I pressed a trembling hand to my mouth. “I don’t know what I’m doing, Em. I just…when I’m with him…when I look at him? He feels like what I’ve been missin’ all along. What I’ve been searching for my whole life. And when I’m with him, every worry slips away and I forget the man he keeps promising me he is. It’s not the way I see him. I forget myself.”
She sank down beside me, sympathy edged into her expression. She brushed her fingers through my hair and gave me a sad smile.
“It’s easy to forget ourselves when things feel right. I get that, Will. I do. That doesn’t mean I’m not worried about you.”
My phone buzzed in my hand. I cringed when I saw the sender.
Bates.
Emily caught it, her silence prodding me to flip into the message. For the last week, he’d been texting pictures of Ash in a world I just couldn’t comprehend. Ones of him in dark, seedy clubs. Draped in women. Backstage. Doing things I didn’t want to imagine.
This one was of Ash, obviously somewhere backstage, sipping at a drink with a woman on her knees between his legs. His apathetic expression promised he barely even registered her presence.
I’d wanted to avert my eyes and shield myself from the brutal reality of the man I’d grown to care about so much. Too much.
It only made me hate Bates more.
This was him not giving up on me? Taunting me? As if him showing off those pictures could ever forgive what he’d done?
Never.
Emily looked at me with something akin to pity.
“It hurts, Em,” I admitted, chewing at my trembling lip. “Is this what they call dumb love?”
She wound her arm around my shoulder, and I slumped into her hold. “You might be acting dumb,” she said with the hint of a tease before her tone went serious. “But no, love isn’t for the dumb, Willow. Love is always, always for the brave.”
twenty-nine
Willow
“Where are we going?”
I rested my cheek on his bicep. Because why wouldn’t I if I could? He had our fingers threaded together and was guiding us through the crowd that leisurely strolled the quaint Savannah street.
Sunlight streamed through the leaves on the big shade trees.
Families were out and about exploring and the tourists checking out the sights seemed to be subdued.
Being with him made me feel that way, too.
Like there was nothing in the world better than this.
Being at his side.
He slanted me a cocksure grin—arrogant and sexy and the hottest thing I’d ever seen. Just that look was enough to make me flush.
God. The things this man had done to me.
“What, don’t you trust me, darlin’?”
I snuggled closer to his side. “Trust you? That’s an awful lot to ask of me, rock star. You do kinda have a bad reputation.”
He laughed, so loud and free that people turned and stared.
How could they not?
The man was a magnet.
A force.
One that had completely knocked me off my feet.
He leaned down close to my face, voice dropping low. “I thought it was my ‘reputation’ that you liked best.”
Pure insinuation.
More heat. This time in my belly and spreading lower. “I do kind of like that ‘reputation’.”
He hiked a brow. “Kind of? You start talkin’ like that, and I’m gonna have to double my efforts.”
Shivers.
Yes, please.
“Why do I get the feeling that’s not just a threat but a promise?”
“Because you’re smart.”
I laughed, lightly smacked his strong, strong chest, and snuggled even closer, letting myself get swept away in the freedom that came with confidence. Something I’d almost forgotten. So grateful to this man who’d taken the time to show it to me.
Honestly, I’d been terrified to return to his house that morning two weeks ago after the night he’d taken me. I thought maybe he’d shut himself down.
I was completely taken by surprise when he’d met me halfway across his yard with a searing kiss. One that’d weakened my knees and caused me to fall a little further. I’d been falling ever since.
He pressed his mouth to the top of my head. “What am I going to do with you, Peaches?”
Stay.
We rounded the corner.
I gasped a tiny breath that wasn’t really shocked at all, my grin so wide when I stepped out ahead of him and turned to face him as we walked, our fingers still bound. “You brought me to a flea market?”
Feigned offense parted his flirty lips. “A flea market? Don’t break my heart, darlin’. That’s just a straight insult. This here is the finest antique show to ever grace the East Coast. Treasures galore. Vintage heirlooms. It’s a good thing your man has a few extra bucks in the bank. You know, so he can take you on all these lavish, extravagant dates.”
My man.
God.
That was all I wanted him to be.
Mine.
Still, I smiled at the amusement swimming in his eyes, floating in that calm, mesmerizing sea. “I couldn’t imagine a better place to be.”
“Uh…I’m pretty sure the correct answer to that is my bed.”
“Right. There’s that.”
Always, always that.
His indulgent smile shifted to soft, and he was tugging me against him and kissing me tenderly right where we stood in the middle of the sidewalk as people moved around us.
“Come on…let’s go find some of those treasures I promised you.”
For hours, we browsed and laughed. Soft touches and quick kisses stolen between our easy conversation. He humored me while I rummaged through every stand, digging through all the treasures that most would see as nothing more than garbage and junk that Ash knew I’d see as priceless.
I returned the whole humoring favor when a woman recognized him and started fangirling in the middle of the market, squealing and fumbling over her words. I offered to take their picture while he mouthed, “I’m sorry.” There was nothing I could do but smile and snap the picture of this star-struck girl who couldn’t seem to fathom she was in Ash Evans’ space.
I understood her pain.
Thankfully, she moved on, and Ash and I ducked into a large, tented stall that was full of eclectic art and plastic crates that held prints of every kind.
“We have to get this.” I gestured to one of the paintings stacked in the back. It was narrow and taller than me. Painted in reds, blacks, and shadowy grays. Musical notes were hidden like obscured art, just the innuendo of a song coming to life. “It will go perfect in your room. Against the big wall.”
This afternoon, we’d already found a huge mirror, big enough to be set on the floor and leaned up high against the wall. I’d re-stain the thick wood frame but planned to leave the warbled mirror tinged with age, something to give depth and texture and contrast.
“I didn’t bring you here to get stuff for me, and I’m pretty sure every single thing you’ve picked out today has something to do with me.”
That’s because you’ve consumed my mind.
“That only makes sense, doesn’t it? I’m working on your room. That’s where my thoughts are going to be.”
“But I brought you here to get something for you.”
I quirked a brow, biting back my laughter as I stepped closer and narrowed my eyes. “You brought me to get used junk?”
Horror took over his face. Genuine. A split second later, it slanted into amusement. “Oh, Peaches, you are so going to pay for that,” he murmured the last in my ear, another one of those threats I wanted to take head on. “You think I don’t know you?”
My hand fisted in his shirt, clinging to him as he bent me back. I could feel the world falling out from beneath me. Because he knew me better than anyone else.
“Thank you,” he suddenly said.
My eyes moved all over his face. Searching. Memorizing.
“For what?”
“For being you. You’re…” He trailed off and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, as if he didn’t know what to say. Then, the man was kissing me again.
thirty
Ash
Sometimes you have to wonder if it’s worth the gamble. Stepping out and taking the risk. The problem was when you didn’t know who to bet on. If you were deserving of the pot. If the roll of the crooked dice landed you with a pair of snake eyes, who was it that was really going to lose? And if you did manage to throw sixes? Just what the fuck was it that you hoped to win?
Yet, here I was.
Putting it all on that quickly fraying line.
Playing stupid.
Reckless.
I was pretty damned certain neither of us would come out on top.
Tinkling laughter rang out against my walls. The kind that caused mayhem to wind in my already twisted gut.
“Be careful,” I warned. Why the hell did I let her talk me into this?
“Quit being such a baby, rock star. We totally have this.” Humor ridged her straining voice as we struggled to maneuver the bulky mirror up my staircase. She was up top because I’d convinced her that was the heaviest part. That in and of itself was a damned miracle, considering the girl started off by insisting she could get it upstairs herself.
Without my help.
Really, I’d taken the bottom because I figured if this bitch of a mirror came tumbling down, it was going to land on me. No chance in hell would I put her in that position.
“Where the hell is Zee when I need him? Asshole’s always lurking around until there’s work to be done. Then poof. Boy’s nowhere to be found.”
Light, lilting laughter rang from between those pretty lips again as she sent me one of those smiles that knocked the breath right out of me. “If I were him, I’d be running the other direction, too. I bet you had no idea what you were getting yourself into the day you walked into my store.”
No, I definitely didn’t have a clue what I was walking into.
“Maybe he went and found himself a girl. Dude’s been scarce lately. Or maybe he just can’t handle being around and knowing what kind of delicious I have locked behind my door.”
I couldn’t see the red I knew rushed to her cheeks. But, fuck, I could feel it. Swore I could feel this girl from across the room. The familiarity that urged and coaxed and comforted.
We made it up a couple more steps. Willow’s breaths came harder with the exertion. “I think I might have underestimated when we bought this just how heavy this mirror was going to be.”
It was hard enough getting it into the back of the SUV.
“Big plans require big solutions. Big, big solutions.” I couldn’t even keep my laughter out. Apparently, I had the sense of humor of a twelve-year-old.
Sue me.
“Aren’t you a clever boy.”
“You want me to get clever? Is that what I hear you saying? Tell me, darlin’, because if you want me to get clever, then you know I’m totally game.”
“Oh, I bet you are.”
A chuckle rolled free.
Yes and please. I was all for showing her just how talented I could be.
When we finally reached the top of the never-ending staircase, she swiveled, and I followed. She backed the rest of the way down the hall and into my room. “Over here,” she instructed.
She guided me to the middle of the room where she’d basically set up shop. “Just lie it down on its back. I’ll start work on it tomorrow.”
We carefully set it on a drop cloth already spread out on the floor.
“We did it.”
“Of course we did. Wouldn’t want you to go and get the false impression I’m some kind of sissy boy, now would I?”
Mock horror widened her mouth. “I could never think such appalling things about such a strapping, robust man.”
A grin infiltrated her tease, before her expression softened.
Tender.
Sweet.
It clutched me right in the center of my chest. My heart did that crazy thing I kept begging it not to do.
She straightened herself. That fall of mahogany was disheveled where it cascaded around her shoulders and her cheeks were pink from the day out in the sun.
A heavy sigh blew from her lips and she looked around my room that was getting close to being done. All the major renovations had been completed, the fixtures and tile installed in the bathroom, the sanding and re-staining of the floors, paint on the walls. A few pieces of the furniture she’d created were already set in place.
“It’s going to look amazing,” she said. It seemed more to herself than to me, the girl caught up in her work the way she always was. Like she saw it as something alive. Constantly in transition. As a flow of time and years and memories. This girl was leaving her mark on the moment that belonged to her.
“Sex and comfort,” I said, a little hoarse.
She looked up to stare across at me, something unsaid bounding between us, before she seemed to shake it off, turn away. She moved to the big wall opposite the bank of windows and lifted the painting we’d picked up at the market. “I thought we’d put this painting right here above the dresser and the mirror on the floor off to the side.”
Her gaze slid down the long, blank wall, like she was imagining what would eventually go there.
“Still don’t have that photo shoot complete. Think it’s time to make that magic happen. Imagine what that’s going to look like…you up there, gracing my walls. Fucking best thing I’ve ever seen, and I’ll be the lucky bastard who gets to wake up to it every morning.”
It came across rougher than I intended.
She grinned. But it was soft. Almost sad. Her head just tilted to the side. “You’re ridiculous.”
She was right. I was ridiculous. Because this was ridiculous, and I’d lost capacity to stop.
I moved across the room with measured steps. Energy lit. A shockwave of electricity. Like a flick of a switch. Instant. Bright. Blinding.
She sucked in a staggered breath as soon as I got in her space, but held my eyes as I cupped her face in one hand. My thumb brushed the curve of her cheek. “Do you get it yet, darlin’? What I see when I look at you? How all my thoughts get crossed and everything goes haywire? Second we touch, I’m lost in a confusion I shouldn’t feel because the only thing I feel is you.”
A tiny moan bled from that sweet, sweet mouth. I caressed my thumb along her bottom lip and stared down at the girl who had completely rocked my world. Single-handedly crushed the foundation that should have been solid.
Unbreakable.
My heart picked up an extra beat.
Like maybe it’d been missing one before.
“Ash.”
I kissed her. Slow, deep, and purposed.
She melted against me.
Her honeyed tongue so damned sweet.
Lust.
It burst in my blood like the breaking of a dam.
Taking me under.
Eating me alive.
Overwhelming need crushed me. The need to get in this girl. To devour every inch.
She kissed me like she would let me. Give it all. Even if it destroyed her in the end.
I edged back, still kissing her while I worked through the buttons on her blouse. I pushed it free of her shoulders, revealing black lace and all that creamy skin.
A groan rumbled free. “Darlin’…you are killing me. Every fuckin’ time I touch you, I’m losing breath.”
Sanity.
Didn’t even fucking know who I was anymore. If all her light was covering up my dark. If maybe she was exposing someone new or maybe bringing to life the old. Or maybe it was all just a twisted, sick illusion. One cast by the hand of an enchanting girl who made me see things I shouldn’t see.
Hot hands pressed under my shirt. Greedy. Her palms were flat as she raked the material up. She didn’t hesitate when she tore it over my head.
She rocked back, chocolate eyes do
ing a little of that devouring I was dying to do.
“You are everything.” It was a rasp. Fingertips traced across the lines of my abdomen, up over my chest, touching along the ink tattooed on my skin.
Memorizing.
Etching.
Marking.
The girl ruined me a little more with each trembling caress.
“When I’m with you…everything…everything feels right.”
Painfully, my chest squeezed. She was wrong. Sick part? I wanted to be.
Right.
Good for this girl when I knew, without a doubt, I’d only fuck it up in the end.
Either that thought didn’t come through clear or I was just a selfish bastard, because it wasn’t enough to curb my actions. Not enough to stop me from reaching around to flick the snap on her bra. My hands glided back over the caps of her shoulders and down the length of her arms.
Goose bumps trailed in my wake.
One touch, and this girl was shaking in my hands.
I dropped it to the floor.
Air hit her flesh and I watched as her nipples pebbled under my stare.
Pink and puckered tight.
So damned pretty.
Her tits were small, and I cupped one in my hand. I swept my thumb back and forth across the rock-hard peak.
A quiver rolled down her spine.
“Perfection.” It was a murmur. Praise.
I edged her back, urging her to climb onto the center of my bed.
She complied. No questions or reservations. Just that sweet shyness that kissed across every exquisite inch of her body.
I removed her socks and shoes, dropped them with a thud to the floor. A smirk ticked up at the corner of my mouth, and I bit my bottom lip when I popped the button of her jeans. “Let me show you just how damned much. How fucking sexy you are. Way I can’t control myself the second you step in the room.”
She trembled. “Ash.”
“You own me,” I murmured low, hating the confession but knowing it was true. I was so far out of my element. Easy had taken a nasty fall out the window right along with my senses.
Because I had none.
All except for the one’s that lit up under her touch. Under her stare. Beneath that tender heart that was slowly undoing me. Cutting right through my reserves and getting to all those places I didn’t want her to be.
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