Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  “Everything worked out better than okay. It was amazing. Wouldn’t you say so, submissive?”

  My heart flutters when I say aloud, “Yes, Master.”

  The look Jasper Givens gives me blows me away. It’s lust and want and need, but it’s also something else, something that looks a lot like pride and even somewhat like gratitude. This is it. The commitment’s made. I hear Michael clear his throat, and when I turn away from Jaz’s face, Michael gives him a look that I can’t read. To my amazement, Jaz nods, and Michael pulls from his jacket pocket a document sleeve. When he flattens the papers out, I know what it is.

  It’s our contract. Oh, god, this is real. I feel a tear roll down my cheek as I look back to Jaz, and he lifts my hand and kisses the back of it. “You ready?” he chokes out.

  Trying hard not to sob, I sniff back, “Yes. Very, very ready.”

  Michael nods to us both. “Jasper, you’ll sign first as Master. It’s your responsibility to lead her, and this is your first official act of doing so.” Jaz takes the pen and, to my surprise, his hand isn’t shaking at all. Steady as a rock, he signs his name at the bottom of the contract, then turns to me and hands me the pen.

  Wordlessly, I take it and sign my name. I’m bursting with pride. I can’t imagine why this man loves me, but it sure looks like he does. Finished, I cap the pen, hand it back to Michael, and then fold the document neatly and turn to Jaz. When he grasps it, instead of turning loose, I hold on and look him straight in the eye. Then I say something I didn’t expect, something that’s spontaneous and right. “Master, my life is in your hands.”

  His eyes are warm and soft when he murmurs to me, “I’m going to do everything in my power to never let you down.” Jasper reaches into his pocket and brings out a beautiful chain – well, three actually, woven together, a yellow gold, platinum, and strawberry gold, with a ring at both ends. It’s not a traditional collar; it’s far more discreet, and I love it for that reason. He wraps it around my neck with the rings at the front and from his pocket produces a pretty little gold heart-shaped lock. When it snaps shut, I know that I’m his.

  Michael raises his wine glass aloft. “To Jasper and Kimberly, Master and submissive. May the bond between you always bring you joy.”

  “Joy,” Robyn reinforces, lifting her glass.

  Jaz hands me my glass, then takes his and presses his forehead to mine. “More joy than we’ve ever known,” he whispers. Then he raises his glass with Michael and Robyn’s, and mine joins theirs. The clinking sound they make is like bells pealing, at least to me. It rings in what I now know will be the rest of my life, and it’s going to be amazing.

  *****

  Jaz comes in from work that evening to find me naked and kneeling by the door, waiting for him, just like the contract stipulates. To my surprise, he says, “Don’t do that again.”

  “I read through the contract as you said. I thought this is what you want.” I pout.

  “I thought I did too. But know what?” I shake my head at him. “I love it when I open the door and you just launch yourself at me. Now, if you want to do that naked, that’ll be fine, but you don’t have to.” He swallows hard, then adds, “It’s good to know somebody’s happy to see me at the end of the day.”

  “Always!”

  “Good. Because I promised you I’d take you dancing, and we’re going. Go get dressed and ready.” He slaps me on the ass as I run down the hallway to pick out something to wear. I’m so excited that I’m not sure I can stand it.

  An hour and a half later, I’m grinning from ear to ear and feeling like a kid at her first boy/girl dance. “My god, that was a blast!” I sit down, huffing and puffing. It’s been a long time since I’ve danced, and I’d forgotten how much fun it could be. “You’re really good!”

  “You’re not shabby yourself,” Jaz tells me with his wine glass up to his lips. “I’m impressed. You make me look good out there.”

  “You make me feel like a star!” I giggle and take another swallow of champagne, then look down at the ring on my finger. Now I feel like a star with this rock on my hand. No, it’s not huge, but it’s big enough to suit me. I would’ve been happy without a ring, but I really, really like that I have one. Looking at it makes me feel like a twenty-five-year-old bride again. But this time, the groom’s drop-dead gorgeous and I’m the luckiest woman on the planet. And my collar isn’t hurting my feelings either. I’m pretty damn proud of that.

  “Don’t have to – you already are one, babe.” He leans over to kiss me and I see a couple of other women in the room roll their eyes. I want to yell, Suck on that, bitches!, but I don’t. Not yet anyway. Maybe later. “How was your filet?”

  I beam at him. “Perfect. Delicious! This place is wonderful.” The restaurant used to be an old supper club, and it’s just beautiful, all art nouveau with big, plush booths and decorative, wall-mounted torchiere uplighting everywhere. When he promised me weeks earlier that he’d take me dancing, I wondered where we’d wind up, and this place is absolutely, positively perfect. “How did you find it?”

  “I asked one of the guys at the plant for the name of a place that was really romantic and this is the one he gave me. I think he kind of outdid himself. I owe him lunch or, at the very least, a bottle of wine.” His wine finished, Jaz reaches for my hand. When our fingers intertwine, something deep inside me clenches tight.

  I feel like I’m going to cry. “Can I tell you something?”

  His smile is gentle. “Of course.”

  With a deep sigh, I manage to choke out, “I love you so much that it hurts.”

  His eyes close and he nods. “I know exactly what you mean. I want this to work. I want us to be together forever. I know everything’s happened really fast, but I just feel like we fit together like puzzle pieces, you know?”

  “I know exactly.”

  “I’m not rich, but I want to give you everything. I want you to be happy. That will make me happy. And I want you to tell me when you’re not. I want us to trust each other. We have to talk openly and honestly to do that.”

  “I know. I’m being honest with you all the time. I haven’t told you a single lie about anything, or covered anything up. And I feel comfortable being honest with you.” His fingers tighten on mine, and my heart sings. I’ve got my secret, but I think when he finds out what it is, he’ll be glad.

  “Good. Because I’ve done the same with you, and I feel the same way. Six months.” He chuckles low in his throat. “I’m not sure I can wait that long.”

  “Me either.” I’d marry him tomorrow if he wanted that. Right now. This minute. I wouldn’t wait. “So do the stipulations of the contract carry over to the marriage?”

  “If you want them to.” He’s refilled his glass from the bottle in the chiller on the table. “But honestly, suits me.”

  “Suits me too.” I think for a second. “So the house has three bedrooms, right?”

  “Yeah.”

  “And is one of them fixed up for Melissa?”

  He shakes his head. “No. She hasn’t lived with me since I’ve been here.”

  “We should fix one of them up for her so she’ll come and visit more often. I’d love to have her around.”

  To my surprise, his eyes grow misty and he clears his throat before he answers with, “That would be okay with you?”

  “That would be more than okay. I really want to get to know her. She’s a big part of your life, so I want her to be a big part of mine too. And with the third bedroom, Jeffrey and Greta can come and visit whenever they want. I want you to get to know him.”

  “I want that too.” He sits for a minute, staring off into space, his wine glass in his hands, and then he looks straight into my eyes. “Kimmie, I just . . . I don’t know what to say to you. You’re everything I ever . . . you just . . .”

  “I love you. I want this to work too. And the only way that’s going to happen is if we have a meeting of the minds on everything.”

  He pulls my hand to his lips an
d kisses it. “I love you too. This is going to work. I have to believe that. You should too.”

  “I do. I really do.” I want to say a real I do to him right now. Six months. That’s a long, long time when you’re as in love with a man as I am with Jaz.

  Chapter Nine

  “So?”

  “So what?” Jaz is grinning from ear to ear.

  “What did you think?”

  “I think,” he says, hugging me close as I wave goodbye toward the car heading down the street, “that your son is a great guy and we had a really, really good visit.” He stops for a second and then asks shyly, “Did he like me?”

  “He thinks you’re amazing. I think that run to the liquor store was what did it for him. His dad would never have done that with him. He thinks you’re unbelievably cool.”

  “Good. I think he’s unbelievably cool too.” He nuzzles my neck. “But I have to admit, I missed fucking you all weekend while they were here.”

  I giggle when I say, “I almost asked you to go to the garage with me and do it in the car.”

  “I would’ve! You should’ve said something. If I’d thought of it, I would’ve asked you.” When the front door closes behind us, his hands are all over me. “God, Kimmie, I missed your body like crazy.”

  “I missed yours too. Let’s make up for lost time, shall we?” I grin and grab his hand as I head down the hallway toward the bedroom. “Come on! I’m hungry for you!”

  “Okay! Okay!” He’s laughing as we wander down the hallway. I just fall across the big bed and pull him down with me, and he’s still laughing as he drops kisses all over me, stripping me bare as he goes. Trapped under his weight, I’m helpless as he grabs my hands and pulls them over my head. A sinister grin spreads across his face. “Get up there in the bed. On your back. And grab the headboard.” While I do as he says, he crosses to the other side of the room, then comes back. Climbing onto the bed and still fully dressed, he ties my hands to the headboard before I even realize what he’s doing, the slick, satiny cord softly reflecting the light. His eyes roam my body as he licks his lips, and heat radiates out from between my legs and pools low in my belly. God, I have no idea what he’s going to do with me, but I can’t wait to find out. I cross my thighs and grind the air. It’s maddening, the way my body responds to him, and I love everything about it.

  I watch him strip off his tie, then slowly unbutton his shirt. After he pulls his shirttails from his slacks, the shirt drops to the floor and I’m left with an unobstructed view of that chest, that gorgeous, muscled chest. An ache invades the lower half of my body and spreads to my nipples, and I writhe in anticipation of his hands on my skin. But he just stands and watches me as he unzips his slacks slowly and lets them fall to the floor, and I wilt under his gaze. “What do you want, sub?” he snarls at me, and I hesitate. “Tell me or I swear I’ll walk out of here and rub one off. And I’ll leave you lying there wanting. What do you need?”

  “Oh, god.” I can barely speak. My tongue seems thick and I can’t catch my breath. “Oh, god, Master, I want you to lick me, and then I want you to fuck me. Please?”

  “Very good. I can probably accommodate you.” Just watching him slip his briefs down crazes me, and when he adds an aggressive stroking of his cock, I almost come undone. I’ve never come just from the sight of pure sex, but I’m so damn aroused that I’m not sure I can control myself anymore. Good thing my hands are tied. No telling what I might do if they were free. He interrupts my thoughts with a slow smile. “Do you have any idea what kinds of things I’d like to do to you?”

  My voice is strained when I try to answer. “I hope I have some ideas, but you can do whatever you want with me, Master. I’m yours.”

  His eyes soften and a small smile turns up the corners of his mouth. “You belong to me, sub. I want to drive you wild with my fingers and my tongue and my cock. I can make you scream and shake, and I plan to. It’s all I can do to keep my hands off your tits. God, you’re gorgeous, breathing heavy like that, squirming and wiggling. Did you know I can see your clit throbbing?” Shaking my head, I bite my lip and wait. “I can. And your pussy’s almost dripping. You’re so damn wet that I could fuck you right now, just slide right in. But I want to watch you come undone first.” His cock bobs with its own pulse when he releases it so he can crawl deliberately toward me on the bed, looking like a tiger stalking his prey. “Spread ‘em,” he snaps, slapping the insides of my thighs. On his knees between my legs, he puts a hand behind each of my knees and forces them up toward my chest, and the thought that I’m spread wide open for him makes me cry out. A low snicker rolls through his chest just before he buries his face in my pinkness.

  “Oh, gawwddddd . . .” I’m so wound up that the touch of his tongue on my nub makes my temples pound. “God, Master, oh god.” There’s that chuckle again, and it vibrates against my skin as he just keeps working my nerve endings into a frenzy. “Oh, Master, oh god. Please, Sir, please? Oh, please? Oh, god, oh, may I come, Master? Please, may I come?”

  Stopping for a split second, he replies, “Any time you want. And know that I won’t stop.”

  My god, he’ll drive me insane, I just know it. I’m trying to hold off, and I can’t, I just can’t. My voice sounds like it’s coming from somewhere else when I hear myself crying out, “Nooooo! Oh, god, nooooo. Oh, god, oh, god. Oh, I’m, I’m, oh, please, Sir? Oh, god.” Without any further warning, the orgasm slams into me and I see stars and hear bells. My whole body goes rigid, shaking and knotting, and I scream into the silence of the bedroom as Jaz never even slows. “Oh, god, Master, please? Please stop, please? Oh, god, oh, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh fuck.” I’m hitting critical mass, my hips bucking so hard that I’m shaking the bed, but Jaz holds them down and keeps going.

  I fight for my hands. If they were free, I’d push him away, but they’re tied fast, and I feel the second one building in my belly. This is one I’m not sure I’ll survive. He knows exactly what he’s doing to me and he just keeps going while I writhe in ecstatic misery until I can’t process it anymore. And when that misery grows and expands the way I know it will, there’s a moment there when I think about calling my safeword, but I don’t. In the next second, I know why.

  Every nerve ending in my body carries heightened sensation from the first orgasm, and when this one hits, it slams into me like a wrecking ball. It’s a fight to stay conscious, and I’m gasping when Jaz slows his strokes. I can feel my mind slipping away and I’m barely aware when he crawls up between my legs and drives his manhood straight into me with no hesitation. I feel him; I know that’s what he’s doing. But my body feels like it’s a million miles away as I float on the endorphins his skill has released for me. My eyes are closed and I’m sure if I opened them, I’d see clouds and sunshine and maybe even angels. There’s a buzzing in my ears, and a sensation’s expanding in my pelvis that I welcome and embrace. The vaginal orgasm hits hard, and the deep, powerful rhythms of the muscles buried in my channel pull my already-overloaded brain farther out into subspace. I can feel my body jerking as it convulses and I don’t care. It’s so amazing and powerful that I release any control I was fighting for and let go, let him take my body where it needs to go.

  This is bliss. A big fur-lined parka of warmth and peace surrounds me and I don’t want to be anywhere with anyone else. His hands on me seem to impart some kind of energy to me, and I want him to touch me all over, every inch of my skin, until I can’t tell where I end and he begins. His voice seems far away when I hear him cry out, “Oh, fuck, baby! Yessssss, Kimmie, yes. Yes, yes, yes, precious. Oh, god.” And then he stops.

  Time stops. I can’t move, and even if I could, I don’t want to. Trying to make sense of everything, I feel his arms around me, holding me tight, and it occurs to me that my hands are free. When I try to wrap my arms around him, they’re limp – my whole body’s limp. His lips fall on mine, but I can’t kiss him back. All I can do is lie there in his arms and, frankly, that’s all I want to do. He kisses my forehea
d, my temples, my eyelids, my nose, my lips, my chin, and then tweaks one of my nipples with his fingers. That gets a response out of me because I shiver like I’m cold, and I hear him chuckle. His voice is sweet and warm when he sing-songs, “Kiiii-mmie. Kimmie, baby, wake up. Hey, honey, come on back to me.” I grunt and shake my head, and the next sensation that hits me is his lips around one of my nipples. I groan and he laughs. “Come on, girl. I’m here waiting for you, baby. Just snuggle up.”

  When I finally force my eyes open, I’m still in Jaz’s arms, and he’s sound asleep. His breathing is silent, and there’s a calm look on his face that reminds me of the face of a sleeping child. I rouse a little and his arms tighten around me, followed by his eyes blinking open and a huge smile splitting his face. “Hey, little one! I was starting to get a little concerned about you.”

  “Ah, I’m okay.” I yawn – loudly – right in his face and he really laughs. “Were you trying to kill me?”

  “Are you dead?” he snickers.

  “No.”

  “Then no, obviously I wasn’t trying to kill you. You were, after all, tied to the head of the bed. If I’d wanted to kill you, you’d be dead now, right?” He’s still laughing.

  “I guess.” I try to make sense of everything. “Was I good?”

  He shakes his head in frustration. “Why do you always ask me that? You were more than good. You were unbelievable. Do you feel okay? You were really gone.”

  “Yeah. I’m fine, I think.” Things are slowly coming together for me and I’m checking all of my limbs to make sure they still work as the fog starts to lift. “Jaz?”

  “Um-hmmm, babe.”

  “I love you.” When I manage to get a look at his face, I’m shocked.

  His eyes are gleaming with unshed tears when he murmurs, “Baby, I love you too. I’m so glad we found each other. I can’t imagine being without you.”

  “I can’t imagine being without you either. But I want to sleep.”