Miranda ran to Sandra and put her arms up to be picked up. “What time do you think you’ll be back?” Sandra asked.
He pulled them over for a hug. “Let’s not rush, okay? I’ll call Gwen and see when she is expecting us. Hopefully, it won’t be for lunch.”
Sandra was relieved. The workweek had been brutal. Tom’s mother made her life so easy, having dinner ready every night, doing grocery shopping for them, even cleaning the house although they hired a cleaning lady. All she had to do was come home. To have a leisurely Saturday was crucial.
Going to John and Gwen’s was not relaxing. Gwen was high energy, every minute packed with planned activities. They went for walks, to the zoo, to flea markets and farmers’ markets. She made a major production out of every meal, and it was never just a few items. She always had fresh baked goods for breakfast, bagels and lox, omelets, waffles. Sandra would be ready to explode, and two hours later Gwen would be telling her about their lunch plans, either a meal out at the latest new restaurant they found or something monumental that she was cooking. How she and John stayed so thin was a real mystery.
The only good thing about staying with them was that they both loved Miranda and never seemed to tire of running after her or entertaining her. Just thinking about the next two days was exhausting. Miranda was rubbing her eyes and whiney; they were both ready for a nap. But while Miranda was sleeping in her crib, Sandra called Pam.
“You have no idea what’s going on here,” Pam whispered into the phone.
Sandra’s ears perked up. “If I had been invited to spend the weekend, I would be there now, helping you through it.”
“Look, you never, ever have to ask. Just come now, for God’s sake. That ass of a son-in-law of mine was doing something in public that I think may have entailed his penis, and after he went off to jail last night, Dan came to the rescue. I haven’t heard a word from Lisa yet, since they left. Ed’s mother and father are here, and I have no idea what to say to them about why the kids left.
“But that’s not all. Julie Hsu called and gave me an earful. Brent’s supposed to be here this weekend, but I have no idea when, and as usual, he’s not answering his phone.”
Sandra felt awful about the bad vibes she’d been sending Pam when all along the poor woman was clearly having a terrible time.
“I don’t know what to say to you. Why now? Why both kids’ significant others being a-holes now?”
“I have no idea. Brent and Julie broke up, so she isn’t even involved anymore. Come over now if you want.”
“Tom went into the city for work, and then we’re due at Gwen’s. I’ll ask if they mind if we go early. Do you have room?”
“I’ll get rooms down the beach. Come,” Pam repeated.
It would work out that, as Sandra suspected, Gwen would have every second of the next two days planned, and they would only be going to Pam’s for Monday. But whenever they could, Pam and Sandra would speak on the phone for the latest updates.
***
By lunchtime, Ed was sitting leaning against the quartz countertops next to the farmhouse sink in Lisa’s lavish kitchen, drinking coffee. Little Megan was sitting in her highchair, trying to negotiate pieces of banana, missing her mouth most of the time. Lisa was still sleeping. Nerves shot, knowing his parents were probably wondering what was going on because they weren’t at the beach, he was afraid to wake Lisa up. He could hear water running upstairs, and breathed a sigh of relief. Then her footsteps on the stairs. She came into the kitchen, still in her nightgown.
Without saying good morning, she looked at Megan. “Is that all she’s had today?” she asked, referring to the banana.
“Yes, so far.”
Lisa flashed him a dirty look and started pulling little jars of food out of the refrigerator. “How’d you like it if all you had to eat all day was fruit? Has she had anything to drink?”
“She had a milk bottle at seven.”
“Ed, that’s not enough,” she said angrily. She opened a new jar of rice cereal and started feeding her with a tiny spoon. “Get a sippy cup with milk in it.”
Ed wanted to start screaming. He didn’t feel violence or aggression toward his wife, but the urge to scream and cry and kick things was overwhelming. He did as she said and got a sippy cup out of the cupboard, pouring milk into it, but he could never get the tops on correctly, and they always leaked all over the baby. Lisa grabbed it from him when she saw he was struggling.
“Give it to me,” she said. She saw his hands shaking, and although she hated what was happening to them, she was powerless to change it. She couldn’t go to Ed as she wanted, throw herself at him, begging him to be strong, to feel good about their life because he would just fuck up her effort by not responding. She was exhausted from trying to be his cheerleader, encouraging him and supporting him, trying not to make any demands on him.
The lack of intimacy in their relationship had taken such a toll on her, her most basic needs not met because he was unable to do so, and now when he really needed her to stand by him, she had to force it. But she was determined to be honest with him.
“I had a revelation last night after you fell asleep. I think that week on the boat, the week I thought we were falling in love, that you were so enamored of me, was nothing more than a very immature exploration of your own sexuality. The reality hit me like a bag of cement. I thought it was the ultimate in intimacy, and all it was, was a little boy in a big body playing doctor.” She looked over at Ed and was shocked to see that he was considering what she said. He wasn’t angry, or even shocked. He agreed with her.
“Part of that is probably true,” he said. The pain his easy acknowledgment of her statement made her heart jar in her chest. She was worried that fears that he might have emotional problems that had been undiagnosed were true.
“Why do you say that, Ed?” she asked, almost whispering. She offered Megan a sip of milk from the cup.
“We need to be completely honest with each other, okay? Please don’t start screaming at me.”
“I promise,” she said, not knowing how difficult that might be.
“I think I have some kind of mental illness.”
Lisa looked away, willing herself not to throw the sippy cup in his face.
“We probably would have been okay, but everything happened so quickly, with my stupidity not using protection while we were on the boat, and the stress of work and then the house renovation, I guess I just couldn’t handle it. But just for a second. If this arrest doesn’t destroy us, I think I’ll be okay.”
“We would not have been okay, Ed. Eventually, something would have happened.”
Lisa wasn’t sure, though. She didn’t know enough about it. Later, she’d discover that he had the characteristics of an adult with mental illness. She didn’t love that Ed, the childish Ed who made bad decisions. She wanted the Ed who tried so hard to please her, the Ed who worshiped her, who, for the first year of their life together would watch her bathe and insist on shaving her legs for her. It was so erotic, she still shivered when she thought of him doing it to her.
Then, one of the first signs of change, she discovered him shaving his own legs. “What are you doing?” she asked, shocked.
“I like how smooth yours feel, and I want mine to feel that way, too.”
Ed was a hard worker, but now that he’d decided to jack off in her mother’s car, he may not be employed much longer.
“I’m not sure we will be okay, Ed.” She fought the urge to yell at him; he was like a defenseless adolescent. “I think we need to call Dan right away and tell him. A diagnosis like this might get your arrest charge dropped, or whatever they call it.” She turned from him, thinking. She’d have to get him in to see her therapist right away. He had another week of school; if they didn’t find out about the arrest, he could finish off the last week. It would look good on his record.
“Keep an eye on Megan, please,” she said, now aware that he might not be capable of parenting without some kind
of supervision. The thought gave her the chills. She had a lot to learn. She went into the den and closed the sliding doors. The enormity of what she’d taken on, buying this ridiculous house and the renovations she’d insisted he participate in, being a parent, and now being the wife of a man who may require more support than she was capable of giving, flooded her. She picked up the house phone and dialed Pam’s number.
“Mom, I think we’re in trouble here,” she said.
“You are in trouble,” Pam’s unfiltered reply blasted. “You’ve also got Ed’s parents here, pacing the floor.”
“I need to speak to Dan,” Lisa said, trying to keep her voice low. “You can admonish me all you want later.”
“Lisa, you need to deal with this on your turf. I’m sending your in-laws to your house. What you choose to reveal to them is completely up to you. And Dan would be more than happy to talk to you when he’s not entertaining fifteen of his closest friends and family.” In the past, Pam would have dropped everything for Lisa, even cancelling the picnic. But not anymore. And whatever it was that was unfolding at Lisa’s house needed to stay there.
“Mother, I don’t think you realize the magnitude of what we are faced with.”
“Yes, yes, I do, Lisa. But nothing is going to happen this weekend. Dan has already assured me that Tuesday will roll around soon enough, and at that time he will do what he can for Ed. But in the meantime, if you have issues that need to be dealt with now, your in-laws top the list.”
“So what are you saying? You won’t let me talk to Dan?”
“No, I’ll give him your message, and when he gets a free moment, I’m sure he’ll call you back. In the meantime, get ready for Gladys and Big Ed.”
“I need you right now, Mother,” Lisa said, sobbing into the phone.
Pam sighed. Her daughter was determined, if nothing else.
“And I am so sorry I can’t be there for you, Lisa. If this had happened any other time but the Memorial Day picnic, you know I would do whatever you needed.”
Lisa doubted it, but decided to buck it up. Her mother was not budging.
“Whatever. Please have Dan call as soon as he can.” She hung up without saying goodbye. Having to grow up suddenly, the backup you always depended on refusing to help as Pam had just done; Lisa knew she had no one but herself to rely on.
She tried to focus on the basics. Ed was her husband. They’d had an immediate attraction, no matter what the psychological explanation for it was. He was a great teacher who had the respect of his peers and students, whose parents loved him. Everything about Ed was sweet and pure. Except for two things: he’d quickly gotten sick of conjugal sex and had masturbated in front of a cop. If she could keep her eye on the fact that she was married to him and that she took her vows seriously, she would get through this day. One day at a time. She’d do all the cliché things she’d heard older people did to get through life. Taking one day at a time, deep breathing, do unto others, be kind in every word and deed. Just the laundry list of those things brought her to tears. She was so selfish and unkind. Why did it take a tragedy like this to wake her up? Get real, your husband just pulled his dick out at the wrong time, she said to herself. No one died.
Grabbing the phone again, she quickly dialed Pam’s number. “Mother, I apologize for being ungrateful,” she said after Pam said hello. “I’m truly sorry for expecting so much. Thank you for trying to help me.”
Pam was flabbergasted, but Gladys Ford was hovering over her, so she kept it short. “Honey, that’s fine. Gladys and Ed are on their way over now.”
Lisa said goodbye this time. Oh fuck, what am I going to say to Ed’s parents? Then she thought of Ed. They’re his parents; he should tell them. She walked back into the kitchen trying for a kind look on her face, but Ed was wary.
“Oh dear, your folks are on their way over here from my mother’s. I guess we better decide what we need to tell them.”
Ed almost threw up. “Why do we have to tell them anything?” he asked. “Nothing has happened yet.”
“My mother doesn’t want this drama at her house when it’s full of people,” she answered. “This is our problem; we need to deal with it now. I’ll help you.” She went to him and embraced him. “Be patient with me, okay, honey? I love you no matter what happens.”
He reluctantly put his arm up to hold her in return.
What more could happen?
Chapter 7
With the first holiday of the tourist season, the little town where Ted’s cabin was located bustled with excitement. With Saturday arrival at vacation homes around the area, grocery stores in the village overflowed with customers. Ashton just had to use fresh porcini mushrooms in his beef stroganoff. Traffic was horrible, and there was no place to park in the lot in the back or along the streets surrounding the store.
“Just drop me off here and circle,” he said to Zach.
“Do you want me to come in with you?” Natalie asked. She was afraid he’d take hours to shop if she didn’t rein him in.
“No, I can manage. I’ll be right back,” he said, opening the door and jumping out of the car. The driver of the car behind Zach beeped his horn, so Zach took off.
“What should I do?” he asked. “I hate to circle with all this traffic.”
Natalie leaned forward to look at the parking situation on the street ahead. “Pull up in the next block, and we can sit there and wait. I’ll text him to call us when he’s done.” Natalie hated that Ashton was already monopolizing her time. She had plans for the first day, and it wasn’t sitting in a car waiting for him. He insisted she go for the ride, “In case we come across a garage sale.”
“This is not the way I wanted to spend my only day up here,” Zach said, echoing her thoughts. “I have to get back by five tomorrow.”
“Tell him no the next time he wants you to chauffeur him. It’s ridiculous; we brought enough food from the city for twenty people.” Natalie was trying to relax. She hated waiting for people, and hated waiting in an overheated car more. Unexpectedly, a pickup truck drove by just as the tourist trolley came from the other direction, and the truck clipped the side of the Hummer. Natalie yelped, and Zach screamed.
“What the hell!” He tried the door, and it opened without difficultly.
The pickup truck stopped just ahead, and a very attractive, fiftyish man hopped out of the car and ran toward them. He was not very tall, probably not more than five-nine and on the stocky side of medium build. He had thick, sandy hair—Ted would hate it, his own hair thinning on top—and dark green eyes.
“I’m so sorry,” he exclaimed. “I saw that trolley coming toward me with all of those human arms flailing, and I couldn’t get past your car fast enough. I’ve got insurance.”
Natalie got out of the car to survey the damage, it was minimal, and saw that Zach was sticking out into the road at least a foot, but the man never placed the blame on him.
He thumbed through his wallet and handed Zach a business card with his information on it.
Natalie glanced over the card and saw that he was the local police chief. “Oh.” She giggled. “I guess we don’t need to call the police.”
“We’d better,” the man said, looking at Natalie. Reaching into his pocket, he got a phone out and punched some numbers in. “You’ll need a report for your insurance company.”
“This is a rental, too,” Zach said.
“All the more reason,” the man said, still looking at Natalie. He stuck his hand out to shake Zach’s while he waited for the phone to pick up. “Ben Lawson.” Then he reached over to Natalie and took her hand, but his call had been answered, and while he held onto her hand, he spoke into the phone and looked up at the building for an address to give the dispatcher. Mumbling his words, his voice sounded like it was underwater to Natalie. She prayed she wouldn’t faint, her hand lingered in his, and they didn’t pull away from each other. His skin was dry and smooth. She was so glad she’d done her nails and just washed her hands in lavender soap b
efore they’d left for the store. He looked into her eyes while he asked for a patrol car to come to the location.
“Ben Lawson,” he said again when he’d hung up from his call, pressing the off button and putting his phone in a pocket with one hand. He still had Natalie’s hand in his grip. “And you are?”
“Hi, my name’s Natalie Borg.” When she said it, she realized how stupid it sounded and burst out laughing, her loudest, most guttural laugh.
“Natalie? Beautiful name.” He smiled at her, and his sincerity mixed with teasing shone through. “What are you doing here today?” He glanced at Zach to include him. “Besides getting your car sideswiped.”
“We just got in from the city and needed to pick up a few things, but there’s no place to park by the store.” Natalie felt like a gauche, fumbling fool. It was obvious there was no place to park.
“I’ll let Ashton know what happened,” Zach said, leaving so they could be alone. It was obvious the man was interested.
“Do you live in the city?” Ben Lawson asked.
“Yes, born and bred,” Natalie answered. “I’ve worked there all my life. This is the first time I’ve ever been out of the city.”
“I’ve heard real New Yorkers never leave.”
“I’ve just never had the opportunity,” she said softly. “Have you always lived here?”
“I have. A true local.”
“I’ve read about your type,” Natalie said. “But thought it must be an urban legend.”
They laughed together, and that was when Natalie realized he was still holding her hand. She had to fight not to pull it up to her chest to hold there. But she didn’t let go. She prayed Ashton would stay in the store for another hour.
“Will you have coffee with me after we do the report? I mean unless the Ashton you’re waiting for is your husband.”
Boom, boom, boom, Natalie’s heart was doing weird things in her chest as the adrenaline surged.
The Tao of Pam: Pam of Babylon Book # 6 Page 9