Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

Vincent paused again. He stood still, over the edge of the stone ledge, just the tips of his boots holding him in place, and waited for my response.

  “Well if this is true,” I started, “I can definitely see why this was kept out of the Bible. This is the stuff horror movies are made of.”

  “Yes, but unlike fictional Hollywood tales, this is true,” Vincent replied matter of factly.

  “Great tale, but you’ve given me no solid proof that vampires exist or how any of this pertains to me.”

  “I’m getting to the part about you.”

  “Good,” I retorted.

  “Cain roamed the earth, realizing that he, once God’s creation, was now the devil’s masterpiece and only existed to inflict damage on mankind. He tried to subsist himself by feasting on animals alone, to save mankind from his damnation, but soon realized he could not resist that temptation. The smell of humans was too overpowering and Cain could not always control his urges. He quickly realized how much more fulfilled he felt after consuming human blood. It made him stronger, more powerful. Animal blood can sustain a vampire but mortal blood is like a drug – intoxicating and addictive.”

  The flecks in Vincent’s eyes seemed to glisten at the mention of human blood. I wondered if that was lust I could see in his eyes.

  “Cain realized he couldn’t exist by himself; he craved contact with another individual of the female variety. He needed a companion but could not stand the idea of transforming a mortal without her having full knowledge of what she would become. So Cain staked out village after village, looking for the ideal companion. And one day he found her.

  “Ina lived in a small village in what is now known as Poland. She lived a life of poverty where she slaved in the fields and was beaten by her father. She was about to go through with an arranged marriage, and he could see the pain in her life and he wanted to help her. One night, Cain approached Ina and said he could save her, but it would not be without great sacrifice. She would have to forgo everything…her life, her family, her soul. Ina, desperate to escape her miserable existence, jumped at the opportunity and that night, Cain transformed her.

  “Cain watched in horror as Ina withered in pain, first turning colder than death, and then hotter than the flames of hell.” Vincent stroked my flaming cheek with the back of his fiery fingers, as if trying to make a point. He grabbed my hand and led me deeper into the woods, jumping over crevices and scaling the trail with ease as he continued the tale.

  “After several hours, Ina was converted; she was a vampire just like Cain.

  “The two of them roamed the earth, happy to have each other. Cain was pleased Ina was willing to join his existence and she was happy that Cain saved her from her desolate life. Together, they vowed to inflict as little pain on man as possible, even trying to survive on animal blood alone. Of course, there was the occasional mishap but never any transformations.

  “Then, one day Ina disappeared and never returned. Cain was distraught and searched all over Earth for her. After several decades of trying to find her, and still craving companionship, he took up with a mortal.

  “This mortal in particular was very pleasing to Cain, but he did not want to transform her. She had a good life, a loving family and was about to be married. Her name was Amelia. Two weeks before Amelia was to wed, she discovered she was pregnant. Amelia was mortified, ashamed of her condition, and so she pushed Cain away, never telling him of the child. She opted instead to get married and pass the child off as her husband’s.”

  Vincent paused and stared at me. He grabbed my hand and led me to another clearing where we were surrounded by trees and rock formations. I searched his face for the next part of the story, but he was waiting for me to say something.

  “So you mean to tell me, Amelia had a child that was half vampire and half human?” I asked in disbelief.

  “That’s right.” Vincent replied, nodding his head. “But Amelia didn’t know what her offspring truly was. Cain never told Amelia that he was a vampire.”

  “And how exactly do you know this?”

  “Because my brothers, sister and I watched over Cain. We knew of the affair and the child, though he never knew about us and never knew anything about the child.”

  “But that doesn’t make sense. You said Cain and Ina survived on animal blood and killed their human prey, so how were any other vampires ever created?” I paused, thinking over the words I had just heard. “Wait. Are you saying…you…Ina…what about your siblings…” I trailed off.

  Vincent picked up where my thoughts left off. “Ina converted some humans without Cain ever knowing. She had her reasons for doing this. Of course, she always asked the mortal’s permission first, showing them the same consideration Cain showed her. We all consented.”

  “You consented to eternal damnation?” I asked in disbelief. “But why?”

  “We each had our own reasons,” Vincent snapped, his voice uncharacteristically irritated. He smoothed his demeanor and continued, “The fact is, Cain conceived a child with a mortal. My siblings and I, we called ourselves the Secret Coven, kept watch over the child, keeping this secret to ourselves. We did not want other vampires to know such an event could happen. We did not want to encourage the behavior because none of us knew what to expect. We wondered if the child would be born at all, and if so, if it would be human, or vampire or something in between. But through the generations, we watched Cain’s offspring, looking for signs that the progeny was something other than mortal. No one has ever exhibited signs until…”

  “Until what?”

  Vincent lowered his head, his eyes glaring at me. He cocked his head to the side like I should know the answer.

  “Until me?” I asked in disbelief.

  “Yes, Allison, think about it.” I tore my hand away from his.

  “Think about what?” I shouted. “Your story, although a good one, is just fiction. Vampires do not exist!”

  “You heard the story of Cain and Ina’s transformation. They turned ice cold, then blazing hot. You have felt my skin. It’s cold as ice during the day and hot as the fires of Hell at night. Think about yourself.”

  Flashes went through my mind of perfectly warm afternoons when I bundled up in jeans and sweatshirts while other people were comfortable in shorts and t-shirts. And at night, my body was usually so hot it prevented me from sleeping. And even tonight, I was so hot I had to press my body against the cool stone for relief.

  “That doesn’t prove anything.”

  “You exhibit other signs as well, my darling.”

  “Like what?” I demanded.

  “Your sleeping patterns. You have been getting less and less sleep yet you are full of energy. Vampires need rest but they don’t need sleep.”

  “Great, so my insomnia and body temperature are proof that I’m one of the living dead? I don’t think so.”

  “Have you thought about your appetite? You don’t crave human food anymore, do you? When was the last time you ate – and yet your throat aches for relief, doesn’t it?”

  “Oh come on,” I shouted, rage in my voice. “I can be around humans without sinking my teeth into their necks. I don’t have any urges for any sort of blood.”

  “For now,” Vincent replied.

  “What does that mean?” I asked.

  “You’re not 100% vampire but have many of the traits. More than any of your ancestors ever had. And your characteristics are materializing quite fast. Not only is it your body temperature, your sleeping habits and lack of diet, but think about it Allison. You were a clumsy girl most of your life but have been remarkably well coordinated as of late. Think about your motorcycle ride here. Did you notice how you took the corners on the wet pavement, your knee just fractions of an inch from the ground? You never had the gusto to ride like that before. And what about your other senses? You have always had a keen sense of smell, but your vision has improved too, hasn’t it? And then there’s your infertility. The doctors you visited could never diagnose the cause for that
because it’s something they’ve never seen before; you are something they have never seen before. Female vampires cannot conceive.”

  My mouth dropped in utter shock. “How dare you! Why are you doing this to me?”

  Vincent ignored my question. “But there is one definitive symptom and you know it well. For your whole life, as far back as you can remember, you have had a burning deep inside of you.” Vincent placed his hand on my stomach and I smacked it away. “You always thought it was a higher calling, another career path or hobby, but it was something much more than that. It is Cain’s seed, burning deep inside of you, telling you that you are something other than mortal. You are a direct descendant of his. Why do you think you have the sense of belonging when you visit the garden in your dreams?”

  I shook my head back and forth, tears streaming down my face. “I don’t know,” I choked out.

  “You feel calm and belonging in the garden because that is where your family was created! That is your home!”

  “I don’t believe you,” I yelled at the top of my lungs, straining the back of my throat. “I don’t believe you,” I sobbed in a lower tone as I fell into Vincent’s chest.

  “I know, I know.” Vincent whispered in my ear, rubbing my back. “But I can show you.”

  I pulled back from his chest and wiped my tears with my arm. “What are you talking about?”

  “I can show you and maybe then you will believe. But you need to clear your mind and concentrate.”

  “What…” I started as Vincent cut me off.

  “Can you do that? Concentrate?”

  “What are you up to?”

  Vincent didn’t respond; he only stared into my eyes.

  “I suppose I can try.”

  Vincent grabbed my hands and led me to the middle of the rock platform on which we stood. He gently turned my palms face up and lifted my chin so that my eyes were looking directly into his. It was easy to concentrate staring into the beautiful blue abyss of his eyes. His eyes were hypnotic, the gold raindrops sparkling around his pupils. He placed his hands on top of mine.

  I drew a deep breath as I felt a slight shock run through my body. It appeared that I was staring at a white screen and then the visions started. I saw every bit of the story Vincent had just recounted in vivid detail. There was Cain roaming the earth, he found Ina and transformed her. I witnessed the transformation in gory detail which looked extremely painful. I saw the two of them roaming the earth. I felt Cain’s grief when he realized he could not find Ina. I saw his first glimpse of Amelia and the attraction he felt. I experienced the love those two shared. I saw the birth of the child, a boy named Grant, and then saw pictures of other people that I did not know. One by one, each picture gave way to another stranger until I saw an image of my great grandfather Peter. The next picture was of my grandmother, Camille, followed by my mother’s photo. Then there was an image of me. I realized this was a family tree, Cain’s lineage, my family’s history.

  I pulled out of my daze, Vincent’s crystal eyes boring into mine. I dropped my hands to my side, held his gaze and whispered, “What was that? How did you do that?”

  “It’s a gift,” Vincent replied. “You could say it’s the dominant trait I carried over from my mortal life. I’m sort of a historian and that was your story.”

  “I don’t understand. Why are you telling me all of this? What do you want from me?” I asked, surprisingly calm. It was as if his story was starting to make sense, starting to sink in with me. This could be true. I could be part vampire. All I could do was wonder what the onset of all of the vampire-like traits meant.

  “Allison, you are the first of all of Cain’s descendants to exhibit signs of vampirism. I’m not sure what it means, but we, my siblings and I, don’t think you are safe.”

  “I’m not safe? Who’s threatening me?”

  “You are a danger to yourself. You have been going through changes at an accelerated pace. We’re afraid that you may be so frightened of yourself, of what you are turning into, that you will try to hurt yourself if you didn’t know the truth, or worse, you would go on a hunt. And an uncontrolled hunt like that is dangerous to all of our existence.”

  “What are you saying?” I knew where Vincent was going but I needed to hear it to believe it.

  “Allison, I need to transform you; you must let me do that. But I need your consent. Either that or we wait until you lose all control and then I would have to destroy you. And believe me, I don’t want that.”

  Any breath left in my lungs now escaped through my parted lips. I knew this was what he was trying to tell me and I thought I needed to hear it. But hearing that ultimatum, if it could be called that, was a shock to my system.

  “Wait, you need my consent?” I asked. “Couldn’t you just transform me whenever you wanted?”

  “No Allison, it’s a rule. Consent is needed from the person being transformed and it’s a rule that can’t be broken without severe consequences.”

  My head hurt with all of this information. “Great, so my choices are death or eternal damnation?”

  “Immortality isn’t all that bad,” Vincent responded.

  “No, just gotta get use to drinking blood and killing humans, eh?” I snickered.

  “Our cuisine isn’t as bad as it appears. Your instincts take over and you barely taste a thing. Yes, you have to kill the occasional mortal, but we have detailed plans around that. Think about what immortality can offer you, Allison! You will be able to do all the things you could never do in a mortal lifetime, see all the places you always wanted to visit. We could watch every sunrise and sunset together. We could do whatever you want, whenever you want.”

  “I don’t know that I can do this! Any of this,” I stammered and turned to walk back the way we came.

  My mind was overcome with too much information. The images Vincent had shown me were so vivid and real, there was no denying they were authentic. His explanation for why I felt so comfortable after dreaming about the garden made sense. That was my home. And he could explain all of my ailments; symptoms that mortal doctors couldn’t explain now made perfect sense. After starting the night out a non-believer, I now fully believed what Vincent was telling me. I was, to some degree, a vampire. The serpent’s venom, the devil’s poison, was running through my veins.

  “Allison…”

  “Really Vincent? Put yourself in my shoes. I’m going about life, the way it should be, and one day this beautiful stranger…you…sweeps me off my feet only to blindside me with information that I am part vampire and need to choose certain death no matter what decision I make. I can’t do this.” I leapt over a crevice and smoothly started my descent down the rock, this time noticing the gracefulness with which I moved.

  “You really don’t have a choice, but you do have to consent,” Vincent said right behind me. I stopped and whirled around. He raised his index finger to my mouth, stopping me from saying anything further. “But you don’t have to consent tonight. You have a lot to absorb. Take some time and think about it. I’m having a Halloween party next week. It’s a huge event that my siblings and I throw every year. Come. I’ll introduce you to my brothers and sister. You’ll see that our life is not as bad as you think.”

  “I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

  “About the party? No.” Vincent held up my motorcycle key. I hadn’t realized we had made it back to the parking lot so quickly. “Now let’s get you home.” Vincent stared up at the sky. Black clouds rolled over an even blacker sky. “I have no idea how your half mortal riding skills will handle the approaching storm,” he said with a smirk.

  Chapter Eight

  My mind couldn’t stop thinking about it. Four days had passed since Vincent had told me that I was a descendant of the first vampire ever created and that the devil’s poison ran through my veins. A mere 96 hours ago, I learned that the symptoms that had haunted me for so long were my body’s way of telling me that I was one of the eternally damned. Thousands of minutes had
passed since I had last seen Vincent and all I could think about was my predicament, for lack of a better word. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to say out loud that I knew what I had to do. All I could do was wonder: why me? Why now after so many generations of others like me?

  None of the options Vincent had presented was palatable, but something had to be done with me. I could no longer ignore that something was wrong; this had become more and more painfully obvious since that night at Whipps Ledges. It had been four days since I had slept or eaten a morsel of food, and yet I was neither tired nor hungry. There was, however, a pain in my belly, a deep burning within my core that had slowly grown over the past days. At times it was almost unnoticeable, but at other times I felt the fireball churning away only before it faded back to nothing again. I was constantly thirsty, but so far I had managed to quench this thirst with water. I could only wonder how long that would last.

  My decision seemed to change from one second to the next. One minute I was certain that I wanted Vincent to transform me; the next I wanted to take the risk and remain mortal, praying that my symptoms would somehow reverse themselves. Then I would think about how unlikely that scenario was and I was back to consenting, only to suddenly be gripped by the fear of dying and my mind would change once again. It was an exhausting, vicious cycle I didn’t know how to break. To make matters worse, always lingering in the back of my mind was the realization that regardless of what I decided, my ultimate destiny was eternal damnation. How ironic that I had wasted all of those years trying to find my true calling, and this was what I got.

  I turned on the television in a futile attempt to distract my brain. A football game was on with a news alert banner scrolling at the bottom of the screen. It announced the savage murder of a young couple the night before in Columbus, Ohio. They were to be engaged that night, and worried family members had called the authorities when they didn’t hear from them. The couple’s bodies were found in a lake, hers drained of blood and his missing his head.