“Is that a no then?” Faolan laughed and took the opportunity to pull his shirt off. “That was pretty fast for a first try. Better than both of us at least.”
“I had a good target.” Gar held the stone in the palm of his hand, surprised by the warmth. “Do you have to keep focused on the target?”
Maybe I’ll ride you again or let you fuck me in the chair.
“Nope, once you make the connection the stone seems to maintain it. You only need to take the stone off to break it though.”
Gar’s cock jumped to life at the thoughts now bombarding his brain. “I don’t think sex would be a good idea considering you were spacesick just a little over an hour ago.”
Not spacesick.
Gar snapped his head up, but Faolan didn’t seem to register the thought which had bounced through his mind at hyperspeed pace. The pirate was rummaging through a drawer and pulled out a black, long-sleeve shirt. Gar knew there was more to things that what Faolan had alluded to. He relaxed his mind, hoping to pick up another glimpse of what Faolan was hiding.
“I told you it was nothing. Besides, it would be a shame to waste a perfect opportunity like this.”
The thought want to jerk your cock so I can watch you come nearly bled over the softer one of don’t want him to see. Gar didn’t miss it. Faolan didn’t realize exactly what was slipping through the cracks and being hauled in by the stone.
“What opportunity is that?” Gar moved closer, making an effort to move slowly while he concentrated on the words. “I’ve seen your ass, remember?”
“But I haven’t shown you all the tricks I can do with that ass. Not to mention the things I can do to yours.”
Gods, I want to make him feel so good. I’m hungry.
The utter randomness of the logic jumps were making it difficult for Gar to continue with the conversation. Still, there was something wrong with Faolan and he wasn’t about to let an opportunity to discover what it was to slip away. With Faolan now changing his pants, Gar moved, careful to stay out of his line of sight.
“Well, I don’t want to start something, old man, and have you not able to finish. Nothing worse than a lover who runs out of steam halfway through, leaving me to finish off on my own.”
Won’t be there for anyone. Not much longer.
“Shit, Faolan!”
They both froze. Faolan frowned and reached for the stone. Gar moved back, protecting it with his hand. “No.”
“What’s going on, Gar? Not thinking of running out on me? I’d hate to kill you now.”
Better not. Please don’t. Mace will hate you.
“I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s going on.” Gar squeezed the stone until the edges cut into his palm. “What is wrong with you?”
Dying. “There’s nothing wrong with me. Now take that bloody thing off.”
“What?” The world bottomed out for Gar. His knees weakened and his heart pushed the blood through his body at a maddening pace. “You’re…what?”
Gar knew the moment Faolan realized he’d screwed up. The older man closed his eye, smiling softly. “Gar, don’t do this.”
“No! After everything that’s passed between us, everything that’s happened today with Mace, I think I’ve earned the right to know. Now tell me.”
Faolan sighed. I’m dying. “Sorry. I’m so sorry.”
Chapter Twelve
“Please, Gar, take the stone off and we’ll talk.”
Faolan wasn’t exactly sure what he let slip through to get them to this point, but he didn’t want to have this conversation and be at an unfair disadvantage. Really, he was surprised this hadn’t happened sooner in his earlier tests with Mace. He’d been too busy flirting, too cocky in his ability to control his thoughts and feelings, and had forgotten that Gar brought out another side of him. Things were still new, untested and now the fragile relationship they’d somehow built was in danger of shattering.
Without further prompting, Gar reached behind his neck and undid the chain’s clasp. He held out the stone, his hand trembling slightly as he waited for Faolan to reclaim his prize.
“Thanks,” he muttered, careful to only touch the chain. “I’ll just put this away and then we can discuss things.”
It only bought him a little bit of time, but Faolan planned on using every second he could to collect his thoughts. This really shouldn’t be a difficult task. Gar wasn’t as close to him as Mace or the rest of the crew were. Their few days together, although giving Faolan some of the best sex he’d had in years, shouldn’t mean anything more to him than a casual encounter he could easily walk away from.
He couldn’t.
“Mind if I sit?” Faolan sauntered over to his chair, pushed the pile of clothing on top of it to the floor and sank down into it. “I need to know exactly what you heard.”
Gar continued to stand in the middle of the room. He wasn’t looking at any one particular thing, but Faolan was sad to note the young man’s gaze didn’t come his way either.
“You said you were dying.”
Idiot. “We’re all dying in one way or another. You know that.”
“Faolan, don’t.” Gar’s voice lacked all of his normal self-confidence and his blue eyes had grown impossibly wide. “Just tell me what is going on.”
He didn’t want to say the words, knowing the moment he did, it would make them true. He’d been fighting it for so long, the illusion of health giving him strength to continue.
“Last year I pulled a scam on one of the Loyalist colonist administrators. It was simple. Go in posing as an outlander colonist security detail, make some offers of providing information and snatch a cache of ID datapads on the way out the door. What I hadn’t realized was the bastard recognized me from one of the security bulletins a few months earlier.”
“Shit,” Gar muttered.
“To put it mildly. He poisoned my food. Small dose, just enough to put me out of commission long enough so he could collect the bounty on my head—and more than enough to leave my immune system in shreds.” Faolan finally looked away from the pained expression on Gar’s face to study his lifeline. “I’ve been taking what meds I can find here and there to prolong things, but I’m fighting a losing battle.”
“Is there a cure?”
Faolan ignored the heavy emotion in Gar’s voice. “Probably, but I’ll be damned if I can find one. It’s not like I have access to the best doctors the Loyalist colonies have to offer.”
“And the man?”
“Dead. Was killed when Ricoh came in and saved me.”
“Good.”
A rustle of clothing and before Faolan realized, Gar was by his side running a hand through his hair. The strong fingers felt good on his scalp, so Faolan selfishly leaned in.
“How long do you have?”
“That’s what I like about you, Stitt. You cut to the chase and ask what’s on your mind.”
Fingers tightened in Faolan’s hair, tugging his head back until he had no choice but to look into Gar’s light blue eyes. “How long?”
“If I can find more meds, maybe a year. Less if I can’t. I was going to use the money from the stone to buy up what I could and give the remainder to the crew.”
“Do they know?” Gar moved his hand down to rest it on the back of Faolan’s neck. The possessiveness of his touch had Faolan shivering. “Is this why you were so tired on my ship?”
“No and yes. I usually have a good period after I’ve taken the serum, but it’s been getting shorter and shorter.”
The gentle rubbing of Gar’s thumb on his skin eased the tension of his muscles. The weight of his secret, while not completely gone, lifted enough that he was able to breathe. Gar knew and he hadn’t freaked out or run away. It had to count for something.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” Gar bent over and pressed a kiss to his temple. “I can take the Geilt out and see if I can find more of the drugs you need. Or track down a buyer for the stone, if that would help.”
&n
bsp; Lifting his head, Faolan enjoyed the brush of skin on skin as he rubbed his nose against Gar’s stubbled cheek. It figured his life was at an end just as he found someone he could live for. “I’m fine.”
“Stubborn ass, you’re not. A slow death by poisoning is not fine. You need help. Let me be the one. I don’t know how yet, but I’ll find a way to make this right. But you’re going to have to trust me.”
Gar dropped to his knees and wrapped Faolan in a hug. He fought the embrace for a moment until he realized the younger man wasn’t about to let go. It was okay to give in to the comfort being offered. Faolan could take refuge with a man who barely knew him and it would be okay. He didn’t have to be strong all the time. For some strange reason, the universe crossed their paths when Faolan needed it the most—giving him something to hold on to as the darkness encroached. Turning his face into Gar’s neck he let out a soft sigh.
“Thank you,” Faolan whispered.
“I know neither one of us do whatever the hell this is, but I’ve never been one to walk away from a friend.”
Faolan chuckled, squeezing Gar tighter. “I’m a friend, am I? We’ve known each other a week.”
“You’re forgetting something.” Gar pulled back but didn’t release Faolan. “I’m trained to size a person up in a matter of minutes. I can tell if someone is lying or is the genuine deal. I’ve spent more time with you in the last few days than I have with anyone outside of my family in my life.”
“That’s not saying much for your social status, Stitt.”
Gar smiled, sitting back on his feet. “No, it’s not.”
Faolan studied his new lover and tried to imagine the life he’d been forced to lead since the death of his father. Believing his sister was dead, knowing his innocent actions resulted in such heartache, Faolan was surprised the man wasn’t more damaged than he was.
Still, here sat a man who, despite the shit storm of his life, wasn’t afraid to take a chance on him. Gar was willing to risk everything in a futile attempt to find a cure which in all likelihood didn’t exist. Faolan knew he didn’t deserve a man like that in his life, but he was selfish enough not to turn him away.
“You’re something else, Gar.” Faolan watched as a shudder passed through Gar. “What?”
“I don’t know why you…I’ve never felt like this about anyone. I can’t believe I’ve only known you for such a short time.” Frowning, Gar smoothed down his tie. “Do you believe in an instant connection between people?”
“Yes.” He didn’t need further explanation to know what Gar was trying to ask. “Yes I do.”
“How can you be sure it’s real? How do you know you’re not imagining something that isn’t there just to ease…just so you’re not so…”
“Alone?”
Gar nodded.
“I mentioned my late wife, yes?”
Gar nodded again. “How long has she been gone?”
“Ten years.” The pain may have been over a decade old, but Faolan knew the ache in his heart would never completely go away. “It was a few months after we pulled Mace off Zeten.”
Gar’s lips twitched. Faolan wasn’t sure if he was fighting a smile or a grimace. “I never did have a chance to thank you for saving my sister.”
Faolan waved the praise aside. “Anyone would have done the same thing given the situation. It’s not like your home rock is the nicest place in the universe to live.”
“Still, thanks.” Gar rose to his feet and made his way over to the bed. “Your wife?”
Faolan leaned back in his seat and let Kayla’s memory wash over him. “When I first laid eyes on her I knew she was meant to be with me. All she did was walk into the room and I knew I’d never love another woman. We weren’t apart until the day she died. She was amazing. Kayla could strip any security system on a ship or base before the owner even knew she was there. Gods, she was beautiful, but had a mean streak in her when she thought someone was being an ass. It was what got her killed in the end.”
Gar didn’t say anything, only sat there with his hands folded in his lap and waited. It had been such a long time since anyone was there for him, Faolan had forgotten what it felt like, the rush of emotions as they poured from the secret place he kept buried. It burned and liberated all at once.
“We heard about a man on one of the new outland colonies who was stealing organs from the unfortunate and selling them to the highest bidder back in the Loyalist colonies. I didn’t want to touch it, but Kayla was on fire, wanted to make the bastard pay. The Loyalists blew up her ship before they got close to the planet. Killed Kayla and her crew.”
“I’m sorry.”
The old guilt reared up and bit at his conscience. “I should have gone with her. Maybe I would have noticed they’d been picked up by sensors and been able to save them all.”
“Or maybe you would have died with her. You can’t second-guess your actions, Faolan.”
“Like you are?”
He knew he made a direct hit when Gar flinched. “That’s different.”
“How old were you again?”
“That’s not the—”
“How old?”
“Fourteen.”
“So you’re saying I’m not responsible for my actions as a twenty-two-year-old man, but you are when you were nothing more than a child?”
“It’s not the same.”
“Of course it’s the same. We’re too much alike, Stitt.”
Faolan saw the flash of realization wash over Gar. The turmoil of emotions swirled in his too bright gaze as old emotions surfaced and were dealt with by the bounty hunter.
“You said the good periods are getting shorter for you,” Gar rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you have any more of the meds to take?”
“I have a few doses left. They’re pretty weak though, old stock. Potency isn’t what it should be.” He winked at Gar and threw him his best leer. “Don’t worry, I’ll still be good to you for a month or so yet.”
“You are unbelievable.” Gar fell back on the bed and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. “You’ve just told me you’re dying and you honestly think I care about whether or not I can still have sex with you?”
Faolan stood and walked over to the small washing room off the sleeping quarters. Only a fraction of the size of the one on the Geilt, it still had room for everything Faolan needed. He knew Gar was watching him, but did nothing to conceal his actions. The med spray sat on the side shelf, hiding in plain sight.
“When I bought these meds a few months back, the medic told me they weren’t the right ones. It would help with the symptoms only, push off the worst of what the poison had damaged.” He pressed the needle to his neck and waited for the rush as the meds hit his bloodstream. “Apparently there are better options, but as I said, nothing a pirate like me would have access to. Loyalist poison, Loyalist cure.”
“What do you plan to do?”
There were so many answers Faolan could give him. Distractions and pretty evasions were easy enough for a mind like his to manufacture. The truth was a much different matter. With Gar, Faolan found himself needing to open up. As much as he wanted to break through the other man’s protective shell, the desire to show him how much alike they really were was greater.
“I’m going to enjoy what time I have left and find happiness where I can.”
Gar stood, hesitated for a moment and approached Faolan. He didn’t move, waiting to see what Gar would do. Their eyes met in the mirror, neither man looking away. It was amazing how Faolan’s opinion of Gar had changed as he’d gotten to know the younger man. He knew he wasn’t the cold tightass apparent on first impression. Gar’s passions ran deep, held in check by his need to protect what remained of his heart. Faolan understood that need—he’d sunk so low after Kayla, he’d never imagined he could love anyone else again.
Not until now.
“We’re on your ship, Wolf. Do the others need you?”
Gar didn’t wait for an answer, but undid the
buttons of his jacket and vest, slipped them off and hung them from the clothing hook.
“I think I can claim captain’s prerogative and hide out for an hour or so.”
Gar took his vest off next. “If you need to give them directives, I suggest you do it now.”
“Oh?”
“You’re about to become indisposed for the next little while, Wolf.”
“Bossy.” Faolan grinned. “I like that.”
“You’ll like it even more once you know what I have planned.”
Faolan’s grin widened. “Sounds good.” As he reached for the com control, a loud alarm filled the room. “Shit. That’s the defense perimeter alarm. We’re under attack.”
He didn’t wait to see if Gar followed, but pushed past him, running for the door. The crew were rushing to their stations, shoving past anyone who slowed them down. For the first time in days, Faolan felt his head even and clear as he jogged to the bridge. The meds may not be completely potent, but they did the trick.
“Status report,” he barked at Mace, who sat in his chair.
“What’s he doing here?” She pointed at Gar who strode in a half second behind him, clothing as proper as they’d been before he’d entered Faolan’s quarters.
“I’m here to help, Macie,” Gar spoke softly, but his voice carried clearly over the noise.
“I trust him as much as I do any of you.” Faolan pointedly looked around the room, finally letting his gaze land on Mace. “He deserves the same chance I give everyone who joins my crew. Considering your varied backgrounds, I would think everyone here would agree.”
No one said anything. Even Mace looked suitably chastised, which in itself was a small miracle. Striding across the room, he waited for Mace to move before falling into his chair.
“Now last time I checked I was still the captain of this bucket. Someone give me a status!”
“Captain,” Mace said, her eyes locked on Gar the entire time. “Three Loyalist raiders just jumped through the gate and are on an intercept course for us. I’ve set our trajectory for the gas giant.”
“Good thinking, Mace.” Faolan checked the readings being fed to his console. “We identify these boys yet?”
No Quarter (Bounty, Book One) Page 14