“Hi, sweetie, how ya doing? You look…great, actually,” my mom says as she hugs me.
“Gee, Mom. Don’t act so surprised.”
She bats my arm as my dad kisses the top of my head. “Hey, kiddo.”
“Hey, Dad.” We smile at each other, and he plops onto Derek’s recliner. He and Derek fought over it constantly. Now, he’s the only one who sits in it.
“Sup, loser,” Drew says as she hugs me.
“Sup, freak.” She chuckles, and we all head into the kitchen as mom unpacks the meat they brought over for me to grill.
“Hey, Dad?” I yell at him over the loud basketball game on my tv.
“Yeah, kiddo?”
“Will you light the grill for me? The starter button thing went out, and I’m too scared to light it with a lighter. You know, cause last time I did that, it didn’t go so well for me.”
He chuckles. “I remember. You were lucky you didn’t lose your eyebrows that day.”
“Wait, what?” Drew looks confused.
“You don’t remember? I felt like grilling chicken, and when I went to light the grill, I turned on the gas and realized I forgot the lighter but didn’t open the lid. So, when I opened it and switched the lighter. Boom.”
Drew laughs uncontrollably. “How do I not remember this?”
“You were probably sneaking around with your boyfriend or something.”
“Whatever, I was an angel.”
My mom is biting her lips, holding back a laugh, and Drew hits her on the arm.
“It literally blew me back like six feet. Besides the burns on my hand, it was pretty funny.”
“All good, kiddo,” my dad says as he walks past me and back into the chair to watch the game.
My mom, Drew, and I are seasoning chicken, steak, corn on the cob, and a grill plate full of veggies. Just as I’m about to take the meat out to the grill, my doorbell rings. My heart races, and my eyes widen.
“Who could that be?” my mom asks.
“Yeah, Emery Jean. Who could that be?” Drew says with a sneaky smile on her face, and I sneer at her.
“I’ll be back in a sec. Keep…seasoning stuff.” My mom squints at me before she looks at my dad, but he’s not paying any attention.
When I get to the front door, I look back and see my mom peeking around the corner, so I sneak outside and find Mason with a handful of daisies. “Hey, what are you doing here? I thought you had to work?” I give him a big hug, and he kisses my head. The feeling is still new as my stomach flutters anytime I’m near him.
“I got low-needed and wanted to surprise my favorite girl, but I didn’t realize you had guests. I can come back later.” He smiles at me, moving the hair from my face as I look up with a smile, my arms still wrapped around him. “These are for you.” He hands me the flowers.
“My favorite. Thank you.” Smiling, I tip my chin up, and he leans down to kiss me. Right as he pulls away, the front door opens, and I jump, hiding the flowers behind my back, then bringing them back in front of me. I’m just unsure what to do with my hands as Drew comes out, but my mom stands farther behind her with a surprised look on her face.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot something in the car. Oops.” Drew not-so-innocently shrugs as she walks by. The little twerp. “Hi, Mason.”
“Hi, Drew.” He’s trying not to chuckle at my misery, but he’s failing.
My mom walks forward. “Emery Jean, who’s this?” I was expecting a disappointed look, maybe a glare, and I don’t know why because that’s not like my mom at all. I just keep thinking I’m doing something wrong, and I have to keep reminding myself that I’m not.
“Mom, this is Mason. Mason, this is mom.”
He shakes his head, smiling at me as he holds out his hand to shake my mom’s. “Nice to meet you, ma’am.”
“Please, call me Laura.” She smiles sweetly. “I have to apologize, Emery hasn’t told me about you.” Slowly turning towards my mom with wide eyes, I silently plead her to shut the heck up.
Mason laughs. “Is that right?” He looks at me with an amused grin, finding delight in my peril.
“Okay, Mom. Thanks for coming out. I’m gonna talk to Mason, and I’ll be in soon.”
“What? He’s leaving? What’s wrong with you? We have plenty of food. The man’s probably starving, come on in!” My mom waves him in as she walks back inside, door wide open with the sound of the game in the background.
Mason lifts his brows. “What’s it gonna be, Emery? Kicking me out, cold and hungry?”
I roll my eyes. “Get inside, hotshot.” He laughs and kisses my forehead.
“Hey,” I say as he takes off his work boots, wrapping my arms around his waist once he stands back up. “Thank you for the flowers. And surprising me.”
He squeezes me back. “Of course.” He pauses. “Is this okay?” I love that he’s always looking out for me. I know why he’s asking too, with my parents being around.
“Yeah, it’s okay.” I smile up at him, and he pecks me on the lips once more before I lead him through the kitchen to the living room.
“Dad?” There’s a nervousness in my voice, but he doesn’t grab it.
“Yeah, kiddo?” He doesn’t take his eyes off the screen.
“I have someone I want you to meet.”
That gets his attention. His eyes go directly to Mason, and although he’s done the “hurt my daughter speech” before, I’m curious if he’ll do it again. He checks Mason out. Both of them standing there as Mason shakes his hand. “Mason.”
My dad purses his lips for a minute before he nods. “Greg.”
“Nice to meet you.”
I’m watching them, waiting for something to come, but my dad just looks at me and winks.
“Likewise. Laker fan?”
“Absolutely,” Mason says, then looks at me. “Do you need any help?”
I shake my head. “No, I’m good.” He smiles and sits on the couch, joining my dad for the game. The smile is already on my face when he looks back at me and scrunches his nose before talking to my dad about different players and trades and playoff stuff.
Back in the kitchen, my mom stands next to me. “Care to explain?”
“Not at the moment,” I say through thin lips.
“That wasn’t really a question,” she says back. I sigh, turning my back towards them and facing my mom, spinning the ring I still wear on my left finger.
“I met him back in November. He’s been a really great friend, Mom. I don’t know how I would’ve gotten through the last few months without him.” I look behind me, catching a glimpse of him and smile.
“When did it become more?” she asks as she slices a cucumber.
I shrug. “Just the other day. Like, last week.” My lips pull to the side before I set down the knife and look at my mom in the eyes. “I really like him, Mom. He’s amazing.”
She smiles, cupping my cheeks in her hands. “You don’t need our permission if that's what you’re asking, and you don’t have to feel like you need to hide him. We all know how much you love Derek. God brings people into your life when it’s right. Let yourself have some fun for a bit.”
“Thanks, Mom.” I smile. “Where did Drew go?”
Her brows pull together. “I don’t know. Give her a call, will ya?”
I call her phone, but she doesn’t answer. Heading outside, I hear a sniffle and walk around the corner of my house to see her sitting on the grass against the house, phone to her ear and tears rolling down her face.
“I gotta go.” She hangs up, wipes her face, and stands. “Hey, sorry. Had to take this.”
“What’s wrong?”
“Huh? Oh, nothing. I’m just emotional. On my period and stuff.”
“Don’t lie to me, Drew. What’s going on?”
Her lips quiver as she bites her lips and shakes her head. “I messed up.”
“What do you mean?” I hug her, and her arms wrap around me as she buries her face in my shoulder.
“Bo
y trouble. I don’t feel like talking about it right now.”
“Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything,” I say as I wipe another tear falling down her cheek.
“I know. I love you.”
“I love you, too. Come on. Go fix yourself up and come out back with me. If I don’t get the meat on soon, Mom and Dad will kill me. Besides, Mason is in there alone. Only God knows what could be happening.”
We both laugh and head back into my house. As we pass down the hallway, the picture of Derek and me on our wedding day stops me. I stare at it and smile, touching his face over the glass when I feel Mason’s arms wrap around me from behind.
“You looked beautiful.”
I grin. “Thank you.”
He kisses my cheek, and we head out back as I put dinner on the grill. Drew, Mason, and I joke around outside while I cook, and not too much later, the food is ready. We all plate up and sit down to eat.
“So, Mason. What do you do?” my dad asks, completely ignoring his work uniform he’s still in.
“I’m a paramedic.” Mason smiles.
“Wow, that’s amazing. How long have you been doing that?”
“About seven years now. I was an EMT for a while, but I went back to school so I could become a paramedic. It’s hectic and crazy, but I absolutely love it.” A light shines in his eyes as he talks about it.
“That’s great,” my mom speaks up with a smile.
“This is incredible.” Mason smiles at me, pointing to his steak.
“Thank you.” I beam at his compliment, and when I look at my mom, she’s smiling ear to ear.
“So, are we doing Tahoe this summer or what?” I ask.
“I’m down,” Drew says as she stuffs her face.
“We were just talking about this the other day. I’m glad you mentioned it. June again?” my mom asks, then turns to Mason. “Mason, you should come!”
He stutters a bit, unsure of what to say when he looks at me. “You should,” I reassure him. “We try to do a yearly Tahoe trip, but we’ve missed it the last two years.”
“That sounds amazing. I’d love to.”
“Perfect.” I grin at him again and look around the table at my family as they laugh and joke with each other. Although I ache missing Derek, I feel him here with us, and I feel him smiling.
You’re doing great, baby.
I close my eyes and smile back.
opia—the ambiguous intensity
of looking someone in the eye
Mason
“Here, let me get that. You sit.” I take the plates from the table and bring them to the sink.
“Thank you.” She smiles as she sits back and props her feet up on the chair next to her. “Views not bad from here.” She smirks at me while I do the dishes. Her parents and sister just left, but I’m going to stay for a bit longer.
“You should see my Sunday special.”
“Oh, don’t tempt me.” She chuckles.
“Who? Me?”
“Playing coy now, huh?” She smiles, and it steals my breath.
“Smile like that some more, Emery Jean.”
“Keep doing my dishes, and I’ll be sure to.”
I bark out a laugh and dry my hands before I walk over to her and pick her up out of the chair, hauling her over my shoulder as she screeches. I throw her on the couch and land myself right on top of her, caging her in. Her light brown eyes beam at me, her chest rising and falling as I become painfully aware of her body molded to mine.
“I’m a lucky bastard.”
She sighs. “Yeah. You are, aren’t ya?”
“Smartass.” My fingers find her ribs, and she screams from being tickled. Her laugh ringing through her house is the most melodic sound I’ve heard in a long time. I slow my torture, and she wraps her arms around my neck as I lay down next to her. She scooches over so we’re lying on her couch, facing each other. Emery snuggles into the crook of my neck, and I’ve never felt more content in my thirty years on Earth.
I must have dozed off because I wake up out of nowhere, Emery still snuggled into me. Slowly, I reach into my back pocket to grab my phone, the bright light blinding my eyes as I see it’s one in the morning. It takes me five whole minutes to wiggle out, but I manage without waking her. Carefully, I pick Emery up, trying not to disturb her as I carry her down the hall into her room, and it’s the first time I’ve been in here. The first thing I notice is how soft the carpet is—it’s nice. I gently pull back the covers and lay her down, covering her back up and plugging her phone in for her. Tiptoeing out of her room, I try to quietly clean up the rest of the kitchen before I leave so she doesn’t have to in the morning.
Just as I’m about to put on my boots, I hear her soft voice. “Mason?”
“Yeah, baby. Over here.”
She shuffles to me, one hand over her eyes to block the light. “Where are you going?”
“Home. I just wanted to make sure you were all set first.”
I see her gulp then look down at her hands as she rocks back and forth on her feet.
I pause and smirk at her. “What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”
“Um, you can stay. If you want, I mean.” She’s nervous. Hell, so am I.
“Are you sure? I don’t mind either way. I just want you to be comfortable.”
“I know. And I think that’s why so far everything has felt comfortable with you. You’ve never pushed for more, and I really appreciate you letting the ball be in my court.”
I shrug. Of course, I would never push her. “Okay. I’ll stay if you want me to. Where do you want me?”
“Um, are you okay laying on the couch with me again?”
“Absolutely. Are you okay if I take my shirt off? This uniform isn’t the comfiest.”
“Oh, of course. I’m sorry, I didn’t even think of that. I can see if I have—”
“No, no. That’s okay.” There’s no way I’m wearing his clothes. Not in a rude or condescending way, it just doesn’t feel right.
She nods and watches me as I undo every button on my shirt. It doesn’t pass me the way her breathing increases, and God does it feel good to know I affect her the way she affects me. The shirt slowly falls from my arms before my hands undo the belt of my pants. Her eyes greedily take in every movement, and when they meet mine, I bite my lip to hide the smirk. I lay on the couch, and she lies partly on me, partly on the couch with her leg thrown over mine. But this time, we toss and turn for minutes trying to get comfortable, but we can’t.
“You know what, let's just…let's just go in my room.”
“Emery, are you sure? We don’t have to…”
“Yeah, this is uncomfortable as hell, and I love my bed.”
“Okay.” Letting her lead me to the room, we stand on each side of the bed, staring at each other. I see the lump she swallows as she dips her thumbs in the waistband of her leggings, slowly sliding them down, inch by inch. My eyes take in the smooth, naturally tanned skin of her legs. This is going to be so much harder than I thought.
Pun intended.
She throws back the covers and hops in quickly, suddenly embarrassed. “If you need to take your—erm, pants—off to be comfortable, I understand.”
“Trying to kill me here, Emery Jean?”
She chuckles. “No. I just want you to be comfortable.”
I itch my head in contemplation. Even if she wanted, nothing is happening tonight. It’s too soon, and I want to make sure she’s completely ready when the time comes.
“Okay.” Unbuttoning my work pants, they slowly fall down my legs, and I step out of them, now only in my briefs. Her eyes roam over my body as I sink into bed beside her. Emery immediately gravitates towards me, laying her head on my arm.
Don’t throw your leg over me. Don’t throw your leg over me.
She moves slightly and throws her leg over me, and I have to try and situate myself so she doesn’t feel the hard on I have now. Jesus, Mason. Control yourself.
“Is th
is okay? Are you okay?” I ask her to make sure.
Emery nods. “What do these mean?” Her finger lightly grazes the skin of my chest with a few tattoos.
“The hand signing I love you is for my dad—he’s deaf. This one is for my mom. It’s German for I love you. The rest I was bored, and they have no specific meaning.” I chuckle.
“Does it hurt?”
“Some spots do,” I say honestly.
“I’ve always wanted one. I’ve just never bitten the bullet.”
“I know a lot of artists. I’ll show them to you. Key is to find one that you love. It’s worth the money, trust me.”
“Deal.” She chuckles. “Mason?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you think you could kiss me again?”
Hell yes. “I think I most definitely could.” Moving the hair out of her face in these moments is probably my favorite part because her eyes shine a little brighter. Tipping her chin, I bring my lips to hers, not speeding anything up because if I did, this would get out of hand real fucking fast.
Emery’s lips press harder into mine and my hands slide into her hair while she moves her body even closer to mine. Blood shoots straight to my dick when she moans into my mouth. It takes every ounce of my strength, but I slow it down, knowing I have to be careful with her. She pulls away, nodding in agreeance to slow down.
“Goodnight, Mason,” she whispers through her grin with closed eyes.
“Goodnight, baby.”
I kiss her forehead, listening and waiting for her breathing to even out. This is a very fragile line I’m walking on, and I want to make sure she feels safe—comfortable. Emery has come to mean more to me than any woman I’ve met, yet I’ve already doomed this relationship. I need to talk to her. Tell her. Try and pour my heart out in a way that maybe, just maybe, she’ll forgive me. But I don’t deserve her forgiveness. I don’t deserve her, period. Because I’m part of the reason she’s been in so much fucking pain. Emery’s going to feel betrayed that I’ve known who she was this whole time. That I watched her break down in the hospital waiting room when they told her that Derek was dead. That the moment I watched her drop to the floor, screaming for him to come back to her, I made a vow to always check on her. Because it’s my fault. I failed her.
The Best of Me Page 13