Indulgence

by Liz Crowe

  Skin.

  I needed her skin against mine.

  I pulled away from her and moved my hands to the bottom of her dress. In one swift movement, I had it up and over her head and on the floor. My gaze dropped to her tits, and fuck me if she didn’t have the hottest fucking bra on I’d ever seen.

  “You like it?” she asked.

  I flicked my eyes to hers. “Like it? I fuckin’ love it,” I rasped as I reached around the back of her to undo it, “but it’s gotta come off.”

  She hit me with that sexy goddamn smile of hers, moved her hands to the top of her panties as if she was about to remove them, and asked, “What about these?”

  “Off,” I commanded, eyes glued to her pussy, waiting for it to be revealed to me.

  She pushed them down and flicked them aside. Without waiting another second, I knelt in front of her, placed my hands on the backs of her legs and ran them up until they cupped her ass. I pressed my mouth to her pussy and licked my tongue the length of her slit.

  She tastes so fucking good.

  One of her hands landed on my head and I vaguely heard her moan but it was like it was coming from a distance because, at that moment, I was lost to her cunt.

  Lost to every-fucking-thing I’d dreamt of for years.

  My tongue circled her clit before I pushed it inside her.

  So goddamn wet.

  I chased her orgasm with my tongue while my fingers dug into her ass. When I moved one of my hands around so I could work her clit, she shuddered and cried out my name.

  I fucking loved the sound of my name crying out from her lips.

  “Oh god . . . Kick . . . I’m gonna come . . .” Both her hands were in my hair now, pulling and pressing as if she needed me closer and then needed a break.

  And then she came, and I experienced a feeling like I’d never experienced in my life.

  Utter fucking happiness.

  I was straight up and her hands went straight to my clothes, frantically tearing at them until they all lay in a heap on the floor.

  Our eyes met, and greed shot through me like never before.

  I grabbed her by the back of her neck and pulled her mouth to mine. “I fuckin’ need your cunt, baby,” I growled before roughly kissing her.

  She hungrily kissed me back, and I pulled her with me to the bed.

  “Lie down,” I ordered, “I’m just gonna get a condom.”

  When I came back to her, she was spread out like fucking heaven on my bed. Her eyes searched mine and I saw vulnerability there. Positioning myself between her legs, I leant my face down and kissed her before pulling away and whispering, “I’ll go slow and try not to hurt you.”

  Fuck, I’d never fucked a virgin before and I hoped to fucking God I wouldn’t lose control and hurt her.

  “I trust you, Kick,” she said softly, her eyes gazing at me with all the trust in the world.

  Once I had the condom on, I moved over her and she wrapped her legs around me. Keeping hold of her eyes while I did it, I slowly entered her.

  Oh, fuck.

  Feels so fucking good.

  “You okay?” I whispered, our faces so close.

  She nodded. “Yes.”

  Her hands slid around my neck and she pulled my face to hers so she could kiss me. Gentle at first, and then she kissed me harder.

  I pushed my cock further in, still slowly, in an effort to not hurt her too much. A pained noise escaped her lips, though, and I pulled my mouth from hers to stare down at her with concern.

  She gave me a small smile. “I’m okay, please keep going,” she insisted.

  I stilled. Searching her face, I asked, “Are you sure? I can stop if you want to.”

  Shaking her head, she pleaded, “No, I want this, Kick. Please don’t stop.”

  Her eyes conveyed the truth in her words so I pushed all the way in.

  Fuck me.

  Amazing.

  “Okay, baby, I’m gonna keep going,” I said, giving her notice.

  She smiled again and lifted her head to meet me with a kiss. Her arms wrapped around me and she held on tight, ready for this to happen.

  I pulled out, and eyes still focused on Evie’s, I pushed back in, all the way. But not hard. Not yet. Her eyes widened but she squeezed her legs tighter around me as if she was telling me to keep going. So I did. This time I pulled out and thrust in a little harder.

  Fucking hell, Evie’s pussy was tight. This could be over fast.

  I pulled out again and thrust hard. My release teased the edges of my consciousness and I dropped my head into her neck as I continued to pump into her.

  She moved her hips with me, and fuck, I was so fucking close. “I’m gonna come, Evie,” I grunted through hard breaths, almost at the point where I wouldn’t be able to hold back any longer.

  She didn’t say anything but just squeezed her legs around me tighter, her pussy squeezing tighter around my dick. I took it as another sign to keep going and a minute later, I came. Harder than I’d ever come before.

  Once I’d wrung every drop from my orgasm, I lifted my head to look at her. She smiled up at me, and I apologised, “I’m sorry you didn’t come.”

  “I did earlier so it’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not, but I promise the next time you will.”

  Surprise flared in her eyes. “Next time?”

  I frowned. “You thought this was a once off?”

  “I thought this was you showing up to help me celebrate my eighteenth and then taking me home for a one night stand.”

  “Fuck no,” I said as I pulled out of her and pushed up off the bed to dispose of the condom. When I came back from the bathroom I brought a cloth with me to clean her up, but she’d pulled the sheet up to cover herself.

  I sat on the bed next to her and frowned. “Why did you cover yourself?”

  Her face flamed red. “You turned the light on.”

  “Yeah, cause I want to clean you up so I need to be able to see for that.”

  “Oh my God, Kick, I can clean myself up!” She seemed embarrassed and I couldn’t figure out why.

  “Evie, we just fucked . . . I just had my mouth on your pussy, and you’re embarrassed for me to clean you up?”

  She covered her face with her hand for a moment and then she sat up so our faces were level. “It was dark and you couldn’t see my body,” she whispered, her eyes reaching out to me, to understand.

  And I did fucking understand, and it made me fucking angry.

  I moved her hand, the one clutching the sheet to hide her body from me. When the sheet fell, I ran a finger across the top of her breasts. With my gaze fixed to hers, I said, “Don’t let those bitches from school make you believe you’re not beautiful. Just because they told you you’re ugly or whatever the fuck they told you, it doesn’t make it true. And it’s not fuckin’ true, Evie.” I leant my face down to whisper kisses over her breasts. When I’d finished, I said, “You’re the most beautiful woman I know.”

  Tears threatened to fall, but she held them back. Swallowing hard, she said, “Thank you. I’m such an idiot for believing them.” Her voice drifted off as she spoke so that the last few words were almost a whisper, and she hung her head.

  I placed a finger underneath her chin and tilted her face up with it. “You’re not an idiot, you’ve just had so much shit thrown at you that you’ve started to believe it.”

  As I sat and watched her take that in, my chest tightened. Evie had been through so much and yet she was the best person I knew. Even though people had been so mean to her, and nasty, she was still the kindest and most caring person in my life. And I’d been an idiot last year after I finished school. While she finished her final year, I’d joined Storm and focused all my attention there, neglecting our friendship.

  I was fixing that mistake now because if I was truly honest with myself, I’d wanted Evie for years.

  I wanted her in my life.

  And in my bed.

  *****

  I leant again
st the doorway of my bedroom and watched Evie sleep.

  Peaceful.

  Fuck, she was beautiful. I had a permanent fucking hard-on for her and, she had no idea. Not fucking her last night had been one of the toughest things I’d done in ages.

  She stirred and a moment later her eyes came to mine. “Morning,” she said, and then she winced, placing a hand to her head.

  I pushed off from the wall and walked to her side of the bed. Sitting on the edge, I passed her the water on the bedside table and two aspirins.

  “Thank you,” she murmured, taking the pills from me. Once she’d swallowed them, she gave the glass back to me.

  I stood and asked, “Do you have to work today?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay, I’ll take you home so you can get ready and then I’ll take you to work. And then I’ll pick you up after work.”

  “I can drive myself, Kick,” she said, her voice off. I thought we’d made progress last night but uncertainty now hit my gut.

  “No, you can’t. You’ll be over the limit.”

  She stared at me, in obvious pain from her headache, and I was sure she was about to argue with me again when she surprised the shit out of me and said, “Fine, you can drive me.”

  “Good, that’s fuckin’ settled. I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.”

  I left her to it, and a moment later I heard her crashing around in my bedroom. Relief hit me, thank fuck she’d agreed to let me drive her because she was definitely in no state to be driving.

  When she appeared in the kitchen ten minutes later, I took in her hung-over state and fuck if my dick didn’t jerk again at the sight. This woman could make me want to fuck her even if she was dressed in a fucking sack and had a shaved head.

  She’s it for me.

  I grabbed my keys off the table and jerked my chin towards the front door. “You ready to go?”

  She nodded and slowly headed outside. I followed close behind, watching her ass sway in that sexy-as-fuck black dress she’d worn to the pub last night. She’d ripped it off as soon as we’d gotten back to my place and done her best to get me to fuck her, but I’d had no intention of sleeping with her. Not in that state. No, the first time we had sex again, we’d both be sober. I needed to know she wanted this as much as I did. And until I got her to that point, I wasn’t laying a hand on her. As hard as that would fucking be.

  *****

  I still hadn’t decided what I was gonna do about Peter and Gambarro when I picked Evie up from work that afternoon. Seeing her, though, pushed me towards the decision of getting involved. How the fuck could I let her father die?

  I drove her home and insisted on walking her inside so we could finish our conversation from the other night.

  “Okay,” she agreed, seemingly as keen to talk as I was.

  Aside from the other night and this morning, I hadn’t been in Evie’s house for over a year. She lived about twenty minutes from me, in a small house she’d saved for years to buy. I clearly remembered the day I’d moved her in and we’d christened a few of the rooms. Back then, it had been in need of renovating and I’d helped her. It looked as if she’d done more since I’d been here last.

  As we walked down the hall, I murmured, “I like what you’ve done with the place.”

  “You like the colours I’ve added?”

  I smiled. “Yeah, baby, I like it.” Evie loved colour and she’d painted feature walls throughout. Teal seemed to be her favourite colour these days, judging by the amount of it in her home.

  We made it to the kitchen and she dropped her bag on the counter and looked up at me, seeming rather hesitant. “Why didn’t you sleep with me last night? I thought you were all up for sex and then you fobbed me off.”

  That was unexpected, but I was more than happy to discuss it. “I am all for sex with you but not like that.”

  “What does that mean, Kick?” she asked me, clearly frustrated.

  “It means you’re worth more than a quick fuck to me. If I can’t have you… have your heart, then I don’t just want your body.”

  Silence surrounded us as she processed that. I waited patiently. She had to relent soon.

  Finally, she said, “I need more. It’s not enough for you to just show back up after all this time and say you’ve changed your mind.”

  “What do you need? Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

  “I need all of you.”

  My body stilled. She wanted the parts of me I didn’t want to give. She wanted the parts of me that no one in their right mind would want to know.

  The parts she would run from if I showed her.

  “No, you don’t.”

  She stepped nearer to me. Our bodies were so close I could feel her warm breath on my skin, and fuck, I needed more.

  I needed to feel her body on mine, her hair between my fingers, her pussy around my dick.

  Her words at the end of the day.

  Her love wrapped around me, taking all the shit away.

  “I’ve known you since I was seven, Kick. You used to share yourself with me back then. Your thoughts and feelings. And then, after all the shit went down with our families, you started to pull away and when you joined Storm, it was like you disconnected from me. I tried so hard to get through to you, to let you know I loved you, all of you, but you never took that in. I get that there’s stuff you can’t tell me, and I don’t want to know the ins and outs of it all, but give me something. Anything. Show me you. Let me love you.”

  Fuck.

  I didn’t deserve her. She was lightness to my darkness and I had no idea how to combine the two. Or even if I wanted to.

  I reached out and ran my finger lightly down her cheek. “I love you, Evie, but I don’t know how to do what you’ve asked. I can try, though,” I whispered, total honesty spilling from my lips.

  She smiled sadly at me, a look of defeat in her eyes. “I know.”

  When she moved away from me and just watched me in silence, I feared I’d fucked it all up.

  I’m losing her again.

  And then I did what I always did when fear and hopelessness threatened to overtake me - I resorted to anger and frustration. “This isn’t the fuckin’ end of this,” I snapped, and stalked out of the room without waiting for her response.

  I didn’t need to see her rejection again.

  I just needed to find a way to get through to her.

  Chapter Nine

  Evie

  I hadn’t heard from Kick in two days. Not since he told me he didn’t know how to be in a relationship with me. My heart hurt and that pissed me off. Why did he have to show up and create these feelings when I was doing okay without him? And why did he struggle so much with letting me in? When we’d been together in the past, it was like Kick lived two lives. One with me, and one with his other family, the club. I could never work out why he kept the two completely separate. What kind of person doesn’t want to introduce you to his friends? It made me feel like shit when he refused to let me meet them. I wouldn’t put myself through that again.

  I’d decided to try and put him out of my mind when I realised that would be impossible. Out of the question, actually, because when I visited my mother two days after he’d walked out of my house on an angry outburst, Kick was at her house again.

  As I entered her kitchen, I asked, “Where is he? I saw his bike out front.”

  She looked up from the vegetables she was cutting up and smiled at me. “He’s out the back, cleaning the gutters.”

  “Why?”

  She frowned. “I guess because he’s a nice guy and wanted to help me.”

  “So he just dropped by and decided to do it for you?” I asked, incredulous.

  “He told me he’d noticed them the other day, so that’s why he came back. Are you annoyed about it?”

  I huffed out a breath. “I don’t know how I feel, Mum. I’m like a big knot of stress at the moment. One minute I want him and then the next he pisses me off and I just want him to leave.
” God, I felt like one of those whiny bitches I couldn’t fucking stand.

  Just make up your mind already.

  A huge smile spread across her face. “Baby, you’ve always loved Kick, and from what you just said, I don’t think that love is going anywhere soon. You two have always had that push and pull where you piss each other off, so that’s nothing new.”

  “Maybe I don’t want a relationship like that anymore. Maybe I want something easier with no pissing each other off.”

  She laughed. “Oh, Evie… you’d be bored in a day.”

  She was right and I fucking knew it.

  And that pissed me off even more.

  God damn it.

  I left her and went in search of Kick. I found him and Braden up on the roof out the back. He didn’t realise I was there for a couple of minutes, so I took the opportunity to watch him and just soak him in. He was shirtless and his muscles rippled as he moved. And I had an awesome view of his ass, too, so every time he bent over, he blessed my eyes with that ass.

  Oh god.

  My mother was so right when she said I’d be bored without the push and pull Kick and I had.

  I still love him.

  With every fibre of my being.

  With every scar he’d left on my heart.

  I still want a life with him.

  As I was caught up in my thoughts, he must have seen me. “Evie,” his voice filtered through and I blinked him into focus.

  “Hi,” I said, smiling up at him.

  “You staying long?” he asked, his frustration with me from the other day gone.

  I had a couple of things to do, one of them being to visit my dad to get more information out of him about the guy he owed money to. I’d been desperately trying to find a way to borrow the money but I’d still had no luck yet so I figured maybe we could negotiate with the guy. “I’ve gotta go and see Dad but I’ll be here for a while.”

  A look of irritation crossed his face, and he said, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

  “Okay.” I had no idea what the irritation was about but I figured he would clue me in soon.