lover, falsely accused of being a Cavalier spy during England’s civil war. It became a standard of nineteenth-century public recitation, popular but also much parodied, and was a particular favorite of Queen Victoria’s (George Wharton James 1916, 5, 7–9, 14–15, 18–19).
216.26–28 She . . . jumped on his back and rode him all over the farm] In a letter to Clemens of 1 August 1886, Olivia (at Quarry Farm) reported a visit from Clara Spaulding. Clara had brought her dog Rob with her, and “although we had a good visit, Rob did not because as soon as he appeared in front of the house Sour Mash jumped onto his back and planted her claws so securely into his nose that he bled well, it is a wonder that she did not scratch his eyes out” (CU-MARK). “Brave Sour Mash!” Clemens replied, “Splendid Sour Mash! to furnish Rob Spaulding her autograph, without stamp, card, envelop, or any of the other requirements” (2 Aug 1886 to OLC, CU-MARK).
217.13 Cadichon] The Clemens children adopted the name of their donkey from Les Mémoires d’un âne (1860) by Sophie Rostopchine, comtesse de Ségur. They had a copy of the 1880 English translation (Gribben 1980, 2:620).
218.23 General Beale recently outlined his great, simple, beautiful nature] Beale’s remarks were quoted in a “Special” report from Washington to the Chicago Tribune, and were probably printed in other newspapers as well (“A Tribute. Gen. Beale’s Recollections of the Dying General,” 2 Apr 1885, 1). Edward Fitzgerald (Ned) Beale (1822–93), a close friend of Grant’s, was a former naval officer, California militia general, surveyor general of California and Nevada, and superintendent of Indian affairs for California and Nevada, as well as a millionaire rancher in California and Hyattsville, Maryland, near Washington. He served as ambassador to Austria-Hungary under President Grant (1876–77).
218.30–219.4 And when Sir Ector . . . put spear in rest] The quoted passages are from Sir Thomas Malory’s Le Morte d’Arthur, book 21, chapter 13.
Autobiographical Dictation, 5 September 1906
222.28–30 It is years . . . little chaps] Clemens and Olivia began “the Children’s Record,” which Clemens titled “A Record of the Small Foolishnesses of Susie & ‘Bay’ Clemens (Infants),” in August 1876, when Susy was four years old and Clara was two; Jean was not yet born. The last entry was dated 7 June 1885 (SLC 1876–85). The seven anecdotes given in this dictation, however, are not all from the “Record”: two closely follow an 1884 manuscript headed “At the Farm” (CU-MARK), while one other has not been found in any document.
224.2–3 Mr. Darwin said that nothing was necessary . . . statute of limitations] Darwin, in his “Biographical Sketch of an Infant,” described his young son’s beginning to lie:
I met him coming out of the same room, and he was eyeing his pinafore which he had carefully rolled up; and again his manner was so odd that I determined to see what was within his pinafore, notwithstanding that he said there was nothing and repeatedly commanded me to “go away,” and I found it stained with pickle-juice; so that here was carefully planned deceit. As this child was educated solely by working on his good feelings, he soon became as truthful, open, and tender, as anyone could desire. (Darwin 1877, 292)
224.30 Clara will make her public début as a singer . . . seventeen days hence] See the Autobiographical Dictations of 3 October and 4 October 1906.
224.35 Will Gillette] The actor and dramatist, brother of Lilly Gillette Warner (see AutoMT1, 336, 584 n. 336.18).
224.37–38 Mrs. Leslie and her daughters. Elsie Leslie . . . a great celebrity on the stage] Evelyn Lyde (b. 1849) became known as Mrs. Leslie after her daughters’ stage names, Elsie and Dora Leslie. Elsie Leslie Lyde (1879–1966) and her sister Eda (Dora) O. Lyde (b. 1873) joined the theatrical company of Joseph Jefferson, a family friend, in 1885 after the failure of their father’s business. Jean met Elsie sometime in 1889; by that time Elsie had become famous for her role in Editha’s Burglar (1887), which she first played on Broadway and then (with William Gillette as the burglar) in the traveling company; and for her lead role in Little Lord Fauntleroy (1888). She became a friend of the Clemens family’s and in early 1890 appeared on Broadway in the dual role of the Prince and Tom Canty in Abby Sage Richardson’s dramatization of The Prince and the Pauper, in which her sister also appeared as Princess Elizabeth (U.S. National Archives and Records Administration 1795–1905, Roll 468, passport applications for Evelyn and Eda Lyde, issued 26 May 1896; Newark Census 1880, 779:224C; Lyde 1889, 372, 374; RGB/CL 2011; Odell 1927–49, 14:263–64).
225.9 Rosa] Rosina Hay.
Autobiographical Dictation, 7 September 1906
225.39–226.1 the banquet, last winter . . . the Ends of the Earth Club] According to the New York Times,
The Ends of the Earth Club, of which Mark Twain is the honorary head, with Rudyard Kipling and Admiral George Dewey as members of the Honorary Council, was formed three years ago by globe trotters of New York and everywhere else in the world, whose idea was to dine together once every twelve months and exchange felicitations. (“Ends of the Earthers Foregather Here Again. And Astonish Mark Twain with Some Very Brief Reports,” 17 Feb 1906, 9)
The club’s third annual dinner was held on 16 February 1906 at the Savoy Hotel in Manhattan. For Clemens’s brief speech, about writing The Gild
ed Age and his 1867 lecture at the Cooper Union in New York, see Fatout 1976, 485–86.
226.1–2 chairman, a retired regular army officer of high grade] General James H. Wilson (1837–1925), the toastmaster and unofficial chairman, served in both the Civil War and the Spanish-American War. The words that Clemens quotes here have not been found in the newspaper reports of his speech, but according to the New York Tribune, “The eventual domination of the Anglo-Saxon race was the burden of many of the remarks” at the banquet (“From Ends of Earth,” New York Tribune, 17 Feb 1906, 7).
226.11–14 the old-time picture in the almanac . . . needs sewing up right away] Nineteenth-century almanacs typically included the figure of a naked man surrounded by the signs of the zodiac. The purpose of this “anatomy,” or “man of signs,” was to correlate the parts of the body with the astrological signs that governed them. Often the man was shown with his abdomen cut open and his intestines exposed—either to facilitate linking them to their star-sign (Virgo) or because the abdominal flaps helped to conceal his genitals (Scorpio). The “man of signs” is found in English and American almanacs dating back to the seventeenth century; the image is based on classical and medieval astrology (Kittredge 1904, 53–61).
227.6 “Come, step lively!”] The standard exhortation from train conductors such as those of the Manhattan Elevated Railway to move passengers off and onto the trains (see AutoMT1, 620 n. 411.5–6).