CHILDERS_Absurd Proposals

by Richard F. Weyand

  "I understand, Admiral. And do you think – you personally think – it's a good idea?"

  "I have not seen any other proposal that does not either include us as a galactic policeman, against growing resistance, or back in the same spot we were ten years ago, so I would have to say, Yes, Ma'am, I think it's a good idea."

  "Thank you, Admiral Durand."

  Desai looked at her precisely written notes, then back up to Jan.

  "That's all I have, Admiral Childers. I will be looking forward to reading the detailed proposal. Thank you."

  With that, Desai simply got up and walked out of the room.

  Earth Again

  About ten days after the GMD proposal meeting, Chairman Desai called Jan at her office in the NOC.

  "Madam Chairman."

  "Hello, Admiral. I've read your proposal thoroughly, and have had some other people look at it as well."

  "Any questions?"

  "No, not at the moment. Admiral Durand's people did their usual good work in putting it together, so it's pretty thorough. However, I think I should probably talk about this with President Turner. Do you think you could arrange that for me?"

  "Certainly, Ma'am. When and where?"

  "He came here last time, so it's only fair this meeting be on Earth at a location of his choice. The Council is not in session, so my time is freer than it might be, and most anything can be rescheduled around something this important. Last time was certainly at our convenience, so this one should probably be at his. Give us the whole day, please."

  "Yes, Ma'am. Anything else?"

  "I think we should probably send this proposal document on ahead. Give him at least a week. I would like his considered opinion of it, and not catch him flat-footed. Last time we had little choice. And you and Admiral Campbell should plan on attending as well."

  "Yes, Ma'am. I should be able to get a date within twenty-four hours."

  "Excellent, Admiral. Desai out."

  Jan sent the following message to Turner:

  FROM: CHILDERS

  TO: TURNER

  SUBJECT: MEETING

  DESAI REQUESTS ONE-DAY MEETING W/YOU ON EARTH AT YOUR CONVENIENCE. ONE WEEK OUT OR MORE.

  Four hours later, she received the following message back:

  FROM: TURNER

  TO: CHILDERS

  SUBJECT: MEETING

  IS THIS ANOTHER CHILDERS SPECIAL?

  WEDNESDAY NEXT WEEK IS GOOD.

  Jan laughed and fired back a reply.

  FROM: CHILDERS

  TO: TURNER

  SUBJECT: MEETING

  YES. SEE ATTACHED.

  SEE YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY.

  Four more hours, and she received the following:

  FROM: TURNER

  TO: CHILDERS

  SUBJECT: MEETING

  WOW! IT SURE IS. THANKS FOR THE HEADS UP.

  SEE YOU NEXT WEDNESDAY.

  She followed up with a message to Desai.

  FROM: CHILDERS

  TO: DESAI

  SUBJECT: MEETING

  NEXT WEDNESDAY. DEPART TUESDAY 19:00 FROM CHAIRMAN'S RESIDENCE. RETURN WEDNESDAY BY 24:00.

  Desai's response was characteristically immediate and short:

  FROM: DESAI

  TO: CHILDERS

  SUBJECT: MEETING

  OK THX

  That night was Monday, but it was a nice evening, and they decided to sit out on the porch for a little while, even though it was a "work night."

  "I need to tell you, you're going with me on a little trip next week," Jan said.

  "Where we going?" Bill asked.

  "Earth. Desai wants to meet with Turner. She had me send the proposal ahead."

  "That's not exactly a little trip. To Earth, with Desai, to meet with Turner? You mean this could really happen?"

  "All she said was she wanted to talk with him about it, and I should send the proposal ahead because she wanted his 'considered opinion,'" Jan said.

  "She wants him to have time to have all his people look at it."

  "That's what I figure. And she's bringing her people, too. Howell, Wong, Harrigan. She said to bring you. I imagine Durand will go as well."

  "What ship are you taking?" Bill asked.

  "Ships. Shiva and Devi. Shiva is the class leader, and Admiral Zhang's ship. I can't deny Harmony the opportunity to have Desai express her gratitude for the Tenerife operation personally. But Shiva's flag deck is occupied, and we have a crowd along. Devi's flag deck is empty."

  "So there's a bunch of high mucky-muck cabins available on Devi."

  "Exactly," Jan said.

  "So who goes where?"

  "We can put Desai, Howell, and Harrigan on Shiva, and all us Navy types – Wong, Durand, you, me – can go on Devi. We'll take the shuttle to Shiva first, and then go on to Devi. That limits the amount of maneuvering the ground-pounders have to put up with. Then do it backwards on the way down."

  "Wong's a grounder, too, though," Bill said.

  "Yeah, but the Navy's his, so he can afford to learn a little."

  Jan picked up her cup of tea and sipped at it. There was just a little steam coming off of it as the evening air cooled.

  "I can't believe Desai is going to Earth to talk to Turner about this," Bill said.

  "Why? Turner came here."

  "Yeah, but he was Earth navy. Oh, yeah, interplanetary. Not a big deal. I'm not sure how much Desai has traveled. It means she really is serious about this."

  "She's still looking for a reason why it can't work, and she hasn't found it yet," Jan said.

  "You think?"

  "Yep."

  "Well, that's something," Bill said.

  Jan reached out and patted his arm.

  "It was a good idea."

  "Your idea."

  "No, you proposed the whole setup," Jan said.

  "Yeah, a very rough setup, and you saw all the holes in it and kept shooting it down until I stumbled on a setup you liked."

  "All right, all right. Everybody keeps calling it my idea. Just so long as you and I know whose idea it really was."

  "Yep. Yours," Bill said.

  Jan punched his arm. Bill laughed.

  The shuttle touched down on the pad on top of the Chairman's Residence in Commonwealth Center. Aboard were Durand, Jan, and Bill. Once it was down, Chairman Desai, Minister Howell, Minister Wong, and Minister Harrigan came out of the elevator bay and walked across to the shuttle. The shuttle load officer saluted Desai and greeted them as he assisted them aboard.

  "Madam Chairman."

  "Hello, Admiral Childers. I have to admit, the little girl in me is excited about this trip."

  Jan laughed.

  "You'll be happy to know, Ma'am, the little girl in me always is," Jan said.

  "Really."

  Jan nodded. They all took their seats, and the load officer gave each of the new arrivals an anti-weightlessness-sickness pill. Desai looked over to Jan.

  "Every time, Ma'am. Being sick in zero gravity is no fun at all."

  Desai laughed.

  "I imagine not."

  Desai took the pill and dropped the empty paper cup into the small trash bag held out to her by the load officer. The others followed suit.

  "Whenever he's ready, Lieutenant."

  "Yes, Ma'am."

  The load officer went forward, and soon the shuttle engines spooled up and they lifted off the pad. Desai watched the view out of the port with interest. The pilot rotated the shuttle through a full rotation as they lifted so his window passengers could see the view in all directions. Jan made a note to commend the pilot's consideration for new spacers to Captain Jacoby of the Devi.

  They made the trip to orbit with a number of oohs and aahs from Desai, Howell, Wong, and Harrigan. At first it had surprised Jan they had so little spacing experience, and then it sank in. With an average of a month each way in transit, high-ranking ministers simply couldn't afford the time to go anywhere. They had the capability now, but until the Tenerife incident, they h
ad been keeping the new cruiser destroyers pretty well under wraps.

  Now the cat was out of the bag, though, the Shiva and Devi had moved in from their ready-response position at their hyperspace-1 limit to normal planet orbit. They had also timed their orbit insertion so they would be above Jezgra when their passengers departed. The shuttle trip was therefore short, only about forty-five minutes.

  "We're going to have some people come aboard and basically tow you into the ship in the zero gravity," Jan told Desai and her ministers. "It's tricky if you haven't done it before. The trick is, when you get to the stairs, go down them as normally as possible, pulling yourself down with the handrails to keep your feet on the stairs. Your gravity will gradually increase as you go down."

  The crew managed to get them all into the ship and down the first flight of stairs to the elevator that took them to the top level of the crew cylinder, the flag deck. The elevator was a luxury not possible in a ship that had fold-out crew cylinders. The crew didn't use it moving about ship, but it was handy for moving equipment and stores between decks, and of course for the occasional civilian VIP.

  The crew also brought their overnight bags aboard and took them to their assigned cabins.

  "Madam Chairman, Ministers, I'd like you to meet Admiral Harmony Zhang, commanding Squadron 201," Jan said.

  "It's good to meet you, Admiral. I reviewed with interest your action in Tenerife, including your communications with the Becker commander, Admiral Chastain. I wanted to personally commend you on the way that was handled," Desai said.

  "Thank you, Ma'am."

  The introductions proceeded, and then Jan addressed the guests.

  "The rest of us will be traveling on the Devi, Ma'am, Ministers. The crew here will show you to your cabins. I would recommend you change into pajamas for the trip and sleep during transit so you are fresh for your meetings. You'll be able to get three sleep cycles in. Dial up the VR to full immersion, or the 2.6g acceleration during the trip will be uncomfortable. And there'll be a plumbing connection to make, and another pill to take, but there are medical staff standing by to help you with that. While you're doing that, we're going to transfer to the Devi."

  "Thank you, Admiral."

  As they moved from the flag bridge to the cabins, Jan had a word with Desai alone.

  "Your husband and I arranged a little present for you for the trip, Ma'am. When you log into the VR, select program ten to open it."

  "How thoughtful. Thank you, Admiral."

  Of course she didn't know what it was yet. Jan just smiled.

  "You're welcome, Ma'am. We'll see you at Earth."

  Wong, Durand, Bill, and Jan retraced their steps to the shuttle for the transfer to Devi. Their shuttle passed one of the shuttles from the Shiva, which was standing by to retake its place on the shuttle rack. A shuttle crew had taken it out from the Shiva to open a rack for the Devi's shuttle. The crew maneuvered it back to its rack as the Devi's shuttle returned to the Devi. Wong, Durand, Bill, and Jan transferred aboard and took their cabins.

  Desai changed into pajamas and took the high-gravity pill. The nurse cautioned her on the timing of taking the antagonist. The nurse also assisted her in making the plumbing connection and strapped her into the flotation bed. Desai logged into the VR, dialed it up to full immersion, and selected program ten. It was a full simulation of her bedroom in the Chairman's Residence, including her husband asleep and snoring beside her.

  How delightful! Desai thought.

  She dialed the sound level down to twenty-five percent.

  I wish I had that at home.

  She was fast asleep in minutes.

  Considered Opinion

  "They'll be here tomorrow. So what do you think of this proposal?" Turner asked his ministers. Secretary of State Malcolm Aubrey, Secretary of Defense Jorge Hernandez, and Attorney General Abe Goldberg were all present, as was Turner's aide, Fred Murphy.

  "Well, it's certainly a novel approach," Aubrey said.

  "This is Jan's idea, I think," Hernandez said.

  "I asked her flat out in a message if this was another Childers special, and she said, 'Yes,'" Turner said.

  "Still, there's been a lot of work put into this. I know hundreds of staff hours when I see it," Hernandez said.

  "Unlike the colony proposal, which was much less worked through when they brought it to us. Or us to it, I suppose," Aubrey said.

  "The colony proposal had the advantage it was primarily a statement of intent, and we could work out details as we went along, which we did. We don't have that luxury here. This has to be pretty complete before we implement anything. We are talking about transferring military equipment to this entity, after all," Hernandez said.

  "All that said, what do you think? Can this work?" Turner asked.

  "I think so," Aubrey said. "Just like anyone else, it would tie our hands from launching a war of aggression, so it does limit our foreign policy options in that sense."

  "Yes, and it would tie the hands of all future Earth administrations from waging a war of aggression as well. I don't think that's a bad thing. And it's not like it hasn't happened before. Jorge and I were involved in one of those not so long ago, after all," Turner said.

  "With a setup like this, our fleet would have been torn apart within hours of arriving in Jablonka," Hernandez said.

  "Or they would have warned us off and made a demonstration, like the Commonwealth did in Tenerife and we did in Guernsey. Or, more likely, knowing in advance what would happen, we simply wouldn't have gone. And if you're not going to use a fleet, why have one?" Turner asked.

  "Of course, that's one of the goals of this whole structure. If no one can use a fleet outside their own system, and they don't need one to protect their own system, why spend the money on having one?" Aubrey asked.

  "Or on doing the research to enhance its capabilities. She really is trying to break the cycle with this organization," Hernandez said.

  "What about you, Abe? Can this work?" Turner asked.

  "From a strictly legal point of view, yes. The shareholders themselves are the ones being protected. In that sense, it's not unlike a shareholder-owned insurance company. You know, a mutual insurance fund. There was one legal question raised in the document," Goldberg said.

  "Yes, whether a corporation can be established within Earth law in such a way the by-laws can't be changed," Turner said.

  "Correct. With that prompt, we have looked into it. It can be done, and in fact has been done and upheld in the courts in the past. It's not done very often, but yes, there is a way to do it. You do need to make sure the unchangeable part of the by-laws are just the way you want them from the start, of course," Goldberg said.

  "OK, that's good to know," Turner said.

  He looked down at his printout of the document, over a hundred pages worth. Yes, he was old-fashioned, but he liked working with paper. It went back to his Navy days, where some things had to be available on paper in case the computers fritzed out in the back of beyond.

  "What about you, Fred? What do you think of the proposal?" Turner asked.

  "It's what I would expect from Admiral Childers, Sir. For one thing, it's subtle as hell," Murphy said.

  "You mean the transfer payments, the incentives, or the board?" Turner asked.

  "All that and more. It's the sort of multi-layered, multi-purpose plan with not-so-obvious long-range goals I've come to expect from her," Murphy said.

  "Transfer payments? Incentives?" Aubrey asked.

  Murphy looked at Turner and raised an eyebrow.

  "Go ahead, Fred," Turner said.

  "OK, so on the surface this is a mutual-defense corporation funded by mail and freight charges, but there are several things going on here that don't jump right out on the surface. One is the one we already mentioned. If you can't use your navy outside your system, and you don't need it inside your system, then why have one? But the subtler point is that without the pressure of these ongoing conflicts, the pace of war research
slows to a crawl. The technological superiority we have now may just remain if everyone stops working on new stuff. Why bust yourself and spend all that money researching the new stuff, if your own corporation already has it? Especially if Earth and the Commonwealth are real low-key about it. Like if we started downsizing our military, for example. There are incentives all around to back off from waging or even preparing for war, from the most successful fighter of war in generations. So a lot of subtlety, and more than a little irony there," Murphy said.

  "Just because she's good at it doesn't mean she likes it," Turner said.

  "True enough. Next item, the transfer payments. The corporation collects fees for mail and shipping. These will be collected primarily from big economies, like Earth, the Commonwealth planets, the larger Outer Colonies. But this corporation is going to make money, lots of money, and the dividends get paid out equally to every planet. Which amounts to transfer payments to small colonies, forever. As those colonies grow, their balance of payments will shift, they'll become net contributors to the corporation, and they will join the planets funding colonization. It amounts to a long-term subsidy to human expansion, which will really help colonies grow both in number and size. Basically, the stay-at-homes end up subsidizing the more adventurous to go out and expand human civilization.

  "Next item, the incentives. From what I just said, you might expect the Outer Colonies to object to funding the New Colonies. But they won't. What are they going to object to? Getting a free share of the stock in this corporation? Getting paid dividends? Having their systems defended for free? Of course, they will be paying for mail and freight service, but they do that now anyway, and it's all sort of ad hoc, one-off stuff, and expensive. By having one, uniform, universal mail and freight service, they actually will pay less. And they won't have to even field a navy if they don't want to. And more and more systems will decide they don't want to, when all their navy can do is space around in their own system, and watch when this organization comes in to defend them for free. All that money will remain in their economies to be spent on other things.