by Brooke May
“I’m really glad you’re here.” My body warms from the hot, deep timbre of his voice.
I smile as I reclaim my hand. I need to keep a straight head if I plan to get my questions out. “Let’s go.” I jerk my chin to the museum. Chamberlain grabs my hand again and pulls it to wrap around his bicep, pulling me closer to him.
So much for a clear head.
It is quiet in the museum for a weekday morning, so Chamberlain and I walk around some exhibits in silence, getting comfortable with one another’s presence before we dive in. I’m trying to muster up my first question when Chamberlain asks his.
“Why are you here, Katie?”
I look up into his eyes, and those beautiful dark blue eyes regard me sadly. “Because this is where my father sent me.”
“How did this all happen?” He pulls me closer as if he senses this is hard for me. My body accepts his comfort and strangely, so does my mind.
“The night of your fight …” I trail off and look around to check for eavesdroppers.
“What about it?”
“I came home from it to find my parents and sister waiting in my room. They had my pregnancy test.” I remember it all so clearly. “They demanded I get rid of the baby, but I couldn’t do that. Even though I just learned about her, I wanted her so badly.” My eyes begin to well with tears, and my nose burns as I hold them back.
“I tried calling you,” he whispers, stopping us to cup my face.
“My father took my phone away from me, along with my computer. I had no way of reaching you. I didn’t have your number memorized. Even if I had wanted to call you, I couldn’t,” I offer apologetically. “He told me to pack everything I owned, and I was gone by morning. My Aunt Jackie, my father’s little sister, was at the airport here waiting for me when I landed.”
Chamberlain searches my eyes. “Why didn’t you just stay at the fight?”
And there it is.
I let out a struggled breath and step out of his hold. I need my space for this. I start to walk again, ready to move onto a different exhibit. “Why did you play me, Chamberlain?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” He growls, stomping up till he is alongside me.
“I’m talking about you toying with my heart. I fell in love with you, Chamberlain, and you ruined me,” I explain.
“I never did that.” He is being defensive.
“Chamberlain.” I stop and look at him again. “Yes, you did.” My resolve is starting to break.
“Katie … I love you,” he says softly, trying to pull me back to him.
But I don’t allow him to. “Where is Gwen?” I spit out her name. I still hurt too much from her.
“What?” He draws back, confused again.
“You heard me. Where is Gwen?” I need to know where she stands in his life if he wants anything to do with our daughter. I don’t trust Gwen with her.
Chamberlain stands straight and runs a hand through his hair after removing his worn hat. “I don’t know.” He offers a single shoulder shrug.
“How can you not know where she is?” I don’t get this. They were such great friends.
“She tried kissing me ... the ...” His eyes grow, and he’s figured out where I’m getting at now. “She kissed me after my fight … FUCK!” His shout echoes through the giant room. “You saw that, didn’t you?”
I give him a brittle nod. “Yes, and I saw you kiss her back.”
“Because I thought it was you! Even for that split second, I thought it was you. The moment I knew it wasn’t, I shoved her away. I felt nothing like I did—do—when I have you.”
My wall shatters. “You didn’t …?”
He shakes his head. “Fuck. No. I only saw you, Katie.” He steps back to me, and this time I don’t pull away. “Even after you disappeared, I still only saw you.”
“What happened afterward?” I need to know this too.
“She started acting differently around me and was saying shit about you that finally drove me crazy. I haven’t talked to her in years.”
“You mean—”
“She isn’t a part of my life anymore. She hasn’t been in almost four years.” He places his hands on my hips. “Scott and I packed our apartment up and put everything in storage. We started traveling for work. I deleted her number from my phone, and after a few months, she quit trying to reach me.”
“Oh.” I look down, feeling horrible. I condemned him for nothing.
“Hey.” He lifts my chin with his knuckles. “Don’t overthink this, Katie.”
“But—”
“I love you, Katie, and I hope to hell you still love me.” He kisses my nose. “I knew you loved me back then. You say the sweetest things in your sleep.” I go ice cold.
He knew.
I struggled so much to tell him, and he already knew!
All these years of wondering and he knew! Before I can say anything, he continues. “You said it to me that night at my grandparents’ cottage. Those are the best words I have ever heard,” he says wistfully.
A steady flood of tears pours from my eyes as I sink into his chest and sob hysterically. Chamberlain’s arms come around me, and he pulls me completely against him. Rubbing his hands up and down my back, he works to soothe me and my wrecked emotions. “We. Missed. So. Much.” I suck in breaths of air to try to collect myself, but it doesn’t work.
My pregnancy, my heartache, Marissa’s birth, and her life so far—all he has missed.
“I know.” He rubs his stubble-covered cheek against my smooth one. “I know.”
My hands are trapped between our bodies with just enough space to grab his shirt and anchor myself to him. I bury myself into his chest and realize I’m in my spot; the one place that always made me feel safe and secure along with desirable. I never want to leave this place again.
After four years, I feel complete once more.
As if he is reading my mind, he says, “I’m never letting you go again, Katie. From now on, it is you, Marissa, and me. Always.”
I nod into his chest. He needs to meet Marissa first. I need to know that he will be a great dad to her, to be there for her when she needs him most, and most of all, to love her unconditionally like she deserves. I pull back just enough to look up into his stunning blue depths, the same ones I see every time I look at our daughter, and find tears of his own.
“Are you busy tomorrow?”
“No,” he says quickly with complete certainty. “Unless it has something to do with my girls, I have no plans.”
His girls.
I love the sound of that.
“I would really like you to officially meet Marissa.” I nuzzle back into his chest. “Would you like to meet us at the aquarium? Marissa loves it there.”
“There is nothing I would rather do.” He runs the pad of his thumb over my bottom lip as I look back up at him. Lazily, my eyes close, and I tilt my head ever so slightly. I do my best to suppress a whimper.
I’m whole for the first time in forever. “She will love finally meeting you.”
Chapter Twelve
Katie
“ARE YOU SURE about this?” Beth watches me from my bed as I buzz around, getting ready to meet Chamberlain with Marissa. I’m a wired ball of excitement. After Chamberlain and I had talked for three and a half hours yesterday, we settled on meeting at the aquarium today so he could get to know Marissa.
I feel horrible for jumping to conclusions with what I witnessed four years ago. I should have tried to find a way to reach him when I first arrived in Denver. I should have tried to see if he really did care for me and had nothing with Gwen.
Gwen.
I knew she disliked me and wanted Chamberlain, but I can’t believe she thought her friend would be okay with being a cheater. She was so desperate to have him that she turned into someone he didn’t even know. I feel better now knowing that she isn’t a part of his life anymore, but it doesn’t help my guilt over losing so much time with him. Time he could have had w
ith Marissa, with us as a family.
“Yes,” I say without hesitation. “We’ve wasted so much time. I’ve wasted so much time being angry and hurt that I went years without knowing the truth, Beth. I don’t want him, Marissa, or me to miss another hour.”
“If you’re sure.” Beth stands, hugs me, and gives me her serious look. “I don’t want to see either of you hurt.” I know she is referring to Marissa and me.
“We’ll be fine.” And I believe that. Chamberlain was always so caring and loving toward me, and I let my insecurities get in the way.
Not anymore.
I’m not scared anymore. I know now everything he went through to find me, to get me back, and the years he spent wondering and worrying about me.
Marissa comes striding into my room just as I’m pulling away from Beth. She’s wearing a long white T-shirt with a kitten on the front with black leggings, her pink flip-flops, and her hair in pigtails that she let me curl.
“I reedy, Mommy.” My smile is warm and wide as take her in. When I came home yesterday, I told her that she was going to go to the aquarium. She was thrilled. I thought I would leave the part out about her daddy being there to surprise her. She only knows Chamberlain from some of the stories I have told her and his picture in her room. She talks to it every night before bed. That was how she knew who Chamberlain was when we saw him at the water park the other day.
“I’ll leave you two to head out.” Beth kisses Marissa and gives me another hug. “Call me if you need help,” she whispers in my ear. “Otherwise, I want to hear about everything.” She winks and then leaves my room.
“I will.” Looking back at my little girl, I feel my resolve only grow that I’m doing the right thing. “Ready to go?” I offer her my hand.
“YES!” Marissa jumps up and down before grabbing my hand and dragging me out of the room.
“Oh, all right.” I laugh as we head down the hallway, the stairs, and out the door after saying good-bye to Karmin.
We try to get to the aquarium at least twice a year. It is a special treat for her and for me as well. One trip is always on her birthday, and our other trip is my birthday. She was surprised when I told her about it when I came home. She knows it isn’t her birthday, and it is nowhere near mine. But it doesn’t stop her from musing.
“‘S not you birfday, Mommy.”
“I know, baby doll. But today is a really special day for you, and I thought we would make it even more special by having it at your favorite place.” I look up at her in the rearview mirror. Her little legs are kicking as she stares out the window.
“Otay.”
“Great,” I mutter to myself as I pull into the parking lot and get us both out. There are several school buses, meaning it is going to be busy. I usually let Marissa walk, but with the crowds, I keep her close. Luckily, I keep an umbrella stroller in the trunk just in case. It also helps when she gets tired.
“We won’t be needing that.” My hand flies to my chest, and I jump almost hitting my head on the trunk as Chamberlain’s voice startles me. I must have been too busy getting the stroller unhooked from my trunk netting to feel him come up behind me.
“Jesus, Chamberlain.” Turning and finding an amused smile on his still handsome face, I lean into the trunk, trying to settle my erratic heartbeat.
“You otay, Mommy?” Marissa asks from her open door. I never unlatch her until I’m good and ready. She gets too excited and will run off.
“I’m good, baby doll.” Breathing deeply and then releasing it, I look back at Chamberlain. “Are you ready to meet your daughter?”
“Oh, hell, yes.”
“Watch your language. She’s a sponge.” I shoot him a warning look as I close the trunk and walk around to Marissa’s door to get her down. “Marissa.” I crouch down when I set her on the ground and fix her shirt. I place one hand on her back and the other on her tummy. She isn’t looking at me; her wide blue eyes are staring up at the person who gave her those beauties. “I would like you to meet someone.”
Chamberlain comes down to our level, wearing the warmest, widest smile on his face. “Hi, Marissa.”
“Marissa.” Choking up is not how I wanted to do with this. “This is Chamberlain Lawrence, your daddy.”
She doesn’t move, her eyes don’t blink, and if it wasn’t for her chest moving, I would be worried.
“It’s nice to meet you, little beauty.” He speaks softly to her. He reaches out and touches her little round cheek. When his hand touches her flesh, she snaps out of it and quickly turns to me. I give her my most encouraging smile. She never has problems with new people, but she is with Chamberlain. I don’t think she realized how big he would be.
“It’s all right,” I whisper to her.
She looks back up at Chamberlain because, even on his haunches, he is still taller than she is. She glares a penetrating one that means she is in business mode, along with throwing her hands on her little hips. “Where you been?”
“Marissa Fiona,” I admonish her as I come around behind her and find Chamberlain shocked, his mouth is agape. “Are you okay, Chamberlain?”
“It is scary that I just saw a flash of my grandma?” He stands back up, shaking his head.
“You mean Grandma Peggy?” Marissa’s glare drops and is replaced with a smile.
He laughs. “Yes, like my Grandma Peggy.”
She rolls her eyes. “You goin’ answer me?” She is a tenacious little girl. She never forgets things and won’t let up till she has a clear answer.
“Marissa,” I scold her once more.
Chamberlain only continues to laugh. “It’s okay, panda.” He bends and picks Marissa up. She goes easy on him. “I’ve been really busy, but I promise that from now on, I’ll be here for you and your mommy.”
“You mean it?” Her head tilts, and her little fingers go to his hair at the base of his neck under his hat.
“Of course, I do.” He sets her on one of his shoulders. “Now, are you ready to go see some fish?”
“YAY!” I smile at them as we take off walking. “Glad you here, Daddy.”
Chamberlain’s falters a step as Marissa talks to him. I try to gauge his reaction, and worried he can’t take it, I rush around him only to find a tear slide down his face and an earthshattering smile in place.
“I am too, princess.” With his free hand, he grabs my hand and threads our fingers together before he kisses it. “I’m glad I have my girls.”
We manage to dodge the three school tours as we meander through the aquarium. My heart grows as I watch father and daughter together. They are like two peas in a pod. I didn’t realize it until they were side by side; they have a similar laugh even though Marissa’s is far sweeter.
This is the happiest I have ever seen her, and I know it is because she finally has a missing piece to her life as well—her daddy. As we move around looking at all the different fish, Marissa’s tiny hand stays encased in Chamberlain’s giant one when she isn’t sitting on his shoulders. My eyes well up with tears; Chamberlain is the best daddy, just as I knew he would be.
Why didn’t I just try to find him when I got here?
Instead, I let my hurt heart lead the way, and I kept my daughter from her daddy.
“What are your favorite fish?” Chamberlain’s question draws me back to them. I do my best to wipe my eyes without them seeing. Marissa doesn’t like it when I cry, and I know Chamberlain doesn’t either.
“The swharks!” She jumps up with a bubbled laugh.
“The sharks?” He laughs, amused. She loves the sharks. Me? I prefer the turtles. But this is Marissa’s day, so we are going to do what she wants, and that’s seeing the sharks. “I’m not sure where the sharks are.”
“‘Is way!” Marissa tugs his meaty arm, and off we go to the shark tank.
“Are you okay?” Chamberlain’s whispers to me as Marissa lets go of his hand and skips ahead of us.
“I’m fine.” I try to reassure him, but I can tell he isn’t buying
it.
“Bullshit.”
“I feel bad for keeping you two apart,” I answer.
“Katie.” Chamberlain tugs my hand and pulls me against him, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we continue to walk. “You were only protecting her and yourself. I get it, baby; I really do.” He nuzzles the shell of my ear, sending a wave of desire through my body and causing certain places to tighten. I cross my arms over my chest to try to hide my hardening nipples. “I would have done the same to protect the both of you.” His whisper has grown thick and lustful.
I look into his eyes; they confirm my suspicions about his own current mood. We still desire one another. “Chamberlain—”
“Wook how big ‘ey are!” Marissa’s excited scream cuts me off. I look away from him and leave his warmth to go stand next to her as she stares up at the zebra shark swimming past us.
“Not happening, Marissa Fiona.” I look down at her, putting a stop to the question I know is about to spill from her pouty lips.
“What’s not happening?” Chamberlain walks to us and stands behind us. One of his hands is on top of Marissa’s head, and the other is resting on my lower back.
“Swim with ‘em, Mommy.” She looks up at me and bats her long lashes.
“Not going to happen, Marissa.” I smile at her, shaking my head.
She then turns those pleading eyes to her daddy. “Daddy …”
It didn’t take her long to fall into this role.
“I’m with Mommy on this one, baby girl.” Chamberlain doesn’t even look down at her. I smile at him. He knows there would be no way he could resist her if he did. “It’s too dangerous for my little girl.”
“I tough.” She flexes her little arms. “See?”
“I know you are, Marissa, but you aren’t big enough to yet. Plus, you’re still learning to swim.” I kneel next to her. “Let’s just watch them for a little bit. Okay?”
“Oh, all wight.” She pouts and turns around to watch them swim. After a few minutes, the tank turns dark with blood. “FEEDING TIME!” She squeals with delight.